Thirty-Eight Days

by Len Webster

  Stevie’s eyebrows furrowed; she was doing the math too while Annie held a hand over her mouth, shocked.

  “That means…” Stevie began to say.

  “She got pregnant when Darren was still with me,” Clara exhaled, finishing Stevie’s sentence. Balling her hands to control her emotions, she stepped out of Noel’s protective embrace, his hand quickly restraining her wrist.

  “Think this through, please, Clara,” he begged. Giving Noel a small smile and pulling her wrist free from his grasp, Clara walked towards Elizabeth.

  No holding back. This is it!

  Clara mentally gave herself a pep talk before she came face to face with Elizabeth. “You had sex with my boyfriend and got pregnant! How could you?”

  “I’m sorry, Clara. I couldn't…”

  “You’re pregnant! You had sex with my boyfriend and now you’re pregnant by him. Why would you do that to me?” Clara asked through the tears that fell.

  “I—I… don’t know why I did it,” Elizabeth replied, shaking her head.

  “You don’t know?” Elizabeth shook her head again.

  “Did it feel good? When you were fucking him, did it feel good? Did you even think about me? Or that he was meant to be mine?” Clara’s pain started to subside. Now she was just numb, nothing left inside of her.

  “You took everything from me, Elizabeth. Everything!” Clara watched Elizabeth flinch. “You took my relationship and made it a joke. You slept with and got pregnant by my boyfriend! You took my happily ever after and twisted it!" That’s when Clara froze, connecting it all together.

  They were together for far longer than I thought.

  "When you lost your virginity during mid-semester break, you told me it was some random guy. Was it Darren?”

  Elizabeth breathed in and closed her eyes. “Yes. You were busy at the bakery and you didn’t show up at the beach house. We got drunk… and we had sex that night,” Elizabeth revealed, her face contorted.

  Clara remembered that night. She was working on the “little peach ̓n tea cupcakes” and decided not to go to the beach house for the weekend. She got them together. Two months into their relationship, and Darren had cheated on her. All those months were a façade.

  “Oh, fuck this! Annie, hold my drink!” Stevie yelled, walking towards Clara, Annie only a few steps behind.

  “Don’t fight my battles, Stevie,” Clara warned. Stevie looked surprised, but there was a glint of admiration in her stance.

  “Clara, I really am sorry.”

  But she wouldn't accept Elizabeth’s apology; Elizabeth’s betrayl ran too deep for Clara.

  “Why did you continue? After that night, why did you keep stabbing me in the back and keep sleeping with him?”

  “I don’t know. I was lonely, and I wanted what you had,” Elizabeth replied, her arms wrapping around her stomach tighter.

  The whole year passed before Clara. The day she met Darren, the day she met Elizabeth, the day she introduced them, and the night she caught them. Her heart started to collapse. Because for the first time in months, she remembered who Elizabeth was to her.

  “You were my best friend! Do you have any idea how much pain you put me through?” Clara shouted, her words startling Elizabeth.

  Ignoring the hurt she saw in Elizabeth’s eyes, Clara continued. “I trusted you. You weren’t just some random girl he slept with; you were my friend first!”

  “I know, Clara. I’m sorry. I miss you, and I want you in this baby’s life!”

  Clara’s jaw dropped.

  “You want me to be part of that baby’s life? I have no connection to that baby. That’s you and Darren. You lost me as a friend. I never want to see your face again, Elizabeth,” Clara announced. A weight lifted off her shoulders.

  “You don’t mean that, Clara,” Elizabeth said, shaking her head.

  Clara let out a short laugh. “Of course I do. Like I’d really want to be friends with a backstabbing whore like you. I hope when you look back, you regret what you did. I also hope when you look back, you realise what a worthless bastard Darren really is! If he can cheat on me with you, he can easily cheat on you, too,” Clara hissed, and Elizabeth started to cry. Clara had only one more thing to say before she walked out of the party.

  “When you tell your child about how you met their father. Tell them the truth. Tell them how you stole him from his girlfriend, and that he or she is a product of an affair. But tell them this: his ex-girlfriend doesn’t hold any resentment towards him or her. Because it’s not their fault that his or her parents were selfish and stupid!” Clara explained. Those words would be her final ones to Elizabeth.

  “Clara, honey, wait!” Darren shouted. He ran up to her and fell on his knees, surprising her.

  “Is this son of a bitch for real?” Stevie sneered.

  “What are you doing, Darren?” Clara looked down. She saw him for what a pathetic waste of space he really was. It was as clear as day, and she wished she had seen it much sooner. Those pitiful dark eyes held nothing, and she was beyond thrilled they were over.

  “I don’t want Elizabeth. I don’t want that baby. I don’t want anyone but you! I made a mistake, babe. Please have me back!” he begged, taking her hands in his. Clara could see Noel take a step towards them. They had been the words that came months too late.

  Clara pulled her hand back from Darren’s. “I didn’t sleep with you, so you went for something on the side. You didn’t use protection, so now you’re a father. You didn’t make a mistake. You made a choice! How dare you not want that baby! Don’t blame that innocent baby for what you and Elizabeth did. For the sake of that child, I pray that Elizabeth walks away. You cheating on me, almost ruined me, but I got the better end of the bargain. You getting Elizabeth pregnant severs all ties. It means I can finally move on with my life. You getting Elizabeth pregnant is the best news I have ever heard, because it means I stop wasting my time over you! I hope you have a wonderful life, and I hope you spend it thinking of me and how you lost me!” Clara scolded. Contentment ran through her body. She was finally free.

  Darren’s face tensed. He got off his knees and stood before her. “You know what, Clara, I’m glad I cheated on you! Not with Elizabeth, but with others! There were so many others!” he yelled.

  “I hope you got yourself tested because you seem to be a careless bastard!” Clara bit back.

  The anger in Darren’s eyes intensified. He wasn’t happy that she wasn’t withering in pain over him. Clara genuinely smiled and turned to walk away, the final steps to freedom.

  “I’m glad I didn’t wait for an uptight virgin like you! I was only with you so I could take your virginity! Why do you think I chased you? I wanted to know what made you so fucking special! Well, guess what, you aren’t fucking special, Clara! You’re a fucking tease, and at least I get to have sex whenever I want. I didn’t feel bad when I cheated on you. I was just hoping I could keep doing it until I slept with you. Then I’d have dumped your sorry, used-up ass!” Darren yelled. Clara stopped, rage burning in her.

  Her eyes met Noel’s, his fists ready for another taking. Clara placed her hands on Noel’s chest and shook her head. A smile touched her lips, and Noel frowned at her.

  “You’re right! I’m so glad you cheated on me, too!” Clara shouted before she balled her fist, turned around, and punched Darren’s nose. Clara ignored the pain in her right hand as she watched him stumble backwards holding his bloody nose. Clara smiled in satisfaction as he fell to the ground. This was something she should have done a long time ago. A few gasps and howls could be heard, and Clara hovered over Darren.

  “For the rest of your life, I want you to think of this. The night I saw you and Elizabeth having sex was the night I was going to give you my virginity. So congratulations, Darren, you were this close!” Clara jeered. She stood up straight, seeing shocked and smiling faces. Her hand started to pulse in pain, but she liked it. It was physical pain. Not the emotional kind she knew so very well.

  Sh
e turned and faced Elizabeth. “Congratulations on your pregnancy. You get to deal with him for the rest of your life.” Looking at Darren, she saw the tears fall down his cheeks.

  Did I honestly waste almost a year of my life with this idiot?

  As happy as she felt, the high of it started to fall. The acid laced in Darren’s words started to haunt her. Clara shook her head, turned, and walked toward the exit before the tears tainted her victory.

  “Clara!” Noel shouted after her. Ignoring him, she pushed past the other guests and headed for the door, needing air. Once outside, the air was cooler and the wind started to pick up.

  Running down the pier, she headed for the car park. She searched for her car until she realised she carpooled with Stevie and Annie. She sighed, knowing she’d have to hail a taxi. Clara walked farther away from the pier until she hit the entrance of the marina. Elm trees lined both sides of the concreted path. She wished it was autumn, and the wind blew a little harder. She wanted to feel the leaves dance around her as they flew with the breeze. Unfortunately, spring was ending, and no leaves would cascade down from the branches. Instead she stood in the middle of the path and looked up at the sky to see the stars through the gaps in the tree branche.

  The adrenaline started to wear off and the pain in her knuckles began to inflame. She looked down at her fist; her knuckles were a vibrant red, the swelling started to take shape, and she saw the break in her skin.

  “Alex would be proud.” She chuckled to herself before letting out a sigh. It was finally over. She could move on and not be held down by either Darren or Elizabeth.

  “I’m proud of you, too,” Clara heard behind her. Just the sound of his sweet voice called to her. To her surprise, the anger she held towards him no longer existed. At the end of the day, they weren’t together, and it shouldn’t have cut her as deep as it did.

  “Here,” he said before his jacket wrapped around her. Clara found herself snuggling into it and his arms. There was something in her that told her just how much she belonged to him. The spicy almost woodsy smell was truly unique to him, and made her weak.

  “Thank you.” She turned and smiled at him. She swore the light from the moon reflected in his gentle emerald eyes. Noel’s hands were at her cheeks, wiping away the tears she hadn’t realised she shed.

  “I don’t know why I’m crying.”

  Noel held her face in his hands and looked into her eyes. “You have no idea how much I wanted to hurt him. But when you took him out like that, I swear words couldn’t describe just how amazed I was,” Noel softly reassured.

  “I’m scared, Noel,” Clara confessed.

  “You have me, Clara. You can tell me.” There was a gentle brush of his thumbs on her cheeks. Clara took a deep breath and tried to blink away the tears that wouldn’t fall.

  “I’m scared the world will forget me,” she muttered. It pained her to say it, but it was something she couldn’t hold back on.

  “What do you mean?” he asked.

  She could feel herself shake as the adrenaline wore off.

  I was forgettable. There were other women than just Elizabeth.

  “I’m scared the world will forget me. Just like Darren did. He never cared once about me, and he had completely removed me from his life. I’m not even worth being remembered as the girl he cheated on. If he couldn’t remember me, then how can the rest of the world? I’m nothing but forgettable.” She took in a desperate breath of air as her tears skimmed her face.

  The last word she spoke caused Noel to take a step back from her. Clara’s heart ached at his distance. She feared he’d leave her and that was something she was more scared of than being forgotten.

  “That’s not true.” Pain filled Noel’s eyes.

  “It’s not true? You completely forgot about me.” Clara exhaled. She should be thanking him for being there, but she couldn’t hold her tongue.

  “I did the exact opposite,” he stated as he took two steps and stood before her.

  “The exact opposite?”

  “I slept with Valerie in hopes I could stop thinking about you. I’m so sorry that I slept with her. I know that I did it wrong. I couldn’t stop wanting to remember you. Remember every inch of you: your laugh, your smile, and especially the way your cheeks blush when I look at you. But seeing how much I hurt you, and at the pub last night, I realised maybe pushing you away was wrong.

  “I don’t care about anyone else. No one else could ever make me forget about you. I’m laying it all out on the table, Clara. I don’t want to walk away. Not now. Not ever. I want an us, and I’m hell-bent on making this right. All I ask is one chance.”

  She blinked at him, completely shocked by his words. But her heart leaped from its coma-like state and opened up to him. She felt herself wrap around his simple confession.

  Every word she believed; every word warmed parts of her that went untouched for a long time. He squeezed her hand, but she didn’t feel it. Inside of her, her chest ached. His intentions had her doubtful and unsure.

  Noel took both of her hands and placed them on his chest, his hands covering hers. Hers stayed over his heart and she felt it beat erratically.

  "You feel that, Clara?" She wasn't looking at him. Instead she stared at her hand on his chest.

  "Noel," she breathed as she looked up, their eyes meeting and holding. He was looking at her differently.

  "Do you, Clara?" he asked in small breaths. His touch was like shots of electricity running through her, his life in her hands. He watched her as she closed her eyes tightly. There was so much in his simple question, and she knew she had to risk it, because she knew it’s all she’d ever want.

  Yes.

  Clara simply nodded her head. She was listening to her heart. It was telling her to pay attention, or she’d miss out on what she could have been searching for.

  Noel took in a sharp breath of air. "That's…" He tightened his squeeze on Clara’s hands. She could tell he was making sure she felt it.

  "That's how you make me feel, Clara Lawrence. You make my heart beat in such a way that I'm scared of this feeling. All I know is that you are the only person that has ever made me feel this way. Break and mend it at the same time, make my breathing feel inadequate. You, Clara, make me want more. I don’t care. I want to be with you. I want to be able to spend every night with you in my arms and watch you wake up next to me. I’m asking for a lot, but I want you to know that I’m breaking free from every single thing that confines me and holds me back from caring about you. Because it will only ever be you,” Noel revealed. She watched the vulnerability in those green eyes.

  Would I risk it all for Nolan Parker?

  She looked into Noel’s eyes. The honesty in them had her believing. Was she ready to leave herself so exposed? She had just ended one chapter when it came to love. But unlike her relationship with Darren, it felt real with Noel. It felt like she had to take this chance. She had to take the risk.

  But how many days do we have left?

  Clara realised she’d been quite for far too long, but she was processing all the outcomes of his words. She’d address all of her worries when they arrived. Until then she couldn’t deny what her heart wanted and that was the man in front of her.

  "Kiss me," she said softly, almost like a whisper. “And don't you dare hold back," she instructed.

  Noel removed Clara’s hands from his and cupped her face. “First, I want to know that you’ll risk your heart for me.”

  This was as close as she could emotionally get to Noel without getting burned. Her heart thumped in such an intense motion that it scared her. But she couldn't turn her back, not now. Not when she knew what she wanted.

  “Yes, as long as you don’t forget me, then I’ll risk it all for us. I’m willing to risk all my days to be with you,” Clara confessed. She watched a smile touch his lips and hope twinkled brightly in his beautiful green eyes.

  “I promise. I’ll spend every day always remembering every inch of you,” Noel breath
ed out before his lips found hers. She just hoped those days amounted to an infinite quota.

  She’s it.

  That’s what he got out of their first proper kiss—one that wasn’t spontaneous, or one that didn’t catch the other off guard. Noel was left panting from just the touch of her lips alone. Clara had stolen his breath with one simple kiss. Not that he cared; he was willing to give her anything and everything. She was now the centre of his universe; Clara consumed his world, and he wasn’t prepared to ever give her up.

  Noel removed his hands from Clara’s face and rested his palms on her neck. He just needed to look at her. He promised he’d never forget her, and remembering the features of her face was just the start. He watched as Clara’s cheeks reddened. Her golden brown eyes brightened and held a glaze. Her lips were a deep colour of red and swollen from their kiss. He liked the effect he had on her.

  He took in the sight of her in his jacket; it was far too big for her small and slender frame, but it increased the possessiveness in him. As he held Clara, he could see the resistance in her eyes, and it frightened him to hell. He feared he was going to lose her, and she didn’t get the concept of his confession for her.

  “Question number four,” he announced. Clara’s eyebrows furrowed. The cuteness in her confusion made him laugh. He bent his head down and kissed the lines between her brows. She laughed under his lips. It was truly sweet and beautiful.

  “Number four?” she asked when he removed his lips and looked at her. Her frown didn’t match the curiosity in her eyes.

  “Twenty-one questions, Clara. I’m asking for number four.” A sinful smirk crossed her face. She raised her eyebrow, inviting him for the challenge. Noel took her hand and squeezed it.

  “Ouhh!”

  “Shit! I’m so sorry, Clara.” Noel looked down at Clara’s shaking hand. Blood started to seep through her broken skin. He wiped it off with the end of his cuff, her blood staining his light blue dress shirt.