Caught in Between

by Alison L. Perry

As if reading my mind, she reassured me. “Sadie, calm down. I am not going to force-feed you blood. I can see you’re afraid. I’m not a sadist and would never force you to do something you don’t want to do. Go sit back down on the bed and let’s talk. I’m not going to hurt you. You can trust me.”

  Sincerity vibrated in her tone, and somehow I knew she was telling the truth. Relaxing a bit, I did as she said but kept a wary watch on the tube still in her hand. I think she knew as long as she held it, I was going to be a jumpy mess because she put it back in the fridge and sat in the chair Kade had vacated.

  I closed my eyes and tried to think pleasant thoughts. This day was turning out worse than I’d feared, and I hadn’t even made it to second period yet. I wondered how Molly was doing and if she’d heard about my locker-room mix-up yet. I wondered if Nathan was getting any crap because his little sister was such a freak. And I wondered what Kade… Kade, what a lovely name… was thinking about me.

  The nurse shifted and I opened my eyes. Taking a deep breath in and letting it whoosh back out, I forced my muscles to relax.

  “I guess you’re probably wondering what’s wrong with me,” I started. She raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I’m a vampire. But I have panic attacks and can’t stand the sight of blood and… well, I’m just not a very good vampire.”

  “What makes a good vampire, then?” she asked.

  I didn’t know what to say. I mean, the answer was obvious, wasn’t it? I started to get a little resentful that she was talking to me like I was an idiot. I mean, yeah, I had a fainting spell and had to be carried to the clinic. And yes, I had a less than stellar reaction to blood, but I wasn’t stupid.

  “Nurse… I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name.” The annoyance in my voice was loud and clear.

  “Edara,” she responded.

  Nurse Edara. What a pretty name.

  “Nurse Edara—”

  “Just call me Edara, Sadie.”

  “Okay, Edara, what do you mean ‘what makes a good vampire’? We both know the answer.” I was sounding snappy but didn’t care. Maybe she would get fed up with me and send me home. I perked up a little at the thought.

  But she didn’t look fed up at all. Instead, her expression was intense and interested and well, curious.

  “If the answer is so obvious, then please enlighten me.”

  I sighed a huge, deep, resigned sigh.

  “A good vampire is sleek and sexy, not cute. A good vampire is stealthy and quick and doesn’t fall in the mud or stumble into the boys’ locker room. A good vampire loves and even craves blood instead of passing out at the sight of it. And a good vampire is confident in who they are because they know what they’re doing!” My voice heaved with anger and self-loathing. “So, you see Edara, I am not a good vampire.”

  I stopped, at once relieved to get it out in the open and ashamed that I’d exposed all my secret feelings. And to an adult at that. I waited for her to get mad at my disrespect, but all she did was look at with me kindness.

  “Does it feel better to get that off your chest?” When I didn’t answer, she continued. “Sadie, your definition of a ‘good vampire’ is yours alone. Even though most vampires do share the same basic similarities, we are still individuals with unique personalities. Perhaps you are a little more unique, but why is that bad?”

  “Because I don’t belong. I’m stuck in a world I don’t fit into.”

  This time, she sighed. “When I mentioned the other students I’ve seen over the years… the ones who stand out in my memory… you knew what made them all special, didn’t you?”

  “Yes,” I mumbled, suddenly tired of the whole thing. I just wanted to go home and forget all about this day.

  “Yes, you did. They all struggled in various ways like you.”

  I didn’t know what to think or say. Was she trying to tell me I was actually normal? The thought made me want to laugh, but I didn’t. My mind wandered to Kade again, and I wondered if he thought I was normal. He hadn’t acted completely repulsed by me when he left. For a second, I was hopeful, but the feeling left as quickly as it came. Kade was perfect, and I was anything but.

  “Edara, if you don’t mind, I’d like to get back to class. Not that I know where I’m going, but…”

  She seemed to understand. “What do you have for second period?” She picked my bag up from the floor and handed it to me.

  I rifled through it, looking for my schedule. I found it and groaned. “Persuasion,” I said.

  “Ah, that’s a good class. You might enjoy that one. Mr. Donfrey is teaching it this year. It’s held in the smaller auditorium in the main building. Two doors down from the one you were probably in for orientation.”

  She helped me stand up and kept a firm hand on my shoulder while my legs wobbled under me. I knew she was right. Blood would give me some of my strength back. I hated the idea of doing it in front of her, but it wasn’t like she didn’t already know. I reached back into my bag and my fingers found the bottle I kept my blood capsules in.

  I held it up without saying a word. She gave me an understanding nod and brought me a glass of water. Self-consciously, I swallowed two of them and stashed the bottle back where it’d come from.

  “Okay, off you go. I’ll write you an excuse for first period and make sure it gets to your teacher. I hope the rest of your day is peaceful, dear. But, if you need to come back, even if it’s just to talk some more, I’m here.”

  I was overwhelmed with a sense of comfort and wondered if it was because she was doing something to calm me or if it was because I’d shared my fears with a stranger who didn’t judge me. Either way, I was grateful.

  Chapter 4 - Drowning in the Gene Pool

  I made it to Persuasion without incident. Word of my locker-room blunder had spread, but compared to the ridicule I’d made up in my head, the reality wasn’t that bad. Most kids just whispered and giggled. A few gave me sympathetic smiles.

  Mr. Donfrey seemed pretty cool. Unlike Kringsly’s formal personality, he joked and laughed as we went around the room introducing ourselves. I hated scenarios where I had to make myself sound witty and interesting to a roomful of strangers, especially when they already knew how “special” I was. I fidgeted as I waited for my turn. Finally, my name was called.

  I stood slowly. My knees were wobbly, the nerves and adrenaline crashing together inside my body. I sensed everyone’s eyes on me and the anxiety turned up a notch. As if it would somehow help, I closed my eyes, trying desperately to force my mouth open. I struggled that way for a minute, and someone snickered. I took a deep breath.

  “Hi, I’m Sadie. Um, I’ve lived here in Jefferson my whole life. I have an older brother who is graduating this year, and um, a younger sister and brother. They’re twins.” I searched in my mind for something else to say, but the only things interesting were on my Do Not Speak list. “I… I guess that’s it.”

  Mr. Donfrey nodded. “Okay, thank you, Sadie. You may take your seat.” I heard more giggles and whispers from the room, but one look from Mr. Donfrey quieted them down. My face burned and I slumped down in my seat to make myself less noticeable. I didn’t listen to what anyone else said. Instead, I used every ounce of energy to focus on doodling in my notebook.

  When it was finally over, Mr. Donfrey leaned on the corner of his desk with his arms crossed and addressed the class.

  “Who can tell me what we are supposed to be learning in here this year?” His dark bushy eyebrows wiggled together crazily as he skimmed the crowd looking for volunteers. When nobody raised a hand, he consulted his seating chart and called out a name.

  “Ms. Sonya Casters, can you answer the question?”

  The rude redhead from earlier stood up. “Persuasion is the art of convincing others, primarily one’s victims, to act and speak as you will them.”

  “Very good, Ms. Casters, you may take your seat.” He looked around the room and posed his next question. “And how do we convince our target? What does this entail?”


  A voice spoke from the other side of the room, and everyone’s head swiveled to look. A tall, dark-haired guy stood up and leaned against his desk. “Persuading others means having a supreme desire to control them in that moment in time. When a vampire wishes it hard enough, our brain fires off a signal that overrides our target’s emotions, thoughts, and actions. We were born with this power. It’s a part of our genetics.”

  He gave a slight bow and sat back down looking pleased with himself. I noticed several girls staring at him with dreamy looks on their faces and I rolled my eyes. Clearly, he was a show-off know-it-all, and he’d just raked in some groupies.

  Mr. Donfrey looked almost as impressed as the girls. “Yes, Mr. Monroe. You are correct. Kudos to you for doing the reading before class.” He beamed. “Now, as Jack has pointed out, there are several key factors to being successful in Persuasion. Desire, genetics, and of course, having the physical capability to perform the act.”

  He continued on, but I tuned out. As with everything else connected to vampirism, I was terrible at Persuasion. Of course, not many truly mastered the art until they were older, but almost everyone in our family had been good at it from an early age. I could understand the desire part of the equation. I didn’t have any. But, obviously, we had the genetics in our family. My parents and Nathan were proof enough of that. So, did that mean I had something physically wrong with me? Was I broken?

  I was still fumbling with that thought when I met up with Molly for lunch. The large room was buzzing as kids compared classes and hung out with their friends. Most had brought blood bags along with their human food, but a few had their personal Feeders with them and were drinking straight from the vein. I searched the room for Molly, trying to tune out the sights and sounds surrounding me. Just when I was about to give up and look around the outside lawn, I spotted her. She was sitting at a vacant table by the windows, away from the crowd. I breathed a sigh of relief. But one look at her face wiped it away. I knew that look.

  I plopped down next to her and felt my mud-dried jeans crunch a little at the impact. “Spit it out.”

  Without missing a beat, she started in. “I heard about your adventure in the boys’ locker room.”

  “Yeah, I figured. The rumor mill moves so fast, my parents will probably have already heard by the time I make it home.” I squelched down in my chair at the thought. Mom and Dad would sigh, shake their heads, and tell me I’m just not trying hard enough. It was a conversation we’d had a million times before.

  “Yes, they probably will,” she agreed. “But what I’m more worried about is who took you to the clinic.”

  “You mean Kade?”

  “That’s exactly who I mean. Do you have any idea who he is?”

  Okay, now I was starting to get worried. Molly didn’t often make things a big deal unless they really were a big deal. And right now, she was making it sound like Kade was a very big deal.

  “No, I guess I don’t. I mean, I know he’s the guy I noticed in orientation. And the guy who was nice enough to keep me from falling to the ground like a lump of meat and who carted me off to the nurse. And the guy who stayed until I woke up and only left because he was forced.” I paused. “He’s a nice guy when you think about it.”

  “Yeah, he’s a nice guy, all right. But he’s an Anderson, one of the richest and most powerful families in the state… maybe even the whole country.” She paused. “He’s also Jill Holstein’s boyfriend.”

  She may as well have dropped a literal bomb on me. It felt like time was standing still as I fought to comprehend what she’d just said. I heard blood rushing loudly through the veins in my ears, and I started to get nauseated for a completely different reason. This can’t be happening. It just can’t.

  “He’s an Anderson? You can’t be ser—wait a minute. Jill Holstein? As in the Holstein Holsteins?” I asked, hoping I’d heard wrong.

  “Yep, the one and the same. Girl, I don’t know how you manage to do this. You have the worst luck.”

  “But, I didn’t do anything! He’s the one who decided to carry me to the nurse. I was unconscious. How could this be my fault?” I was trying desperately to keep the note of hysteria out of my voice, but the thought of Jill Holstein was sending me straight to a nervous breakdown.

  “Sadie, I know you didn’t ask for this, but you know how Jill operates. Being the great-great-granddaughter of the University’s founder has always been the foundation for her ego. Search the word ‘entitlement’ in the dictionary and her face is next to it. Everyone gets that. But—”

  “But she reacts first and won’t listen to anything that doesn’t support her feelings. Yeah, I know. Of all the people to decide to be a hero…” I trailed off, mumbling curses under my breath. I stood up and searched the crowd, looking for my only chance.

  “What are you doing? Who are you looking for?”

  “Nathan. He’s got to take me home. I can’t stay here. I can’t make enemies of two powerful families. And I have to talk to my parents, convince them University is the wrong place for me. Maybe they’ll let me stay home. Or get a job. Just not in my dad’s company.” I shivered thinking about it.

  “You know that won’t work. Your parents are sticklers for going along the straight and narrow and following the path your ancestors laid down for you.” In a singsong voice, she quoted my dad: “Homeschool until you’re sixteen, finishing school for four years, and joining the family business.”

  I sank back down in my seat and rolled my eyes at her perfect imitation. “Okay. But, there are other finishing schools in the country. I could transfer to one of them.”

  “This is your parents’ alma mater. You honestly think they’d go for that?”

  “I don’t know. But, if I can just convince them once and for all that spending four years in this stupid place isn’t going to make me any better at being a vampire, maybe they’d ease up.” An idea popped into my head. “Maybe they’d let me try Jefferson High.” Panic was making me grasp at straws, but the more it lingered in the air, the more I started to like the idea.

  “Human high school?” Molly asked incredulously. “You are losing it. You’d rather go to school with an entirely different species than be here? How do you think you could pull that off, anyway? There are a thousand reasons why that’s the stupidest idea I’ve ever heard.”

  “Oh yeah? Name the biggest one.”

  “Uh, the sun, you dope.”

  Crap. The news of Kade and Jill was making me stupid. “Okay, okay, whatever. You don’t have to be mean about it, though.” The wheels in my mind clicked as I tried to think of alternatives. “I bet I could make it work if I had to. It’s better than sticking around here. Anything is better than that.”

  Molly took a delicate bite of her sushi and didn’t respond. I watched her chew for a moment and saw a dab of blood at the corner of her mouth. She’d drunk her blood bag before I got to the table. I smiled a little. She’d always been cool like that. We’d met while toddlers in The Nursery. Despite being total opposites in personality and family background, we had bonded immediately and became inseparable. Over the years, I’d come to love her like a sister.

  It didn’t surprise me that Molly was warning me to stay clear of Kade. Or knocking my plan to get out of this hellhole. Even though she could be a little mean, her heart was always in the right place. I gave her a small smile while my mind raced. Kade and Jill were a couple. Kade was Jill’s boyfriend. What was I going to do? I knew coming to University had been a bad idea.

  ***

  When the lunch bell rang, we started packing up. It was time to go sign up for our elective class. I wasn’t exactly eager to do it, but at least I’d get to choose how I wanted to be humiliated. That was something.

  “Hey, I’m going to run by student services real quick. I’ll meet you in the Great Hall so we can look at the choices together.”

  I breathed an inward sigh of relief. Over the summer, Molly had talked about us taking the same elective, and I’d been w
orried she’d changed her mind after hearing about my disastrous start this morning.

  “Okay, I’ll see you over there in a bit.”

  She hurried off, throwing me a wave over her shoulder. I watched her go, jealous that everything seemed to be so easy for her. I could already see her confidence increasing since being around so many kids our age. I sighed. It seemed to be doing the opposite for me.

  I took my time walking to where the sign-up sheets were posted. I kept a careful eye out for either Kade or Jill but had no idea what to do if I saw either of them. Praying I wouldn’t have to find out, I did my best to blend in with the crowd making their way to the Great Hall.

  To everyone’s dismay, except maybe mine, there were no electives posted. Just a sign saying that the faculty was still finalizing the classes and they would be available for sign-up tomorrow. Kids grumbled as they walked off, and I tried to look as disgruntled as everyone else.

  Molly came screeching up to where I was standing, panting and out of breath. “Di… Did I miss it?” She held a hand to her side and sucked in air as fast as she could.

  I raised one eyebrow at her. “What’s with the running? You didn’t have to do that. They haven’t finalized the classes yet, so nothing is posted. We’re supposed to check back tomorrow.”

  She stood up and glared at me. “You mean I ran all the way here for nothing?”

  I shrugged. “Hey, don’t blame the messenger. I’m just telling you what I know. Everyone’s upset about it.”

  “Uh-huh. I don’t think quite everyone is.”

  “Okay, sure, I’m not thrilled with having another class, but I was stoked to be able to pick my poison.”

  She gave me a knowing look and checked her watch. “Fourth periods are about to start. We’d better get going.”

  I hitched my bag higher on my shoulder and followed her back out into the moonlight. She paused at the bottom of the steps and gave me a quick hug.

  “I hope the rest of today goes better for you, Sade. Just try to steer clear of you know who.”