Christmas Blue at Flynn's

by Angela Verdenius

  Christmas Blue at Flynn’s

  By

  Angela Verdenius

  Copyright 2017 Angela Verdenius

  All Rights Reserved

  Cover image courtesy of © yuriyzhuravov | istockphotos.com

  & © shapecharge | istockphotos.com

  Cover by Angela Verdenius

  ebook Edition License Notes

  No part of this book may be reproduced, resold, copied or given away in any form without prior consent of the author & publisher.

  All characters and towns are figments of the author’s imagination and bear no resemblance to any person living or deceased.

  Table of Contents

  Glossary

  Foreword

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Afterword

  Bio

  Other Books by this Author

  Glossary

  I found that some overseas readers were having difficulty with the Australian slang, so I thought a list of the slang I’ve used will help while reading the following story. If I’ve forgotten any, I do apologise! Also, you’ll find some of our Aussie words have different spelling to the US. Interestingly enough, as I’ve grown (gracefully) older, I find a lot of our slang is bypassing the younger generation, so if a young Aussie says they have never heard a certain word, don’t be surprised! But trust me, I’ve used these words all my life growing up, and so have a lot of my family and friends. Does that make me an older Aussie? Heck yes! LOL

  Cheers,

  Angela

  Australian Names/Terms/Slang

  AFP - Australian Federal Police

  Ambos - ambulance officers

  Arse-End Arnold - usually the soldier guarding the rear of a platoon when in the field.

  Arvo - afternoon

  Barbie - BBQ

  Beaut - beautiful, awesome, great, wonderful

  Berko - berserk

  Bewdy - as in ‘awesome, great’

  Biccies - biscuits. The same as cookies

  Bikie - biker, person who rides motorcycles.

  Bloke/s - man/men

  Bloody - a swear word ‘no bloody good’, in place of ‘no damned good’

  Blowies - blow flies

  Blue - fight, argument - as in ‘they’re having a blue’

  Boofhead - idiot, simpleton, etc. It’s an insult, though sometimes we use it as a term of affection. It depends on how it is said and meant.

  Boot (of a car) - trunk

  Brown nose - currying favour, sucking up. Has a cruder description, but let’s not go into that here. Means the same thing!

  Budgie smugglers - men’s bathers, small, brief and tight-fitting

  Buggered - many Aussie use it as a slang word for ‘broken’ (it’s buggered), ‘tired (I’m buggered), and ‘no way’ (I’m buggered if I’m going to do that). Just some examples

  Bung/Bunging - as in ‘bunging onto something’, putting on something (bung veggies on a plate, putting veggies on a plate), usually in a careless or ‘easy’ manner.

  Bush rangers - outlaws/thieves/robbers.

  Caramel Crowns - one of Arnott’s totally awesome chocolate and caramel biscuit. Gooey yumminess!

  Cark/carked - die, died.

  Chips - in Australia we have cold crunchy chips from a packet, or hot chips known in some countries as French Fries

  Chippie - carpenter

  Crash cart - resuscitation trolley in a hospital or medical setting - used for life threatening situations such as cardiac arrest

  Dander – temper

  Dial - face

  Digger - Australian soldier.

  Dill - silly, idiot

  Dogs - (as in attached to a truck) - trailers, enclosed or not, that carry goods or are empty.

  Doona - like a padded quilt that fits inside a cover and lies on the bed. Can have the warmth of two, three or four blankets, etc.

  Donger - penis. Also another meaning is a place people sometimes sleep in, such as ‘dongers’ on mine sites.

  Dunny - toilet. When used in the terms ‘built like a brick dunny’, it refers to something built solid, unmoveable.

  Fire bug - arsonist

  Firies - fire fighters

  Garbo/s - the person/s who drive and/or load garbage onto the garbage truck.

  Gee-gees - horses

  Giggle-box - TV, television

  Gob - mouth

  Got his/her/their goat – annoyed him/her/them

  Hardifence - corrugated fibre cement sheets

  Hoon/s - person/people who indulge in antisocial behaviour. Great explanation in Wikipedia

  Iced Coffee/chocolate - a milk drink flavoured with chocolate or coffee

  Jarmies - pyjamas

  Jumper - sweater

  Kick up a stink - make a fuss, get angry

  Local rag - local newspaper

  Lolly - sweetie, candy

  Loo - toilet

  Lug - face

  Marie biscuits - Arnott brand of plain sweet biscuit - delicious.

  Milo - chocolate malt drink. Can have it hot or cold. Yummy!

  Moosh - slang for face/mouth

  Mobile phone - cell phone

  Mozzie - mosquito

  NAD - No Abnormalities Detected

  Nong - idiot

  Nooky - sex

  Paddy wagon - four wheel drive police vehicle carries four police in the double cab and has a filled-in imprisonment section in the back to place prisoners.

  Panadol - paracetamol, similar to Tylenol in the US

  Pav/s - Pavlova/Pavlovas - best dessert ever!

  PCYC - Police and Citizens Youth Club

  Pedal Pushers - three quarter pants/knickerbockers

  Porking - having sex

  Primapore - sticky patch with a pad in it, a medical dressing

  Pub – hotel

  Quack – derogatory term for a doctor

  RAC - Royal Automobile Club of Western Australia. Covers insurance, holidays, loans, etc

  Red backs - poisonous spider, black in colour with a red stripe on its back.

  Root - sex

  Rotty – Rottweiler breed of dog.

  Rubbers – condoms

  Sack - bed - as ‘in the sack’ meaning ‘in bed’

  Servo - service station

  Shag - sex

  Sheila – female

  Slab – carton of beer.

  Smoko - morning tea and afternoon tea break

  Snaggers - sausages

  Soft drink - soda, fizzy drink

  Sparkie - electrician

  Spider (drink) - soft drink of choice with a scoop of ice cream in it

  Spunk - good-looking man

  Stiffy - erection, boner

  Subbies - sub contractors

  Tea - some people call the evening meal dinner. In my family, we’ve always called it tea, as in breaky, dinner and tea, or breaky, lunch and tea.

  Thongs - worn on the feet, same as ‘flip flops’

  Tickled pink - delighted

  Tim Tams - a brand of Arnott’s Biscuits. Yummy!

  TLC - Tender Loving Care

  Togs - bathers, swim suit

  Torch - flashlight

  Toot - toilet

  Tradies - tradesmen

  Trots - diarrhoea

  Tucker – food

  Twistie – a brand of cheese-flavoured snack food. Yummy!

  Ute - small truck

  Vegemite - most Aussies find this spread yummy, many non-Aussies find it too salty. Here’s the hint - if you ever have Vegemite, use it spread thinly, never thickly!

  V
ollie - volunteers

  Wacky baccy - marijuana

  Wanger - penis

  Waterworks - crying

  Whopper - a lie

  Yamaha & Suzuki - ‘brands’ of motorcycles.

  You wally - silly

  Foreword

  I’ve always wanted to do a Christmas story, and finally - here it is!

  Christmas in Australia is cold drinks and sun, and for my family it’s cold food as well - we’re talking salads and ice cream and cold meat. Some of the braver Aussies will do the roast or BBQ. Whatever, it doesn’t matter, Christmas is Christmas. For some of us it has deep religious meaning, for others it’s a time of family, friends and get-togethers.

  I love Christmas. I don’t have to receive presents, I don’t have to have a lot of money or things. I don’t even need a lot of people around me as long as I have those near and dear to me (both human and furry). I just love Christmas, to reflect on the blessings in my life and be thankful for all I have. And the feel of Christmas, it’s in the air. Christmas is what you make it.

  For me, it’s also a chance to say Merry Christmas to you! I hope your Christmas is filled with cheer, be it quiet or noisy, peaceful or boisterous.

  So back to this Christmas story - it’s a little silly, a little light-hearted, a little romantic, so sit back, enjoy it, and have some romance and laughs this Christmas…because you’re worth it ;-)

  Chapter 1

  When Ben opened the back door to find a blue-eyed, blue-pointed furry face looking up at him, he suspected something was up.

  When the Siamese trotted right on by him into the kitchen, he knew something was up.

  When he turned to see the dainty cat jump up onto one of his kitchen chairs and start washing one paw in preparation of settling down, he positively knew something was up.

  “What’s up, Phoebe?”

  Big blue eyes blinked at him before she licked her paw and rubbed the side of her face.

  “Where’s Flynn?”

  Phoebe inspected her paw then started nibbling on her immaculate nails.

  Scruff, the Yorkshire Terrier, walked into the kitchen, saw Phoebe, dropped to the floor and rolled onto his back, four little legs up in the air. He knew who was boss even if Phoebe didn’t live here.

  Pausing, she glanced over at him, took in his submissive pose with indifference, and resumed cleaning her paw.

  Stepping out onto the back veranda, Ben peered over at the house next door partially hidden by the high Hardifence. All was quiet. The windows were closed in deference to the growing heat but the curtains were open each side of the blinds as the sun was still on the other side of the house. Once that hot December sun came overhead then made its way to the other side, the blinds would come down to keep out the sunshine.

  The blinds being up revealed the tinsel hanging from one of the curtain rods. The window itself boasted sprayed-on snow. Wishful thinking since Christmas in Australia was hot enough generally to fry eggs on the footpath.

  Or people’s brains out if they decided to walk around in the sun without a hat. Take your pick.

  Crossing to the corner of the veranda, Ben stood on tip-toe to see into the yard next door. Part of the garden could be seen, part of Flynn’s back veranda. The bird bath under the big tree was full of water, the native plants along the back fence were in flower beneath which some grey doves sheltered from the sun. The patch of grass was green. The stone pavers and pebbles lining the garden beds held a sprinkling of leaves from his big old gum tree that hung partially over the fence.

  No fair-haired girl with a sunny smile and bright blue eyes was in the yard.

  Which begged the question - why was Phoebe over at his house when normally she’d be sprawled out in her owner’s neat little house with the ceiling fan lazily turning, stirring the lightly-fragranced air and keeping everything cool?

  A little concerned, Ben headed back into the kitchen and through the hallway to the front door. Stepping out, he slid his feet into thongs, shut and locked the door behind him and headed over to his friend’s house.

  As he walked up the paved path lined with vincas either side, he noticed the motorbike with the sidecar parked beside the garage. Couldn’t help but notice it, really, when it was hot pink with ‘Hell’s Granny’ painted along the sidecar in neon green.

  Okay, either Flynn had gone a little odd or she had a visitor.

  Stepping up onto the veranda, he pressed the door bell, stuck his hands in the pockets of his cargo shorts and waited.

  Footsteps that were a little heavier than normal, then the door swung open and he found himself staring at Death.

  Holy heck,” he said before he could stop himself.

  “Mate.” Death looked him up and down.

  Okay, Ben might be wearing old cargo shorts and a faded blue t-shirt - sue him, he was on his day off - but Death looked like…well, hell. Ben blinked, took in the tall, skinny bloke standing before him studying him in turn.

  Dressed from head to toe in black, hair long and dyed black, lips black, thick black eyeliner, ghost white face. Like really white. Like shoved face-first into flour white. Even freakier were his eyes, the palest blue like chips of ice, almost white in fact. Freaky. And a little scary.

  “Mate,” Death said again. “You wanted something?”

  “Ah…” Surprise slipped into concern. Who the hell was this bloke and what was he doing in Flynn’s house? Surely he wasn’t Hell’s Granny? Hell’s Son, maybe, but not the Granny. “Flynn.” Ben straightened, peered past him. “Flynn here?”

  “Flynn here. Flynn in kitchen. Want Flynn?”

  Ben’s gaze shot back to the Goth. “Huh?”

  “Wait here.” The screen door slammed shut in his face and Goth Boy walked off. “Flynn! Knuckle-dragger at the door for you!”

  Knuckle-dragger? Bristling, Ben yanked the door open and walked inside. Immediately the faint scent of the fragrant oil with the little bamboo sticks on the hallside table wafted around him, the soothing atmosphere of pale lilac walls calming his senses. Or it would have if the hallway wasn’t cluttered with suitcases and he wasn’t so concerned about her.

  “Knuckle dragger?” Flynn’s voice floated down the hall.

  “Yeah. Him want Flynn.”

  “What are you on about?”

  “Don’t be a dickhead,” said another distinctly older female voice. “Speak properly, boy.”

  Hell’s Granny, maybe?

  Ben walked through into the kitchen just in time to meet Flynn heading towards the hall with a frown on her pretty face.

  “Ben?” Surprise quickly relaced with pleasure filled her eyes.

  As always, her pleasure warmed the cockles of his heart. “Flynn.”

  Goth Boy was leaning against the wall with a serious expression.

  Before Ben could ask anything, Flynn stepped to the side, placing one hand on his arm and gesturing to the occupant of the table. “Ben, this is Gram, my Dad’s mum. She’s staying for the week over Christmas. Gram, this is Ben, my friend.”

  By her appearance, the woman sitting at the table was definitely a wild child. Her white hair had a streak of blue down the middle like some kind of weird Mohawk, her glasses had glittery rims, her lipstick was red, and her eye shadow blue. Her tank top showed her lean arms and across the tank top were the words Hell’s Granny! with a flaming skull over each boob.

  Oh…boy.

  Gram smiled widely. “Well, aren’t you a hunk of spunk? Come over here and give Gram a kiss.” She winked. “Feel free to use tongue.”

  Ben’s stomach actually lurched. Did she really just-

  “Gram!” Flynn shook her head, smiled again at him. “She’s just kidding.”

  Gram’s eyebrows waggled up and down. “Honey, I am not kidding.”

  “She’s kidding,” Flynn repeated.

  Recovering his surprise - okay, shock, it was really shock - Ben nodded and managed a smile. “Hi…uh, Gram.”

  “Oh poop.” Gram sighed. “You’re one o
f them, aren’t you?”

  “One of what?”

  “A good bloke. A sweetie.”

  Ben sure wished Flynn thought so. In fact, that was the whole problem, Flynn thought of him as simply a good bloke, a friend, a mate. He wanted more, had, in fact, had a plan, but -

  “And this is my cousin, Dax.” Flynn waved a hand at Goth Boy.

  Attention diverted back to the matter at hand, Ben said, “Hi.” Wow, cousin? To perky Flynn? No way.

  Dax nodded.

  She turned to Ben, those lush lips curving, blue eyes bright with delight. “I have the best news.”

  It certainly wasn’t that hard to give her his full attention. “Mmm?”

  “I’m having family over for Christmas.”

  “That’s nice.” Damn, he’d been going to invite her over for Christmas lunch, just him and her. His shoulders slumped a little.

  “I thought it’d be great to be all together for Christmas.”

  “Lovely idea. Very thoughtful.” Damn. Damn damn damn.

  “And even better,” she added happily, “you’re joining us for Christmas as well!”

  “What? I am?”

  “Well, you’re alone this year, too. My Mum and Dad are on that cruise, and your family is interstate, your friends are away or working, so I thought it’d be perfect.” Suddenly uncertain, she hesitated. “Um…I know I didn’t get to officially ask you. I kind of just presumed…I mean, if you have other plans I understand.”

  Other plans? Sure, he’d been planning on a quiet twosome, but if she’d thought to invite him over as well at least she was thinking of him. Right? That was a step in the right direction. He could do Christmas lunch with Goth Boy and Hell’s Granny. Heck, for Flynn he’d do almost anything.

  So saying, his “I’d love to come” was completely heartfelt. “Thanks, Flynn.”

  She grinned, winked, thumped him on the bicep. “What are friends for?”

  Friends. Right.

  “Now, where are Gramma and Sally?” She looked around.

  Voices came from the hallway.

  “Ah. Here they are now. Good timing.” Beaming, hands behind her back, Flynn rocked backwards and forwards in her bare feet.