“That time you came home on leave? Before she started dating Jack? Y’all were together?”
“Yeah. The plan was to tell her how I felt about her. Tell her I wanted a future and ask her to wait. Five more years and then our promise to marry each other could be fulfilled. I knew it was asking a lot of her. But then I sort of freaked out. What if I died and left her all alone? Left her with nothing, just like Dad did with Mom.”
My sister looked like I had grown two heads. “Miles, you cannot compare yourself to our father! He cheated on Mom. You were in the military. Yes, you were gone a lot, but don’t you think Kynslee would rather have committed to you and started a life together than wait another five years, barely hearing from you?”
“I freaked, Lana. I fucking freaked out. I don’t know how else to explain it. I got called for a mission, easily the most dangerous one I’d ever been on. I overheard Jack asking her out and in that moment I decided it was best to let her go. I didn’t honestly think they would hit it off, but I didn’t want her waiting around and pining, either. I figured if she was still single when I got out, then we’d make a go of it.”
Her arms folded over her chest, cutely resting on her stomach. “I…don’t even know what to say to that stupid ass way of thinking.”
“Gosh, thanks, sis.”
“No, seriously. I get being scared, I get that. Commitment issues, I get that, too. I would understand that. But not being honest with her, telling her the truth and letting her decide what she wanted to do with her life, that’s what I don’t get. Why you robbed her of that.”
My fingers jerked through my hair. “Well, it’s in the past and there is nothing I can do about it now. Nothing. So I’m moving forward.”
“What about Kynslee, Miles? Have you stopped for one moment to question how she feels? You’re asking her to marry you based on a promise you made when you were eighteen. You’re assuming she still feels the same for you as she did five years ago. She’s moved on, Miles. You’re asking her to give up her chance of happiness with someone else. Someone who hasn’t strung her along for twelve years. Someone who isn’t you.”
Pushing off the counter, I glared at my sister. “And you don’t think she could be happy with me?”
“I don’t know. Could she? If the past twelve years are any indication of her level of happiness, then I’m going to say I’m doubtful.”
For the first time in my life, I doubted myself. Fuck. What if Kynslee had moved on? She admitted earlier that I’d hurt her, and that it would never happen again. I’d never hurt her on purpose, but what if my arrogance was taking the lead on all of this? Yes, she’d been single since she broke up with Jack, but I’d also known she’d gone out on a few dates since then from things my mother or Lana would say. Hell, even Kynslee admitted it when I talked or texted her sometimes. What if she truly didn’t want to be with me?
Lana sighed and reached for my hand. “Miles, don’t look like that. No one knows what is in Kynslee’s heart but her. It’s up to you to find out. Be open and honest with her. Show her what she means to you, not by swooping in and trying to be a knight in shining armor with this silly promise. It might have been romantic to her at eighteen, but thirty-year-old Kynslee has been through a lot and needs more than that. She needs to know she’s loved, cherished, and wanted for something other than a promise. She deserves that after what you’ve put her through.”
I nodded and squeezed her hand.
“She’s always been in love with you, Miles.”
I swallowed hard.
“How do you know that?” I asked, searching my sister’s face.
She giggled. “All you have to do is watch her when you walk into a room. Or when she catches a glimpse of you. Miles, that girl gave you her heart a long time ago, all you need to do is give her yours.”
“She’s always had mine.”
“Show her that, don’t just assume she knows it. You have a lot of ground to cover on this recon mission, dear brother. So get started.”
By the time I pulled up to Kynslee’s house, I was emotionally drained. I knew my sister was right, but I couldn’t discount the fears I’d had. No matter how many times I tried to tell myself that walking away had been the right thing to do, I knew deep in my gut it had been the biggest mistake. And it’d taken me coming home for good to realize it.
I dropped my head back against the seat of my truck and let out a groan.
I just had to make it in the military to age thirty. Then I’d be able to come home, win Kynslee’s love, get married, and we would be able to take our time starting a family. I’d be financially ready to settle down because I’d taken care of my family and could now focus on my own future.
“Fuck,” I mumbled as I dragged both hands over my face. How fucking arrogant was I? To think I could show up and she’d be ready to jump right into our promise. Right into my arms.
No, Lana was right. I needed to show Kynslee. I needed to win her love and trust back. I wouldn’t stop until I did.
A knock on the window had me screaming like a damn girl. I jerked my head to the left only to find Kynslee standing there, attempting to hide her smile.
“You scared the piss out of me,” I said as I got out. “Haven’t you ever heard of the guy coming up to the door to pick up a date?”
She shrugged. “I saw you pull up, and then you were just sitting here. I had to come find out if you were having second thoughts.”
I smiled. “Well, it would be easier if we could just plan our wedding and re-enact our honeymoon night and forget all this dating bullshit, but here I am.”
Her brow rose and anger built in those meadow green eyes. God, how I dreamed of those eyes so many nights…staring down as Kynslee rode me and brought out the most intense orgasm I’d ever had in my life. Dreams so real I swore she wasn’t a dream but a reality.
“Is that what this is all about, Miles? You want to have sex?”
I smiled again, knowing I had opened my mouth once more and said the wrong thing, but damn if it wasn’t fun watching her get pissed. It was a turn on, if I was being honest. “Are you offering?”
Her lip snarled, but I saw it for the briefest moment. She wanted me as much as I wanted her. It was there. I felt it between us.
“No!” she snapped.
I winked and replied, “Bummer.”
Her shoulders slumped. “You know what, I’m going back inside. Have a good night, Miles.”
I reached for her hand and pulled her close. Her body pressed against mine, and I swore I could feel every single nerve ending that touched her body. My dick instantly grew hard.
“I’m kidding, Kyns. Learn to take a joke.”
Her eyes looked up into mine. She seemed like she wanted to ask me something, but she pressed her lips tightly together. “Where are we going on this date?” she finally asked.
“Pick a number from ten to twenty-five.”
Kynslee’s mouth rose in a slight smile. Everyone kept telling me I didn’t know Kynslee, but I did. I knew everything about her. She loved adventures, and I was ready to take her on not one, but a lot of them.
“Okay, well twenty-four is my favorite number.”
“Twenty-four, it is.”
She let out a confused chuckle. “What does that even mean?”
With a wink, I took her hand, trying to ignore the zap of electricity that rushed up my arm. I walked her around the truck and opened the passenger door.
“Climb on in, and I’ll tell ya.”
Once we were out of her driveway and at the first intersection, I pulled out the penny.
I flipped it and caught it, placing it onto the back of my hand. “Heads. We go right.”
Kynslee’s smile was absolutely radiant at this silly date I’d planned.
Turning right, I drove down County Road 1340.
“Miles, you want to tell me what in the hell you’re doing?” Kynslee asked.
It was hard as hell to keep a straight face. “We’re on a penny
date, Kyns. Haven’t you ever been on a penny date before?”
“A penny date?”
Giving her a quick glance, I laughed. “Kyns, you’ve really never been on a penny date?”
“No, Miles, I have not. Most of the guys I’ve dated tend to have more than a penny to their name.”
I laughed. “Trust me, I have more than a penny and that’s not what it means.”
She sighed. “Then please explain what a penny date is.”
“Okay, well, you picked twenty-four. So every time I come to an intersection, I flip the penny. Heads we go right. Tails we go left. After the twenty-fourth time, the next intersection is where we have our date.”
I could feel her eyes on me. It was tempting as hell not to look at her. Did she think this was a stupid idea, or was she excited for an adventure? The old Kynslee would be excited. My heart knew that part of her hadn’t changed in the past twelve years.
“So, once we get to the intersection, what if there isn’t anything there? No restaurant, no nothing.”
“We make do.”
“But I’m hungry, Miles!” she said, a slight hint of amusement in her voice.
“Good thing I brought a basket full of food.”
Her silence made me look over at her. She was smiling.
Okay, is she smiling because she’s plotting revenge? Or smiling because she thinks this is fun? Hell, I might as well toss this penny in the air and see where it lands. Heads for revenge, tails for fun.
I looked back at the road and came to a stop.
“Let me do the penny!” she said, excitement in her voice.
And there was the Kynslee I remembered. I smiled at her and said, “Let’s do this.” I handed her the penny, and Kynslee looked to the left and then the right before she tossed it, caught it, then slapped it over onto the back of her hand.
“Left!” she cried out in excitement.
I couldn’t help but laugh. She was enjoying this.
“Left, it is.”
“Okay, so I’m trying to figure out in my head where in the heck this will take us!” she said with a laugh.
Shit. It was nice to hear her laugh. She’d laughed plenty of times over the phone when we talked over the years, but it was music to my ears in person. I had fucking missed her more than I cared to admit when I was off saving the world, but now that she was sitting here beside me, it really hit home.
“The next intersection is a few miles down the road,” Kynslee said. “If we go left, it takes us into that one neighborhood that is just gonna bring us back to 1340.”
“If we go right?” I asked, knowing exactly where it brought us.
“Curtbirth Drive.”
“Let’s hope we don’t go down Tegner Ranch Road.”
“But Willis Lake is there.”
Laughing, I looked at her. “In the mood to skinny dip?”
She smiled. “That was a fun day. It was the first time I ever saw a guy’s…you know.”
“Cock?” I asked.
“Ugh! Seriously, Miles. Did you have to say that word?”
“That is what it’s called, princess.”
She rolled her eyes. “Dick would be a better word.”
“Why not cock?”
“It sounds sexual.”
I laughed again. “It is sexual. And I’ve got a big one, if you remember.”
She turned and looked at me, her teeth digging into her lower lip. She let her eyes go to my crotch and shrugged. “I’ve seen bigger.”
Slamming on the brakes, I pulled my truck over to the side of the road.
“Miles! What in the hell are you doing now?”
“Who has a bigger cock than me?”
Her eyes widened in shock, then she let out a nervous chuckle. “W-what?”
“It’s not a hard question. Who has a bigger cock than me?”
“Oh, my God! Stop calling it that!” she shouted.
“That’s what it’s called!”
Her head dropped back against the seat. “Miles, please, can we get back to the penny date? We still have twenty-three turns to make and I was starting to have fun.”
“I’m not pulling out until you tell me who has a bigger cock than me.”
She swallowed hard and looked out the window as she answered. “Jack did.”
Anger raced through my body. “Bullshit,” I stated. “I’ve seen his cock.”
She looked my way, her mouth open. “Oh. My. Gosh. Do I even want to know how or why you have seen his junk?”
“Excuse me, but we all had to shower together after football practice. It was hard not to notice someone’s dick every now and then.”
Kynslee shook her head and mumbled. “Men.” She dragged in a breath and slowly blew it out. “Can we stop this stupid little game now. What are you? Twelve? Did you whip your dick out in boot camp and all compare?”
“No.”
“Shocking,” she hissed.
I pulled back out onto the road and came to the next intersection. I was acting like a goddamn child. What in the hell was wrong with me?
Kynslee tossed the penny up and got heads.
She smiled. “Right.”
I turned right. It was time for me to stow the jealousy I had toward Jack. The guy who got to take Kynslee to bed while I dodged bullets and tried to keep the image of her sleeping with another guy out of my head so I didn’t get myself killed. It was no one’s fault but my own that she ended up with the asshole. I was just lucky she didn’t marry his sorry ass.
We kept on with the penny game until it took us right by Willis Lake. The next three turns led us to a dead end.
“What do we do when we get to a dead end?” Kynslee asked in a serious voice. I wondered if she had any idea how sexy she was as she looked around, a concerned look on her face, as if she was truly worried we might have to end the game now.
With a wink and a smile, I answered, “Simple. We turn around.”
A wide grin erupted on her face, and I pushed all thoughts of Kynslee and Jack together out of my head. She was here with me now, not him, and if I had anything to say about it, she’d be with me for the rest of my life.
Miles
TWENTY-FOUR TURNS and we were in Ingram at Lake Old Ingram Park.
“What are the odds we would end up at a park!” Kynslee said, jumping out of the truck. I reached into the backseat and pulled out the blanket and basket of food I had packed up.
I followed her as she made her way to a picnic table.
“You know, we’re close to Stonehenge II,” I stated.
With a chuckle, Kynslee took the blanket. “I haven’t been there in forever. Do you want to sit on the table or in the grass?”
I glanced at the picnic table and then down toward the water.
“Let’s sit closer to the water.”
“Okay,” she said, chewing on her lower lip. Jesus, something about those teeth digging into that lip had me aching to be inside her.
While Kynslee laid out the blanket, I opened the basket and pulled out the chips and dip and fruit I had bought at the store, then pulled out two turkey sandwiches and laid it all out on the blanket.
“Hope this is okay. I made the sandwiches but bought everything else.”
With a look I couldn’t read, Kynslee said, “It’s great.”
I picked up the sandwich and handed it to her, and she took it with a short thank you. We ate our sandwiches in silence as we watched a family beginning to pack up from their day at the small lake.
Finally, one of us broke the comfortable silence we had fallen into.
“Are you settling back into life on the farm?” Kynslee asked.
“It’s weird at times, but I’m glad to be home. What about you? I’m dying to finally meet Whiskey.”
She smiled. “You can meet him when you drop me off. He’ll love meeting the man who named him after alcohol.”
I laughed.
“What made you decide to work for the CIA?” Kynslee asked.
; “Honestly?”
She nodded. “Always.”
That one word made my chest tighten.
“Money, just like you said before.”
Her eyes widened. “Money?”
I took a bite of a banana. “They offered me enough to pay off the farm and get the house fixed up. Plus I was able to put some away for me for whenever I, um, moved on after the service.”
“Why did they pick you?”
Laughing, I replied, “Good question. I have no idea. My commander said it was because I was a good shot. I thought quickly on my feet, and I had no one to tie me down.”
“No one as in a girlfriend?”
I felt the pain in my chest. “Nope.”
Kynslee took a bite of her sandwich and stared over the lake. The sun was beginning to sink farther in the sky, and the orange glow bounced off the ripples, giving it a soothing, almost hypnotic feel. I had known I missed home but being back and sitting with Kynslee made me hate my father even more. It was because of him I had to leave her in the first place. I pushed all that aside and kept talking. I needed to focus on our future, not on my fucked-up past.
“They told me the large payout was a way to pull me back in. I had been planning on not reenlisting, but the money was too much to walk away from. It took care of my mom and brother and sister. Plus, it left me a nice little nest egg of my own.”
That made her head snap over at me.
“You weren’t reenlisting?”
“I didn’t have any plans to at the time. I had helped momma get out of debt and things were starting to look better on the farm. But, the amount would make life a lot easier for all of us. Sixty months and a lifetime of no worry. It was honestly a choice I couldn’t walk away from.”
“That dangerous, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said with a frown. “I think they knew that was the only way I’d agree to stay.”
She nodded slowly. “Money.”
It made me sound like a greedy dick, I knew that. But that was never my intention. I gave away more money than I ever kept for myself.
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