by Eva Chase
My pulse raced. My mouth had gone dry. My fingers clutched at the edge of the table, the only solid thing I was still aware of.
Lisa? Lisa, what’s happening? Are you okay?
Jason’s voice found me for an instant and then swept away in the surge. I shook my head, but I couldn’t clear it. Someone was snarling threats and someone else was swearing up a storm and someone was pleading, pleading for mercy like their life depended on it, and oh, God, did I understand that. I had to get those voices out of my head—how could I get them out?
Get away. Get away!
My arms wrenched up. The table heaved over. It hit the ground with a crash sharp enough to cut through the chaos in my mind.
The guard leapt toward me. Fucking animals. Every day there’s some new—
I stumbled away from her, digging my fingernails into my hair until they scratched my scalp. The voices poured back in. They’d stopped for a second. I needed to get them out for good. I needed to play the game, to put on a normal face, to hide from all those searching faces above their white coats.
“Shut the door!” the guard shouted to a colleague who’d just stepped in. Yes. Shut the door.
I grasped ahold of some portion of my mind and slammed it with all the energy in me.
The torrent of words snapped away. Only silence remained, suddenly vast around my own thoughts. My legs faltered. I caught myself in a stumble and lowered to a crouch, clutching my hands behind my neck.
The guard I’d thought was marching toward me whipped right past me to the guy at the puzzle box table. He’d grabbed the jittering box and was smashing it against the wall, his face twisted and red. The other guard was rushing to grab the woman by the Nintendo. She was raising her hands as if to slam them into the girl beside her, whose eyes were wide and cheek marked as if it wouldn’t be the first time.
One of the older men was hunched down by the floor like me. He rocked back and forth, tears streaming down his face. Another guy was pawing through all the papers on the craft table, sending them flying in a desperate flurry. His jaw twitched with an agitated tic.
It was their voices I’d been hearing. All of those people and more. It’d felt like they were attacking me in the moment. But looking at them now, I just saw a whole bunch of victims, in the grip of whatever the Facility was doing to us.
They hadn’t been yelling those thoughts at me, had they? They couldn’t help what went through their heads any more than I could. Less than I could, because I’d been able to shut the chaos down when I’d wanted to.
An uneasy queasiness roiled through my gut.
They were trying their best. Just like me.
The older guy’s sobs faded. The guy with the papers lowered his hands, looking abruptly confused. The woman who’d been struggling with the guard suddenly went limp. At the other end of the room, the guy with the puzzle box dropped it and let out a shudder of breath. Whatever had come over the room, it seemed to have left.
I eased open my mind cautiously, aiming a thread of awareness in the direction I’d last felt Jason. His voice tumbled in, thick with worry. –hear me at all? Tell me what you need, if you can. Lisa—
I’m here, I broke in. I’m here. I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. Everything got a little crazy. But it seems like things are calming down now.
My gaze settled on the table I’d been sitting at, now toppled on its side. The playing cards I’d been using were strewn across the floor in a game of Solitaire only a maniac could have followed.
I’d done that. Lashing out like I’d always used to.
Lashing out at people who’d done nothing more than think in the privacy of their heads.
The queasiness swelled higher. I let myself sit right down on the floor.
What can I do, babe? Jason said. I’ll stay right here with you.
Why are you so nice to me? What did I do to deserve it?
He hesitated. What are you talking about, Lisa? Why wouldn’t you deserve it? Fuck, something’s really wrong over there, isn’t it? I’ll see if I can—
No! Don’t do anything risky. Not for me. I’m what’s wrong. I always thought... I always thought I was just getting by as well as I could...
I closed my eyes. Tears welled up behind them.
And you were, Jason said softly. Lisa, you did the best you could.
No, I didn’t. I could have stopped hearing all those voices. If I’d let myself pay attention to what was really going on instead of being such a coward. Blaming everyone but myself. Instead I pretended I didn’t have any control, that it was all everyone else, and I tried to hurt them for it.
Because you heard awful things. You didn’t know they weren’t really saying them.
I should have. It wouldn’t have taken that much. I didn’t really want to. I didn’t want it to be my fault. I wanted to be mad at everyone else for all the trouble I got into.
Oh, sweetheart. His voice was like a caress. One I couldn’t pull away from. You were just a kid when it started. Anyone would have been scared. Anyone would have tried to hide from the reality of the situation. How can you tell me that what I did isn’t my fault and still think you deserve all the blame for the mistakes you made?
That’s different. With you it was just once. I got into those fights over and over again.
I ignored the signs that could have told me what was going on too. You had every reason to start withdrawing from people. You were just protecting yourself. I’m glad you did.
His words were wearing down the haze of regret inside me. Yeah?
Yeah. Because you’re strong enough to pick the right battles to fight now. You got where you needed to be. When we get out of here, I’m going to be proud to stand beside you.
When we get out of here, he’d said. Like it was a given. His voice rang with honesty. He saw me, he knew me, and he still wanted me with him that badly.
One last wall I hadn’t known I’d been shoring up inside me abruptly cracked. A flood of feeling washed through me, still wrenching but more tender than the agony I’d been in a few moments ago.
Jason, I said quietly.
He still heard me. Still right here, Lisa. Always.
I smiled, choking on a different sort of tears. I love you. Maybe it’s too soon to say that, but—
No way. He sounded a little choked up himself. How many people know each other this well after ten years, even? I love you too, baby. So much.
The thud of a guard’s boots cut through my happiness. I raised my head to watch her stomp past. My spirits sank.
I loved Jason, and he loved me, and there was nothing I wanted more right now than to feel his arm around me. But there were still so many walls out there, keeping us apart.
11
Jason
The guard caught me by my elbow a few steps shy of the cafeteria. “5-81,” he said. “You’ve been moved to the later dinner. Go take care of your library duty now.” He motioned toward the library door farther down the hall as the rest of the group I’d been with filed into the cafeteria.
I wasn’t in a huge hurry to discover what dinner the Facility’s chefs had in store for us, but I’d been expecting to see Lisa tonight. My body balked for a second before I forced myself to comply. “Sure thing. I’ll get right to it.”
He didn’t follow me down the hall, but that wasn’t so unusual. It was just me, and he’d be able to see me the whole time.
What was strange was finding the library empty when I pushed past the door. I stopped just inside, blinking as I took in the empty seating area at the near end of the room. The door thumped shut behind me. I dragged in a breath, filling my lungs with that papery smell.
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been alone in a room that wasn’t my bedroom—or a shower stall, if you could even call that a room. There had to be someone on duty if I was scheduled to be in here.
Uneasiness prickled over my skin. This was really weird. But accidents could happen, couldn’t they? Maybe word about the sched
ule change hadn’t been passed all the way on. Someone had gotten their wires crossed. The cameras were still going, of course. Probably a guard would show up in the next few minutes. I might as well enjoy the solitude while I could.
I picked up a couple of books someone had left on one of the side tables. Looks like I won’t be enjoying your presence tonight after all, sweetheart, I said to Lisa.
Is everything okay? They’re not making you skip meals now, are they?
Nah, I’m supposed to take the late shift. They sent me off to take care of the library now. Who knows why. Probably just Langdon and his whole “keep them on their toes” policy. Seems to be biting him in the ass a bit, though. Apparently the guard didn’t know to show up. I’ve got the place to myself.
So you could get up to all sorts of sneaky business with those books, she teased.
Yeah, not exactly the most exciting place to have some extra freedom. I wish you were here with me, though.
Yeah.
She went silent, but I figured she was probably talking to someone in the cafeteria. If I distracted her too much with our mental conversation, I could get her in trouble. I checked the numbers on the spines of the books and carried them to the right shelves.
More stray books were lying on the edges of the shelves or on top of the rows where people had taken them out to look them over and not bothered to put them back in the right spot. I slid those back into their spaces as I went.
One of the few things I could say in the Facility’s favor: They hadn’t skimped on the library. It was four rows deep of packed shelves, plus more bookcases against the walls. I’d found everything from pulp westerns to theoretical science texts in there. And just like with the movies, they regularly rotated new titles in. I might not have experienced the outside world directly in seven years, but I wasn’t totally behind on popular culture.
I was in the back of the room when the door squeaked open. There was my missing guard. I was about to step out from behind the shelves so he or she could see where I was when Lisa’s voice slipped back into my head.
Guess who.
My pulse hiccupped. I nearly dashed for the aisle, but caught myself after just one step. The cameras were still watching. Instead, I ambled over.
She was standing just inside the door, her eyes gleaming, that gorgeous red hair cascading over her shoulders. A grin stretched across her face when I came into view.
It took all my self-control not to stride right up to her and pull her into my arms.
“Hey,” I said out loud, for the benefit of the cameras and anyone watching the recording now or later. “What are you doing here?” How did you pull this off?
“I just really needed to pick out a new book for tonight,” Lisa said, still smiling. I managed to talk my way into coming over, since it’s just down the hall. He even said I could take my time. Probably figured there had to be someone on duty in here. And after all, what kind of trouble could I get into with a bunch of books?
“No problem. Go ahead and have a look around, then.” I can think of some I’d like to get into.
I moved back to the shelf I’d been tidying. Lisa’s internal voice followed me. I know. Isn’t there any spot in here we can steal a moment away from the cameras?
I didn’t want just a moment. Hearing her move through the room, the faint rustle of her clothes, had all my nerves humming with my awareness of her. I licked my lips.
There were seven cameras in the library, one down each aisle and two getting different angles on the sitting area. With just one shorted out, we could have the entire space between two of the shelving units to ourselves.
If I broke a couple others elsewhere in the building at the same time, it’d look like an electrical fluke, wouldn’t it? Not something I’d done on purpose to get that privacy.
It was risky, but the second the thought popped into my head, I couldn’t shake it. I’d been so fucking careful so far. I hadn’t used my ability to my advantage in the three years I’d been testing it out.
We needed this. We deserved it. Screw the Facility and their cameras and their staff. I wanted to hold my girl in my arms. To remind myself why I’d spent all this time playing by their rules.
My mind was already reaching out to the shiver of heat running through the electrical wires. Go to the second row, I told Lisa. I’ll meet you there.
I wouldn’t short out the library camera first. I extended my reach and sent a zap into one in a dorm room I picked at random. Then the camera I wanted, aimed down the second row. Then another, outside the fitness room, just to muddy the waters more.
The last one gave me a slight pinch in my forehead, but the pain faded right away. Like using all that power was nothing at all.
My heart thumped even faster. I kept my steps steady as I popped the last book into its spot and stepped toward the second aisle.
Lisa stood there in the middle of it, her hand resting on one of the shelves, waiting for me.
The second I knew I was out of range of the other cameras, I sprinted the last few steps to her. A gasp escape her mouth the instant before I claimed it with mine. I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her as close to me as I could. Her body molded against mine. She gripped my shoulder with one hand, the other teasing up my neck into my hair.
Oh, Jason. She kissed me back hard. We’re okay? We don’t have to worry?
I knocked out the camera on this row. No one’s seeing any of this.
A quiver of anticipation crept into her breath as she kissed me again. Then we can do anything we want, right?
My cock twitched. At the same moment, she arched her hips against mine. I bit back a groan, angling my mouth even more perfectly against hers.
Hell, yes, babe. God, you have no idea how much I want you.
It can’t possibly be more than I want you. All of you. Please.
That last word all but undid me. I slid my hands up her shirt to fondle her breasts through her bra. She whimpered at the contact. Our tongues twined as we kissed more desperately. I dipped my fingers inside the cups. Fuck me, her soft skin felt amazing against mine.
I wanted to strip the clothes right off her, but my brain hadn’t entirely shut down. The missing guard could still show up any time. We couldn’t throw caution completely to the wind. But I could work around clothes. To hear her making that pleased, needy sound, I could work around anything.
I swiveled my palms against her nipples, loving the way they stiffened to attention at the caress. Lisa ran her hands up under my shirt, her touch setting my skin on fire. She traced them over the planes of my back and then skimmed them over the front of me as if she was trying to map every part of my chest. Which was totally fine with me.
Jason, she murmured in my head. Jason. So full of longing it made me twice as hard.
I relinquished one breast to trail my hand down the front of her body. Her hips bucked as I dipped between her legs. Yes. Oh, God, yes. Right there.
I stroked her through her jeans until she was trembling in my arms. Her breath shuddered against my mouth as our kisses became more fractured.
My own chest hitched when her fingers curved around the bulge behind my fly. She stroked up and down, and I groaned. My cock was so hard I was afraid I’d burst right there in my pants.
I want you inside me, she said. ASAP. You’re killing me.
I yanked down the zipper of her jeans and delved beneath her panties. A soft moan reverberated from her throat. The folds of her pussy were slick against my fingers. Fuck, you’re so wet.
For you, Jason. Only for you.
I kissed her jaw and her neck as I rubbed her clit with my palm. She fumbled with my fly for several torturous seconds before she worked it down. Then her hand closed right around my cock. I couldn’t help bucking into her grasp. She rode my hand in turn, whimpering.
When I couldn’t stand the pressure any longer, I jerked her jeans down. Then I sank down against the shelves, pulling her with me onto my lap. I didn’t have to say a word,
inside or out loud. She stroked her hand up my cock one more time and guided me inside her.
Her pussy sheathed me, so hot and tight I let out another groan. I pushed my hips up to meet her, holding her thighs to help steady her rhythm. She leaned over me, her lips brushing my cheek, her breasts swaying against my chest. I couldn’t do anything then but clutch her and drive myself into her as hard as she was plunging down onto me.
Yes. Yes. Fuck, yes. So good. So close. Take me higher, Jason.
I sped up my rhythm, thrusting hard and fast. A cry of pleasure broke from her lips. My balls tightened. She pumped up and down in time with me until her channel clenched around me.
She gasped, her whole body shuddering. The sensation sent pleasure shattering through me. I came, harder than I ever had in my life, emptying myself into her in a haze of bliss.
Lisa melted against me, her head resting on my shoulder. She kissed the base of my neck. “I love you,” she murmured out loud, so low the distant cameras shouldn’t be able to pick it up. “I love you.”
“I love you too, babe. So fucking much.”
Our cuddling in the afterglow was over way too fast. I guess I should grab a book and get out of here before this starts looking too suspicious, she said with obvious regret. I nodded, and she eased herself off me, pulling her jeans up as she stood. I tucked myself back into my pants. Then, because I had to steal one more moment, I tugged her to me and kissed her, long and gentle. Memorizing the soft curve of her mouth.
Lisa sighed when I pulled back. She ran her fingers over the books and picked one it seemed at random. Her cheeks were still flushed. I guess not everything about that Langdon guy is bad. Considering it’s thanks to him I made it here at all, I mean.
My body tensed. What do you mean?
Oh, I asked the cafeteria guard to let me go to the library, and he seemed pretty unsure about it. But Dr. Langdon was hanging around, and he overruled. He’s the one who told me I could take my time. He looked all creepy when he said it, but then, he always looks creepy.