Caught in Between

by Alison L. Perry

  “You said you’re here for some blood. From your reaction when you walked in, you still can’t tolerate drinking from the source.” She kept her tone matter-of-fact. I think she knew if she allowed sympathy to creep into her voice, it’d set off the waterworks again.

  I heaved a sigh. “Yes. I tried a new look today, and I changed bags, but forgot to move everything over…” I petered out. It was obvious what I meant.

  “And what else did you say? I couldn’t quite make it out.”

  “Um, well, this is hard to say. But, I’m not allowed to take an elective until Jake… Mr. Boulders… is a little happier with my Maneuvers performance. So, I’m having to do it twice a day, and I just left there all sweaty and gross. I thought since I need help with blood anyway, maybe you had a way I could… sorta… clean up a bit?” The heat rose in my face as I finished. It was bad enough having to come to her for help with drinking, but to basically admit I’m a slob… well, it was almost too much for me.

  A look of understanding, and this time sympathy, dawned across her features. Without a word, she walked over to the other side of the room and rummaged through the drawers next to the sink. Triumphantly, she held up a container of wet wipes.

  “It’s not as good as a shower, but this should work. Why don’t you pull the curtain back around you and get yourself tidied up. I’ll work on how we’re going to get some blood down you.”

  That sounded ominous. I was half-hoping she had a stash of blood capsules of her own, but in reality, I knew that was just wishful thinking. I pulled a handful of wipes out of the container and nearly gagged at the overwhelming baby powder scent. But I figured beggars couldn’t be choosers, so I yanked my shirt up around my neck and scrubbed at my armpits. With the easy part out of the way, I took a deep breath in preparation for the next. Making sure Nurse Edara wasn’t about to pop back in to check on me, I peeked outside the curtain. Seeing nobody, I withdrew my head and got on with it. Hurriedly, I jerked my skirt up around my waist and pulled my underwear down a bit to give me full access as I cleaned up. I was so busy trying to rush, I didn’t notice the sound of the main door opening again. Nor did I hear the tapping of heels as they neared my hiding spot.

  “Nurse Edara?” I heard a female voice call out.

  I froze, completely at a loss what to do. Before I could make any semblance of a plan, the curtain pulled away. At the same time, Edara walked back into the room carrying a syringe and a vial of blood. As if the whole world was moving in slow motion, I watched as icy-blue eyes traveled up and down my nearly naked body and focused on the wipes in my hands. None of us moved a muscle until Jill burst into a bone-chilling laugh. Then all hell broke loose. I screamed; Nurse Edara pulled the curtain back around me and yanked Jill into her office with the slam of a door. From my spot, I could still hear Jill’s insane laughter and Edara reprimanding her. I even thought I heard her say “shut up,” but I was still too busy screaming, sobbing, and shaking to make anything else out.

  I don’t know how long I stood there in that state, but it was Edara who finally snapped me out of it. She appeared in a flash and held me by the shoulders. When shaking me didn’t do it, she slapped me across the face. Shocked, I put a hand to my cheek.

  With an apology in her voice, she said, “I’m sorry, hon. That was the only thing that would have gotten your attention.”

  “I… I… ”

  “Shh, I know.” She stroked my cheek where her handprint must’ve been, even as Jill’s laughter continued to float into the room. Edara’s eyes hardened. “I know I’m an adult and should be better than this, but I really want to wring her bitchy little neck.”

  I liked the sound of that. Gulping in air, I tugged at my sweater, but my hands were trembling too much. Edara helped me pull it down and gently put me back together “down there,” too.

  “T… th… thank y… you,” I said.

  “You’re welcome, Sadie. I wish I knew what to say to make this better.” I heard her sincerity and was thankful for it, but she was right. I didn’t think anything could make this better.

  “I just can’t believe of all people… Jill… to see me like that. I mean, the whole school is going to hear. She’ll tell everyone.” I buried my head in my hands. “What am I going to do?” I mumbled.

  “Oh, Sadie,” she sighed, “I know.”

  My humiliation, thirst, and fatigue from the day seemed to catch me all at once and I sagged against the bed.

  She looked at me with concerned eyes. “I’m going to recommend, given the circumstances, that you go home for the afternoon. You certainly don’t need to try to face the rest of the school day with your emotions so raw.”

  Oh, how I wanted to take her advice. “I want to, Edara. But I ride with my brother, and I don’t think I have the strength to walk home.”

  “The blood! Oh, for heaven’s sake, in all the mess, I forgot about your blood. I can give you an injection of it, to take the edge off. If you’re willing to try that, let’s do it. And then I’ll drive you home.” Her expression hardened. “But first, let me get rid of Jill.”

  I nodded. I wished by “getting rid of” she meant permanently. But as soon as the thought flitted through my mind, I regretted it. I wasn’t a violent vampire. It took a whole lot to push me to the point I was at right now.

  Fully dressed now, I huddled in the far corner of my little bed area, with the curtain drawn back around me. There was no way I was going to give Jill the satisfaction of seeing me again. I couldn’t hear her laughing anymore, but I wasn’t fooled. As soon as she left the clinic, she would tell everyone on campus what she caught me doing. There would be no way of refuting her claims. I just hoped I could come up with some way to minimize the damage.

  Finally, I heard her leave Edara’s office and walk to the main door. But as it opened, she whispered in a soft voice, “You are so done, Sadie.”

  Chapter 9 - There's Humiliation and Then There's Me

  The next few weeks settled into a familiar, yet nightmarish, cadence. Word about what happened in the clinic spread like wildfire, and I couldn’t go anywhere without kids laughing and pointing at me. I lost count of the snarky comments the bolder ones threw my way. Jill had kept her promise, that was for sure. Not a person was left out on the retelling of my mishap. There were some that I could tell felt sorry for me, but they were few and far between. Mostly, I was just the girl caught with her pants down—literally—doing something suspicious with wet wipes. Nate tried to do what he could as far as damage control. But I honestly couldn’t criticize him for not wanting to stick his neck out too far. I don’t think I would have, either, if the situation had been reversed.

  Molly had also heard about my humiliation, and though she didn’t directly try to make me feel better, she did refrain from spreading the story. I figured that was her way of apologizing for our fight. Whenever we ran into each other on campus, we were civil, but that was about it. The harsh words we’d exchanged lingered, creating a chasm between us that grew wider every day. And even though I missed her, the rift didn’t bother me as much as I would have thought. She was quickly adapting to the mindset of a normal vampire, and I guess I couldn’t blame her. I was the odd man out here, and we had known it would be like this going in. Maybe she’d hoped that a few days or weeks at University would cure me of all my quirks. Or maybe we’d both been deluding ourselves into believing our friendship would withstand the differences between us.

  The only person who showed me outright kindness and even stood up for me was Kade. Since he was an Anderson, he didn’t have to worry about being thrown under the bus or becoming a target himself. Everyone knew better. It blew my mind that he still felt I was worth sticking up for. He was practically royalty and I… well, I was Cinderella. Before she became the princess.

  I’d taken to eating lunch by myself behind the gym in a little secluded group of trees. I’d gulp down my capsules and spend the rest of the time listening to music through my earbuds or reading a book from home. It w
as my little hiding spot, the only safe zone I had, and I relished my time in it. I’d also gone back to my normal dress code. If I had to suffer through this nightmare, at least I’d be comfortable doing it.

  It was here that I also allowed myself to drift away in daydreams. Dreams of growing up normal and feeling like I belonged in my family. Dreams of finding a cure for everything that made me different. And occasionally—very occasionally—I let myself dream about Kade.

  Kade. Every time I thought about him, I swooned a little on the inside. As far as I could tell, he was perfect. His natural vampire abilities were on point, but he also had a caring and compassionate side that most of our kind lacks. And for some reason, he seemed to like me. Despite Jill’s warnings, he still found ways to sneak a few moments here and there to talk to me. He even gave me his number, but I hadn’t had the courage to text him yet. My recent faux pas and the knowledge of who his family was constantly hovered in the back of my mind. I didn’t know what to do. My head yelled at me to do the sensible thing and cut all ties with him. As carefully as possible, of course. But my heart whispered of dreams and desire, and I found it nearly impossible to ignore them.

  Chapter 10 - Knives Cut Deep

  As the weeks went by, people began to lose interest in my humiliation. Slowly, the laughing and jeers lessened, until they finally stopped altogether. To say I was relieved was an understatement. Never had I been so happy to go back to being ignored.

  I continued to sweat my ass off in Maneuvers twice a day, but with all my effort, I still wasn’t progressing the way Jake thought I should. He kept shaking his head and muttering to himself when he thought I wasn’t looking. I guess I should have been upset about it, but deep down, this was what I’d expected. I’d spent my whole life tripping over my own feet, and even though everyone else in the world had thought this place would turn things around for me, I knew it wouldn’t. You just can’t make someone skilled when there’s nothing to start with.

  As for Persuasion and Camouflage, I was muddling through. After days of calling on me to answer questions or demonstrate on the unsuspecting humans we used as lab rats, Mr. Donfrey seemed ready to give up on me. We each had been assigned a human to practice on. Mine was named Sarah. I tried countless times to make her fear me, but it never took. The other humans in the room were like panicked rabbits around my classmates, but not Sarah. No matter how hard I tried to intimidate her, she just laughed. It was one more piece of evidence that my blond cuteness would never aid me in being a vicious predator.

  Since Camouflage was all about learning to blend in, I had a pretty decent handle on that one. The only place I didn’t blend in was with my classmates. But, whenever Ms. Lourde called on me to demonstrate something or answer a question, she seemed irritated that I didn’t have trouble with her task. I had the feeling she was offended that I wasn’t like everyone else. My theory grew stronger when I overheard her tell another teacher that I was “unnatural.” Since this was the only class I had been halfway hopeful about, it felt like a punch to the gut. Like I just couldn’t do anything right.

  To make things even worse, Moderation was a nightmare. Since the first day when Ms. Stratha questioned me about my childhood in The Nursery, I had an uneasy feeling about her. She seemed to sense it and took advantage of my anxiety as much as possible.

  During one especially stressful day, she brought a Feeder into the room and asked me to demonstrate feeding from the wrist until I felt the human’s pulse begin to slow. It was a neat little slap to the face because only children first learning to feed drink from the wrist. Everyone in the room understood the insult.

  “Um, I’m not feeling that well today, Ms. Stratha. May I be excused for a few minutes?” I was trying desperately to think of a way to get out of the room before she made me get up there, where I was sure I would ultimately make a fool of myself and expose my secret.

  “You may be excused after you have done as I’ve instructed.”

  “But—”

  “She can’t, Ms. Stratha,” Kade interrupted. “I heard Nurse Edara at lunch tell her to come to the clinic during fifth period to have her vitals checked again. Since she wasn’t feeling well.”

  I stared at him as I listened to the lies roll out of his mouth.

  Ms. Stratha took a deep breath as if she wanted to argue with him but snapped her mouth shut.

  “I’ll be happy to take her place,” Kade continued. “I’m sure I could demonstrate just as effectively?” The slight challenge hung in the air and the class seemed to collectively hold their breath as he and Ms. Stratha stared at each other.

  “Of course, Mr. Anderson,” she said, at last. Turning her head toward me, she gave a curt nod. “You may be excused Ms. Criswel.”

  I was stunned. I didn’t know what had prompted Kade to step in for the rescue, but I was grateful. Gathering up my things, I practically ran for the door and didn’t stop until I was in the parking lot. I sank down on the pavement by Nathan’s car and tried to calm down as I waited for the final bell to ring. Ms. Stratha knew something. I was sure of it. But it wasn’t just my secret that she knew. There was something almost sinister about her… as if she wanted to torture me with my inability. Why had she asked me about my father and The Nursery? What did she know?

  I heard the bell ring and clambered to my feet. In seconds, kids came spilling out of buildings all over campus. I took deep breaths as I hitched my bag up on my shoulder. Spotting Nathan, I lifted my arm in a wave to indicate I was ready to go.

  “Hey, sis.”

  “Hey.” I struggled to sound natural.

  He unlocked the car and we both slid in. If he noticed my anxiety, he didn’t mention it and I breathed a sigh of relief that I wouldn’t have to answer any questions.

  I spent the drive home staring out the window, replaying the events in Moderation class and trying to understand why I seemed to be a target. I hoped I was being paranoid, but I couldn’t keep my thoughts from turning as dark as the night we drove home in.

  ***

  I was quiet all through dinner, too busy chasing questions down rabbit holes in my mind. I noticed my mom and dad glancing at me every now and then, but I wasn’t about to bring up my troubles at the dinner table, so I just kept my eyes down and picked at my food.

  “Please pass me a knife. I didn’t get one,” Sophia said, her sweet singsong voice bringing me out of my reverie. I reached for the extra silverware sitting at the end of the table, but Joshua beat me to it. Taking one, he launched it across the table at Sophia, who shrieked and ducked, leaving me right in its path. The sharp point pierced my forehead and I screamed. Blood immediately started gushing down into my eyes, blurring my vision in a red haze. The smell of it tickled my nose and my insides churned around like a volcano about to explode.

  “Joshua!” Dad thundered.

  “Sadie!” Mom shouted.

  “This family…” Nathan muttered.

  I felt someone pull the knife out and replace it with the firm pressure of a towel. “It’s okay, Sadie, the bleeding is already slowing down.” My mom’s voice was soothing, her Persuasion wrapping around me like a warm, fuzzy blanket. My stomach was still twisting and I could feel my heartbeat with every pulse of blood that oozed out.

  “Get upstairs, both of you!” Dad’s voice boomed. The sound bounced around the walls of the kitchen, and I flinched.

  “But I didn’t do anything! Why do I have to leave?” I heard Sophia sniffle, but I was in too much pain to focus on anything other than staying conscious.

  “I don’t care who did what right now. I want the both of you out of my sight, in your rooms. Don’t make me repeat myself.” I heard one pair of scampering feet pounding on the stairs. Then, a soft voice in my ear.

  “Sadie, I’m so sorry.” A sob caught in Sophia’s throat. “I didn’t know he was going to throw it at me and I panicked. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.” Before I could respond, she left my side. Her slow footsteps as she made her way upstairs told me h
er apology was sincere.

  Mom was still applying pressure to the wound and trying to wipe blood out of my eyes at the same time. “Nathan, go get some blood capsules, gauze, and medical tape from the kitchen drawer by the sink.” She kept making sh-sh noises at me. It, along with her Persuasion, was finally getting to me and I grew drowsy. My muscles relaxed and my stomach finally settled down.

  “What in the hell got into Joshua?” Dad asked.

  Mom was busy using some of the gauze to cover the gash. With a grim voice, she answered, “I don’t know. He had a rough time in lessons today. Maybe he was more frustrated than I thought.”

  “That’s no excuse to throw a knife at his sister. Why would he do that?”

  “Michael, I don’t know! I’m trying to keep our daughter from passing out over here, so I don’t have time to analyze the debauchery of our youngest offspring.” She yanked a little too hard on the gauze, and I yelped as a flash of pain bit through my forehead. “Why is there so much blood?” she muttered to herself. “There shouldn’t be this much blood.” She raised her voice. “Why don’t you go up there and deal with them while I finish down here. Nathan, if you would start clearing the table, that would be a big help.” Her tone left no room for argument and each of them went off to their respective tasks.

  She continued to adjust the bandaging on my head until she was satisfied. Retrieving the capsules from the table, she handed them to me. “Do you want some water?”

  “Yes, please.” My voice sounded shaky to my own ears and I blinked back tears. Tears of pain, tears of shame, and tears of embarrassment. Had this happened to anyone else my age, it wouldn’t have been a big deal. They would have had the reflexes to dodge it. And in the off chance it had hit them, they would heal almost instantly. The fact that I could do neither sliced through my heart.