Fumbling Perfect (Raymere Grove Series Book 1)

by Nikki Kwiatkowski

  He watched her carefully, wondering where to start. While he really wanted to ask about Simon, he was terrified about what her response might be, so instead, he started with the obvious. “I needed to apologize.”

  “Oh, for lying to me? For using me? For wasting my time?”

  Kyler ran a hand through his messy hair. He should have known it wouldn’t have been as easy as he imagined it in his head. “Can we sit down,” he asked, motioning toward the bench.

  “No.” Her response was swift, and her green eyes glared at him, sparkling beneath the light. “I don’t see the point. I have a feeling this conversation won’t last long.”

  “Fine! Yes, I lied to you a little. I started the year off with poor time management and had a hard go of it trying to catch up. No, I’m not some idiot jock like you might think. Okay? Happy? I lied, and I’m sorry, but I never meant to waste your time, if that’s how you see it, nor did I ever use you.”

  “Why did you tell me you were barely passing? You made a near perfect score on that last test,” Lilah stressed, frustration growing with the creases of her eyes.

  Kyler took a step forward and swallowed heavily. No girl had ever made him as nervous as Lilah did. “You want me to be honest,” he asked stupidly.

  Lilah wasn’t sure if it was rhetorical or not, but she answered back. “That would be a good start for once.”

  Kyler shook his head, a small smile creeping to his face. “I’ve always been honest with you, probably more than I should have. I didn’t tell you that I didn’t need you anymore because I liked spending time with you.”

  Lilah quickly squashed the little flutters that those words gave her. “Studying? You liked studying with me?”

  Kyler stared into her eyes, searching. If she felt anything, she wasn’t going to give it away easily. “I didn’t know if I had a chance for anything more.”

  That’s when she broke contact and dropped her eyes to the ground. Her mouth suddenly went dry and she didn’t know how to respond to those words. Thankfully she wouldn’t have to think about it for too long, as Kyler soon brought up a much more uncomfortable topic.

  “Did you lie?”

  Lilah’s eyes shot up to meet his again, and she wished that she wouldn’t have. The worst part of everything, he was looking at her as if she was causing him the most pain in the world.

  Regaining brain function, she remembered his absurd question. “What are you talking about? What would I lie about to you?”

  “The kiss.”

  Lilah never imagined that they’d ever bring it up. “We never said anything about it.”

  He held his hands out, motioning around. “Obviously it was one of your biggest mistakes.”

  “No,” Lilah began to correct, growing agitated. “You referred to it as such when you asked me to meet you.”

  “Oh, sorry, accident. I believe that was what you called your first kiss,” he growled. Her widened eyes made him immediately regret getting upset with her.

  Lilah shook her head, trying to understand his words.

  Kyler continued once he realized that he had gotten ahead of himself. “So, tell me, who did you lie to, me or your friend?”

  Realizing exactly what Kyler was referring to, “How did you find that note?”

  “Really? For a minute I thought you wanted me to find it. That’s why I never said anything,” he laughed, almost maniacally.

  “What are you talking about?!”

  “It was in the notebook you lent me,” Kyler shouted back. Neither really knew how the shouting had begun.

  “And you thought I planted it there? You’re ridiculous,” Lilah scoffed.

  “Enough with the stupid note. Which one was it?” His voice had gone softer. However, when Lilah didn’t answer him, didn’t even look in his direction, “What was all that bull you told me that night about how perfect your first kiss was?”

  Lilah’s eyes searched the ground. Her head spun with the direction the conversation was going.

  “Just answer me,” Kyler annoyingly pressed on.

  “The truth,” Lilah began with almost nothing more than a whisper. “I told you the truth,” she finally blurted out.

  Kyler wasn’t sure what answer he had hoped for, or which would have been worse. Now that he had it, the brief second he had to think on it did two things, make his heart beat at an alarmingly fast pace, and make his blood boil in rage.

  “Then why did you go out with Simon tonight?”

  Lilah glared at him. He had some nerve to question her, especially after he left the restaurant with Sarah. “Just because you kissed me forever ago doesn’t mean you have any claim to me.”

  Taking a couple steps forward so that he was now towering over Lilah, and not missing a beat, “And what if I kiss you now?”

  Lilah’s lips parted to say something, but no words came. She was utterly shocked by Kyler’s boldness. The second he took another step forward, her brain screamed for her to take one backwards, but the pounding in her chest silenced the internal screaming that was telling her this could not happen again.

  Kyler hesitantly reached his arm around Lilah, allowing it to rest at the small of her back. He lightly pulled her forward, and though she stumbled a bit with uncertainty, she willingly came chest to chest with him, now securely in his arms. His other hand traced along Lilah’s neck, his thumb caressing her heated cheeks. She hadn’t pushed him away, hadn’t given him a reason not to continue, and before she could, he swiftly closed the gap between them.

  His lips felt just how she remembered them, and a part of her hated how much she wanted that feeling every day for the rest of her life. He was warm and tender, silently gauging her comfort level, and despite knowing that her conscience was slowly getting the best of her, Lilah allowed Kyler to take as much of her as he wanted in those few seconds.

  When their tongues finally began a dance that both seemed to know by heart, Kyler tightened his grip on Lilah, afraid that he’d wake up and find out it was all a dream. He had never felt so good being around any girl, and he knew he needed to tell her that, before she found another Simon.

  Guilt finally got the best of whatever Lilah found pouring through her veins. Lust? Spontaneity? Something else?

  “Stop,” Lilah whispered, after reluctantly breaking the kiss.

  Kyler could barely breathe, and had she not said that stupid word, and had he not been such a gentleman, he would have tried to persuade her to continue. Then he looked into her eyes and he felt a blow to his gut.

  Tears.

  “What’s wrong? Are you okay? Did I–”

  Lilah quickly interrupted as she turned her face from him, wiping away the few salty drops that had fallen. “It’s just me. I can’t do this.”

  Kyler stepped around her, forcing her to look at him. Her sadness and pain immediately transformed to anger and hatred, seemingly directed at him.

  “Are you serious? That was the second most amazing kiss in my entire life. If you’re going to give me that it’s not you, it’s me crap, you can at least explain.” He was frustrated, less by the fact that she stopped the kiss and more so that she was pushing him away, for absolutely no good reason.

  “I’m not like my mother. My parents’ relationship is appalling, and I refuse to engage in something like that.”

  “Okay,” was all Kyler could manage. He had no idea what she was getting at. Her parents were screwed up, he knew that, but that had nothing to do with the two of them right now.

  “I’m not some toy for you to chew up and spit out once you get bored, nor will I be some dirty little secret,” Lilah spat, attempting to move past Kyler and back toward the path entrance.

  Kyler gently grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to him. “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” He shook his head, knowing that he didn’t have much time. Lilah clearly had the fight and flight thing down. He attempted to understand what she was saying, but rather than try to reason with her, he just spit it out. “Is that what this is about? You think I�
��d be embarrassed being with you?”

  He laughed and ran his hand through his hair, which only angered Lilah. It wasn’t the fact that he was laughing at what she had just said, but the fact that somewhere inside her there was an extremely shallow little girl who was vaguely distracted by his incredibly sexy hair.

  “I’m glad you find it so incredulously funny!”

  Kyler took an aggressive step forward, his face not showing an ounce of humor, as his body towered over Lilah, asserting his dominance. “Where have you been? Are you blind? I’m not afraid to be seen with you! Geez, Lilah! Do you know why my friends and I interrupted your stupid date?” He didn’t give her a chance to do more than shake her head. “It’s because they’re sick and tired of me not telling you how I feel, and honestly so am I. I’m just shocked, for you being as smart as you are that you don’t see how in love with you I am.”

  Every part of Lilah shut down at the word. She couldn’t swallow, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t see. Perhaps one of the lamplights had gone out and she hadn’t noticed until now.

  Kyler immediately let go of her wrist. The terror and fear on her face said too much. When Lilah finally managed to take a step back, he let her. He didn’t mean to tell her like that. Maybe he didn’t mean to tell her at all. However, doing so made him feel like a weight had lifted.

  “I have to go,” Lilah rapidly told him through nothing more than a whisper.

  This time when she turned to leave, he didn’t bother stopping her.

  Chapter 34

  Alice and Jolee shot each other looks from across the table. After meeting up with Lilah for ice cream the evening before, they knew not to mention anything more about Simon. Though Lilah hadn’t said anything about Kyler, aside from insisting that he ruined her date, they knew better than to mention his name as well.

  Alice had tried to convince Lilah to give Simon another chance, but something told her that Lilah had never really wanted Simon to begin with.

  “Hey,” Simon announced, as he walked up to their lunch table. “You said you wanted to talk to me.”

  Alice tilted her head and gave Lilah that look, silently asking her if she was sure.

  “Yeah,” Lilah began, grabbing her jacket from the back of her chair. “Can we step out into the courtyard?” She knew that Simon wouldn’t be over the top dramatic, but that still didn’t change the fact that she didn’t want to have that conversation so publicly.

  ✽ ✽ ✽

  Kyler watched from across the cafeteria as Simon held the door and he and Lilah stepped out. He hadn’t heard from Lilah for the rest of the weekend. His conversation with her Saturday night didn’t go as he expected. He never intended to vomit out the word love, but he was only further irritated by how easy it was to say that to her, even if his ego took one of the worst blows he could imagine by Lilah running away and not speaking to him since. There had been so many times yesterday that he wanted to text her, only to slam his phone down in frustration. Trying to talk to someone that clearly wasn’t interested in him was torture.

  As if watching his line of vision when she sat down next to him, “Aww, nerd love in paradise,” Sarah giggled.

  Gavin rolled his eyes from across the table. “Hey, Sarah, why don’t you do what all of us are hoping for and just shut it.”

  “Rude,” Britt hissed.

  “No, you all are the rude ones. All you do is talk about people. It’s annoying and makes you look dumber than you probably are…or maybe–”

  “Whoa, what is your problem,” Sarah fired back. “I just made an observation.” She then narrowed her eyes and studied Gavin. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that you have a huge crush on little miss valedictorian.”

  Gavin’s wide eyes met Kyler’s instantly as if to silently reassure him that he had no intention of going after Lilah, although Kyler already knew better. All of his friends were very much aware as to how Saturday played out. When they first saw him at school that morning, each of them held somber looks like someone had just died.

  Now here he was at lunch trying to pretend like everything was okay and seeing Lilah with Simon didn’t just shatter his heart into a million pieces.

  ✽ ✽ ✽

  “I’m actually not surprised,” Simon shrugged.

  Lilah had gotten done trying to thank him for Saturday, but also making it clear that it wouldn’t be happening again.

  Lilah expected him to take it rather well. Along with Kyler, Simon also hadn’t text her the rest of the weekend. It was she who finally text him to meet her at lunch Monday.

  He laughed. “You got pretty fired up after Dawson and his friends came over, so I’m guessing that had a lot to do with it.”

  “No, I didn’t mind them interrupting.” Seriously, she didn’t. Had they not interrupted, things could have gotten awkward fast with the unwanted and impending kiss.

  “I don’t mean the interruption. I’m guessing you have a thing for one of them, or one of them has a thing for you?”

  Lilah sighed. She wasn’t going to talk about another guy with a guy she was breaking up with. Although, they weren’t really breaking up. One date didn’t make this conversation a break-up, more like an it’s not going to work conversation.

  “Oh my gosh,” he continued to laugh. He shook his head like he just came to some intense realization. “I knew you were tutoring Kyler, and I thought the two of you might have something going on…”

  “No, it’s not like that.”

  “Really, Lilah. It’s okay. I’m not going to lose sleep over this. I like you, but I’m not going to compete with some jock. Clearly, if that’s what you’re interested in, you and I wouldn’t have worked out.”

  Lilah was shocked. How had she not noticed what a snob Simon was?

  Once they entered the cafeteria, and stepped away from the bitter cold, Lilah made eye contact with her two best friends. If there was such a thing as a sad smile, that’s what they were giving her.

  “So, friends?”

  Lilah smiled sweetly. Simon would have made a horrible boyfriend, and though she didn’t agree with many of his statements, she could at least agree to friendly terms with him. “Yeah, of course.”

  Before he turned to leave her standing at the glass doors alone, “I just don’t get it.”

  When he took a little longer than she hoped for in forming the next string of words, “Don’t get what?”

  “Sarah.”

  Lilah tensed at the name. That was the last name on earth that she wanted to hear. That name was the only thing standing in her way with what her intentions were.

  When she didn’t say anything, Simon continued. “I thought that you might be into me, but honestly, it was Sarah who gave me the final push to ask you out.”

  “I’m sorry, what,” Lilah nearly shrieked, though composed herself. She had no desire to draw any attention, and a couple band kids nearby had already taken interest.

  “Yeah. She basically told me that she overheard you and some other girls, and you wanted to ask me out, but were too shy and that I…”

  Lilah didn’t hear the rest of his words. Her head felt like it might explode in anger.

  Sarah didn’t help anyone for the sake of being nice. No. Sarah always had an agenda. Everything needed to somehow benefit her. Lilah knew exactly why she did what she did. A part of her had to be scared. If Kyler’s confession to her in the park was true, then Sarah had every right to be.

  ✽ ✽ ✽

  Kyler felt sick to his stomach when they walked in all smiles. He was certain after Saturday that Lilah would see that Simon wasn’t right for her. He thought she had all but admitted that right out to him, but now here she was, giving Simon her sole focus in the middle of a crowded room.

  Then that deathly glare.

  Lilah’s line of vision shot straight towards him and in that split second, he wished that he could have gone back to being invisible to her. She was pissed, more than he had ever seen before, and that said a lot, consideri
ng how their relationship first started. What in the world could Simon be telling her that would have her looking at him like she was about to rip his head off with her bare hands? He had never done anything to Simon. The only reason Kyler hated him was because Simon had Lilah.

  Kyler’s attention flew to the cackling beside him and for some reason Dawson’s party flashed in his head. When he glanced back to Lilah and Simon, he could clearly see that it wasn’t him that her blazing green eyes were focused on. It was Sarah.

  ✽ ✽ ✽

  “I really think you’re making a huge mistake,” Jolee insisted.

  The last bell had finishing ringing only a minute ago, and Jolee and Alice were on Lilah’s heels as she stormed her way to Sarah’s locker.

  “Seriously. It’s over and done with. This isn’t like you,” Alice chimed in.

  They were right. Lilah could be rude and dismissive to people, but she never actually went looking for trouble; however, she couldn’t get over what Simon had told her.

  “I just want to talk to her,” she attempted to state rather calmly; yet, it still came out as a growl.

  Just as Lilah assumed, Sarah and her two besties were wrapping up at her locker. She didn’t intend to hurt Sarah, but a scare would be nice. Her whole body shook from rage and adrenaline when she approached the locker and slammed the door with all her might, causing the whole row to rattle.

  Sarah jumped back and glared at Lilah. “Excuse you?!”

  “Oh, shut it,” Lilah spat.

  Jolee noticed that immediately a crowd began to gather. Of course they would. Two of the most well-known girls in school were about to have a catfight. She nudged Alice to do something, to which Alice only gave her a horrified look and shrugged.

  “What is wrong with you,” Lilah nearly screamed.

  Sarah tossed her hair back and huffed. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “Like hell you don’t.”

  “Maybe if you learned your place–”

  “And where is that,” Lilah quickly interrupted.