My Once and Future Love

by Carla Krae

  He handed me a business card. “My personal number, if you change your mind.”

  “Thank you for dinner. I should go.”

  He stood with me and helped me with my coat. His fingertips tickled my neck as he lifted my hair to fall over my collar, but his touch didn’t hold the same electricity Jacob’s did. We locked eyes for a moment, then he smiled and gestured for me to precede him out of the restaurant.

  He was one of those crazy people that owned a car in the city. I sat quietly during the drive back to the hotel and we shook hands goodbye on the curb.

  “It was nice catching up. I hope you’ll like the photographs,” I said.

  “Sure I will. You have my number.”

  “I do. Goodnight, Nathan.”

  I entered the hotel.

  Celeste wasn’t in our room. I set my purse on the bed and shed my coat. My purse started buzzing. Seeing Jacob’s name on the caller ID of my phone, I smiled and answered the call.

  “Hello.”

  “Gotta love this Caller ID thing, unless you always answer the phone sounding so sweet.”

  “Ha, ha. I try to be polite, but I did know it was you. How was your day?”

  “I just escaped a premiere party,” he said.

  “How fun…”

  “I couldn’t wait to get out of there, but, hey, I ran into a friend of yours.”

  My eyes widened. “Oh?”

  “The redhead? Celeste. She was with Bob, surprisingly. Did you know they were dating?”

  “She didn’t tell me who she was seeing. I don’t know that you’d call it dating…”

  “They looked pretty cozy.”

  “Celeste doesn’t get serious, is all I mean. If it lasts beyond her vacation, I’ll be amazed. You know how it goes.”

  “Wha’d’ya’ mean, I know?”

  “Jacob, I wasn’t inferring any--”

  “I’m not denyin’ I haven’t earned that reputation, but that’s in the past. You’re on my mind all the time, baby.”

  “Did you call to fight with me, or what?” I so didn’t want to get into that.

  “I missed you, of course.” He sighed. “I’m sorry… It’s been a long few days. What did you do today, love?”

  “Just work.” I kicked off my shoes. “Ran into an old friend from college. Nothing interesting.” The phone slipped out from under my chin to the floor. “Crap…sorry.”

  “What were you doing?” he asked, amused.

  “Taking off my shoes.”

  “Ooo, what else are you going to remove?”

  “Nothing. Geeze, you’re a horn dog.”

  “I haven’t kissed you since Friday. Forgive me my fantasies.”

  I could hear the smile in his voice. “I know all about your dirty mind.”

  “Baby, you don’t know the half of it.”

  “Jacob, besides our previous relationship, I practically lived with you for three years, including traveling on a tour bus for months. I’m more than acquainted.”

  He chuckled, a throaty sound that did funny things to my insides. “You’re cute when you get snooty, though I did say you’d be the only girl.”

  “Yes, but still… You could have censored yourselves a bit every so often.”

  “What would be the fun in that? I would have missed seeing you blush.”

  “Cad.” I could imagine the self-satisfied smirk on his face at that moment.

  “Where are you?” he asked, curious.

  “Where are you?”

  “My suite, on my bed checking the sports scores.”

  “Glad to know I’m so riveting you’re already watching TV. I do have to work in the morning, so…”

  “Oh, quit. You know you have my full attention!”

  “Until you find a soccer game.”

  “Football.”

  “Whatever.” My phone beeped, indicating a low battery. “Crap, my battery is dying. Talk to you soon?”

  “Just call me back on the landline.”

  “I really should go through the photos I took today.”

  “Beth…”

  “Bye!”

  I ended the call and flopped back on the bed with a groan. Why couldn’t I just talk to him?

  Chapter Fifteen

  Jacob hemmed and hawed a couple minutes, then dialed Beth’s home number. Her father answered.

  “Hello?”

  “Hello, Mr. Lawson, may I talk to Beth? This is Jacob.”

  “I’m sorry, son, but she’s out of town. Try ringing her mobile.”

  “Uh, yeah, will do… Thanks.”

  He hung up, confused. She hadn’t said a word about going out of town for work when they parted Friday. He tried calling her back, but it went straight to voice mail. Frustrated, he punched in another number.

  “What’s up? I’m on a date, man.”

  “Put your date on the phone, Bob.”

  “Yes?” she said sweetly.

  “Where’s Beth?”

  “Hello to you, too, Jake. She’s obviously not here.”

  “I know she’s not at home, pet, so you can cut the bull.”

  “A bit possessive for only dating a week, aren’t you? Beth is a grown woman, Jacob. She can go where she pleases,” she shot back.

  He sighed and tried again. “Look, as her best friend, you probably know where she actually is. Is she hiding something from me?”

  “Oh, this is so stupid! She’s in New York, okay? She’s here and she was supposed to surprise you already, but apparently Beth is a big chicken. We’re sharing a room and she’s probably sitting there hiding and still being a big chicken.”

  Bob laughed through the phone at her heated outburst.

  “Jake? You still there?”

  “Yeah… Beth is here?”

  “Yes!” they yelled.

  “But she doesn’t want to see me.”

  “No, you doofus, she just doesn’t know how to do this relationship crap. Do you realize she hasn’t had a boyfriend since you? It’s just nerves.” She sighed. “Look, we have tickets to tomorrow’s concert. If I get her backstage, can you handle the rest?”

  “He’ll do it,” Bob interjected.

  “Hey, wanker, I can speak for myself. See you tomorrow, pet.”

  “Excellent. Goodnight!”

  ****

  I was a very light sleeper and heard Celeste attempt to sneak into our room around six in the morning. “I was worried,” I mumbled.

  “Sorry. I left you a voice mail.” She let her coat drop to the floor.

  “My battery died.” I took in her sloppy appearance. “I take it you had fun?”

  She kicked off her shoes and started unzipping her dress. “God, yes.” She grabbed clean clothes and slipped into the bathroom.

  “Figures,” I muttered. I pulled the covers over my head for a couple more hours of sleep.

  “And I also received a very interesting phone call.”

  I peeked one eye out. “Oh?”

  She came back out in an oversized t-shirt. “Uh-huh. From your boyfriend.”

  “Oh.” Gulp. That’s not good.

  “Yeah. I spilled the beans, by the way. He expects to see you tonight.”

  “I’m not ready.”

  “Well, duh, I’m not sending you over un-showered-and-primped. I’m a hard-ass, I’m not cruel.”

  I glared at her. “Not what I meant and you know it. God, this was a terrible idea. I’ll meet with the client this morning and then I’m going home.”

  Celeste’s hands went onto her hips and she took a stand in front of my bed. “Oh, no, you’re not! I promised you’d be at that concert, so you are going to that concert! Grow some balls, will you, Beth? Jake is not that scary.”

  “What do you know, Miss Casual Sex? Falling in love is hard. It’s scary and messy and complicated, and don’t you dare lecture me when you never see a guy more than once!”

  “Now, you’re exaggerating. And defensive. Jake’s been putting himself full out there. Don’t you think you shoul
d meet him half way?”

  “It’s only been a week.”

  “As an official couple this time around, yeah, but come on…you two have always been building up to this. You told me he canceled his entire schedule when you were in that car accident. Stayed by your side the whole time you were in a coma. Are those the actions of a guy that doesn’t love you?”

  Celeste got into bed and got comfortable, point made. I tried to go back to sleep, but her words kept running through my mind.

  She wouldn’t leave the issue alone and dragged me shopping for tonight.

  “Just put it on.”

  “I can’t believe I let you talk me into buying this,” I argued, holding up the red halter dress.

  “It’s a great dress. Put it on, we’re going to be late.” She finished putting in her earrings.

  “I can’t wear this! This is at least a third date dress. He’s going to get the wrong idea.”

  “Only if you act slutty in it. It’ll be fine!”

  “It’s just a concert. I’ll be overdressed. I always wear jeans.” I tossed the dress on the bed.

  She threw her hands in the air. “I give up! Wear burlap, for all I care. Just put on something! I promised you would be there, so get dressed and move your butt out the door!”

  I grabbed the dress and stomped into the bathroom. “I hate you.”

  I didn’t know how Celeste scored fifth-row tickets last-minute, but there we sat, almost dead center.

  She picked up her phone.

  “Who are you texting?” I asked.

  “Just a friend.”

  “This smells like a set-up.”

  “Relax. Enjoy the show. Your paranoia is entirely unfounded. I’m your best friend, honey. I want you to be happy.”

  I sighed and shut my mouth. It was unfair to look at Celeste as the enemy. It was just… I’d always been in competition with females my age. There’d been no other way of relating, really. You either ended up resenting each other over grades, the better job, or the cutest guy. I never possessed what got a girl the cutest guy, so the place to shine was with my mind.

  Every time he looked in our direction, I felt like hiding, though he couldn’t see detail past the front row because of the bright lights. His ability to seem like he connected with every girl he looked toward was one of the reasons his concerts sold so well. The fans felt like they had their “moment” with Jake Lindsey.

  When Jacob sang “Sleeping Beauty”, though, I started to wonder if he’d been clued in on our seating position. He spent nearly the entire song looking right at me. The audience even turned around to try to find the object of his attention. I shrank down in my seat.

  It was the longest concert of my life.

  When the break came before the band encore, I jumped out of my seat, heading for the restrooms.

  “I can’t breathe…” I locked myself in a bathroom stall and dropped my head in my hands. Get a grip, you big baby. You haven’t locked yourself in a bathroom since high school.

  “Beth, are you in here?”

  “Yeah…”

  “You okay?”

  “I just need a few minutes.”

  “Okay…” The outer door opened and shut again.

  Celeste would be waiting right outside. I sat there thinking over the past week.

  From the moment Jacob declared his feelings, there’d been all this pressure. He wanted an answer, our friends wanted us to hook up, the press wanted my picture…it was all too fast and out of control. I hated being out of control.

  Mind made up, I left the stall, glanced at my reflection in the mirror, and exited the restroom. Celeste stood right where I expected, holding our purses.

  “Ready?” she asked.

  “Yeah.”

  She led the way, pulling an access badge out of her bag when we reached the security checkpoint. We were shown to the dressing rooms by a guard and told to knock and wait. Bob came out and smiled at her. He kissed her, then nodded to the door for me.

  “He’s in there.”

  “So, you’re the one she was with last night.”

  He grinned. “Guilty as charged.” They walked away.

  I rolled my eyes and knocked on the door, turning the knob. “You decent?”

  “That depends on the definition,” Jacob said.

  He came out of the bathroom in low-slung jeans, a towel draped around his bare shoulders. My mouth went dry. Holy mother of abs…

  “I, um…”

  He smirked and grabbed a button-down shirt, his muscles rippling as he slipped his arms into the sleeves. I turned my attention to the guitar laying in the open case.

  “New?” Great. Reduced to single syllable words.

  “Just released this year. It was my birthday present to me.”

  “That’s nice.”

  Did I miss his birthday this year? I’m sure I sent a card. It was only a week after mine.

  “Yeah. Beth…sit. I’m not going to bite. Unless you ask me to.”

  He took my hand and guided me to the velvet sofa. I sat, not too close, smoothing my dress over my knees, adjusting my coat, and did anything but look at him.

  “So…” he tried prompting.

  “So.”

  “You came to New York. First time?”

  “Nope. A lot of our business is here.” I’d been here as his assistant, too, not that he remembered. I pulled my hand out of his grip.

  “Did you come just for work, or…?”

  “No. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

  “What did you have in mind?”

  Shrugging one shoulder, I said, “I don’t know…something easier. This is why I don’t do spontaneity. Celeste took over in her usual way and it all snowballed out of my control.”

  “It’s only Wednesday, love,” he teased, probably in an attempt to cheer me up.

  I sighed, turning the band decorating my right ring finger around and around. “I thought I could do the romantic surprise thing, but I’m not ready, Jacob. I know it seems…weird, to go at a slow pace after…before, but that’s all I can do. I can barely wrap my head around it that you… I need to pretend we’re regular people.” I finally lifted my head. “So, I’m going to finish my work here and go home, and I’ll see you when you get back.”

  “What if I don’t want you to leave?”

  “What are you gonna do, lock me in your hotel room? That’ll make a good headline for the tabloids.” I got up to leave, but he was faster to the door.

  “Get out of my way.” I glared up at him.

  “Make me.”

  “This is childish, Jacob. Move.”

  “Stop running. You decided to come here, Beth. I had nothing to do with it.” He squared his feet and crossed his arms over his chest.

  I huffed, spun one-eighty, and plopped down on the sofa, pouting, frowning at him and impatiently tapping my foot.

  He grinned and leaned against the door. “You can be such a brat.”

  “Learned it from you,” I spat.

  He didn’t bite on my bait. “Sweetheart, how hard is it to just spend time with me?”

  “You’re not just you--there’s a whole world of you. And I’m just me.”

  “Ah, we’re back to my career again. What should I do, Beth, quit?”

  “Hey, I told you there were plenty other better suited girls than me. I was fine where I was!”

  “Really.”

  “Yes, really!”

  “Liar.”

  I dropped my gaze to the guitar case. “Asshole.”

  “You wore a dress tonight.” He came closer. “For me.”

  “No. Celeste kinda forced me.” Plucking at the red fabric, I asked, “Does this look like my style?”

  “The color is quite fetching.”

  “Who says ‘fetching’? Stop trying to change the subject. I’m mad at you.”

  “Are you really?” he asked, amused.

  I stomped my foot. “Yes, dammit! You won’t let me leave.” I pressed my back int
o the couch when he stopped right in front of me. “What are you doing?” My heart started pounding like it always did when he was this close.

  He knelt on the floor. “I wanna see.” He gently tugged on my arms. “Please? You came thousands of miles to wear a lovely dress to my concert. You don’t want to hurt the feelings of this pretty frock, do you?”

  My resolve faltered. Jacob was better at the puppy eyes and pout than most five-year-olds. Combined with his velvety smooth, mildly English-accented voice, I was pretty much doomed. That explained why I allowed him to pull me to my feet to slide the coat off my shoulders.

  Uh-huh.

  ****

  His breath hitched, the sound barely audible. The draped neckline of the dress dipped just low enough for an alluring amount of cleavage, cranberry red silk highlighting her fair complexion perfectly. His hands traced up her arms; he brushed her hair back to reveal her bare shoulders. Her hair was longer than he’d seen it in years. Taking a slight step forward, his arms now had enough reach to trail his hands from her shoulders down her back.

  Her skin was still as soft as he remembered, and broke out in goose bumps beneath his hands. She trembled. The dress nearly exposed her entire back—he’d have to thank her friend for picking it out some day.

  ****

  I refused to look up at him, afraid of what would happen if our eyes met, and sighed in relief when he let go of me…until his hand cupped my cheek.

  “Look at me, love.”

  My eyes flicked up to nose level, then away. My cheek felt hot against his hand.

  “You have no idea how beautiful you are, do you? You remembered to wear your hair down.”

  “I-I didn’t have time to--”

  It felt so good when he ran his fingers through my hair.

  “Beth… I’m going to kiss you.”

  He leaned in. His lips barely brushed mine; I pulled back. If I let him kiss me now, I’d never leave. He followed my retreat and made contact again. I moaned and wrapped my arms around his neck.

  Someone pounded on the door. “Hey, Jake, they’re going to lock you in, man!”

  Bob’s voice.

  Spell broken, Jacob stepped away from me, running a hand through his hair.

  “Alright, be out in a minute,” he called.

  I put on my coat. He sighed and closed the guitar case, latching the lid, then put on his jacket and slung his bag over his shoulder. I held the door open so he could carry out all his gear, avoiding his eyes again.