Torn

by Shelli Bowers

  STEPHEN

  “Dad, can I talk to you?” Stephen asked

  “Sure son, what’s up?”

  “Women!”

  “Oh, okay”

  “The only girl at our school that’s a descendant of the old chief is Alex, and she’s Devin’s mate.”

  “You’ve searched the whole school?” dad asked

  “Yep”

  “Hummm, this could be a problem. I know the number of descendants is shrinking. I didn’t realize that it was this bad. I will talk to the elders and see what advice they have. Maybe some of them have moved. We may have to do a broader search for them now. Have you asked Alex if she has any cousins?”

  “No, but I will. And dad, hurry the elders up on this. Alex is doing a good job of staying away from Devin right now, but I don’t know how long she will last. I need to know if there is a way to steal her from him. I don’t want their tribe to be the last of the wolves.”

  “Me neither, I’ll ask them tonight”. Dad answered.

  36

  ALEX

  The dreams are becoming more and more vivid now. It seems that the farther away from Devin I am the more potent the dreams are. I had a wonderful dream last night. Well, mostly wonderful. It seems Stephen always shows up and ruins them. Devin and I were walking hand in hand in the woods. He was telling me about the trees and plants. It reminded me of the time I spent with my grandfather. Like him, Devin was also telling me Indian legends and about the great battles that were won here. It felt right to be here with him. I could see his dimples he was smiling so wide. And I love seeing his dimples, it’s too cute. I stop him and turn him to me. I can see the surprise in his eyes. In all the dreams I have had, we had never done anything but hold hands. In this dream I wanted him to kiss me. I was letting him know that’s what I wanted. I stepped up on a fallen log so I could be almost the same height as him. He moved closer and put my arms around his neck. He brought me close to him, wrapping me in his arms. I could feel his breath on my neck and the press of his fingers in the small of my back. He smells so good. I could get lost in that smell alone. He brings his nose along my jaw line smelling my skin as he works his way to my lips. Just when his lips are to meet mine, I’m ripped away from him. I can feel strong hands squeezing my upper arms.

  “Let go of me”, I yell

  “I’m trying to keep you from making a mistake”

  I recognized the voice. It belonged to Stephen. Of course it would be him. No one else was ever in my dreams.

  “Let go of her” Devin growled

  “No”, Stephen snapped back.

  “What are you trying to protect me from Stephen?”

  “You have no idea what he has planned for you Alex”

  “And I guess you do” I said not keeping the sarcasm out of my voice.

  “Oh, I know exactly what he has in mind” Stephen said.

  “You don’t know nothing” Devin shouted.

  “I know you want to take her away from her family and friends.” Stephen snapped

  “I do not. Alex, don’t listen to him. He’s trying to ruin this.” Devin was pleading.

  “I don’t believe that Devin means me any harm” I told Stephen trying to wrench out of his grasp.

  “I’m sorry Alex, this is for your own good. I have to show you what will happen if you love him.” Stephen said.

  “LET GO OF HER” Devin shouted again.

  “Come over here and make me” Stephen taunted.

  I felt Stephen release my arms and I was suddenly pushed to the side. When I righted myself back to face the boys, they were gone. I could here them moving through the brush. Very fast and very viscously. I called out after Devin. No one answered and no one came back. I was left in the woods alone and crying. That’s when I woke.

  I’m not getting much rest. I know that I’m asleep, but the dreams rob me of my rest. I’m always tired. I’ve tried taking over the counter sleeping medication to see if it would help, It didn’t. Thanksgiving break is coming up soon. Hopefully I can use that time to catch up.

  36

  STEPHEN

  “Dad, it worked” Stephen told his dad as he came downstairs for breakfast.

  “Well, I’m glad it did. The medicine man thought you were too young and not strong enough for it to work.”

  “Well, it did. I kept her from kissing Devin in the dream last night. I know if I can get her attention turned from him she will come back to me. I just know it.”

  “I hope your right son. I have the elders doing a broader search just in case. They can call the spirits to guide them on their search. If there’s anymore out there, they will find them.

  “Well, in the mean time I’m going to have a ball with this dreamwalking thing.”

  “Just be careful. You know the medicine man told you it could be dangerous. Don’t hurt the girl in the dream, it could manifest for real. And be aware of your emotions at all times. The dream state enhances all underlying emotions and makes them stronger or more prominent. Use wisdom son, at all times.”

  “I will dad. Are the elders sure that Devin can’t physically be harmed in the dream?”

  “They said that only the focus of the ritual, which would be Alexis. Why?” dad asked

  “Because Devin and I had a little run in last night in the dream. He wasn’t too happy with me for interrupting his little love fest.”

  “No, it shouldn’t, but please be careful. You know that this ritual hasn’t been used for a long time. The medicine man barely remembered anything about it. So we don’t know for sure what will and will not happen. The spirits can be unpredictable at times, especially the spirit that guides the ritual.”

  “I’ll be careful dad. But I have to tell you, it was quite a rush roughing Devin up last night.”

  “I bet it was”, dad said with a smile. “But if you have any problems or if anything doesn’t feel right, talk to me immediately. Ok?”

  “Sure dad, no problem. Don’t worry so much.”

  37

  CAMILLE

  “Alex, are you feeling ok? You look like crap.”

  “Gee thanks, Camille”

  “Oh, don’t take it personal Alex, you know what I mean.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean. I haven’t been sleeping to good lately. These stupid dreams are robbing me of any sleep at night. I know you have to be asleep to dream, but it feels like I’ve been up all night.”

  “Are you still dreaming about Devin?” Camille asked

  “Yeah, but the dreams have changed lately. Stephen’s in them more now, and he’s always fighting with Devin. I wake up so scared sometimes I’m afraid to go back to sleep. “

  “Have you tried taking something?”

  “Yeah, but it doesn’t help”

  38

  ALEX

  I’m walking through the forest. It’s almost dark outside, and I seem to be lost. None of my surroundings look familiar to me. I’m beginning to panic. How did I get here and why am I here.

  I start to run, but I don’t have shoes on so I’m not making much progress in the thick underbrush. The tree’s tower into the sky, blocking what little light is left. My feet hurt and I can’t seem to catch my breath. The air is very hot and humid. My gown clings to my skin. It’s damp with sweat and dew. I’m trying to remember what my grandfather told me about finding my way in the woods. My mind is a blank. I sit down on a fallen tree and start to cry. I don’t understand how I got here. Did someone bring me here? I can’t remember. I hear a snap come from behind me. I whirl around to see what it is. There’s all kinds of wild animals here in the woods.

  As I scan the tree line I spot a familiar pair of eyes. It’s the dog from my back yard. I call to him hoping to gain a little comfort from the beast. “Come here boy, come on” I say to the dog. He’s inching his way to me very warily. He’s about 10 feet from me now and I feel some of the tension start to leave my shoulders. “Come on, come here boy” I say again extending my hand for him to sniff. He starts t
o growl a little so I pull my hand back, but the growling gets louder. His attention is focused somewhere else. He takes more of a defensive stance as he faces away from me. I peer into the darkness, unable to see anything. Suddenly, a huge black dog with horrible green eyes launches itself at the brown dog. It’s dark so I can’t see what’s going on. I hear growls and snarls and whimpers. I want to help the brown dog, but I’m afraid. The dogs roll back into view, and I can now see that the black dog has the brown dog by the neck. The brown dog is losing the fight. I cry out NO! But it’s too late. The brown dog is dead. The black dog turns it’s green eyes on me. My heart stops. Is it going to kill me too? If I stand real still maybe it will leave. It just stares at me with those eyes. They seem familiar, but I don’t know why. It stalks towards me. I’m silently crying again. Hot tears are pouring down my face. Partly from the fear and partly for the brown dog. The black dog sniffs at my legs. I never realized how big it was until it was standing next to me. It came to my waist and I’m tall. I’m standing frozen. The black dog grabs the end of my gown and starts pulling at it. I try to hold my ground. He gathers more of it into his mouth and pulls in one swift motion. The gown tears away from my body. I’m now standing in my underwear. I fall to my knees. I have no more energy to fight this. I glance to the brown dog, but he’s gone. Instead of the dog there’s a naked body laying there. I can see the blood covering most of his body. His face is turned away from me. I notice that he has a scare that stretches across the lower part of his side and back. I glance back to the black dog. He’s standing there staring at me. A cold chill runs up my skin. He comes closer to me sniffing and running his muzzle through my hair. I keep waiting for him to bite my throat at any second. Instead I feel his long hot tongue run up my back. It sends shivers all over my body and I start to sob uncontrollably. He paces around to face me once again. He runs his tongue across my face this time and I can’t help but scream. I can’t stop screaming. I wake up screaming. My mom burst through the door in a panic.

  “Alex, Alex what happened?” She said. She grabbed my shoulders and shook me a little while she screamed my name.

  “ALEX! ALEX!” I heard her say, “Its okay honey, it was just a dream”

  Just a dream I thought to myself. Just a dream. I fall into my mothers arms and cried. She soothed me and comforted me until I got the sobs under control.

  “Alex honey, what happened?” she asked.

  “Bad dream” was all I could manage.

  “Honey, what happened to your clothes and why are you so dirty?” she asked with panic in her voice.

  “Huh?”

  “Look at yourself Alex.” Mom said.

  I was now terrified all over again. I slowly looked at my hands. They were covered in mud. My gown was gone. All I had on was my underwear. There was mud on my feet and now all over my bed. “It was a dream. It was a dream!” I screamed. Mom just held me tight until I quit crying again.

  “What happened in your dream sweety?” mom asked

  I told her every detail of the dream. She held me and I cried. At some point I must have fallen back to sleep. When I woke up this time I was tucked in my bed, but mom was asleep in the chair next to the bed. I thought about the night before and the terrible nightmare I had. I pulled the covers back to get up and I saw all the mud. I thought it was a dream. It was just a dream I kept telling myself. But even I wasn’t believing it. I guess I started crying again, because mom woke up and came to me.

  “Oh, honey. What happened last night?” She asked as she took me in her arms again.

  “I don’t know mom,” I sobbed. “I thought it was a dream. Where did all this mud come from? It was just a dream.” I kept saying hoping that it would come true.

  About mid day I finally managed to get myself together. I got a shower and mom took the sheets off the bed to wash. I met her down in the kitchen for a bite of food.

  “Mom, do you have any idea what happened to me last night?”

  “Honey, I don’t have a clue. I’ve never heard or seen anything like it. I’m really worried. Are you sure no one came into your room last night?”

  “Not that I remember mom. I went to bed and the next thing I know I wake up screaming. Mom, I’m scared.” I told her as the tears came again. “I’ve been having dreams for months now. I dream about Devin almost every night. Stephen is in some of those dreams too. The brown dog is there but never this black dog. It was huge mom. I’ve never seen a dog that big.”

  “It’s probably only that big in your dream. “ Mom said.

  “Something weird has been going on with me for months now. I have to find out what it is. This is going to drive me crazy. I guess there’s some kind of explanation for all this.”

  “Are you sure you weren’t hurt in your dream? Mom asked

  “No, I woke up before the dog could do anything to me but lick me. And it wasn’t a friendly kind of dog lick. It was almost like he was tasting me.” A cold chill ran up my back when I thought of it again.

  “I called the school and told them you were sick.”

  “Ok, thanks mom.

  “ I’m going to do some research on the internet and see if I can find anything at all to explain this. Why don’t you try and get some rest while I’m here to watch you. I’m sure you’re tired.”

  “Ok, I think I’ll lay on the couch next to you.”

  “Ok, sweety. We’ll figure this out.

  I finally slept. No dreams.

  39

  STEPHEN

  The medicine man had come to me to explain what he knew about dreamwalking. He told me what herbs I needed and taught me the ancient chant that would summon the spirits. He warned that I could only be suspended in the dream world in very short periods of time. Otherwise I ran the risk of being trapped there. He is always too cautious about these things. The older tribe members were very cautious about teaching the younger members any of the ancient ways. Like we couldn’t handle it. I almost never talked him into giving me the instructions. If dad hadn’t insisted he probably would never had given the information up.

  What he didn’t tell me was how absolutely exhilarating the whole experience was. I felt invincible. I had killed Devin in the dream. The medicine man said that the only “real world” physical affects would be on the subject that I had chosen at the beginning of the ceremony. So, I could kill Devin in Alexs’ dreams and it didn’t really happen, but God it felt good. He also warned that any emotion would be intensified with the dreamwalk. I guess that’s why I enjoyed killing Devin so much. In theory, a little hatred would turn into rage. The whole process requires a lot of energy. I will only be able to try this about twice a week.

  I wasn’t sure how the dream affected Alex. I hadn’t really went to her dream to kill Devin, I wanted to go and convince her to be with me not him. The mind is supposed to be more susceptible to persuasion in dreams. I will have to focus my energy a little better next time.

  I told dad about the experience this morning before I went to school. He was proud that I was able to do it. The medicine man wasn’t so sure it could be done by someone so young. I saw Devin first thing when I got there, so I knew I hadn’t killed him last night. But Alex wasn’t’ at school today. I will have to ask Camille about it later.

  40

  ALEX

  The next day I managed to make it to school. I had a terrible night last night. I didn’t wake up screaming and crying but close. Camille’s suppose to be waiting for me out front this morning. She’s really worried about me. I don’t blame her, I’m worried about me too.

  “Hey Alex, feeling better?” Camille asked

  “No, but I had to try and make it to school today. I can’t afford to miss so many days. I can’t blow college now, especially over a few bad dreams. I have been missing so much school lately that I’ll be lucky to graduate. I have a ton of make up work to do. Luckily mom’s talked to the principal and the nurse and they are being reasonable so far. If I don’t get some rest it’s not going to make any d
ifference. I can’t concentrate or even think about tomorrow. It takes all my energy to get through today.

  “You had another bad dream?”

  “Yeah, but they’re getting way worse. I have to tell you about it. I’m really getting scared now. Do you think that we could ditch 1st period so we can talk?” I asked her.

  “ I thought you were worried about missing any more classes?”

  “I am, but what’s one more class. I really need to talk to you.” I was practically begging her to ditch with me. I was desperate to talk to her about this. It’s nice that I can talk to mom, but I needed a fresh perspective on it.

  Camille finally agreed so we went to hide out in my car during first period. I started telling her about the dreams. At first I told her about just the dreams, but I knew I had to tell her the rest. I slowly raised the sleeves of my shirt to reveal to bruised handprints on my arms.

  “These are from a dream I had 3 nights ago” I told her

  Of course she’s just looking at them with shock.

  “Did you do that to yourself during the dream” Camille asked

  “Look at the direction of the prints Camille”

  “It looks like someone grabbed you from behind”

  “Yeah, how could I do that to myself? Plus that’s exactly what happened in my dream. Stephen grabbed me from behind to hold me back from Devin. Now do you see why I’m so scared?”

  “Oh my god Alex. Have you told your mom?”