Sidekick

by Auralee Wallace

  Most of the time, I had no idea what I was doing, but, by God, that wasn’t going to stop me from doing it.

  My eyelids flew open. I was ready to tackle the world.

  Then I screamed.

  “Queenie!”

  “Horrible neighbor.”

  Queen’s face was upside down, mere inches above mine.

  She wore a black cloth doctor’s mask and wire-rimmed sunglasses. When she pulled back, I could see the matching black scrubs and plastic gloves on her hands.

  She snapped one at the wrist.

  I did a frantic body check.

  Well, at least I wasn’t pinned to my bed in plastic sheeting.

  “What’s going on, Queenie?” I asked carefully.

  “I have to fix you,” she said.

  “Um…”

  “Your hair. I have to fix your hair.”

  “Why?”

  “Because it will ruin everything.”

  Suddenly Queenie pulled out a plastic pitcher and dumped it over my head.

  What followed was a water-boarding blur of lather, rinse, and repeat.

  Harsh chemical smells filled my nose as I prayed for God to guide Queenie’s hands. Then I thought it best to pray to the other guy too. This was no time to be making enemies.

  It seemed like hours passed before Queenie pulled out a hair dryer. I was always too afraid to use one. It might blow a fuse, a fuse which Mr. Pushkin would then have to fix. I’d rather live without electricity. But Queenie was fearless.

  Finally, probably twenty minutes after my scalp felt fully baked, she flicked off the dryer and stood back from the bed.

  “There.”

  “There?”

  “There.”

  I sat up slowly bringing my hand to my hair.

  Soft. Silky. Smooth.

  I flicked my head in a horse mane toss and caught a glimpse of a golden rainbow shimmering through the air.

  I jumped up and looked in the mirror.

  “Oh Queenie, it’s…it’s…”

  “I didn’t do it for you,” she said blandly.

  “Then why?” I asked dreamily. “Why hast thou blessed me with the hair of the gods?”

  “It wasn’t for you,” she repeated. “I did it for this.”

  She stepped to one side and there—neatly hung on my closest door—was everything I always wanted to be.

  I stood frozen in a moment of glory. Then I turned to Queenie with my arms open.

  “If you touch me, I will kick you in the face.”

  Queenie endured a full minute of profuse gratitude before she left.

  The second the door shut, I tore off my clothes and dressed myself in my new suit.

  How could I possibly describe it?

  It would be like trying to describe the love a mother feels for her newborn baby.

  I might say it looked as though the midnight sky had poured itself onto to my body…but it was even more than that. Deep blue and purple undercurrents prowled over my skin, and when I moved, it shimmered—the fabric weaving an illusion of muscle and perfectly shaped boobs.

  I was ready.

  The transformation from self-indulgent princess to self-sacrificing hero had begun.

  I was going to listen before I spoke. I was going to think before I acted. I was going to work harder than I had ever worked before.

  It was time to see Choden.

  I would answer the call of the universe and submit to all it asked of me.

  ***

  “I’m not doing that.”

  Choden stared at me calmly.

  “It’s crazy. It will never work. That plan ends with me locked up in a facility.”

  “I don’t see any other way, child.”

  “Did you miss the first part of this conversation? The part where you told me how much training I was going to need?” I sputtered loudly.

  Choden’s expression didn’t change.

  “Let’s see, there was the mental, physical, and spiritual training,” I said ticking off fingers. “Then there was the practical training in firearms, alarm systems, explosives, hand to hand combat, and rappelling.”

  “Are you finished?” Choden asked with an unfazed smile.

  “You then went on to say that Ryder…Indira….whatever…had trained her entire life! Her entire life! And you want me to break into my father’s office, in one of the most heavily secured buildings in the world, tomorrow night? Are you nuts?”

  Choden passed me a mug. “Have some tea.”

  “I don’t want tea!”

  “I made it myself,” he said sweetly.

  I took the mug.

  “My drinking this means nothing,” I said taking a sip.

  Mmm. Warm and twiggy.

  I needed it. I felt a little on edge.

  When I had arrived at the apartment, Choden didn’t seem at all surprised to see me. I knew there had to be a smug bastard lurking underneath all that serene baldness. After checking in on Ryder, he took me to the balcony to go over plans…crazy plans that I now realized had no basis in reality.

  After a few moments of silence, Choden said, “We have obtained information that your father is planning something. We need to know what it is.”

  I pointed my mug at him. “Okay, and that’s another thing. Now that I’m on the inside, don’t you think I should be part of the we?” I asked. “Where did you get this information?”

  He looked at me for a moment as though weighing the consequences of telling me. “In this particular case, we have been monitoring the home computer of a reporter.”

  I closed my eyes for a moment. “Oh please tell me it’s not—”

  “Yes. It is Pierce Stricklin.”

  I shook my head and looked up at the clear sky. “Well, then please tell me that it wasn’t me who led you to him.”

  “Indira had been following you.”

  “Well that’s fantastic! That’s just—”

  “Please try to focus, child.” He reached for my mug and set it on a table before guiding me to the railing to look out over the city. “He has been receiving communications from an informant who suggests a devastating event will take place in the city very soon.”

  “What is it?”

  Choden didn’t turn to meet my gaze. He just stared serenely out across the sunlight buildings. “As I said, we don’t know. That is why we need you. Your father’s computer system cannot be breached from the outside. Ryder was planning to break into the office herself…”

  He didn’t need to say but.

  “Wait a minute,” I said. “You’re the teacher, why don’t you do it?”

  His unreadable eyes then met mine. “I have made a vow to never again commit an act of violence.”

  The expression on his face stopped me from replying.

  “Many years ago, I did something I believed was necessary. The consequences were…devastating.”

  “Wait…so you want me to commit violence?” I smoothed my windblown hair back from my face. God, it was beautiful. Focus Bremy. “You know, the only violence I have ever been able to commit was of the accidental variety.”

  “I have much to teach you, child,” Choden said reaching for my hand. “And the first lesson will be for you to accept that your greatest weaknesses are also your greatest strengths.”

  “Is this really the only way?”

  “I cannot think of another.”

  “Fine!” I said throwing my hands up. “Let’s do this thing.”

  In my mind, training was going to go something like a classic Rocky movie. There would be mountains covered in snow…mountains I would run up with a log on my back, while Eye of the Tiger played in the background.

  What I did not expect was to spend the next three hours kneeling on Choden’s floor surrounded by blueprints, straining to visualize what grid lines looked like in three dimensions.

  “Argh. Why are we doing this again?” I asked, throwing my head down on top of the paper. “I already know where his office is. And do you hav
e any chairs in this place? This whole sitting on the carpet thing is getting old.”

  “I have always believed it is best to have three escape routes mapped for every location. The likely. The unlikely. And the impossible,” Choden replied ignoring my other complaint.

  I screwed up my face. “If it’s impossible, then why plan it?”

  “Knuckles,” Choden ordered calmly.

  “What? No! I didn’t mean it!”

  “Knuckles.”

  This was the other unexpected part of my new training.

  “Gah!” I got down on my hands and knees then moved to plank position, but instead of resting on my palms, I rolled up onto my knuckles.

  “You have been rewarded for being undisciplined…for being reckless…for being your father’s opposite,” Choden said walking around my quivering form. “This is a weakness, but it is also a strength. You are one who acts. You give yourself little time to decide if you are, in fact, brave. But it is not enough. You have been lucky. You will need more than luck to face your father.”

  “Sorry Master Choden,” I said through gritted teeth.

  “Hmm, I do believe I heard, what is the word? Sarcasm.” He said it with what sounded like a smile. I couldn’t be sure. If I looked up, I was going down. And I didn’t want to land on my face. After all, it had my hair to compete with now.

  “You fight yourself. You hide your pain with humor. But now is the time to have clear intention…to be prepared…to do more than simply throw yourself into chaos.”

  I grunted my agreement. Words took too much strength.

  “Your father is clear about who he is…about what he wants. Are you? You are fighting against so many forces, but do you know what it is you are fighting for?”

  Trails of sweat ran down my arms, pooling at my hands.

  “Can you speak of what he did to you?”

  A memory slammed into my brain like a freight train.

  I pushed it back, but it was too late. Suddenly I felt like I had the weight of the moon on my shoulders.

  “He will use your pain, Bremy. It makes you vulnerable.”

  Why was Choden doing this to me? The plan was to break into my father’s office during his town hall event. I wouldn’t even see him.

  “Can you fight your father, child? Can you betray him?”

  “Yes,” I grunted, every muscle trembling.

  “Ah, I see. Then answer me this.”

  I waited, my body on fire.

  “Can you forgive him?”

  My face hit the floor.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  I didn’t even notice the people giving me strange looks as I walked down the rain-slicked streets. Well, I only noticed enough to realize that I wasn’t noticing the people giving me strange looks.

  I was grumpy and my face hurt. They could look for all I cared. It wouldn’t stop me from grumbling and stomping.

  Forgive my father.

  Choden didn’t even know what he had done.

  What crap.

  Thankfully, we had spent the rest of the day in silent meditation watching the rain clouds roll in. I didn’t see how that was going to help me get past my father’s security guards, but at least it took us off my need for family counselling. Being a superhero wasn’t nearly as much fun as I thought it was going to be.

  And I suspected it was about to get worse.

  I opened the door to Dreaming of Electric Sheep. The first person I saw was a tall blonde woman in a tight dress standing off to the side, presumably cleaning shelves, given the feather duster in her hand. Next, I saw Bart sitting behind the counter with his arms crossed over his chest. He was smiling like The Lord of the Rings had officially been declared the best book series ever.

  “Well, look who the cat dragged in,” he said cheerfully. “And how on earth did you get Farrah Fawcett’s ghost to agree to be your hairy godmother?”

  “Oh shut up,” I muttered. “And why are you smiling like that?”

  “I love how much you hate asking me for help.”

  “How did you know I was going to ask you for help?”

  “Well, according to the source emailing your boyfriend, your father’s up to something big, and I’m guessing you want to find out what it is.”

  My jawed dropped. “You hacked into Pierce’s computer?”

  “It wasn’t hard,” he mumbled shoving half a burrito in his mouth. “I guess you like them beautiful and stupid too, huh?”

  I looked over to the shelves.

  “She is standing right there,” I said pointing to the blonde. “She can hear you.”

  Bart started to laugh and shook his head.

  I followed my own finger-point. The blonde was spinning in a circle trying to catch a stain on the back of her dress. I sighed.

  “Pierce is not like that.”

  “Sure, I believe whatever you have to say about Mr. Password One Two Three, One Two Three.”

  I shot Bart a death stare. He smiled big back at me.

  “Moving on,” I said. “Are you going to help me or what?”

  “Follow me.” He waved a hand towards the back room.

  Ms. Chasing her Tail perked up at this and gave me a suspicious look, but a dust mote floated past her face throwing her off my scent.

  When we got into the cave of blinking lights and wonder, I started to ask Bart if he could hack into my father’s computer, but he cut me off.

  “Impossible,” he said. “And this is me saying it.”

  “Why?”

  “His system is the best I’ve ever seen.” He spun quickly on his heel to face me. “I’m a genius, not a wizard.”

  “I know that. I just meant—”

  “Maybe I should write a program that could call his computer like a dog? And it could come running to your feet?” He dropped himself into a plush office chair with a grunt.

  “Jeez, sorry. I just thought you were some sort of super geek.”

  “You may think you are insulting me with that word, but my kind has reclaimed geek. I take that as a compliment.”

  I tilted my face to the ceiling and mumbled, “Whatever, nerd.”

  Bart gave me a look that could probably kill in Dungeons and Dragons before saying, “I could theoretically hack into your dad’s system remotely, but not in the timeframe you need.”

  “Great.” I had hoped Bart could save me from having to break in. Even if St. James Industries hadn’t changed their security protocols regarding little old me, there was no way I could pull off Choden’s plan. Say I did get into my father’s office. I didn’t even know the start-up password for his computer. It was a waste of time.

  “Oh baby, it’s not all doom and gloom.”

  I looked up.

  “I said I couldn’t hack the system remotely. That doesn’t mean I can’t help at all.”

  “How?”

  “There are other ways to access a computer.”

  I nodded quickly. “Well, I was thinking if I managed to get in I could use one of those flashcard thingies to copy the whole lot. Do you need passwords for that?”

  He gave me a pitying smile. “You’re so cute, but your father would have safeguards against that. Are you sure there’s even a port for your flashdrivey thingy?” He blinked his eyes like a Kewpie doll.

  “Well, no,” I replied, resisting the urge to smack him. “So what’s your plan?”

  “We send your father an email.”

  “You can get into his system from an email?” I asked. “That’s it?”

  “That’s it,” he replied putting his hands in the air. “But there’s a little catch.”

  My shoulders slumped. “Of course there is.”

  “You have to get him to download an attachment.”

  “Okay, well, nice try, but next plan.” I sat down on a nearby desk. Suddenly all the computer lights dimmed and a Barry White song came on.

  “Hey! Get off the keyboard! You triggered seduction mode.”

  I jumped up, and quickly brushed off my
backside, feeling icky. “I thought you didn’t need to seduce the ladies.”

  “It’s not for them. It’s for me.”

  “You’re so weird,” I said shaking my head. “Anyway, my father is not going to download some virus attachment.”

  “You’re his daughter. Surely you can think of something he’ll open.”

  I paused. “Maybe. But he’ll probably open it on his phone, and his secret plans would most likely be on his office computer.”

  “Doesn’t matter. The network would be segmented to include his office.” He picked at some leftover burrito stuck in his teeth. “You leave that part to me.”

  “Okay, well, this is good news,” I said feeling marginally better. “So I don’t even need to break in. I just need to figure out something that he’ll be tempted to open over email.”

  “Yeah, no, I didn’t say that. You need to send an attachment he’ll open, and you need to break into his office to be on his computer when he does.”

  “What?” I shrieked. “Now you’re just being silly.”

  “Look, St. James Industries has programs that monitor the activity flow of all the computers in the building. I’m going to have to work quickly to get the information before they realize what I’m doing. I can’t keep the port open, manage my security defences, decrypt passwords, and sneak around the computer all at the same time. You need to do the last part.”

  “Okay, you’re losing me.” All this computer talk was making a buzzing sound in my head. “Talk me through it.”

  “Here’s how it will go,” Bart said wiping his hands onto his jeans. “Step one, you break into his office.”

  “Check,” I said ignoring the little person in my head laughing hysterically at the certainty of my check.

  “Step two, you turn the computer on.”

  “Okay.”

  “Then you do nothing.”

  “Excellent. I like that part.”

  “I will send the email to your dad from your phone here just in case he is GPSing you. We don’t want him to know you’re in the building.” He stopped talking to make a note on a doughnut wrapper. “I should mask this location too.”

  I nodded. “Okay, good.”

  “When your father opens the attachment, I will breach the system. The main screen on the office computer will come up. That’s how you’ll know it worked.”

  Bart sounded excited, and I had to admit, it was infectious. “Then you will choose whatever file you think is the most important in figuring out what your father is up to, and you will open it. Whatever file you open, I steal. Then I shut everything down.”