You Are Always on My Mind

by Sable Hunter

  “Okay.” To say she was leery was putting it mildly. “I’ve never really made up my mind to believe in ghosts. Part of me wants to, but part of me finds it difficult.”

  Savannah chuckled. “I’ve been there. I didn’t always believe in ghosts. What I’ve discovered is that you don’t have to, all you need to believe in is people. Ghosts are people who have passed on.” She began to scan the room with the camera. “I was able to meet my mother. I’ll cherish that encounter for the rest of my life.”

  Feelings of jealousy swept over Harper. She didn’t say anything, but the idea of meeting either one of her parents in spirit form wasn’t something she wanted to do. “She loved you, didn’t she?”

  “Very much,” Savannah muttered. “Okay, I see a couple of orbs.” She stopped and pushed a couple of buttons. “Come look.” When Harper came closer, she replayed the footage. “Do you see those balls of light?”

  “Yes, what is that?” Savannah leaned in to see.

  “Some say those anomalies are insects and some say they’re dust.”

  “Neither of which would say much for my housekeeping talents.” Harper giggled.

  “True.” Savannah grinned. “But if you’ll look closer, they are emitting their own light, which neither of those other things are able to do, unless the bug was a firefly.”

  “And there are no fireflies in the house,” Harper muttered. “So, what is it?”

  “I believe they are the form that ghosts travel in. I’ve taken photos that show spirits in the process of folding up into the ball of light, their spectral body actually billowing upward into this shape.” When Harper shivered, Savannah laughed. “Sorry, this is all a little too much to take in, isn’t it?”

  “A bit.” They moved farther into the living room. “This is where the books are that shifted position.” She pointed them out.

  “Has there been any indication of others beside the woman and the child? Your grandmother perhaps?”

  “No.” Harper shook her head. “None that I’m aware of.”

  “Okay, let’s keep going.” They made their way through the bottom floor of the house, Harper following Savannah’s lead, asking various questions. “Is anyone with us? What’s your name? Did you use to live in this house? Do you want to tell us something? Do you need any help?”

  Harper was beginning to think this was a futile plan. She wasn’t feeling a thing except for her own nerves, and she sure wasn’t seeing anything unusual. “Maybe we ought to go upstairs.”

  “All right.” The women started toward the staircase. She was walking behind Savannah, who had the lens of the video camera aimed at the top landing. As she climbed, Harper continued asking the same things she’d voiced on the first floor. “Who are you? Can you hear me?” Then, another question came to her. “Does the baby I hear crying belong to you?”

  As soon as the words left her lips, Harper felt something at her back. Her hair moved. At first she thought Revel had come up behind her, and then something brushed her throat. “What?” Her skin crawled when she felt icy fingers touch her throat. “Savannah, something touched me?”

  Hearing Harper’s panicked tone, Savannah stopped and aimed the video camera right at Harper. “Be still, let me get a good shot.”

  “Be still?” she asked incredulous. Harper did as she was told, but it was hard to keep her feet from moving. Her first instinct was to fly up the stairs and get under the bed…no, not under the bed…

  Once they got to the top of the stairs, Savannah stood and filmed the empty staircase for a few moments. “Do you see anything?” Harper asked.

  “No, but I don’t usually, not until I play it back on the computer.” She stopped and turned toward the hall. “I’m not sure why film captures activity more often than the naked eye but it does.”

  By this time, Harper was trembling. “Most of the activity happens either in this first bedroom or the last one on the right. Shouldn’t we have done this at night?”

  “Ghosts aren’t really more active at night, I don’t think they care what time it is,” Savannah said dryly as she continued filming. “Let’s go in your room. You said you had the dream here?”

  “Yes,” Harper said, opening the door and stepping aside for her to enter. Every cell in her body was primed, it was as if electricity was arcing through the air around her. “And I’ve heard the baby crying here as well. Actually, you can hear the child’s mournful wail from everywhere on the second floor.” She hadn’t spent any time lately in the room she’d occupied as a child, but she’d heard it there as well.

  Turning and looking slowly around the room, she asked a question she wasn’t sure she wanted the answer to. Facing the mirror, she gazed at her own reflection. “Did you kill your baby?” Harper heard Savannah gasp, but she didn’t have time to respond because right in front of their eyes—the mirror cracked with a loud noise. “Oh, my God!” Harper whispered.

  “Now, that’s a reaction,” Savannah murmured. “I’d say you hit a nerve.”

  As if the shattering of the glass opened a door of some kind, things started to happen. The haunting lament of a lost child rent the air. “Good Lord, that’s a piteous sound,” Savannah said. “Where’s it coming from?”

  Hugging herself tightly, Harper led Savannah from the room, down the hallway to the small bedroom where she’d looked at the old photograph. “In this room.”

  And sure enough, as soon as they reached the door, a faint wailing sound could be heard within. Savannah turned the knob and went in, filming, closing the door behind her. “Ask your question again, Harper.”

  Despite Harper’s best efforts, her teeth were chattering. Thinking this could possibly be a bad idea, she repeated the words that had precipitated the portent of seven years bad luck. “We hear your baby. It died, I know. Who killed it? Did you?” She waited just a couple of seconds, fully expecting something in the room to explode or fly across the room. “What’s your name? What’s your baby’s name?”

  Suddenly the temperature in the room dropped so low, their breaths were visible and a horrendous scream exploded in the air around them. One word, one word spoken in a voice so filled with pain and anguish that Harper’s blood ran cold. “Joby! Joby! His name is Joby!”

  Savannah and Harper froze, then in the next breath the door flew open and Revel and Patrick stood there. “What’s going on? We heard a scream!” Patrick asked.

  “Are you all right?” Revel went to Harper.

  “Yes, the scream you heard wasn’t us,” she confessed.

  “Let’s go downstairs,” Savannah suggested. “We’ve got quite a bit recorded on both devices. We can see if we got anything.”

  Revel put an arm around Harper. “You’re shaking.” He pulled her close.

  “I’m okay, we’re okay,” Harper spoke unevenly. “The mirror on the dresser in our room cracked…quite spectacularly.” She tried to smile at him.

  “Wow,” he gave her an encouraging smile, “I guess you two had some success.” At her doubtful look, he gave Harper a kiss on the forehead. “As long as you’re okay.”

  The men led the two women down the stairs and to the couch where Savannah immediately began hooking a USB cable between her camera and her computer. Patrick, used to the drill, began downloading whatever Harper had captured on the digital recorder onto another computer.

  Revel, not really knowing what to do, gestured toward the kitchen. “I’m going to pour us some iced tea. I think we could use the caffeine.”

  When Savannah got the connections hooked up, she pressed play. Harper walked nearer so she could see what was on the screen. The first part was them downstairs and again she could see the orbs. Their voices were clearly heard, but nothing else.

  Until they came to the stairs. As Harper asked her questions, a woman’s voice could be clearly heard saying, “No, no, no,” over and over again. When they reached the top and Savannah looked back what they saw caused all of them to jump, even Patrick.

  “My God!” Savannah
said, clearly as shocked as the rest. Even Revel drew near to see the unbelievable sight. For crawling up the stairs behind them, on all fours was a woman. She wore a white gown and the front seemed to be covered in blood. Her gaunt, skeletal face looked up at them and her voice was as cold as the grave. “My baby is dead. He killed it. He raped me, my father raped me and he killed us both.”

  For Harper the words were like poisonous darts. The room swam around her and blackness closed in.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  “Harper! Harper!” Revel’s voice called out to her and she struggled to open her eyes.

  “What happened?” she murmured, bringing a hand up to her forehead.

  “You fainted. How do you feel?”

  His questions seemed faraway. She was lying on the couch and when she looked around, they were alone. “Where’s Savannah and Patrick?”

  “They’re gone. They left a few hours ago.” He squatted beside her, one hand on her face, the other holding her hand. “You saw the video and collapsed, I’m glad I was close enough to catch you.”

  “The video…” Harper jerked upright, the memory of what she’d seen and heard flashing back on her. “She said her father…” The words wouldn’t come. Her whole body started shaking. The woman had been raped by her father. Raped. That familiar feeling of panic, of her body wanting to crawl out of her own skin, cascaded over her like rivulets of oil. Pushing out of Revel’s grasp, she scooted over to one side, her arms crossed, her hands gripping her own arms.

  “Harper, don’t.” Revel could see how she was reacting, he could see what was happening. Something had triggered the anxiety attacks she experienced when she needed... “I’ve got you, baby.” He knew what to do. “Do you need a little bite?”

  “Please, please.” She closed her eyes, the feelings almost overwhelming.

  “Come here.” He guided her over his lap. She was so beautiful, so perfect. “I will give you what you need.” Lifting her skirt, he saw a small pair of silk panties covering her perfect ass. “How many, Bright Eyes?”

  “I don’t know. Twenty?” She pushed her bottom up, inviting his attention.

  And he gave it to her.

  Using his bare hand, he spanked her. He varied the spot where he made contact with her lush little bottom, but Revel landed twenty quick pops. And yes, it turned him on—big time. And yes, he felt guilty about it.

  But then she scrambled up, turned in his lap and began kissing him like there was no tomorrow. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”

  Revel cradled her close. “It helped?” he asked, his own voice a little shaky.

  “So much, so much better than burning or cutting.”

  “Yes, certainly better than that.” He rubbed a big palm over her warm rear. “I have to admit, it makes me feel guilty to enjoy doing that to you.”

  She leaned back and gave him a huge smile. “You liked it?”

  “Yes.” He nodded, helpless to keep from returning her smile. “I never thought I would.” Cupping the side of her face, he rubbed her cheek gently with his thumb. “Even I have to admit this is much better than you doing anything else that might cause you pain. And that we like it, enjoy it, so much the better.”

  Worrying, she had to ask. “Did Savannah say anything about what happened before they left?”

  Revel nodded. “She said she’d call you tomorrow and that she wanted you to look through the diaries and other journals your grandmother left to see if there is anything in them that would give us the identity of the woman and the baby.”

  “So, she thinks they are real people?” Harper already knew the answer to her own question because of the photo.

  “Yes, she does. And I tend to agree. I watched the film and I was blown away,” he confessed. “This is a woman with a story to tell. She was abused, raped and lost her child. I would say she needs closure. We need to learn her secret.”

  “Speaking of secrets…” Meeting his eyes, Harper bit her lip. “There’s something I need to tell you. Something you deserve to know.” She mirrored the way he was touching her, rubbing her palm on the sexy scruff on his face.

  Clearly seeing her distress, he hastened to reassure her. “Tell me, you can tell me anything. You know that.”

  Sadly, she declared, “I know I can, but when I do, everything will change.” She pressed her lips together to still their trembling. “I’ll have to leave.”

  “Leave?” Revel placed his hand over the one resting on his face. “There is nothing you can tell me that would require your leaving me.”

  Harper swallowed, but said nothing.

  “Did you hear me? Nothing!” he spoke forcefully. “Is this something you’ve spoken with Lucas about?”

  She shook her head. “Not yet, but maybe I should.”

  Revel hung his head. “I don’t know what to say, what to do. I feel like I’m walking through a minefield. Afraid that the next step I take will be a wrong one and it will all blow up in my face.”

  Guilt and remorse ate away at Harper. Was she wrong? “It’s not your fault, it’s mine.”

  Revel framed her face. “Listen to me, let me make myself crystal clear. There is nothing, nothing you could ever say or do—nothing you could have ever done—that would make me want to walk away from you. And if you ever leave me, it won’t be because I want you to go.” He kissed her once, hard and thoroughly. “And wherever you go, I’ll follow until I find you.”

  “Revel, oh Revel.” She sighed, loving him more than he would ever know.

  “And when I find you, I’ll do everything in my power to bring you home where you belong.”

  * * *

  The drive to her three o’clock appointment with Lucas was subdued. Revel wasn’t angry with her—he was scared. Several times he almost asked her what secret she felt like she couldn’t tell him. What more could he do? What more could he say?

  They were almost in Baton Rouge before Harper spoke. “I feel like everything is spinning out of control.”

  “What do you mean?” Revel felt an ache deep in his gut.

  “I bombard your life, we have ghosts, I have issues, it’s a mess.”

  “You just don’t get it, do you?” Revel gave a harsh, hopeless laugh. “Being with you, in whatever situation, is preferable than being without you.”

  “I hope you always feel that way,” she whispered as he put on the blinker. As always, he helped her out, he held the door, he stood between her and the street. Revel was her protector. “Don’t go far, okay?” she asked.

  The look of relief on his face made her feel ashamed. As Clotille used to say, she was going to have to fish or cut bait. What she was doing to him wasn’t fair.

  Walking into the comfortable reception area, she and Revel took a seat in front of a big flat screen TV. They had only been there a few seconds when her name was called. Impulsively, she leaned over and kissed him before she rose. This seemed to please him greatly.

  Rising, she left without looking back. God, she was confused.

  Lucas met her, his smile confident. “How was your evening?”

  She took it that he was referring to the assignment. Last night seemed an age ago. “It went well.” Harper started to leave it at that, she certainly wasn’t going to bring up their paranormal activity. But there was one thing she should mention. “I think I made some progress. Today, I was reminded of a memory, I guess you could say a trigger memory. I tensed up and would have attempted to do some self-harm, but Revel noticed and he helped me.”

  “How?”

  “He spanked me.” She smiled. “Not hard, but enough to get my mind off what was worrying me.”

  “And what was worrying you?” Lucas looked at her pointedly. “It’s time we got to the root of the problem.” When he saw her look of dismay, he reinforced his point. “We’ll make more progress if you lay all your cards on the table. Sometimes therapy succeeds because it uncovers problems. In this case, I think you know what the problem is. But you don’t want to say. Why is that?”<
br />
  Yea, the man could read her like a book. Her face probably gave her away. “It’s shameful,” she whispered. “Horrible things happened and they were my fault.” She paused, expecting him to comment.

  He didn’t.

  However, his face was full of compassion. He leaned back in his chair and waited for her to find strength to continue.

  “Every time someone in my life found out the truth, they left or they turned away from me.” She hung her head. “When Revel finds out what I’ve done, what happened to me…he’ll never touch me again. He won’t love me anymore.”

  To Harper’s surprise and utter shock, Lucas laughed. When she glanced up at him in horror, he held up his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at your situation at all.”

  “Why are you laughing?” This certainly didn’t make her feel like sharing.

  “I’m laughing because of your assumption that Revel will turn away from you. Are we talking about the same man? Do you know him at all? We’re talking about Revel Lee Jones, right?” Lucas gave her a kind smile. “This man would die for you at any moment, no questions asked. Do you know how lucky you are?”

  Harper didn’t know if he was supposed to be making her feel better or worse. “I’ve considered all of this. He is faithful and loyal and a gentleman.” She balled up her fists, this time in anger not in panic. “And you know what would be worse?” Lucas met her stare. “If he didn’t walk away and he stayed with me…out of some heroic obligation.”

  Leaning back, Lucas appeared to be studying her assertions. Finally, he spoke. “Have you ever heard the old adage that a brave man dies once, but a coward dies a thousand deaths?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Well, you’ve rehearsed how this could play out a thousand times, dying a little bit inside each time you’ve convinced yourself your relationship won’t work out.” He watched her until her face relaxed into resignation. “Be brave. Face your worst fear head on. The end result can’t be any worse than what you’ve lived through in your nightmares over and over again.”