The Sage After Rain A love story

by Jaclyn Hawkes

  He took out his binoculars to glass the direction he would be taking the lines the next day. The route was becoming more and more rugged and there were times Matt wondered if he was going to have to find a way to string them from the air. Some of those little canyons and cliffs looked impossible.

  As he stood there in the last light of the day, he thought he heard whistling. He turned to see if he could hear better and realized that there was a sheepherder and a herd of sheep coming up the valley from the east on the other side of the creek. He watched for a minute in fascination as the herder on the black Appy whistled and directed the dogs with hand signals and the dogs in turn moved the whole herd that flowed over the hills and washes like a living wave.

  It was incredible to see the precision and teamwork of the herder and dogs. They took the herd down to water and then as it got darker, he could see the herd move like a gray cloud back up the hill and begin to bunch and lay down in a group. He could barely make out the black sheep dogs circling around and around them as they settled in.

  Once when he'd been hunting high in the mountains above Steamboat Springs he'd come upon a sheepherder's trailer. It was set up in one of the most beautiful valleys he had ever seen, and the peace of the setting felt like it had touched his very soul. He'd been in the middle of the hardest quarter of all of his college, and that sheepherder's life had looked truly tempting. That was about as down to earth and unworldly as you could get.

  The helicopter finally came to pick him up and as they lifted off, Matt looked back down toward the sheep and noticed the first small flickers of a campfire that soon blazed brightly. The glow reflected off the sheep camp trailer he hadn't been able to see from his vantage point on the hill. What would it be like to settle down for the night in the middle of no where with no one?

  When he got back to the motel to find the other members of the team already about half soused in the little adjoining bar, that lonely nomadic lifestyle was looking better and better. They waved him over as he came in the front door of the motel with his load of gear. Trying to keep already strained relations as amiable as possible, he walked over to their table. There were the three guys and four women with them who were the roughest looking females he had ever seen.

  His boss hailed him with a long necked bottle. "Hey, Maylon. Drop that load and come sit with us for awhile!" He spoke with the barest hint of a slur. "These ladies want to know all about what we do." He gave a great guffaw. "Since you're the one doing all the work, you ought to tell them your side of the story." He leaned over to the women and said, "Matt's actually the computer guy, but since we have better things to do . . . Hah!" He slapped the table like he'd said the funniest thing ever. "He's helping out. Aren't you, Matt? Come have a brew with us, buddy, what do ya say? You can meet these lovely, local ladies." He waved a hand.

  "Thanks, Hyatt, but I'm bushed. I'm gonna shower and eat and hit the hay. We've got another big day ahead of us tomorrow." He optimistically tried to give them a subtle hint with the "we", and picked up the backpack he had set down at his feet.

  "That's too bad, isn't it girls? Because we have a big night ahead of us first!" Hyatt gave another belly laugh that ended with a belch they all busted up over. Matt gave a bemused grin and turned around to head up to the room. Lovely ladies and girls? He shook his head again. Those probably weren't the terms he'd have used personally, but whatever. He wondered if Hyatt ever bothered to remember he had a wife and kids back home in the city.

  Matt showered and was back down in the little cafe off the lobby trying to saw his way through a gristly steak when he saw them all go up the stairs. All of them except one of the women. She saw Matt and came across to his table. "Hey, cowboy. We missed you at our little party. Why don't you come on up? We're going to be playing some cards."

  He finished his bite. "Uh, I don't think so. Not tonight. I'm terrible at cards. Go ahead without me." He indicated his laptop across the table. "When I'm through eating I have to process some data anyway, but thanks." She headed on up the stairs and he went back to his meal, hoping the "ladies" didn't end up staying over.

  When he finally made his way up an hour later, he opened the door to realize pretty much instantly that they were playing strip poker. Oh, brother! He set his laptop down in the open doorway and went inside far enough to retrieve his own bag and then headed back outside. He went back down to the front desk and arranged for another room at his own expense. There went more money lost on this mess.

  When he finally laid down that night, he decided the peace and privacy and better atmosphere was worth the money and that his attitude stunk. He wasn't typically this negative, but his thoughts had been in the basement all week. They'd been a little off when he'd gone back to Steamboat last week to process data on the mainframe, but they'd taken a turn for the worse with that little episode with Stacy, and had all gone down hill from there. His negative attitude was exacerbating a bad situation into a worse one. He reminded himself to choose happy. He knew he could have a better attitude no matter what was going on with this contract or his personal life.

  He looked at the Gideon Bible on the nightstand, and made a decision. He was going to start right now putting his life back in order as much as he possibly could and then having a better attitude about the things he couldn't change. He needed to fix this deal with Stacy, one way or the other, and made a mental note to make a trip home here as soon as he could to start patching things up. He didn't believe in living together before marriage. He didn't. Exactly how he'd gotten into this situation still wasn't clear, but he was in it and he needed to make things right and get back to where he was living within his value system.

  If he couldn't get things to the point that he thought he could marry Stacy then he needed to move out or move her out, but he needed to get it done now. He dreaded going to his own apartment. Moreover, he needed to feel like he could pray. He needed that help and companionship in his life. And he didn't really think God wanted to visit with him right now in the situation he was in.

  If there was one good thing to come out of this time of dealing with Stacy and this project, it was that he was going to quit dabbling in the important things and buckle down. His parents had taught him he should have priorities and that God should be the biggest one because everything else was founded on Him, But of course he had had to rebel. Just enough to make a huge mess of his life.

  He hadn't even bothered wondering if the others would show up the next day and put in a grueling day by himself again. He saw the sheepherder a couple of times and once when he was close enough, he realized it was a woman. That shocked him. None of the women he knew could have lived out here by themselves like that.

  He was even more surprised when he was glassing that afternoon to figure out his next day’s plan and caught a closer up view of her. She was beautiful! Not just a little beautiful, but exquisitely beautiful. Drop dead beautiful.

  It was the same woman he’d seen that day at the service station who had been so incredibly striking that he’d not been able to put her face out of his mind. He put down the field glasses and dug in his pack for his camera. That face had to be immortalized didn't it? He went to put on a bigger lens and then stopped himself. Was that like a form of voyeurism or something? To want to photograph a girl he didn't know? And what about Stacy? Somehow it didn't seem loyal to be taking another woman's picture.

  He put the camera away, but the fascination with the sheepherder increased throughout the day, and when she sat her horse on the ridge in the purple haze of dusk as she watered the sheep, he couldn't help himself. That was definitely the purest form of art. He dug out his camera and attached a big lens and snapped several photos of her that she wasn't even aware of. How had a girl who looked like that escaped being caught up by some modeling agency or movie tycoon? The Indian men were brain dead to let her end up in a sheep camp in the middle of the desert.

  When he got back to the motel, he considered that it was Saturday evening. The helicopter would
n't be around tomorrow and rather than hang out working on Sunday, he decided to make a fast trip home to see if he could patch it up some with Stacy. He drove faster than he probably should have, a habit he had gotten into on this project, and arrived at his apartment complex a little before eleven thirty. He saw Stacy's car in the parking lot and was glad he'd caught her home. He'd about half expected her to be gone out somewhere with Jenna.

  Unlocking the door, he stepped in and tossed his keys on the counter as he called her name. He got no answer, but the stereo was on in the living room and he knew she probably couldn't hear him and went in search of her.

  He found her.

  He'd pushed open the bedroom door that stood ajar and got the shock of his life! Justin was supposed to be his best friend! And in his own place, no less!

  He just stood there for a second, too stunned to even react. Finally, he came to his senses enough to turn back around and pull the door closed behind him as he strode to the counter and grabbed his keys and let himself back out of his own apartment. He was in his Jeep and driving before he had a clue where he was driving to, so he just drove around Steamboat Springs for a while, thinking, trying to figure things out. He'd wanted to get things with Stacy settled. Well, they were.

  He realized with a tinge of guilt that he was infinitely relieved. Justin was another matter. He wanted to go hit the guy just for the principal of the thing. Although the more he thought about it, the more he realized Justin had been the worst thing that had ever happened to him. It was when he started hanging out with Justin that his behavior and his life had started to go south. It wasn't Justin's fault. He was honest enough to admit that he had been responsible for his own decisions, but Justin had certainly encouraged him to do things he wouldn't necessarily have done without the egging on.

  His mother would be thrilled to know that both Justin and Stacy were out of his life for good. He thought about his mom. He hadn't been to see her in a couple months because he was too ashamed to face her when he was living with someone. And he'd been busy, but that wasn't the reason and he knew it. It was after midnight, but he headed toward his parents' anyway. He could crash in one of the empty hunting cabins for the night, and spend some time with them in the morning before he headed back to the desert, refreshingly unencumbered by a live-in girl friend.

  As he drove through the second set of locked gates on his parents' hunting preserve, he was relieved they hadn't changed the codes since he'd last been here. He drove into the compound and was just about to drive into the guest cabin area when he saw someone sitting on the porch swing of his mom's house. Pulling around in front, he shut off the Jeep and took the steps two at a time.

  It was his mother in the porch swing, slowly rocking back and forth, the slight breeze blowing the skirt of her night gown and robe, and he bent down to hug her. It was just going to be a hug, but it ended up being a big hug that lasted for a while. Even though he knew he’d let her down a thousand times in his life, he never wondered if she loved him. Finally, he sat down next to her on the swing.

  "Hi, Mom. What are you doing out here at this time of night?"

  Her infinite, sweet patience was there in her voice, "Hi, Matt. I just couldn't sleep for some reason. Long time no see."

  He was honest with her, "I know, and I'm sorry. I was living with Stacy and couldn't face you."

  She just kept rocking as she said, "I know, honey. But you should know. I was disappointed in you living with her, but that didn't make me love you any less."

  Feeling absolutely penitent, he said, "I know. Still, I couldn't face you."

  "Did you say was living with Stacy? Are you not anymore?"

  He shook his head in the dark. "Nope." Wondering how to put why he wasn't with her any more delicately, he finally just said right out, "I drove home tonight to try to find a way to get along better, and I accidentally busted her in bed with Justin."

  There was a pause before his mom spoke, "Oh . . . Well, okay then." After another second she said, "You don't sound very upset about it."

  Almost a little hesitantly, he admitted, "Honestly, I feel so relieved about it that I feel guilty. The truth is, I’m not even sure how she ended living there. I'd gotten so I didn't want to go to my apartment and Justin was a bad influence on me anyway. I'd come home with the idea to either find a way to make it work, which I really didn't want to do at all, or move out. They took all the stress out of deciding. Now, I just regret ever getting involved in the first place."

  She looked over at him, but he couldn't see her face well in the dark. "I regret that too, Matt, but I always knew you'd figure it out. You're a good person, just a hard headed one from time to time."

  He reached over and took her hand. "I don't deserve you, Mom. I'm sorry I disappoint you sometimes. Why couldn't you sleep?"

  When she answered he could hear the tired smile in her voice, "Oh, I was just worrying and praying for my second child. I hadn’t heard from him in a while."

  "Honestly?"

  "Honestly.” After another few minutes she asked, “What are you going to do now?"

  "Go back out to my project site and try to somehow find a miracle to pull it out. It's not going all that well. The guys who are supposed to be doing the field work have completely baled. They spend their days sleeping off the night before instead of stringing cable."

  "Can't you put in a call to the boss?"

  "One of them is the boss."

  "Can you go over his head?"

  "Not without admitting to the company that contracted for us to do this that it's not going well."

  "Hmm. I'm sorry; I don't know what to tell you. How are you doing? Other than work and Stacy and Justin?"

  "Good. Well, better. Work's a mess. And until tonight my personal life was dismal. But other than that I'm great."

  "The desert must agree with you. You look good."

  He chuckled. "It's pitch dark out here, Mom. How can you even tell how I look?"

  "I saw you in the yard light as you went by. I think you look good. Now that you're single again, the girls are going to be much happier. Are there any girls in the desert?"

  "The only thing I've seen out there that even comes close to being considered a girl is an Indian sheepherder." He didn't tell her she was an exquisitely beautiful sheepherder.

  "How long until you're through with this one?"

  "A couple of months, unless it goes completely south. In that case soon."

  "Mmm. Are you going to come see your dad and me more now that you're done with Stacy?"

  He chuckled and squeezed her hand. "Yes. I promise, but I'm still working like a hundred and ten hour weeks, so don't expect me too much."

  "What are you doing tomorrow?"

  "I haven't gotten that far yet. If Stacy is working then I had better go move out while I'm here in town. If not, I'll probably hang out for a while here if you don't mind and then head west."

  "You can stay here as long as you want, you know that. And I'll go help you move if she's at work. Heck, I'll bring balloons and confetti!"

  He laughed. "I could see you doing that, actually. What are you doing tomorrow?"

  "The usual. Church in the morning, Sunday dinner at one or two, and a long, lazy nap after that while you guys clean up the mess. There's a standing invitation to all of those, in case you've forgotten while you've been AWOL. Since you're reinventing your life, do you want to come to church with us?"

  "Actually, I would like to. I've kind of been missing it, but there's no way I can face the people there or even God until I have a little better handle on some things. I'm not really church going material right now."

  She patted his hand that still held hers. "Matthew. You have it all backwards. Church isn't a place where perfect people get together to visit. It's a place where imperfect people meet to learn about the Savior and encourage each other to do better."

  He’d never thought of it that way. "You may be right, but I still don't think I belong there yet. Maybe in a whi
le. Maybe you could just pray for me while you're there."

  In her sweet, mellow voice she reminded him, "I pray for you every single day, Matt. Several times a day."

  "Really?"

  "Of course."

  "Thanks, Mom. I appreciate that."

  ****

  It had been a truly good Sunday for a change. Stacy had been at work, so he and both of his parents actually went to pack up his stuff. His mom honestly did show up with balloons and confetti and he laughed harder than he had in forever. She was as entertaining as she had always been, and he hadn't realized how much he'd missed them.

  He had already fulfilled his contract, so he was able to just tell his manager that he was leaving after he'd checked the apartment for damage and cleaning. Matt explained about Stacy still being there and the manager assured him she would either have to sign a rental contract and pay up or he would have the sheriff come and evict her. Matt tried to be empathetic, but he didn't feel the least bit sorry for her.

  They packed up all his stuff and furniture, but when he got to the bed, he didn't even want it and said, "I think I'll just leave it. Let it haunt them."

  His mother was more practical. "I can understand that, Matt, but at least give it to the homeless shelter or someone who needs it. It's a valuable bed. Don't reward her with it."

  She was right, and they loaded it up too. He closed the door behind them without even a note and felt like he was making a new start.

  They put all his stuff in storage and after doing the dishes like she'd joked, he loaded his Jeep, hugged her for a long minute, shook his dad's hand and hit the road again, more light hearted than he'd felt in months.

  Chapter 7