Ticket 1207

by Robin Alexander

  “No, I’m not in the party mood. I just came to get my brother a shrunken head. I think that would make a good present.”

  “You ain’t after no head. Momma been on you, makin’ you think. You’ve come for your heart’s desire.”

  Jill grinned at the foolishness. “You aren’t my type. I don’t like women who wear animal prints or feet.”

  Theo wagged a finger at her. “You got walls all around you, girl. One day, they gonna crack, and you gonna break up right along with them if you don’t deal with yoself.”

  “Are you a psychiatrist, too?”

  “Almost. I had to drop out of medical school when Momma took ill.”

  Jill gave Theo a wary look. “Are you kidding me?”

  “You don’t believe a word I say anyway. It’s late, so let’s get down to it,” Theo said as she scribbled something on a piece of paper.

  Ticket 1207 belongs to yo heart’s desire. Jill sighed as she read it twice. “No magical spritzes, no incantations. You just pulled one of our claim ticket numbers out of your ass.”

  “That ticket belongs to the one you looking for. Now get on outta here before you make me mad.”

  “Sure,” Jill said dejectedly.

  “Take a head on your way out, that’s a bonus. It ain’t real, though.”

  “Nothing is,” Jill said softly as she snatched the trinket and left.

  She crossed the street and was halfway up the stairs to her apartment before temptation got the better of her. Her footfalls echoed on the stairs as she went back down into the shop and booted up the computer. After she typed the ticket number, a familiar name popped up on the screen. “Shawn,” Jill whispered.

  With her eyes closed, Jill thought back to the last time she saw Shawn, and it was the day Theo first came into the shop. Shawn’s repair envelope lay on the counter for anyone to see. Jill clamped her lips together tightly before saying, “Good one, Theo.”

  *******

  “Theo Brasseaux’s Shop of Voodoo, Madam Theo speaking.”

  “Do you have a back door?”

  “And Prince Albert in a can. You ain’t got good sense if you pranking on Theo.”

  “This isn’t a prank. I’d like to visit your store, but I don’t want anyone seeing me come in there. I’m on the side street, and it’s raining. Would you let me in?”

  “Look for a tiny black woman holding a big bat. Mess with me, and after I whip yo ass, I’ll put somethin’ on you that’ll make an ear grow outta yo chin.” Theo slammed the phone down and picked up “ol’ faithful.” “Silly-ass people ashamed of what others might think.” She rushed into the courtyard and threw open the gate. “I know you, and you always wet. Child, get yoself an umbrella. I ain’t got no towels.”

  “I have on a raincoat,” Shawn said as she followed Theo back inside. She pulled it off and draped it over a box in the storeroom. “I need help.”

  “It’ll cost extra if you got some disease on your private parts, and I ain’t applyin’ the mixture.”

  “Nothing like that,” Shawn said emphatically as she stayed behind one of the shelves, so as not to be seen from the street. “I need…I’m shy, I need something to make me come out of my shell. I need courage.”

  “Baby, it’s called a hurricane, you can get them in any bar in New Orleans.”

  Shawn ran a hand through her wet hair. “This is silly. I’m such an idiot.”

  Theo regarded her for a moment. Shawn looked like she was going to throw up or bolt for the door, maybe both. “Simmer down, I can give you what you need. I have to ask some questions first. Have a seat on the couch over there, ain’t no one can see you.” Theo grabbed a feather from behind her counter. “Yo answers have to be the truth, or this won’t work.”

  Shawn swallowed hard as she stared at the feather. “Okay.”

  “This courage you want, is it so you can talk to a woman?”

  “Yes,” Shawn said while she continued to stare at the feather as Theo waved it.

  “Is she stubborn as a mule with the personality of a dirty sock, and she works at the jewelry shop across the street?”

  “No…I mean, yes, if you’re talking about Jill.”

  Theo nodded. “That’s the one. Don’t worry, your bad tastes won’t ruin the spell.”

  “She’s really nice, I don’t think you…” Shawn’s eyes crossed as she stared at the feather waving in front of her face.

  Theo continued to shake it as she knelt down and pulled a small tin from beneath the couch and opened it. “Now you listen to Theo, girl. This is powerful stuff. Open yoself up to it. Hear what I say and believe it.”

  “Okay,” Shawn replied dreamily.

  Theo began to dance and chant, “I chi chi I chi chi,” as she waved the feather in front of Shawn’s eyes, all the while sprinkling white powder atop her head. “Do you feel the confidence welling up inside of you?”

  “Um…a little—no, actually.”

  “Child! Feel it. Say, ‘I am a confident woman.’”

  “I’m a confident woman,” Shawn repeated with absolutely no conviction.

  Theo swatted her on the nose with the feather. “Say it.”

  “I’m a confident woman.”

  “Feel it!”

  “I’m a confident woman,” Shawn said with a little enthusiasm.

  “You are not shy, you are a confident woman!”

  “I’m a confident woman.” Shawn punctuated the statement with a sneeze.

  “Feel it! Mean it! I am a confident woman, there is nothing I can’t do!”

  “There’s nothing I can’t do because I’m confident!”

  Theo swatted her in the face again. “Say it like I say it.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Child! A confident woman don’t apologize for something silly. Say it! I am a confident woman!”

  “I’m a confident woman! There is nothing I can’t do!”

  “Now yo gettin’ it. Do you feel it?”

  “I do! I’m a confident woman!”

  “Now go across the street and get yo girl!”

  Shawn’s blue eyes widened. “I don’t think I’m that confident yet.”

  “Well, shit.” Theo blew out a breath and dumped half the powder from the tin on Shawn’s head and started to dance. “Say it. I am a confident woman, and I’m gonna win the heart of that jackass.”

  “Okay, you’ve gotta stop calling her names.”

  Theo grinned and tapped Shawn’s forehead with the feather. “Now yo feelin’ it. Say it!”

  “I am a confident woman, and I am going to win Jill’s heart.”

  Theo nodded. “You are. You need one more thing.” She walked over to the counter, unlocked a box, and withdrew an amber vial. “Sprinkle this on her food, and she will be yours forever.”

  Shawn stared at it wide-eyed as Theo placed it in her palm. “What is it?”

  “It won’t hurt her. That’s one of Theo’s most potent love potions. Her heart will always be yours.”

  *******

  Rene’s smile vaporized as Shawn walked in the door. She was wet, and it looked like someone had tried to mix up biscuit batter on her head. “Hi, Shawn…how’re you today?”

  “Awesome,” she said as she looked around. “Where’s Jill?”

  “She had to run some errands, and she’s going to pick up lunch.”

  Shawn looked at her wrist out of habit. “What time is it?”

  “A little past eleven. You want another towel?”

  “Oh, no, I’m fine. That reminds me, I need to return the last one you loaned me. How long has Jill been gone?”

  “About ten minutes, she probably won’t be back until around one.”

  Shawn was disheartened by the news, she needed to get back to work, but she was feeling good and wasn’t about to back down. “I’ll wait if you don’t mind.”

  “I really don’t, but…what happened to you?”

  “Nothing, why?”

  “You need to have a look at yourself.” Rene pointe
d to the door at the back of the store. “Go through there, the restroom is on the right.”

  The look on Rene’s face conveyed to Shawn that she really didn’t need to question the offer. She walked behind the counter, through the door, and into the bathroom. When the light came on, she staggered back from the mirror. “Shit!”

  “You want that towel now…and some shampoo?”

  *******

  Whatever was in Theo’s special dust made Shawn’s hair stiff as a board, even though she washed it three times. She buffed it with a towel, and it stood off her scalp like a troll doll. She stepped out of the bathroom in a panic. “Rene, you wouldn’t happen to have a hat, would you?” she called out. But it sounded like there was a multitude of voices in the showroom.

  Shawn stepped back into the bathroom and tried to tame her mane, but the drier it became, the higher it stood. “Shit,” she whispered. In desperation, she wrapped the towel around her head like Theo’s turban and tried the back door. The deadbolt locked with a key, and it was nowhere in sight.

  Rene dropped the pen she was holding on the counter when Shawn stepped into the showroom. From beneath the towel, locks of hair pointed in all different directions. Shawn mouthed “thanks” and pointed to the towel as she made a hasty retreat.

  On the ride back to her office, Shawn marveled at the fact that she really did feel more confident. That was a far cry from earlier when she’d stood on the sidewalk too chicken to go into the jewelry store and speak to Jill. She’d lost her nerve and was on her way back to her work truck when saw a sign hanging on the gate behind Theo’s store that read: Block this driveway, and I’ll put something on you that’ll make your whole body smell like some stank ass feet. Theo Brasseaux’s Shop of Voodoo.

  “I’m an intelligent, educated woman, not bad-looking.” Shawn smiled. “Hot, according to Vera,” she said as she sat up straighter. “I’m a confident woman.”

  She chanted the mantra, slapping the steering wheel to accentuate her point. At a stoplight, she happened to glance at the vehicle next to her. An elderly couple stared back at her like she was insane. Shawn rolled down her window and smiled. “I’m a confident woman.” The old man in the passenger’s seat poked his wife in the arm, and she stomped the gas as soon as the light turned green.

  Shawn turned into the parking lot of her office building, and unfortunately, the rain had stopped. She’d planned to stroll slowly in hopes that her hair would become soaked by the time she got to the door thinking it might slick it back down. She decided to handle the crisis with a ball cap she dug out of the backseat, but her hair was so stiff that the hat looked like it sat six inches off her head.

  “Shawn, what the hell did you do to your hair?” one of her colleagues asked as she walked through the door.

  “Rain—too much mousse. Don’t look at it,” she said as she sprinted down the hallway.

  *******

  The store was bustling with Christmas shoppers when Jill returned. She quickly set their lunch in the back and returned to the counter to wait on customers. It seemed that when one wave left, another came in. The food was eaten bite by bite whenever one of them could find a second to run into the back of the store, and by the day’s end, Rene and Jill were exhausted.

  “We did good today,” Jill said as she nibbled on a roll.

  “Yeah, the real Christmas rush has begun.” Rene kicked off her shoes and rubbed her feet wearily. “Oh, I almost forgot, Shawn came in here looking for you just after you left.”

  Jill stopped chewing and swallowed half of the roll that she’d stuffed into her mouth. “Did she break something else?”

  “No, or if she did, she didn’t say. Her number’s in our system, maybe you should call her.”

  Jill still had the slip of paper that Theo had given her. She wasn’t sure why, but when she was getting dressed that morning, she’d found it on her kitchen table and stuffed it into her pocket. She’d been played by Theo, of that she was certain, but a seed had been planted nonetheless. Shawn was in her thoughts.

  “Does Nadia really believe in voodoo?”

  “Oh, yeah, and so do I, now that my hair is great,” Rene said as she fluffed it.

  “Do you believe in ghosts?”

  “Nadia does.” Rene made a face. “But I don’t want to. I don’t like the idea of Grandma Tanner floating around my room when Nadia and I are having sex. It would be a total mood killer to open my eyes and find her hovering above me with that disapproving scowl she always had. Dad said it was gas, but I think she was perpetually pissed off.” Rene shrugged. “Anyway, that’s why I always keep my eyes closed when we do it.”

  Jill pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes, astounded at the absurdity of her question. “I’m going crazy.”

  “Why?” Rene asked with alarm. “Have you seen Grandma? Is she in here? Oh, man, don’t tell me. Sometimes, I feel like someone is watching me when I adjust my bra or scratch my butt. It itches, you know? Winter always makes my skin dry, and it’s not like I go down into my pants or skirt. She’d always slap my hand if I scratched something she didn’t approve of.”

  “Grandma isn’t watching you, or any other dead person for that matter.” Jill gave her a dismissive wave. “I was just making…stupid conversation.”

  “Well, what about Theo’s momma and aunt? Theo has to wear a chicken foot around her neck to keep the aunt away. Maybe we should get some talismans just to be on the safe side.”

  “I am not wearing the foot of a dead animal around my neck, and if you do it, I’ll snip the cord that holds it. Theo is putting all sorts of weird and stupid ideas in our heads. It’s the power of suggestion. If she can make someone believe something, then her so-called voodoo magic works.”

  “How do you explain my hair?” Rene asked as she tugged at a curl.

  Jill made a face. “Do you really believe magic did that after you spent hours with olive oil on your head?”

  “Hey, I’m having some really good hair days, call it what you will.” Rene slipped back into her shoes. “I’m going home now. Nadia and I are wrapping presents tonight. Want me to lock up?”

  Jill nodded. “Please. Good night.”

  *******

  Jill dragged herself up the stairs to her apartment. She was a tad jealous of Rene. Nadia was sweet and absolutely adored Rene. Jill wished she had someone waiting on her to wrap presents as tired as she was, but the only things she had to look forward to were a hot bath and a glass of wine.

  She switched on the TV and caught Bing Crosby singing about a white Christmas. “Well, dream about something else, buddy,” she said as she changed channels. She wasn’t in the mood for holiday cheer. “Where’s the Scrooge or the Grinch when you need them? Show your green ass, Grinch.” But as she flipped through the channels, they were filled with the warm and fuzzy holiday shows.

  She tossed the remote onto the couch and headed for the kitchen for a glass of wine and stopped in her tracks when she realized that the cuckoo clock Grandma Tanner had given her had stopped at exactly 12:07. The cuckoo was on his little perch and had not gone back into its window. Jill stared at the time and said, “Bah humbug, Theo.”

  She poured a glass of cabernet, then decided to take the whole bottle into the bathroom. Her legs and feet ached from being on them all day. “I’m thirty-eight, and I feel like I’m ninety,” she complained as she turned on the water for her bath. “I’m talking to myself, and somewhere deep in the back of my mind, I’m afraid that Theo and her dead mother really are having conversations about me. That’s a sure sign of insanity.”

  As the tub filled, Jill stripped out of her clothes and tossed them into the hamper, all the while worrying that she was becoming Grandma Tanner, who mumbled to herself and dressed her dog in ridiculous outfits. Jill felt the one thing she had going for her at the moment was that she didn’t have a dog. She was sure as hell chatting herself up, though.

  “Ticket 1207 belongs to yo heart’s desire, my ass. Well, yeah, Shawn’s smok
ing hot, but that doesn’t mean I’m what she wants.”

  Jill climbed into the hot water with a groan and sank down to her chin as she recalled the day Shawn brought her watch in for another repair. She’d seemed more nervous than usual, but Jill reasoned that Shawn’s fidgeting may’ve been attributed to the fact that she was soaking wet and it was cold outside. She was probably fighting hypothermia. But she had the odd sensation that Shawn wanted something, and it had little to do with watch repair.

  As she sipped the wine and the hot water eased the aches in her body, Jill allowed her mind to at least consider the possibility that Shawn really was interested in her. Every time she came in with a broken necklace, watch, or bracelet, she lingered longer than most customers did, but when Jill made direct eye contact with her, Shawn looked away.

  “She’s got pretty eyes.” The statement echoed off the walls of the bathroom.

  They reminded Jill of March’s birthstone, pale blue with just a hint of green. She leaned her head against the back of the tub and stared at the ceiling as she thought about Shawn’s butt in those tight-fitting running pants and how perfect it was. And her thighs. The fabric clung to them and showed off the definition of muscle. Shawn was a magnificent blend of femininity and strength, and sadly, Jill wondered why someone like that would be interested in her.

  *******

  “I am a confident woman,” Shawn said repeatedly as she gazed at herself in the mirror. “Even when my hair is standing on end.”

  She’d washed her hair with dishwashing liquid, and it had taken some of the stiffness out, but part of it still rose off her head on either side, making her look like she had a pair of dog ears. She wondered if this was the true cost for Theo’s spell. To gain something, one must give up something else, in addition to fifty bucks.

  She’d called Theo and asked what was in the powder that she’d poured on her head, but Theo replied, “Fool, I don’t give out the ingredients to my most potent potions.” But she’d suggested that Shawn use dishwashing liquid on her hair, then olive oil. Shawn sighed, picked up the bottle of oil, and began working it into her scalp. Once her mane was slick, she wrapped it in a towel and plodded into the kitchen with an undeniable craving for salad.