Shades of Truth (The Summerlynn Secrets)

by C. L. Stockton

  My feet were bare and I felt every wisp of plush rug between my toes. The railing was polished to a soft glow, which I muffled with my hand.

  “Where are you going?”

  The voice from the hallway on the second floor caused me to jump and almost tumble down the staircase.

  Colton appeared from the shadows. Freshly bathed and hair slightly damp, he’d changed into a clean pair of black trousers and a fitted green shirt. The shine on his black boots rivaled the stars and he suddenly looked like a prince. Except for the blonde beard, of course. That hinted at things a prince would never do.

  “I came to find you.” I stepped off the landing, coming to stand in front of him. I left a bit of distance between us, but if I was going to apologize, I wasn’t going to shout while doing it.

  “Oh?” His expression was guarded. This close, I began to feel the hum of attraction. If I took the tiniest step forward and if he lowered his head…

  No. I did have a reason for seeking him out but it didn’t involve kissing, or touching, for that matter. “I wanted to continue our conversation, to— " His hand on my elbow halted my words along with any semblance of thought.

  “We cannot talk in the hallway. Come.” Waving an imperious hand, Colton led me down the hallway, opening the door to what surely had to be the most magnificent room in the house.

  A fire raged in the hearth, highlighting bookcases stretching floor to ceiling. Though the lamps had not been lit, I had the impression of vastness. Couches and armchairs were artistically arranged around the room and Colton guided me to a pair in front of the fire. A decanter and half-empty glass stood sentry on the table between the chairs.

  “I didn’t know you drank.” I gestured toward the brandy. The fire heated the armchair and I tucked my cold feet beneath my dress.

  He shrugged, upending the glass in his mouth. “Have you come to finish me off, then?” He looked up, and our eyes locked. His were bleaker than I’d ever seen.

  “I came to apologize.” I played with the ends of the shawl. “I said some very mean things to you earlier. They were hurtful and I never should have said them.”

  “That does not make them any less true.” Carefully, he set his empty glass back on the table. His hands were still steady, leading me to believe he hadn’t been drinking for long. “Having a woman declare she wished she’d never met one is not exactly what a man wants to hear.”

  “You know I didn’t mean that.”

  “Then why say it?”

  “Because you were being arrogant and hateful and I wanted to say something that would make you leave.”

  “It certainly did that.” Idly, he flicked the empty glass with a long finger.

  “I am sorry for saying I wished we’d never met. I am tired and out of sorts because you won’t tell me where my father is.”

  “It’s not safe,” he began the familiar refrain, but then closed his mouth. “I suppose you believe I am making that up as well.”

  “Since you haven’t confided in me, I have no choice but to believe what I want and ignore all the rest.” My own gaze settled on the fire. There was something hypnotizing in the way the flame encircled the wood. My father always enjoyed fires. I turned to look at him. “Colton, is my fath—“

  “Sorin,” he corrected.

  I raised my eyebrows at him. “Don’t you like Colton?”

  “Only on special occasions.” He kept his eyes trained on the glass he could not stop fiddling with.

  Ignoring the name issue I pressed, “Is my father here?” From the way he’d been acting and the recent comments about his whereabouts, he knew something I didn’t. And that something was bad, which caused me to question whether I’d like to treasure my ignorance for a little while longer.

  “I have only been home,” he checked the clock on the mantle, “three hours. Am I allowed any rest?”

  “You met with your father. Surely he knows what happened.” I watched his face carefully. From the way it shuttered, he knew about my father. “Tell me.”

  “What makes you think I know?”

  “Because you will not look me in the eye.”

  He lifted his head. Those blue eyes met mine, and I felt the earth shake just a tiny bit. Hardly noticeable, really. “What is it you wish to know?”

  “Is my father here, in the palace?”

  He paused. “That knowledge is not helpful in the current circumstances.”

  “Is that a no?”

  “No.”

  “Then it’s a yes.”

  “No.”

  “This is exactly what makes me want to hit you. I ask a question and instead of answering it, you either dodge or ignore it completely.” I got to my feet, shaking out the folds of my dress.

  “Cadrian, this isn’t a battle you want to win.”

  “It doesn’t have to be a battle.” I met his eyes. “Will you at least tell me if my father is alive?” There. I’d finally asked it. The one unknown constantly at the back of my mind was now free to crumble my soul.

  A long sigh. “Your father is dead.”

  Like a physical blow, that information balled deeply into my gut, spreading outward until my entire body was consumed with pain. I curled over on myself, hugging my middle as I waited for the pain to ease. It didn’t.

  Never had I experienced feelings so powerful they knotted my muscles and seized my stomach. I felt horribly nauseous. How could words have the ability to knock me sideways? The power to make me physically sick?

  I must have swayed, because Colton grabbed me, lifting me high against his chest before subsiding into his armchair. His arms remained tight around me, negating my struggles. Not that I fought him. That would take effort and I was through with that for the evening.

  Drawing my knees to my chest and nudging aside the arms banded around my waist, I tried to curl into as small a ball as possible. I buried my face against his shoulder, surprised when my wet cheeks clung to the fabric of his shirt. Maybe if I took up less space, pain wouldn’t be able to find me.

  Beneath me, Colton shifted, reaching for something. It wasn’t until he pushed a glass against my clenched fists that I realized what it was. My fingers were reluctant to unclench, meaning he had to shape my hand around the glass. His hand remained around mine and together we held the cup.

  His fingers prodded my curved spine. “Drink. You’ll feel better.”

  Shakily, I obeyed. Colton released my hand in favor of brushing away the dampness on my cheeks. My hands weren’t entirely steady, so I used them both to bring the cup to my mouth. The liquid went down easily, spreading warmth throughout my otherwise cold body.

  After I drained the cup, I held it out to Colton. He took it, and I immediately curled up again on his lap. After our intimate rides, the shocking hardness of his chest and thighs no longer surprised me. My head tucked neatly against the ridge of his collarbone and I propped my bare feet along the inside of the armrest.

  His hand was a warm brand against my shoulder, his thumb slowly drawing circles. His other hand covered my bare feet, reminding me how cold I was. Shivering, I burrowed closer into him.

  Gradually, the alcohol loosened my muscles and my thoughts. Tomorrow I would determine the landscape of a life without my father. Decisions would have to be made. The sheer emptiness of my life scared me.

  For now, there was only tonight. My first as an orphan. Did shadows look different when there were no longer parents in the world? Was the sky darker, the grass damper? Would words begin to echo in my ribcage as my heart was no longer there?

  “Now do you understand why I wouldn’t tell you?” His voice rumbled against my cheek. I was completely relaxed against him, and wondered why he must ruin everything with words.

  “How long have you known?” My voice was heavier than normal.

  “Since our kidnapping.”

  Angrily, I pulled myself out of his arms. Besides allowing his hands to trail along my body, he did nothing. How dare he keep this from me? He’d known for t
hree whole days I was an orphan and hadn’t given the slightest hint anything was wrong. Oh, he’d been remarkably cagey, but I dismissed that due to this spying business.

  I spun back around. “You should have told me the moment you learned they were dead. I had a right to know.” My voice broke as the tears came. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “You needed a safe place to fall apart.” His answer neatly disarmed me. If he had returned with anger or justification, I would have attacked again. As it was, we stared at each other in silence, tears skimming my face.

  The firelight shaded the front of his hair a lighter blonde, giving him a halo. My eyes traced the angle of his nose, the curve of his lips, and the frown pulling at the corners of his mouth. I couldn’t read his expression, but I knew he was far from happy at the moment.

  “And it is safe here?”

  “As long as you do not anger Cedric. He can make life very difficult.”

  If I remembered correctly, Cedric was the butler. “I see. And have you experienced his wrath before?”

  Stepping forward, he gently grasped my wrists. “Many times. I am still smarting from the last incident. His revenge tends to involve forgotten messages and misplaced coats.” Pulling gently, he maneuvered me into his arms. From my eyes, his blue eyes trailed down to my mouth. Before I could even begin to make the connections, his mouth brushed mine once, then twice before settling over my lips.

  This was a tender, gentle kiss designed to comfort. So why did it sear my insides down to the arches of my feet? My frayed nerve endings decided to work again, and began translating the touches and each swipe of his tongue into heart pounding, toe-curling excitement. In this moment, I was fully alive, as were my parents and all the things that should have been.

  Before I could kiss him back, Colton lifted his head. Our lips parted reluctantly. He surveyed me with a tender look in his eyes. “Tomorrow shall be better.”

  Still dazed from our kiss, all I managed was, “Will it?”

  “Yes.” His mouth dipped toward mine again, only he checked himself, kissing my forehead. At my questioning look, he explained, “When you’ve had less of a shock, I will kiss you again.” I only blinked, completely exhausted. “Off to bed with you and I shall see you in the morning.” His arms fell away. I immediately missed their warmth.

  I had my own reservations about it being better tomorrow. I had the feeling my sorrow was just beginning.

  Chapter Eleven

  The next day, I refused to get out of bed. Matters were helped by the fact I slept until afternoon. Lunch was brought on a tray, as I’d explained to Maura I was not feeling well. While true, I was certainly quite capable of getting out of bed and conducting myself like a member of the human race.

  My embargo against standing on my own two feet was broken early the following afternoon. Time had been passing relatively quickly, as I alternated between periods of thought and sleep. Sometimes I combined both, waking with a half remembered plan for the future on my lips.

  The first indication today would not pass as easily as yesterday came when I heard raised voices in the hallway. One was Colton’s. The other lighter feminine voice was too faint to be recognized. That changed when my door banged open. Clear as a bell, the woman’s voice said, “You cannot march into her bedroom like this!”

  I turned my head from the window to find Colton and his mother in the doorway. Buried as I was beneath the covers, I was barely visible. I saw them, however.

  Dressed in a properly fitted blue shirt, and brown trousers, Colton glowed with vitality. Even the ends of his newly trimmed blonde hair seemed especially crisp. Idly, I wondered why he still had his beard. He’d had more than enough time to shave.

  Queen Cassandra also looked amazing in a simple (well, as simple as a queen’s wardrobe was) well-tailored burgundy gown. Cut close to her curves, it complimented her figure admirably.

  Colton fitted his hands to his hips. “Get up.” The command held such authority I nearly obeyed. That must be his prince tone.

  “No.” My bed was entirely too comfortable. As long as I stayed in it, nothing could affect me.

  “It was not a request.”

  “Please leave.” They were disturbing the silence and I found I didn’t care for that in the least.

  He turned to Queen Cassandra. “Mother, please shut the door behind you.” Colton gestured at the door.

  Queen Cassandra latched onto his arm. “I cannot leave you alone in a bedroom with her!”

  “I thought you were desperate for a daughter-in-law.”

  Her chin tilted. “I’ll be down the hall.” The door closed with a firm clunk.

  My head still turned from the door, I heard rather than saw Colton approach. He walked around the bed, entering my line of vision. Pulling the covers closer to my chin, I asked, “What do you want?”

  “For starters, you out of that bed.” When I didn’t answer, his tone softened. “How are you?”

  Unbidden, a tear leaked out of my eye. Seeing it, Colton sat on the edge of my bed. His finger was gentle against my cheek as he wiped away first one tear, and then a few more. When it became clear I wasn’t able to answer beyond crying harder, he eased himself down on the bed. So gently I nearly missed it, he gathered me against him.

  His scent swirled around me as he pulled me so close my forehead touched his collarbone. His hand splayed against my back, his thumb slowly tracing the dip of my hip. He didn’t say anything, content to let my grief fill the room. Though I knew I might never be all right again, somehow Colton made it better.

  That scared me so much I stopped crying.

  When my breathing had slowed and the sadness had retreated, I sighed. “I haven’t cried like that since my mother died.” I stared at his shoulder, not willing to look him in the eyes quite yet.

  “I am sorry for your loss.” His hand left my back so he could tuck an overlong lock of hair behind my ear. “Perhaps you should have one of the maids fix your hair.”

  “You don’t like it?” I resisted the urge to thunk my forehand against his shoulder. My father was dead and I was concerned Colton might not like my hair?

  There was something very wrong with me.

  “Sweetheart, I like everything about you.” His smile promptly sizzled any remaining nerve endings I had. “I only mention it because my mother has asked if you can accompany her to a ball later this week and I will not have you embarrassed because of my hack job on your hair.”

  “A ball?” I finally looked up. His eyes were a steady blue on mine.

  “Yes, but you’ll have to get out of bed if you want to attend.”

  “Oh.” The moment I put my foot to the floor, I would have accepted my father’s death and begun the process of forgetting him. Healing only came when the edges of memory dulled.

  “Yes oh.” The corners of his mouth tilted upwards. “And I would like you to come down for dinner. It’s entirely too quiet without you. I can actually hear myself think.”

  “Will you ring for Maura?” I’d get out of bed as soon as Colton left. I happened to be in a nightgown and we were in my bedroom. Not that seeing me in white lace would inflame his desire. I hadn’t bathed in two days, my hair was a mess, and my breath probably stank.

  “In a minute.” Our eyes met for a moment that stretched. “It will get better. Distractions help.”

  “Are you offering to distract me?”

  “I already do.” Pressing a kiss to my forehead, he stood and walked to the wall to ring for Maura. “Dinner is served promptly at six as Mother is going out this evening. We do not have guests, but you will meet both my father and my brother. I trust you know their names?”

  “The only name I didn’t know was yours.” The tart words escaped before I could stop them.

  “Just be ready by six.” He was still laughing as he left.

  I was very nervous by the time I stood in the hallway outside the dining room. Maura had instructed me how to get there, but she hadn’t told me how I was
going to survive a dinner with two reigning monarchs and two princes, all of whom thought I was involved in some insidious plot of my recently deceased father’s.

  This was not going to be fun.

  “You must be Cadrian.” I turned to find a young man regarding me.

  Though clearly not as handsome as his elder brother, Prince Robert was still exceptionally good looking. From his father, he inherited black hair and height while his mother blessed him with her delicate features. These features would have given him a feminine cast if it weren’t for the North nose and sensual mouth. His eyes were the same sparkling blue his mother and brother shared.

  “Your Royal Highness,” I curtseyed. “Nice to meet you.”

  “Please, I am Rob. And you are going to walk in on my arm and smile because it will annoy Sorin.” So saying, Rob tucked my hand onto his arm and together we strode into the dining room.

  It was an enormous room. Huge crystal chandeliers hung at regular intervals from the ceiling, highlighting the dark red walls and elaborate oil paintings on the walls. The floor was a lovely golden wood and a long red rug circled beneath the table easily able to seat thirty. Our places were set toward one end, where King Richard, Queen Cassandra and Colton sat, awaiting our arrival.

  At our approach, the three stood. I became conscious of my borrowed peach gown, the hem easily short of my half boots. My companions were dressed tastefully, and I recognized quality when I saw it. Queen Cassandra had on the loveliest green dress, with embroidery along the waist, bodice and hem. I wondered absently if it was hand sewn.

  I sank into a deep curtsey once we reached the others. Rob thankfully released me, so I didn’t drag him down as well.

  “Good evening, Your Royal Highnesses,” I greeted them. Upon straightening, my gaze was drawn to Colton. How could I ever have thought this man a commoner? From the exceptionally correct posture to the very tilt of his head, this man was all prince. His athletic body was covered by expert tailoring, meaning his shoulders were wider, his hips leaner and his legs more perfect than I remembered.