Cowpokes and Desperadoes

by Gary Paulsen

  “Well, I see the daisies made it back.” Billy Ray stepped out of the shadows. “Did you wimps have a nice little walk?”

  Juan moved up behind the boys. “What makes you think we had to walk anywhere, Billy Ray?”

  Billy Ray coughed and stuttered. “I—I figured these city dudes would end up walking—that’s all.”

  “Well, they didn’t walk. Probably no thanks to you. In fact, they rode very well for their first time out.”

  “Who are you, Juan? Their mommy?” Billy Ray turned and melted back into the shadows.

  “At least now we know it wasn’t a ghost that let our horses go,” Dunc said.

  “No, it was a real-life sleazebag.” Juan ran her fingers through her hair. “But why?”

  “Maybe your uncle told him to, so we wouldn’t find the mining supplies,” Amos said.

  “He wouldn’t do that,” Dunc said. “Billy Ray must have thought this one up on his own.”

  Juan laughed. “The only problem with that logic is Billy Ray doesn’t have a brain.”

  Amos waddled toward the back door. “I’m going to do some serious soaking in a tub of hot water. As soon as possible.”

  Uncle Woody and Maria were waiting in the kitchen. Maria fussed over them and tried to get them to eat something.

  Uncle Woody smiled. “We were about to come looking for you guys. I hope you didn’t run into any trouble.”

  They looked at each other.

  Dunc spoke first. “Not really. We were in Ghost Canyon looking for your prize bull, and we stopped to eat lunch in a cave up there.” He watched his uncle’s face. The expression didn’t change.

  Dunc went on. “Anyway, while we were eating lunch, our horses managed to get loose. Juan didn’t have any trouble getting them back, though.”

  “Did you see any sign of the bull?”

  “No,” Juan answered. “We’ll try again tomorrow.”

  “We may not be able to try again tomorrow,” Amos groaned. “I’m not sure I can sit in a chair, much less ride a horse.”

  Uncle Woody smiled. “I really appreciate you boys helping out, but maybe tomorrow you should take it easy. Stay around here and help Maria.”

  Amos nodded gratefully. “Yeah, Maria probably needs someone to sample her doughnuts. I know it’ll be a tough job—but what the heck—I volunteer.”

  “I’ll race you to the tub,” Dunc said.

  “Right.” Amos inched his way up the stairs. “It’ll be the slowest race in history.”

  •9

  “You know, I think I may be getting the hang of this cowboy stuff.” Amos popped another doughnut into his mouth.

  “I don’t think eating jelly doughnuts as fast as Maria can put them on the table is what your average cowboy does all day.” Dunc brushed a crumb off his shirt and opened his notebook.

  “What are you writing?” Amos asked.

  “I’m making notes about the new evidence we uncovered yesterday about our case.”

  “I’m sorry I asked.”

  “Every good detective keeps a case notebook. When we become famous, these notes are going to be worth a lot of money.”

  “I don’t think I’ll hold my breath.”

  Dunc finished writing and slid the notebook into his shirt pocket. “If you’re through stuffing doughnuts in your face, we need to do some investigating. Juan and Uncle Woody are off working on the windmill. And thanks to you, Maria’s up to her elbows in flour. So now’s the perfect time.”

  “I’d really like to play detective with you, Dunc, but I’m busy helping Maria. She told me she appreciates my appetite.”

  “I don’t think that means she wants you to eat everything in sight.”

  “Okay, dudes, listen up.” Billy Ray strutted through the kitchen door with his chest stuck out like a peacock’s. “It’s time to go to work. Culpepper left instructions for you to clean the barn.”

  “We saw him before he left this morning,” Amos said. “He didn’t mention anything to us about it.”

  “That’s not my problem, chump. I’m only relaying the orders. You can find shovels and a pitchfork near the haystack. I’ll come by later and check on your progress.”

  “If you think we’re going to—”

  “It’s okay, Amos. Billy Ray’s only doing his job. We’d be happy to clean the barn. In fact, we’ll get started on it right away.” Dunc pulled Amos out the back door.

  “Are you crazy?” Amos yelled.

  “Keep your voice down.”

  “Keep my voice down? That guy is trying to get us to do his work!”

  “I know.”

  “You know?”

  Dunc nodded. “Billy Ray apparently wants us out of the way for a while. The question is, why?”

  “What’s the answer?”

  “I don’t know. But we’re going to find out.”

  “Does this mean we’re not going to clean the barn?”

  “Not exactly.”

  Amos shook his head. “I don’t get it. Are we cleaning the barn or aren’t we?”

  “One of us should stay here and work on the barn. In case Billy Ray comes out to check.”

  Amos’s eyes narrowed. “Which one of us cleans the barn?”

  “This could be a lucky break for us, Amos. I have a feeling about it.”

  “Me too. Which one of us cleans the barn?”

  Dunc stopped. “Let’s think about this thing logically. The one who stays should be the one who wants the experience of being a real cowboy. And the one who goes should be somebody who doesn’t have a long—make that a very long—history of falling over things.”

  “Are you saying I’m clumsy?”

  “Let’s put it this way: A wrecking ball is an amateur compared to you.”

  Amos thought about it a second. “Okay. But you get back here as soon as you’re through. I still have some serious food testing to do.”

  •10

  Dunc stayed in the shadows and worked his way back to the house. He inched up to the living-room window and peeked in. Billy Ray was talking in a low voice to someone over a shortwave radio.

  “Right, boss. Everything’s working the way you said it would. I’ll meet you in fifteen minutes at the old adobe house.”

  Billy Ray hung up and came flying out the front door. Dunc barely made it around the corner of the house in time to avoid being caught.

  Billy Ray went straight to his truck. He jumped in and took off before the truck door was completely shut. The tires sprayed gravel as he roared out of the driveway.

  Dunc raced back to the barn. He found Amos shoveling manure out of a horse stall.

  “Amos, something big is going on. I heard Billy Ray talking to someone on Uncle Woody’s shortwave radio.”

  Amos dropped the shovel. “It’s about time you got back. There are jelly doughnuts in that house with my name on them!”

  “He’s leaving now to meet with his accomplice and discuss their next move.”

  “So?”

  “I heard Billy Ray say his part of the deal was in the bag.”

  “Dunc, this thing is getting away from you—big time.”

  “If we were to follow Billy Ray to his meeting, we might bust this thing wide open.”

  “I have a better idea. Let’s go in the house, scarf down a few doughnuts, and wait for Juan and your uncle to get back. If they think it’s important, they can call the sheriff.”

  Dunc shook his head. “We can’t wait that long. Billy Ray already left.”

  “Hold it!”

  “What?”

  “Exactly how did you think we were going to follow him?”

  “That’s the tricky part.”

  Amos waited.

  “We can’t walk because he’s driving, and he’d get too far ahead of us.”

  Amos waited.

  “And neither one of us can drive. So I guess that means we’ll have to ride.…”

  Amos shook his head. “Forget it. There’s no way you’re going to get me on that
horse again. I’m sore in places I didn’t even know I had. I’ve decided my cowboy days are over. I’m going to spend the rest of my vacation helping Maria.”

  Dunc leaned back against the horse stall. “I understand, Amos. Really.”

  “You do?”

  “Sure. If we were to crack this case, Melissa would probably go a little overboard with the hero worship. She might lose control completely. Who knows what would happen then?”

  Amos thought about it. Not long. “Maybe I could put a pillow in the saddle.…”

  Dunc smiled and headed for the corral.

  •11

  Saddling the horses took longer than Dunc had planned. Gomer ran around the corral until Amos assured him he was the best-looking and most intelligent horse on the ranch, probably on the planet.

  Even after the saddles were on, things didn’t go too well. Dunc’s saddle turned sideways every time he stepped in the stirrup, and Amos put his saddle on facing the wrong direction.

  After about an hour and several more tries, they managed to saddle and bridle both horses. Before they left, Dunc pinned a note on the barn wall telling his uncle where they would be.

  Billy Ray’s tire tracks were easy to follow. They stayed on the main road for a few miles, then turned south up a canyon bed.

  Amos stood in the stirrups to avoid sitting. After a few miles he pulled his horse to a stop and stepped down. “I’ve changed my mind. Not even Melissa is worth this much pain.”

  Dunc stopped. “Just think, Amos. When they talk about this in the future—and they will—your name will be right up there with all the famous cowboys like Wyatt Earp, Pat Garrett—”

  “Calamity Jane. I don’t know if I can stand this much longer, Dunc. We’re talking major pain here.”

  “Listen—do you hear anything?”

  “Only the sound of my poor body begging me to go home and soak in a hot tub.”

  “Cows. I hear cows—lots of them!”

  Amos closed his eyes. “I hate to break it to you, but this is a ranch. There are supposed to be cows on it.”

  Dunc rode around the next bend. “Not this many in one place. Come up here and have a look.”

  About a hundred head of cattle were contained in a makeshift barbed-wire corral. Billy Ray’s old truck was parked in front of a falling-down adobe house, along with a brand-new black and silver pickup with dark tinted windows.

  Dunc stepped off. “We’ll tie our horses over there behind that boulder. We need to get closer. If we keep low and move through the cows, I don’t think they’ll spot us.”

  Amos looked at the cattle. One of them stood out. He was twice the size of the others. He snorted and pawed the ground. “Dunc, do you remember that bull your uncle lost? I think we’ve found him.”

  “El Diablo?” Dunc swallowed. “I wouldn’t worry about him. He’s probably just your basic harmless bull. We’ll try and work around him.” Dunc started toward the cows. “Are you coming?”

  Amos was about to tell him how stupid the whole idea was—when he heard a rattling sound at his feet.

  “Snake!”

  Amos plowed over the top of Dunc, burying him facedown in the sand. He hurdled the corral fence and landed on his knees. He looked up—straight into a pair of big, ugly, bloodred eyes.

  El Diablo snorted, and steam came out of both nostrils. He lowered his head and pointed his long horns in Amos’s direction. Amos rolled under the fence just as the bull charged.

  Dunc was waiting on the other side. “Amos, you were supposed to work around him. Now you have him mad!”

  Amos opened his mouth to tell Dunc exactly what he thought about him and the bull, when he felt himself being lifted off the ground.

  Billy Ray and a man who was roughly the size of a house stood over them. The giant had Amos by the collar.

  Billy Ray grinned. “Boys, meet Bubba.”

  Amos tried to get his feet to touch the ground. “Nice to meet you, Mr. Bubba—sir. Actually, we were just leaving.”

  Billy Ray sneered. “Not hardly. Bring them along, Bubba. The boss will know what to do with them.”

  Bubba grabbed Dunc with his free hand and easily carried them both into the house.

  A heavyset man wearing an expensive black suit was seated at a table studying a map. He stood up when he saw the boys. “What’s going on?”

  “We found us some snoopers, Mr. Grimes.” Billy Ray spat a wad of tobacco onto the floor. “Do you want Bubba to squash ’em?”

  Dunc dangled from Bubba’s hand. “Are you J. B. Grimes? The bank president?”

  “Billy Ray, you idiot! Now they’ve seen me. They can tie me in with all this.”

  “I’m sorry, Mr. Grimes. I guess I didn’t think of that.”

  “That’s your problem, Billy Ray—you don’t think. Mr. Cookson will be here shortly, and if he sees them, everything will be ruined.”

  “You want Bubba to squash ’em?”

  “Don’t be moronic. Lock them in the old outhouse until Cookson leaves. Then we’ll decide what to do with them.”

  Bubba carried them outside. He opened the door of an old dilapidated outhouse and pushed them in.

  “What are you going to do with us?” Amos asked.

  Billy Ray picked his teeth. “Bubba likes to squash people, so don’t do nothing stupid. Keep your mouths shut until after Mr. Grimes’s guest leaves.” He shut the door and barred it from the outside.

  Amos sat down on the wooden bench trying to avoid the hole in the middle. “It smells in here. Bad.”

  Dunc sat on the other side. “I know, Amos. I’m working on a way out.”

  “Maybe we ought to stay.”

  “What?”

  “Bubba squashes people.”

  “Billy Ray only said that to scare us.”

  “It worked.”

  Dunc tapped his chin. “Do you remember when my grandpa Culpepper came to visit us? I think we were about six.”

  “I think the smell in here is affecting your brain.”

  “It was Halloween, and he was telling us what kids used to do for fun on Halloween when he was young. Do you remember?”

  Amos sighed. “I’m positive you’re going to tell me.”

  “They pushed over outhouses.”

  “You’re not thinking of—”

  “Why not? If we start rocking it from side to side, it’s bound to fall over.”

  Amos stood up. “When your grandfather and his friends pushed over those outhouses—were they empty?”

  “I suppose.”

  “This one isn’t!”

  “I know that, Amos. But if we do it right, it’ll fall gently over on its side, and nobody will get hurt, and we’ll be free. It’s worth a try. Besides, who knows what Bubba will do to us after Grimes finishes his business with Mr. Cookson?”

  “I guess you have a point.”

  “Okay. We’ll push on my side first and try to get it rocking back and forth.… Ready? Go.”

  The rickety outhouse groaned and shuddered on the first push. By the third push, they had it rocking.

  “Get ready, Amos. It’s going ov—”

  Dunc slid into Amos, and the outhouse fell over with a loud crash. The walls were so old, they collapsed on top of the boys.

  Amos lay flat on his back covered with pieces of the outhouse. He could feel something warm licking his face. He opened his eyes. It was Suzy, making sure he was still alive.

  •12

  Amos blinked and sat up. Dunc groaned next to him and rolled into a sitting position. Amos pushed a last board away and found himself looking up at Uncle Woody.

  “What are you doing here?” Amos asked.

  Uncle Woody patted the boys on the back and helped them up. “You boys really saved the day. It’s a good thing Juan found your note telling us where you were, or we might not have been able to get the sheriff here in time. Grimes was ready to ship the cattle out.”

  Nearby, the deputies were escorting Banker Grimes to the patrol car. Billy Ray
and Bubba were taking turns telling the sheriff everything they had done wrong since they were born. It took a while, but they eventually got around to this particular crime.

  Grimes had hired them to help put Uncle Woody out of business by stealing his cows, convincing his help to quit, and reporting every move he made.

  Grimes had stumbled onto a preliminary report prepared years ago by a small mining company suggesting the strong possibility of a uranium strike on the ranch, near Ghost Canyon. To investigate it, he had hired Charlie Cookson over the phone, pretending to be the owner of the ranch, Woody Culpepper.

  Dunc beamed. “We’re glad we could help.” He looked at Amos. “Right, Amos?”

  Amos glared at him.

  Dunc elbowed him. “Right, Amos?”

  “I guess so.”

  Charlie Cookson walked over and shook hands with Uncle Woody. “I’d like to apologize, Mr. Culpepper. I had no idea I wasn’t dealing with you. I should have been suspicious, I suppose, but a lot of my clients demand strict confidentiality, so it didn’t seem all that unusual.”

  “It worked out okay,” Woody said. “Tell me, just how big is this strike, anyway?”

  “It’s big. Maybe even the biggest in history. You could be a very rich man, Mr. Culpepper.”

  The word rich caught Amos’s ear. He moved closer to Uncle Woody. “You don’t have any children, do you?”

  “Amos.” Dunc elbowed him again.

  “I only wanted to let him know I’m available.”

  “That’s great, Amos.” Uncle Woody smiled. “I’ll keep you in mind.”

  Juan rode up, leading their horses. “Sure, Amos, you could come out here to live. That way you could ride old Gomer every day.”

  Amos spun around and started walking toward the truck. “On second thought,” he yelled over his shoulder, “my parents would probably be heartbroken. I know my sister would miss me terribly. And my dog—well, he loves me so much.”

  Dunc grinned and started after him. “And the moon is made of green cheese, Santa Claus is real, Elvis is alive.…”

  Be sure to join Dunc and Amos in these other Culpepper Adventures: