‘Where on earth are you?’ he asked, responding to the racket in the background.
‘Well, I’m on a truck with a Ganapati procession.’
‘What?’
‘Don’t bother, baby. I’ll explain when I’m at the airport and done with the security check.’
The procession organizers were so sweet that even without having the necessary permission, they took a detour and dropped me right at the airport entrance as cops rushed to the spot to check out the commotion. I thanked them profusely as a devotional song that was soon to be my favourite started playing on the truck.
Aap ko dekh ke, dekh dekh ke raz gaye yeh jaan,
Aap ki sund yeh, uth uth ke deti aashirwaad!
Oh Gannu deva, Gannu deva!
I smirked at the flabbergasted guard examining my ticket. ‘Ganapati Bappa dropped me to the airport.’
57
Airport. 7:40 p.m.
Gannu deva had safely delivered me to the airport. With twenty minutes left to go for the flight and despite being the last passenger to board, I had somehow managed to change into the clothes for the sangeet at the airport itself. A ground staff attendant was waiting for me outside the washroom to hustle me onto the waiting bus. In my black shimmery salwar-kameez, I looked like a shiny disco ball.
Just before the flight took off, Abhi called.
‘I can hear some flight announcement in the background. Thank God! I’ve been so worried. Are you okay? Have you eaten?’
‘I’m fine, Abhi,’ I answered distractedly. The seat belt was feeling too snug around my stomach and my netty shimmery dupatta had somehow hooked itself onto my co-passenger’s watch, and we were both tugging at it from either side.
‘Madam, my watch. Please be careful.’
‘I am being careful. Can’t you see?’
‘So much net you’re wearing. It is all coming onto my seat. Getting stuck.’
‘Would you like me to complain to the designer and share your feedback?’
‘Baby!’ I heard Abhi’s voice floating towards me and brought the phone close to my ear again. ‘Can you please not get into a fight?’
‘I didn’t start it!’
‘Never mind. End it,’ Abhi begged me.
Some more pulling and fidgeting later, the net relinquished the watch and I settled in to take the first deep, relaxed breath I had taken all day. As luck would have it, I was in a middle seat, having forgotten to do a web check-in earlier.
‘I can’t wait to see you, darling. Sania keeps asking me if you’ve come, as if she doesn’t know the flight time.’
‘Tell her I’m on my way then! By the way, the pitch went well.’
‘Oh shucks. So sorry. In my haste to see you bundled into the flight on time, it completely skipped my mind to ask. I’m sure you guys will get it.’ Then there was a long pause.
‘Abhi, stop working! Leave those mails for once. Have a drink, relax and keep one ready for me.’
‘Babe, I forgot to tell you!’
‘What?’
‘Nothing. Just hurry up. I’ve seen several hot women eyeing me.’
‘Oh yeah? Tell them a sixty-five kg woman’s on her way to sit on them. Let’s see what they can see around that view!’
Mumbai-Goa Flight FW 112. 8:10 p.m.
Munching on some peanuts, my eyes fell on an eager face above the backrest of seat in front of me.
‘Hi,’ I said to the boy who looked like he was around seven or eight years old.
No response.
‘I have farted,’ he blurted.
Since I didn’t know what to do with that piece of information, I smiled back.
‘I farted again.’
‘That’s amazing!’ I said encouragingly. I never could figure out what to say to kids.
An arm waved in from the seat next to him and tried pulling him down. He resisted. The arm yanked harder. The scream that emanated from his tiny mouth would have caused the plane to crash had the pilot not been in a soundproof cockpit. I put my hand on my stomach, wondering if RJ would enthral us with similar public performances and embarrass us for the rest of our lives!
The Radisson Hotel, Goa. 11:00 p.m.
After freshening up, I walked into the ballroom feeling slightly more fuelled. The place was resplendent in shades of white and gold. There were white flowers and intricate lanterns hanging in the corners. Some white artificial trees wrapped in twinkling fairy lights had been placed at the edges of the hall. The effect was simple, ethereal and stunning. I saw Abhi and my heart skipped many beats. As long as this feeling never changed, nothing else mattered. He caught my eye and gave me a dazzling smile. Then excusing himself, he started walking towards me – slowly and surely. Just like the day he had walked up to me on a beach, got down on his knees and put a ring on my finger.
‘Do you have any idea how stunning you look?’ he whispered as he hugged me tight, his other hand resting on RJ. ‘I have never seen a pregnant woman being checked out so much.’
‘Do you have any idea how tired I am?’ I yawned happily.
He kissed me on my forehead. ‘My poor baby. By the way, you must see Sania. She has been desperately asking for you.’
‘Everything okay?’
‘Well, it does seem that way.’
‘And Kabir?’
‘A little nervous but he is good. Look,’ he said, pointing towards the end of the hall. ‘They are both there.’
Sania was looking absolutely gorgeous in a peach-and-white lehenga. Kabir was complementing her in a white-and-gold sherwani. I felt an odd surge of pride and joy looking at them. Like they were my babies, getting onto the stage to perform at a school recital. It was finally happening! The two arch-enemies were going to be united for life.
I walked up to them.
‘How on earth are you looking this feminine and delicate, my stunning baby girl?’ I asked, hugging Sania.
‘Delicate? She was having whisky shots and roaming around without her lehenga in the room an hour ago!’ Kabir laughed.
‘Hey!’ Sania punched him on the shoulder. ‘I’m trying really hard for your mom. I can’t even abuse in peace. Some credit here please.’
‘All of it, darling.’ Kabir looked at her lovingly and planted a quick kiss on her lips.
‘Get a room, you guys.’ Abhi rolled his eyes, pretending to be shocked.
‘Talking about rooms, we have got you both upgraded to the suite. A small thank you for all the help.’ Kabir pecked me on the cheek. ‘Make full use of it, eh? Wink wink.’ He cleared his throat suggestively.
‘Honey.’ I looked at my tummy, then him. ‘There is definitely a baby in there and your friend flees in the other direction at the mere mention of the S word!’
‘I just don’t want to hurt you!’ Abhi protested.
Sania and Kabir laughed.
‘Are we done here?’ Abhi said, looking embarrassed.
‘Okay, okay! And anyway, look! There are Mani, Shoma, Ahmed and the others. Let’s go or I will throw up on each one of you. I have ready reserves!’ I announced as everyone started scurrying along.
58
Radisson Hotel, Goa. 10 September. 12:30 a.m.
While all I could manage was a general flailing of the arms and legs, Ahmed was now dancing topless with great abandon on ‘Sheila ki jawaani’. This was the first time I had seen his always well-hidden torso and I finally figured out why he kept it concealed. Shoma was gyrating with Sania on top of a table while some aunties sat around with their jaws dropping into their desserts.
Abhi and Mani were at the bar. Abhi had my drink in his hand – the small glass of wine I was allowing myself to celebrate. But before it could even make its way to me, a little terror on two legs came whizzing past Abhi, knocking his elbow. Abhi grimaced, the wine theatrically flew out of the glass and fell on the cream saree of a horrified auntie standing behind him, while the glass landed on the head of Sania’s bald chacha Suresh.
Meanwhile the little critter responsible f
or this mayhem, oblivious and still charged, was zooming his way towards another target with two fellow critters. They ran screaming and yelling from one end of the room to another. How could this pointless exertion possibly be fun? I had seen kids do this a hundred times in restaurants, hotel lobbies and malls. I decided to indulge my curiosity. While Abhi settled the mess, I would interrogate the perpetrator of the crime. Just as I made my decision, the wave of destruction zoomed past me. I reached out sideways and caught hold of the kurta of the little boy. The other two slowed down as well. He was holding five pieces of paneer tikka in one hand and six sticks of chicken satay in the other. Some red sauce was dribbling down the side of his mouth onto his kurta. He looked about six or seven years old.
‘You’re going to eat all of that?’ I asked him.
‘Yes.’
‘Your tummy won’t hurt?’
‘No. You want?’ He pushed one saliva-crusted tikka my way.
‘No thanks. You eat it. Okay, now tell me, why are you running?’
‘I don’t know.’ He shrugged nonchalantly.
‘Why are you both running with him?’ The other two giggled. They had taken matters a bit further and had platefuls of cake and ice cream with them.
‘Isn’t it more relaxing to sit and eat?’
They looked puzzled.
‘Do you know how tiring your lives are going to be? You will be running all through school. Then you’ll be running after girls. Then you’ll be running around like headless chickens trying to earn money. Then you’ll be running after the girl you want to marry. Then you’ll run around after your kids when you bring them to functions like this. Trust me. It’s very tiring! So why don’t you just sit and enjoy your food?’
By the time I was done with my speech, all three of them had burst out crying. I was mortified. What did I do? I could never figure out what to say to kids and the one time I tried, I had made them cry! Two irritated women ran onto the scene, clucking in my direction, like they were excommunicating me from the moms’ club, and led the bawling trio away.
3:00 a.m.
‘Baby, you’re slurring.’
‘Browniez and ice-cream moussssssssse is soooooo…’
‘Okay. Time to go to the room. Get up.’
‘No no. Edward was here.’
‘Who the hell is Edward!’
‘How would I know? Anyway, I want to dance some more.’
‘You can’t do that with your eyes shut.’
‘I’m just resting my eyes. They will open any moment now. Just wait.’
‘Baby, don’t be like this.’
‘But browniez and moussssssssse…’
‘That does it! Up you go.’
I was drifting in and out of sleep while walking back to the room.
‘I love you, baby.’ I giggled at Abhi. The bald uncle standing next to us in the lift suppressed a smile.
‘I love you too,’ Abhi whispered back. ‘But you definitely need to sleep now.’
‘Will you take me dancing even after RJ is born?’
‘Of course, T. Whenever you have time.’
‘Does that mean you are already expecting me to not have a life once I am a mother?’
‘I never said that.’
‘Hmm. But you did mean I won’t have any free time.’
‘Well, that’s what I’ve heard. That moms do not have any free time. Especially in the first few months.’
My eyes welled up with tears. ‘What if I go into post-partum depression and behave abominably?’
‘I won’t send you to an asylum. Promise.’
I decided to pursue the matter. ‘What if I’m so depressed that I never come out of it?’
‘I’ll pull you out,’ Abhi said softly.
‘And I don’t care about free time, but you-and-me time? We won’t even have that?’
‘Tara,’ he said, wiping my tears as the sympathetic uncle got off the lift. ‘Don’t cry. Why are you thinking about all that now?’
‘Because when you and I are together everything is okay. When you and I are apart nothing makes sense.’ I sniffled loudly.
Abhi hugged me tightly when we got off at our floor.
‘Baby, you do realize we are not dealing with a militant who will tear us apart, but a baby, right? And you are not being sent to the desert alone after having RJ. I’m right here.’
Abhi kept talking to me tenderly as he wiped my tears, took off my jewellery and my shoes.
‘Of course it will be tough. But this…’ he took my hands in his, ‘…will never ever ever change. I don’t know about clubbing and partying myself, but dance you shall. Once RJ is asleep, I’ll put some music on. You can start with some bhangra and hip-hop and end your wild night moving in my arms. Any night. Every night if you like.’
My head landed softly on the pillow and I drifted off into a beautiful tired sleep, happy in the knowledge that I would keep dancing.
7:00 a.m.
I woke up with a start. I could hear raised voices outside the door. I stretched and pulled myself out of bed to see what the commotion was about. Kabir, Abhi and Sania’s dad were in the middle of some heated conversation. They all looked stressed but stopped talking as soon as they saw me.
‘Sorry to have woken you up, T,’ said Kabir distractedly and then refocused his attention on Abhi. ‘I’m telling you. We did not have a fight. This is just Sania being Sania.’
My eyes widened. ‘Hold on. What did she do? Where is she?’
There was a moment of silence after which Uncle spoke up, wringing his hands in an obvious effort to control his emotions.
‘Sania’s gone.’
59
Radisson Hotel, Goa. 10 September 9:30 a.m.
‘I can’t understand where she could be.’ Kabir was tapping the table nervously. ‘And to be honest, if this is her “I need some space and time to think” bullshit, it is a really, really selfish thing to do.’
‘Kabir, calm down. You saw her to her room last night, right? She might have just gone for a walk,’ Abhi tried to reason.
Kabir sneered. ‘Walk? Three hours before the wedding? Without telling anyone?’
I was already feeling a bit queasy from my lack of sleep and exertion and this situation was making me want to throw up even more. I picked up a few bananas from the table, wore my shoes and slipped out the door quietly.
The Beach. 9:45 a.m.
The world was very different on the beach. It had no idea what was transpiring inside the hotel. The sun was pretty high up in the sky but it was sending out warm, mellow and balmy rays that lit up the white sands as I saw my feet disappear and reappear with each step. Some last few remaining boats were still out at sea, perhaps hoping for a few final catches. The birds were soaring in the clear blue sky.
After what seemed like a kilometre-long walk, there appeared a green patch of short shrubs in one far corner of the beach. On the edge of this patch sat Sania, in her shorts, with a bottle of beer. She didn’t see me coming as she was moodily staring straight at the sea. I reached her, panting and sweating with the labour of the long, hot walk.
‘Shame on you for making a heavily pregnant woman chase you around the beach. I could’ve easily been enjoying the lavish breakfast buffet in an air-conditioned room, but here I am nibbling on bananas like a monkey!’
Sania had a very forlorn look on her face when she looked up at me. ‘You know, it’s not like I don’t love him. I do. Like crazy. I just … I just don’t know if what I’m doing is right for me. I don’t know if I need to do this right now. This is a commitment for life.’
I whacked her hard on the hand. She yelped. ‘Hey! What was that for?’
‘Firstly, I didn’t get any sympathy despite making the pregnancy speech. Secondly, you say you don’t know? Seriously? Well then, welcome aboard the “I don’t know” express,’ I said, jabbing a finger at myself.
‘I don’t know if I will be a good mother. I don’t know if I will ever have my life back. I don’t know w
hat kind of career lies in store for me after this break. I don’t know if I will ever look like myself again. I don’t know if RJ will think I’m a great mother or if I’ll suck big time. I don’t know how we will manage our finances if I choose to take a longer leave. I don’t even know if Abhi and I will ever have sex again after my vagina becomes the size of a hotel room post delivery. The don’t-knows are all around, in everyone’s lives. If you let them run your life, you’re finished. The best part is, you don’t even have to give a damn, because you are hopefully going to marry one of the nicest guys on the planet. Who cares about me-time and personal space when you have someone to flood your heart with love and wash away all these doubts? Oh my God, I sound like a Hallmark card. Is any of this making sense to you?’
‘It actually is, you know.’ She nodded vigorously. ‘I think my problem is that I think too much.’
‘I’m going recommend you move from the creative to the planning department.’
She started laughing. ‘No seriously. I plan, I think, I rethink, I mull and I spoil everything, right?’
‘Absolutely!’
‘Well, thanks very much for the candour,’ she drawled. ‘And thanks for straightening me out as always. Love you!’
‘Love you too! Now pull the shutters down on that overactive brain of yours and go find Kabir before he decides to marry one of the hotel staff.’
Radisson Hotel Poolside. 5:30 p.m.
The wedding ceremony was beautiful but almost did not happen, since it took Sania two hours to convince Kabir that she really did want to marry him. Now we were all relaxing at the pool party after the wedding.
A smaller pool next to the beach had been decorated with twinkling tea lights while the larger one was filled with the wedding guests. Most of them were done with their dips except the younger lot who were splashing around with drinks in their hands.
‘T, you didn’t get into the pool at all!’ complained Sania, while straightening the towel she had spread out on one of the deck chairs we were sitting on.
‘I have no intention of being grabbed on to as a floatation device, which I am sure I will be if I wade into that pool.’ I shrugged nonchalantly and sipped my mocktail as everyone burst out laughing.
I Didn't Expect to be Expecting (Ravinder Singh Presents) Page 19