“There’s no one else like her!” I say.
How dare she compare my woman to anyone else. I’ve been around this world more times than years this person in front of me has been alive. I’ve seen women of every shape and size, every color of skin, every religion or belief and I know for a fact there is only one woman like this on the face of the planet.
Only one young woman who is absolutely meant for me and I’m tired of looking for her. It’s time to quit messing around and find her.
“Sir, I’m going to have to call the campus police if this continues. You’re scaring me.”
I try and calm myself down so I can think.
“And kind of turning me on at the same time,” she mumbles under her breath.
I’m not interested. I’m only interested in one very specific girl.
I turn and walk out of the office.
What appears to be her boss or some sort of supervisor brushes past me.
“Well hello there, lumberjack.”
What in the hell is wrong with these women? Can’t they see I’m taken? Can’t they see I’m on a mission to be reunited with the only girl in my life that matters?
Why do they even bother trying? With their looks and their little comments which they think are funny. Pointless. Completely pointless and a waste of time.
They’ll win the Powerball a hundred times over before they get me to break in my commitment to finding her.
I push through the doors on campus and make my way back to my truck. I used $2,500 to purchase a beat up old Ford F150. It’s got four wheels and an engine and that’s all I need right now.
I’m just gonna keep filling it with gas until I find her.
I won’t stop looking and I won’t let anything slow me down.
Not now. Not ever.
CHAPTER 15
Winter
“Coastal Coffee,” I say out loud as I read the sign.
I can’t believe it.
Firstly, we’re nowhere near a coast. How do they get off calling themselves Coastal Coffee?
And more importantly this is where I sat down with Sarge for the first time just over a couple months ago.
How did it turn from what it was then to what it is now?
And in the middle of winter no less?
Who would put all that effort into starting a business this late into the winter? It’s not like there are a bunch of rich people descending on this mountain town for a film festival or something.
Surely somebody around here knows where he lives.
I go inside and try and describe him. The barista looks at me like I’m a crazy, psycho, ex-girlfriend or something.
Oddly enough I might qualify as all three. At this point I definitely am guilty of being the first two.
I continue door to door but with no luck.
I step outside of the last shop at the end of the street two hours later feeling defeated and broken.
I take a deep breath and think about how I might be able to find him.
“How stupid am I?” I say as I slap my hand on my forehead.
I run down to the hotel and ask them if they can pull a record for that room the night we were there.
Fortunately the girl at the desk senses my desperation and lack of hope and she agrees to quickly check, if I promise not to tell anyone that she gave me the information.
“Yes! I mean I won’t tell,” I say as quietly as I can as I clasp my hands together in front of my body.
She smiles thinking she’s going to really help me out. And she is, but she has absolutely no idea.
Once I find him I’m going to tell him what happened but also let him know I don’t expect anything from him. I really don’t.
I just know he spoke so strongly about having a baby with me that night and now, well…here we go.
I just feel like he has the right to know. The right to know I’m going to keep it and to be involved if he chooses.
Maybe he’ll hate me after the way I up and ran off.
I can totally understand if he does. He has every right to. He can even yell and shout and I would totally understand.
I’d probably do the same.
But right now I’d give anything to see him…even if he tells me off to my face it doesn’t matter.
I just have to let him know and if I’m being honest with myself…I feel like there still might be a chance.
A second chance to try again. I’ll work and pay for everything for me and our child. I just want him.
I need him now. It’s embarrassing to come crawling back like this but sometimes it takes losing what you had to know how much you truly did have.
He’s so full of love and kindness and such a beautiful specimen of a man.
How I ever turned my back on him is now life’s greatest mystery.
“Okay. I found the booking,” she says.
“Goodie. Goodie. Goodie!” I say.
I’m almost there.
“Seems he paid in cash. He left the name of…whoever booked him just entered John Doe Guest. Oh my. I’m terribly sorry.”
I feel like a balloon that just got pricked by a pin.
“Nothing? There’s nothing else?”
The receptionist pauses trying to think.
“Nothing that I can think of unfortunately.”
“No security tapes?”
“We delete them after thirty days.”
“When you delete them how soon until you use them again? I mean if they’re digital you can recover the footage.”
“We use the same tapes, and we’re an old hotel. They’re film.”
“No other records? He didn’t provide anything or any clues when he checked out?”
“There’s nothing in the system and the girl who checked him in doesn’t work here anymore. She was just seasonal help from another country. She’s back to wherever she’s from now.”
I don’t want to give up when I got this close, but there’s just nothing else I can think of right now.
“If I think of something else can I call you?”
“Better if you just show up when I’m working. I shouldn't be doing this for you. I could lose my job. And I can’t totally promise I can search for anything in the future.”
“Ma’am, is everything okay with your visit?”
I turn and see the manager. Oh no.
“Yes, excellent. I mean I was just inquiring about a future stay and this young lady was helping me with the dates.”
“Excellent. We look forward to hosting you.”
“Thank you. I look forward to being your guest. I always love my visits here,” I say, realizing I was only here once of course and it ended very bittersweet.
“Thanks again,” I say to the receptionist. “I’ll clarify with my party and book online.”
“My pleasure,” she says.
I go for the exit and realize my statement is absolutely not a lie.
The minute I find him we’re coming right back here and I’m paying for it. The first time here was so magical.
All I need is one more chance for a do-over and that second chance should start back here at this hotel where I am now completely sure that…we fell in love.
I step outside and directly across the street I see…no it can’t be.
“Hawkeye!” I say, darting across the street as I hear a horn.
“Watch where you’re going psycho!” the voice yells out the window, but I don’t care.
“Hey there little lady.”
“Oh my gosh. I’m so glad I found you. Have you seen Sarge?”
“You call him Sarge too? I’m surprised he lets you get away with that.”
“I don’t even know his real name. That’s the problem.”
“Most people don’t. I think he gives it out on a need to know basis. And by gives it out I mean you pretty much have to pry it out of him and even that’s a chore considering I doubt he has a valid driver’s license or any ID for that matter. He could tell ya it’s Jiminy Cricket
and you’d pretty much be forced to believe him.”
I squint wondering how in the world this guy knows about the history of Disney movies, but right now I don’t care.
“Have you seen him?”
“Yeah. Hate to be the one to break the news, but I think ya might be a dollar short and a day late.”
“What do you mean?”
“He came by yesterday looking for some girl.”
“A girl?”
“Yeah. Seemed pretty obsessed with her.”
“Did he say who? Did he describe her?”
“No. Just said it was someone he met very recently. That’s about it.”
I do the quick calculation.
“But he never comes down here into town right? So recently could mean a while back?”
“Well, he never used to but in these last couple months he’s been down here…oh…a good handful of times now I’d say.”
“Five times?”
“Something around there I reckon.”
“And he met this girl recently?”
“Very recently he said.”
I don’t say anything.
“You gonna pick your lower lip up off the ground before somebody drives a truck inside that tunnel you got open?”
I close my mouth realizing he was right. Now I’m embarrassed, but more importantly this is the worst news I could have received.
“He didn’t describe her? Say what she looked like?”
“Like I said, no. He just said he met her very recently and he’s been coming down here a lot so your guess is as good as mine. He was definitely on a mission to find her though. Never ever seen him that way over a woman. Never thought I would either.”
“Right,” I say.
A moment passes.
“Come inside for a drink? Place is way nicer now that we’ve moved across the street.”
Wow, I’m telegraphing my misery that obviously huh? He can read the desperation on my face.
“Um thanks, but sorry. I can’t this time.”
“Not a problem. Next time you’re in town swing by. Maybe he’ll be back around and you’ll bump into him.”
“Maybe,” I say. “Thanks Hawkeye.”
“Not a problem little lady.”
I turn to go and start walking down the road feeling completely defeated.
“Want me to tell him who stopped by?”
I turn and pause thinking if it’s even worth it now.
He’s obviously moved on and it’s completely my fault. I totally blew it. But there’s no point in hating him for something I brought upon myself.
“Winter,” I say.
“All right then,” Hawkeye says as he coughs. It’s not due to the weather though. He’s laughing at my name because he thinks I’m referring to the season we’re in or the coldness I’m giving off right now. “Will do,” he says.
I turn to go and take a few steps. I stop. I just can’t let this go for some reason.
“Hawkeye,” I begin. I’m just at the edge of the distance where I can talk loudly but don’t have to yell.
“Ma’am.”
“Can you at least tell me his name?”
For the first time since I’ve met him a serious look comes over Hawkeye’s face. He’s deciding if he’s going to tell me. I can see that he does in fact know his name.
“Well, seeing that you two shared a drink together and he sure seemed to be having a good time when you were here I don’t see much harm in it. Not like he can’t protect himself anyways if you turn out to be an ax wielding psycho.
“An ax wielding psycho?”
“Never know these days.’
“Ain’t that the truth?” I say.
“Goes by the name of Jason Black. He’s a true war hero. If you Google him you won’t find anything though.”
“Jason Black,” I say softly. “What a pretty name.”
“I won’t tell him you said that,” Hawkeye says.
For the first time all day I smile.
“Hawkeye?”
“Yesssum?”
I smile yet again. He’s so down to earth and disarming you can’t help but warm up to him. I like the kinds of friends Mr. Jason Black keeps in his inner circle, although I do know Hawkeye doesn’t seem to be quiet in his inner circle. Then again I’m not sure anyone really is, even though I had the ultimate chance.
“You use Google?”
“Don’t let the beard and the belly and the occupational choice fool ya.”
Now I outright laugh.
“After all…how do you think I learned how to make those tacos we serve at the bar?”
“You serve tacos?”
“Eight days a week. Amazing what you can learn on YouTube these days.”
“And at a way better value than where I go to college to supposedly learn. That’s for sure.”
“I’m sure you’re smarter than you give yourself credit for. I can recognize someone who’s on the ball when I see 'em and I’d bet my bottom dollar you’re sharp as a tact.”
“Thank you,” I say.
“Just telling it like it is.”
“Enjoy your YouTube videos,” I say.
“Will do. You too.”
“I will!”
I can’t help but laugh but it doesn’t last long. A few steps later and I see the tears hit the snow as I walk to my car.
The sun’s about to set and I hurry back towards my car.
There might be a few more minutes of light left in the day, but the candle that is my chance to find him has now completely burned out.
CHAPTER 16
Winter
Seven months later
“Almost there,” the doctor says.
I feel the nurse squeeze my hand tight as I push on final time.
“Congratulations,” the doctor says. “You’re the mother of a beautiful, healthy, baby girl.”
Seconds later she’s placed on my abdomen and the nurse quickly dries her off before covering her with a warm blanket and then placing a cap on her head to keep her warm.
“Welcome to this world, baby Brielle,” I say.
The two of us have a long road ahead, but I know we’re gonna make it. I’m going to do everything I can to make sure she has every opportunity in life.
I found a way to get a job that included employee medical care coverage and I’ll find a way to get her into the best schools and start setting aside some money for her higher education as soon as I can.
But first I just need to bond with her.
I give her my finger and she wraps her entire little baby hand around it. I knew my baby would be small, but I guess I wasn’t prepared for just how small.
And I’m glad I had a daughter.
I didn’t want to find out before delivery day, preferring the old fashioned surprise.
And I’m definitely surprised.
She moves her head slightly and then opens her eyes.
“Wow. You are so beautiful. Baby blue eyes just like me…and your father.”
I try not to think about it but I wonder what Jason Black is doing right now, and I can’t deny I wish he was here by my side.
I know it’s 2018 and a woman can do anything she wants by herself, but I’d still prefer to have a man by my side.
And not just any man. Her father. The man who I loved so briefly and then was foolish to run away from.
But I can’t think about that right now. I need to stay positive. There’s nothing I can do to change what happened. The only thing I can do is focus on the future and the two of us.
Me and my beautiful baby Brielle.
Jason was right. We did make the perfect baby.
I just wish he was here to see her and experience this joy with me.
CHAPTER 17
Mountain Man's Secret Baby: An Older Man Younger Woman Romance (A Man Who Knows What He Wants Book 41) Page 7