Strength Enduring

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  Kameron came up to her and cupped her face. She immediately calmed even as her heart raced. How this man did that to her every time, she didn’t know.

  “I think I’m a little nervous, too. Before we take the next step, though, I know that you’re not a hundred percent okay with what happened today. I’m not either. A mating ceremony should be private. And I’m a very private person. And I know we didn’t perform a true mating ceremony today, but later, when the time is right, maybe just you and I can stand under the moonlight and make this happen again. Gideon can be there or not, he’s already blessed us. But for some reason, I’m more a man of tradition than I thought. And I don’t like the idea that something so tainted is the one ceremony we think of.”

  Tears filled her eyes, the sincerity in the depth of his emotions surprising her even though they shouldn’t. There was a reason she was attracted to this man, and it wasn’t just his sexy looks or the pull between them. He was so much more than the icy Enforcer.

  “I think I would like that. But this next part, I don’t know what I’m doing. So maybe I am that blushing virgin.”

  “The mechanics of mating? We can talk about that.”

  “I know about marking. I know about how when you mark my shoulder with your fangs it connects your wolf to me. And when I become a wolf, I’ll have to mark you, too.” She wasn’t going to comment on the latter part again because she wasn’t ready.” I get that part. I also get that we’re not going to use a condom because wolves can’t get diseases, and you can’t give them to me, and in order for our human souls to connect, we need that part of sex. I know that you’re not going to get me pregnant tonight. Or you shouldn’t. And I’m on birth control anyway so I should be okay. I get the mechanics. I just don’t know what’s going to happen once it’s over. And I think I’m nervous because I really want to kiss you, but we haven’t really gone past that.”

  He let out a breath, resting his forehead on hers. “What if we just let this be us? What if I kiss you now? What if you kiss me back? And what if I taste you? What if we let the temptation that we’ve both been ignoring come to the surface? I want to see you, want to touch you. I want to mark you as mine. I’ve always wanted to, even if we had our reasons to stay away. So let me kiss you, and we can just be us. We can worry about the other things later. Because I need to kiss you.”

  And because he said the exact right thing, she went up on her toes and kissed him, not wanting to wait any longer. Kameron growled against her lips, the soft bristles of his beard rubbing along her cheek as he nipped down her jaw.

  “Just us. Tonight. It’s just about us.” She breathed the words, practically panting at just being near him. He made her want, made her ache, and if they could have just this moment, then maybe they could have others, too.

  His hands roamed her body, going down to cup her ass as he rocked into her, his long, thick, hard erection pressing into her belly. She shivered at the contact, the anticipation of when he’d finally fill her breathtaking.

  “Fast or slow?” he asked, a caress of breath against her lips.

  She reached between them, grazing the back of her knuckles over the length of his cock. “How about both?”

  He licked her lips before gently biting down. “I like the way your mind works.”

  “Then how about you strip off your shirt because I’ve really liked the way you’ve been walking around without one most of the time. It’s played in my fantasies even if I’ve pretended it hasn’t.”

  He grinned at her, the action shocking her because he didn’t smile often, and it made his face look so different. He was sexy no matter what he did, but he looked…lighter when he smiled. As if he didn’t have the weight of the Pack and maybe even the world on his shoulders.

  When he stepped back and slowly undid each button on his shirt before letting the fabric fall to the floor, she sucked in a breath at the sight of him.

  He was all hard muscle, lean and tight. She wanted to lick every inch of him, and the realization that he was her mate and she could hadn’t sunk in yet.

  “You know, I’ve had a few fantasies about you walking around without your shirt, as well, but I’ve never had firsthand experience seeing that.”

  She raised a brow, not blushing, but totally turned on. This was about them, she reminded herself, no one else, and they could have fun if they wanted to. The real world could wait for them to have one evening together.

  “I’m wearing a dress, so you might have to help me. Oh, and by the way, with the lines on this, I’m not wearing a bra or panties. The dress came with a built-in bra, but I’m bare otherwise.” And she wasn’t the most endowed woman when it came to her breasts, so she could just barely get away with it in this dress.

  Kameron’s eyes went gold, and she knew that meant the wolf was at the surface. She’d never made love with a man who was also a shifter before—at least to her knowledge—and she knew this would be different.

  Perhaps harder.

  Perhaps longer.

  Perhaps…more.

  She couldn’t freaking wait.

  He prowled around to her back, and her breath caught. Then he slowly unzipped her, his warm breath on the back of her neck as he bent forward. The coolness of the room swept up her bare back, and she swallowed hard at the dueling sensations.

  When he slid his fingertips under the cap sleeves of her dress and pulled them down, she shivered in his hold. He slowly traced his fingers down her spine as the dress fell to the floor at her feet. The idea that she was completely naked before him while he wore only his suit pants made her want to go down on her knees to take off his pants…and then suck him down her throat because she wanted her mouth on him, just as she wanted his mouth on her.

  Their sexual chemistry had never been a problem, and the burning desire within her right then was a vivid reminder.

  “You’re so fucking beautiful.” He slid his fingers over the globes of her butt before tracing the crease of her ass with a single finger. She almost bent over right there for him but knew she wanted to see him naked first. She had priorities, after all.

  “I want to see you,” she whispered, licking her suddenly dry lips.

  He walked around her, kissed her hard on the lips, then went to his knees in front of her. “Soon.”

  Then he pressed his lips to her pussy, and she gripped his shoulders, her knees going weak. She gasped as he spread her with his fingers, licking and sucking at her until she had to put her weight on him or she’d fall. He explored her pussy, tasting her as if he were devouring a feast, making humming noises and growling as he continued to eat her out with abandon. And when he bit down on her clit, she came right there, unabashed and free.

  “Kameron. I need you. Now.”

  He rose to his feet, holding her close, his lips wet with her orgasm before he kissed her. She could taste herself on him, and she knew she’d gotten even wetter. His dick pressed against her through his pants, and it was all she could do not to wrap her legs around him and ride him like a pony. Her hands roamed his bare back, and his went to her breasts, cupping and pinching and turning her on even more.

  He licked and sucked over the wisp of flame scar below her breast, giving her a look that said he had questions, but she had no answers for him. She never had. But just the gentle act of him kissing and sucking on that mark almost made her come again.

  And then they were on the hardwood floor, his pants next to them as they explored each other’s bodies. He had his hand between her legs, fucking her with his fingers as she arched into him. Her hand was on his dick, her fingers barely able to touch he was so thick, and she knew he would fill her up to the point where she would probably have trouble walking later. And she didn’t care.

  When he hovered over her, his cock at her entrance, she spread her legs for him and pulled his head down for a kiss. There was nothing to say, no breathing, no words needed. Just him stretching her as he slowly filled her, inch by inch. She arched into him, her nipples pressing into the
hair of his chest. The sensation almost sent her over the edge; his body was so perfect for hers. It was as if every single step she’d ever taken had been for this moment. As if every choice she made had led to this path. She’d never been one to believe in fate, rather she had always been one to know that she might have to run from it.

  When Kameron met her eyes, she slowly ran the back of her hand along his jaw, across his cheek, and she knew that this moment had changed everything. Because they weren’t just doing this for the good of the Pack. Some part of each of them was doing this for the other—and for themselves.

  There were no words, there didn’t need to be. They spoke with their bodies, moving as one as they took it slow. They might’ve joked about taking it fast, but she didn’t want this moment to end. Because once it did, everything would change, and she would have to think about what came next.

  His fangs elongated, and she instinctively turned her head to the side, baring her neck. He slowly licked the part of her neck where it met her shoulder before biting down. His teeth slid into her skin, but it didn’t hurt. Instead, a rush of pleasure slammed into her, making her come around his cock. He groaned against her flesh, and they both continued moving their hips, slowly making love as they took each new step into what would be their future.

  And when he came inside her, she met his gaze, the gold around his irises so bright she knew she would never see anything like it again.

  Then something snapped inside her, a connection she’d never thought possible. The ice and heat of his soul wrapped around hers, the tumultuous chasm of pride and pain sliding deep into her pores. He was hers, and she was his. She knew him, knew him more than she ever thought possible.

  And that scared her.

  Because her soul knew his.

  And now the woman needed to know the man.

  The male above her was her mate. Now and forever. There would be no going back. There’d no longer be a time when she thought she could just remain human with just one foot in the world of the supernatural. Kameron was hers. For better or worse. And because of that thought, she turned her head away and kissed his neck. She couldn’t see the regret in his eyes, didn’t want to know if he felt he had been forced into this. She didn’t want to know that she wasn’t good enough.

  Because she hadn’t been good enough before this.

  And she wasn’t sure she could handle it if it happened again.

  Not with him.

  Not with Kameron.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Somehow, they made it back to his bedroom in the wee hours of the morning, and Kameron watched as Dhani slept beside him. He hadn’t meant to take her so roughly against the hardwood floor of his cabin, but he liked that they hadn’t gone traditional. Because nothing about them was traditional.

  He could feel her within him and could barely keep up with his own breathing. She deserved far more than a man who wasn’t sure he could give her anything. But he would try. He hoped he could. Because he had to keep her safe. And the more he felt her within him, the more he touched her, the more he knew that keeping her safe meant possibly keeping her safe from him. Because he wasn’t a nice man. He’d tried to be at one point. But when he tried to melt the ice, others died around him. And he couldn’t let that happen again. But he would try to do what was right for her.

  His heart beat rapidly, and he attempted to tamp down his wolf, but he knew he needed air. He needed to feel the moon on his skin, even if it was just a sliver at this point. There were still a few more hours of moonlight before the sun rose. He would use those. Dhani would be safe in his home, wrapped in sheets that smelled of them both, in a bed that had cradled them both.

  She was his mate—body and soul. And he hadn’t expected her.

  He hadn’t expected any of this.

  He gently laid a kiss on her brow, holding back a smile at the way she scrunched up her nose. He’d never watched her sleep before. He’d never been in the same bed with her before. Things were moving fast, even for how shifters worked.

  But they would make do. They would find their way. Because Dhani was one of the strongest women he’d ever met in his life, and he wasn’t going to take that—or her—for granted. Even if it hurt in the end.

  As carefully as he could, he slid out of bed and tucked her in again once he was out. He didn’t want her to get cold. This whole protective thing had always been a part of him, but he hadn’t known it would extend to the way he treated his mate. Perhaps he had hoped it would, but he hadn’t known. He couldn’t help but think about what would happen if she got hurt because of him. What if she died because of him?

  He fought to catch his breath as he staggered out of the house, completely naked, knowing no one would notice since it was so late and he was just going to shift soon anyway. He needed to run as a wolf, needed to feel the wind in his fur as he raced through the forest until his body and mind were one with the world around him. He knew some part of him was going to hate himself for leaving his mate in their bed the night of their mating ceremony, but he couldn’t stay and panic.

  He fell to his knees as soon as he got a few feet from the house, his hands digging into the soil. His body hurt, not from the exertion of the night before but from holding so much back. He was a shifter, far stronger than the woman who was still in his bed. He could break her without even trying, and he wasn’t only talking about her soul. She was so weak as a human, but he knew that she valued her humanity. As she damn well should. He valued who he was, so why shouldn’t she? Yet she was going to lose that part of herself when the time came, and he might hate himself for that.

  He let out a shaky breath, his body staggering under the weight and depth of the emotions. She was life itself. Deep. A breath of hope, energy, and strength. And he had spent his century on earth burying everything deep inside him that could possibly resemble what she was. Because he couldn’t be who he needed to be for his people if he allowed that energy into him. And now he was mated to the one woman who could break him.

  Perhaps it was time for him to be broken.

  Before he could think too hard on those thoughts, his cousin slid out from the trees wearing an old pair of sweats and no shirt. Kameron hadn’t seen Max like this since before the attack. He did his best not to look at the scars or the way Max’s arm had healed. The idea that his cousin was able to show any part of himself was a step that Kameron didn’t want to hinder.

  “Let’s go for a run.”

  Kameron nodded, and with that, Max stripped, went to his knees, and both of them started the shift. Kameron tugged on the cord that connected him to his wolf, bringing his wolf to the forefront. Shifting wasn’t easy. In fact, it was painful and long. He wished it were like in the old movies where everything was sparks of light and happiness, but the reality was nothing like that. Instead, his bones broke and reformed. Tendons snapped before tying themselves back together in new ways. His face elongated into the wolf’s muzzle, and soon, he found himself standing on four legs, fur covering his body as a wolf rather than a man.

  Max took just a bit longer since he wasn’t as dominant, and perhaps even longer than he had before the incident. But now, his cousin stood on three legs, his head raised high. And with one final nod, the two of them took off and ran as wolves, the moon pulling them.

  Kameron let the man go back, and the wolf come forward, going on instinct alone. He couldn’t think too hard when he was in this form, couldn’t let the man take over, or he would trip and stumble. Just like in his human form. He couldn’t let the wolf take over, or he would trip and stumble in different ways. Only now if he were to do so, he might injure Dhani, as well.

  And that wasn’t something he would allow himself to do.

  He and Max ran for an hour before his cousin headed back to his own place and Kameron loped towards his cabin. He didn’t know if Dhani would be up, but he hoped that she wouldn’t wake alone. However, as soon as he caught sight of her sitting on the porch with a cup of coffee in her hands, he knew she
must’ve woken up soon after he had left.

  He almost started to shift back but realized that she hadn’t seen him in this form before. Since he was both the man and the wolf, he wanted her to know both. He wasn’t sure if he was making the right decisions when it came to her, but he didn’t want to purposely make the wrong ones either.

  He walked right up to her on the porch and sat next to her chair. She didn’t look hesitant at all, and he knew that she knew who he was. After all, he could feel the bond between them pulsate as it tried to settle into what would be their eventual true mating bond.

  Right now, it was erratic. Eventually, they might learn if there were any more connections that came with it. Some mates could read each other’s thoughts. Others could send pulses of different emotions down the bond. And even more could sense exactly where the other was at any given time. He knew there were other powers that went along with some of the mating bonds, but it depended on the people involved. He had an inkling that his bond with Dhani wouldn’t settle completely until she was a shifter, and both of their wolves could find each other.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you as a wolf. Or maybe I have, but only in the distance. You’re quite pretty. But how do you not have hair all over your place?”

  He rolled his eyes, and she laughed. He was not a dog, but it wasn’t as if he could tell her that. She set down her coffee cup on the side table and loosened the blanket around her shoulders. She had put on his button-up shirt from the day before and wore no panties or pants. He held back a growl because not only did he not want her to be cold, he sure as hell didn’t want anyone to see her like this. He might’ve wanted to keep her safe before they mated, but it was nothing like his instincts now. And he’d be damned if he let anybody near her when she was just wearing his shirt. She was his, and the world would just have to get used to that.