The Sage After Rain A love story

by Jaclyn Hawkes

  Matt came out of the shower and headed for his camp, but then pulled up sharply when he saw the little car in front of her trailer. He must have recognized it, because he turned back around to her camp. He met Taya's eyes for a second as she nodded. "You have company." It was some consolation that he definitely didn't look very happy about it.

  He walked over to the car and opened the driver's side door. "Stacy. What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

  There was a hint of a whine when she replied, "I've tried to call you like a hundred times, and couldn't get hold of you. So finally, I called your work and they gave me your boss's home phone number and his wife told me the motel she thought you were staying in. You weren't there, and your boss didn't know where you were so he told me to try the helicopter pilot. He's the one that told me to try by the sheep camp. How are you anyway?"

  "I'm good, Stacy. Did it ever occur to you that I didn't answer your calls for a reason?" Matt glanced up at Taya still lazily swinging with her plate of left overs. "Come on over to my camp, so we can let her eat her dinner." He turned and headed toward his tent and the blonde gave Taya one more crusty and followed him. Taya could hear them as well as she knew he had been able to hear her and Zan the night before. "Stacy, I didn't answer your calls because I didn't particularly want to talk to you. Why are you here?"

  "Look, Matt. I know what you saw was bad." Matt made a sound of utter disgust. "I was a fool, and I realize now. I've come to beg your forgiveness and tell you that I'll do anything for one more chance with you. Honest. I love you, Matt, and I can't even face living without you. These last few weeks have been too miserable to even say." She took a couple of steps toward him and he backed up.

  "Stacy, I'm sorry to be abrupt, but I'm much happier, and I have no intention whatsoever of doing anything with you again. It was miserable long before that night, and after that . . . There's just no way. Go back to Justin and be happy. You're far more suited to him than me. You guys are perfect for each other."

  "No. We're not. You're perfect for me. I realize that now. I'm sorry that I had to find out the hard way. Please don't be so mean. I've driven all this way to be with you."

  "I'm not trying to be mean, Stacy, but it's over. I had driven all that way to see you too. Remember? But even then it was over. We wouldn't be together now even if I hadn't busted you. We're not even friends anymore. We have nothing in common. We never did, it just took me awhile to figure that out."

  "Of course we do, Matt. We had so much fun together."

  "Go home, Stacy. There's no point in having this conversation." He went to turn away and she stomped her foot in anger and swore at him. At that he turned right back around and asked her, "You've been drinking this afternoon, haven't you?"

  "If it's over, what do you care if I drink? Yes. I've had a couple. With your boss while I was waiting for you to come home. So what! It's not a big deal. You don't care anyway, remember?"

  "Stace, we've been over this before. It is a big deal if you get behind the wheel when you've been drinking. Give me your keys."

  "Oh, now you want me to stay with you. Fine, here are my keys. Now, can we talk about getting back together?"

  "We're never going to get back together, Stacy. Wait here."

  Matt came back across to Taya, looking extremely apologetic. "Taya, can I ask you a huge favor? She's been drinking. I'm going to take her back to the motel to get rid of her. Would you come and pick me up in my Jeep? Sorry about this."

  "Sure. Just tell me when."

  "Right now. Let's just get it over with. I have a ton of work to do tonight. I shouldn't have been playing my guitar last night."

  Stacy wasn't very happy when she understood what the plan was, but she didn't have much choice. Taya could hear her swearing at him as he climbed in and moved the seat back. She drove the fifteen minutes to the motel, wondering what had happened between the two of them and enjoying the fact that his Jeep smelled like he had smelled the other night when she had stood behind him during the mouse incident. It was aftershave and sagebrush and something else that was him.

  In the parking lot of the motel Stacy was still half pleading with him and half defiant and Matt was practically ordering her to get a room and sleep it off. Finally, he got into the Jeep in spite of her attitude and Taya pulled out of the parking lot, leaving Stacy behind them swearing. Taya felt bad for him for ever having had to deal with her, and because she knew he was embarrassed right now. As she reached for the radio, she said, "If it's any consolation, my last relationship makes her look saintly."

  "Is that possible?"

  "Oh, yeah."

  "That's hard to believe as level headed as you are."

  "You live and learn, I guess." She left it at that and turned the radio on. Back at camp they both worked late.

  Matt had placed an ad in the local paper for some help to string his lines across the desert, but after more than a week, he had gotten no response and decided to place one in the larger county paper. In the mean time, Taya suggested she see if there were any of the Indian youth who would be willing to come and help him out. She had been able to find two young men who were seventeen or eighteen who could help him between hay cuttings and they would come to camp early in the morning to catch the helicopter with him.

  Sunday morning he went to church with her again and they had a good conversation about it in the car on the way home, but other than that, they hardly saw each other either all week.

  Matt had thrown himself into his new contract with a passion and was gone in the dark and didn't get home until after dark again. Taya had left him dinner four nights and he had left her some brownies he’d bought when he went to pick up the gear from the motel before it disappeared. By the time she dropped by his campfire late one night to tell him she was flying out the next day for a few days, they had only waved to each other for days.

  Chapter 14

  Zan came by to pick her up and she was glad he had talked her into letting him come with her back to Maryland because from the start, the trip was intimidating. She had FBI protection enroute and while she was there, and while the serious men and women in dark suits were reassuring, she also felt like she was a prisoner. She did her best to remain stoic during the trial, and was okay seeing John again, but seeing her parents there broke her heart into pieces. The only way she even made it through was to not look at them.

  She stayed until they were sure they no longer needed her testimony and then they flew her back out without her even waiting to see what the verdict was and she was fine with that. She had done the best she could to see that justice was done and had to let it go emotionally and give the whole thing over to the system. She was convinced John was only going to keep trying to have everything thrown out on technicalities or appeal everything over and over anyway.

  She and Zan had an incredibly involved travel plan both ways and by the time he dropped her back off at her trailer four days after she had left, she was tired to the bone. It was after ten o'clock at night, but she went over to Matt's tent to talk to him anyway.

  She must have looked just how she felt, because he got right up and walked over to her, studied her for a moment and the leaned to hug her. After a second, he pulled back to look at her. "You okay?"

  She nodded. "I'm okay now. It's way nice to be home."

  He pulled her back into his arms. "You ever gonna tell me where you had to go so mysteriously?"

  She sighed and decided to be honest. "I had to go testify against my ex-fiancé' in an assault trial."

  He looked at her warily for a second. "Who did he assault?"

  She did her best to sound matter-of-fact. "Me."

  Quietly, he said, "I'm sorry. You weren't kidding when you said he made Stacy look good. Was there anyone there when it happened?"

  It took her a second to answer, "My parents were there."

  "So at least they stopped him and you had witnesses then."

  She shook her head sadly. "No. They walked out a
nd left me bleeding on his office floor and refused to give any testimony at all." He pulled back to look at her shocked and she said, "They really liked my fiancé'." She was afraid she was going to cry and pulled out of his arms. "I'm tired. I'm going to go home and go to bed. Where is that other herder camped?"

  Matt nodded to the back of the trailer, and then stopped her. "Are you sure you have to go to bed right now? Is there any way you could just sit with me and talk to me for a minute?"

  "Do we have to talk? Could you play your guitar?"

  "Sure."

  "Can you bring it over to my swing?"

  "Sure. I'll be right there. Go put on some sweats or something that will make you relax."

  A few minutes later, he sat next to her and played and she did her best not to let him see the tears that overflowed her tired eyes from time to time and slid down her cheeks. Finally, he stopped playing, turned to her and put an arm around her and pulled her into a hug and held her. When she finally pulled back and wiped her face on her sleeve, he let her go and went back to his guitar. Crying had helped and she leaned back in the swing with a sigh. He turned to her. "Feel better?"

  "Much, thanks. Sorry for being such a baby."

  "It's okay. Can I ask you a question?" She nodded. "Are you sad about the fiancé' or your parents?"

  "Definitely not the fiancé'. Why?"

  He shook his head. "I just wondered." He went back to playing again and she took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She had needed this. He was the perfect therapy for a sad heart.

  ****

  The next day was Sunday and this time when he showed up for church with her he was in a beautiful suit. She looked up at him and smiled. "Dang, Matt, you clean up nice!"

  "Thanks. I always felt a little like the ugly stepsister when you looked so good, so I stopped home and picked up some more clothes. You look nice this morning. Are you any happier?"

  "Yes, thanks to you. Thank you for not letting me go to bed sad."

  "You're welcome. I only have one sister and my mom, but that was enough to figure out that sometimes crying does help. I'll never understand it, but I've seen it work. Was he convicted at the trial? I never got around to asking.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t even know. I didn’t stay around to find out. I’ve tried so hard to forgive and forget that night that I had to just do what I felt was right and then give the rest of it over to God.”

  He looked at her in surprise for a second and then seemed to understand that and changed the subject. “What town are we going to today?"

  "Let's go south. How about Halloran? We haven't been there before."

  "Did you ever tell me why we can't just go to one place?"

  "No, I never did. But I should. You should have the chance to decide if you want to get clear away from me or not. It's kind of a long story. You know the fiancé' I wasn't sad about last night? Well, he's sort of a congressman. When he was arrested for assault, it just happened to be at the political fundraiser I was supposed to be attending with him that night. It was quite well publicized."

  Matt turned to stare at her. "That was you?" She nodded. "Back east somewhere, right?"

  "Maryland. Smack in the center of D.C. Anyway, when the police came to his office where I was at the time, they took some things as evidence that had my blood on them that ended up making him be indicted for several other things. Corruption kinds of things with some nasty people. I didn't realize what was going on at the time, but I had seen some things that helped the police come up with more incriminating evidence.

  “Long story short. There are some people who stand to lose a great deal of money if he isn't re-elected. Keeping me from testifying would help that re-election bid. The two men who came to my camp that first night are connected to John Channing. Somehow they've found out approximately where I am, but they're not sure. Just the fact that no one would believe I'm here is the main thing that's keeping them away. That's why the different churches. We still don't know how they thought of western Colorado, but I'm trying not to be too obviously in any one place. I actually, probably ought to be in the witness protection program, but it seemed like a better idea to me to simply fall completely off the earth into a sheep camp.”

  She paused and gave an almost inaudible sigh. “Incidentally. one of the other people who were indicted was my father. He's a lobbyist back there. I'm not sure what the connection between him and John is, but it's much stronger than my parents' connection to me. That's the part in all of this that is so hurtful. They walked out that night and left me lying on his office floor bleeding and headed for emergency surgery to put my hand back together.”

  He winced and she continued, "Zan's family has been wonderful to me. His sister is my best friend from high school and college. They've helped me disappear as much as possible. But sooner or later they'll find me and I'll have to find another place to hide. I'm telling you all of this because I could be putting you in danger too. You can go back to the motel if you need to. I'll understand."

  As she wound down, he turned and looked at her again. "That's the ugly thing that happened to your hand."

  She sighed. "Yeah. That's the ugly thing that happened. All over the fact that I wouldn't go to his fundraiser in a strapless dress without a jacket."

  He was shocked. "You're kidding."

  "Well, something else had to be bothering him too. I'd never seen him so much as raise his voice, let alone hit someone like that. But when I refused to take off the jacket it pretty well ticked him off."

  "Pretty well. What did he do to your hand? Can I ask?"

  "The hand being mangled was because I was wearing this obscene eight carat diamond solitaire that got caught in my beaded gown and I landed on it wrong. It broke the diamond right off the ring and it never has been found by anyone willing to admit it. It disappeared that night. That's another reason John wants to find me. He thinks I walked with the diamond I tried to talk him out of in the first place."

  "How did a girl as honest and good as you get involved with someone like John Channing?"

  She paused for a minute. "I don't know, truthfully. I had no idea what was going on until right at the end. A week or two before all of this happened I had mentioned to my mother that I was thinking of breaking off the engagement and going on a mission. She totally freaked. But even then I was questioning if being a congressman's wife was what I truly wanted. Now I know it's not, but there in the thick of things it didn't seem like that bad of an idea. I knew I wasn't in love with him, but at the time I thought that would be okay."

  He looked over at her in surprise. "Why would you consent to marry someone you weren't in love with? That doesn't seem like you either."

  "Well, I'm twenty-four years old and have never felt all that strongly about anyone. Sometimes I wonder if I'm just not wired to fall in love. Wouldn't I have done it by now if I was?"

  He looked horrified. "Taya! You'd be better off staying single than marrying someone you weren't head over heels with. What were you thinking?"

  "I know that now. If you want to know the truth, at the time I was thinking I wanted a family even if I was never going to do the head over heels thing. Staying single is one thing. Never being a mother is another."

  He looked across the car at her like she'd lost her mind, and shook his head. "And you were going to have this not in love family in metro D.C.? You never cease to surprise me. You've done it again."

  "Lay off, Matt, or I'll hassle you about having a girlfriend who's all of two inches deep. I have the right to my own mistakes. I was honestly always trying to make good decisions. I just failed a lot. It makes for wisdom, okay? By the time I'm ninety two I'll have this life thing down pat. Until then, you're on your own as far as cornering good judgment. I'll be the first to admit to being a failure. I'm learning. Slowly. At least he hit me before we were married and had kids. That's the good thing in all of this."

  "There is that. When is the next trial?"

  "Supposedly in October
, unless his attorneys can pull something. I was still in surgery that night when they started to whine about technicalities."

  "How long do you have to wear the brace?"

  "Another month or two. Then more physical therapy."

  "Does it still hurt?"

  "The hand injury or being left laying on the floor bleeding?"

  "Being left will probably always hurt. I was asking about the hand."

  "Only when I'm overly tired or if I've done too much with it. I used to be able to keyboard about three times faster than I can now."

  "What does a sheepherder need to keyboard fast for?"

  "Um, well, since I'm being all confessional here this morning. I'm a structural engineer. That's what I do on the laptop while you're doing your stuff."

  This time he stared at her long enough that she pointed back toward the road. "Uh, Matt."

  "You've been engineering nights while I work? Holy Cannoli girl! Why do you hide things like that? Although it only took me about thirty seconds to figure out you weren't an Indian sheepherder."

  She tried to defend herself. "At first I didn't know you. I didn't want to reveal enough about me to make anyone start to wonder why I'm here. It's hard enough trying to pull off being a female sheepherder."

  Drily, he said, "Female isn't that hard to swallow. Gorgeous and articulate and polished are what's hard to buy. But you should be fine, as long as you stick to sheep. If no one sees you, no one will be intrigued."

  She rolled her eyes. "I think you're being a tad heavy on the blarney, but that’s the reason for moving around to different churches and sneaking in late and out early."

  "Okay, I understand that now. What I don't understand is what a woman who once thought she wanted to go on a mission is doing not trying to convert me."

  "What do you mean?"

  "Well, this is the fourth week in a row I've gone to church with you. Last week, I finally figured out that you're the church some people call the Mormons. With those famous teenage boy missionaries on bicycles. Why is no one pouncing on me?"