Cicada Spring

by Christian Galacar

  They laughed, lifting the tension from the sentimental moment.

  She leaned farther off the couch and patted him firmly on the shoulder. “I have no doubt about that. Just glad I didn’t have to find out the hard way.”

  Gaines winced, grabbing his arm. “Easy, still a little sore.”

  “Sorry.” She quickly removed her hand.

  “And I suppose I owe you a bit of gratitude, too,” Gaines said. “Don’t think I don’t know I wouldn’t have made it outta there if it wasn’t for you. I doubt Harry would’ve called me an ambulance. Probably would’ve finished me off if you hadn’t—” He stopped himself before entering the unchartered territory of her killing Harry Bennett.

  Catherine looked away briefly, and then just as quickly her gaze returned. “What? Shot him? It’s okay, you can say it. I’m not as fragile as you think.”

  “I don’t think that. Trust me. And it has nothing to do with being fragile.” Gaines used his good arm to push himself up the bed. “I know I can’t speak from experience, but I don’t imagine taking a man’s life is as easy as squashing a fly and getting on with your day.”

  Catherine’s face darkened. “You’re probably right. I don’t doubt that. But I wouldn’t know anything about taking a man’s life.”

  “How do you mean? You killed him, didn’t you?” Gaines said, slightly confused.

  “Maybe Harry lived and breathed like you and me, but that doesn’t mean he was anything close to being a man. He was something much less, believe me. I saw those pictures—hell, I didn’t even need to see them to know he was guilty, I always knew—and anyone who could do that deserves far worse than the quick exit he got. Part of me wishes he were still alive. Some time in prison, taking what he was giving, would’ve been better suited for him.” There was no remorse in her eyes. Nothing that even resembled it. “So like I said, I don’t know what it’s like to take a man’s life. Squash a bug, sure.”

  “Seems like maybe you’ve thought about this more than you let on.”

  “Enough, I guess.” Catherine relaxed some. She’d brought herself to the edge of her seat again, and now she eased back. “Enough to know that I shouldn’t lose any sleep over it.”

  “No, I suppose you shouldn’t. I can’t say as I see it like you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t understand what you mean or that I think you’re wrong,” Gaines said.

  Catherine nodded, the corners of her mouth twitching ever so slightly.

  A nurse entered holding an assortment of bandages in her hands. “Time to change your dressings, doll,” she announced.

  Gaines held up a hand. “Could you actually give us a few minutes?”

  The nurse stopped and looked at Catherine. The two smiled politely at each other.

  “No, it’s fine,” Catherine said. “Let her do what she needs to do. We can chat some more later. I need to get back—”

  “I need to talk to you about something,” Gaines said. “It won’t take long.”

  “I’ll come back in ten, but after that, you’re all mine. Need to keep that clean,” the nurse said.

  “Ten it is.” Gaines gave her a thumbs-up. “You have my word.”

  The nurse walked out.

  “What do you need to talk about?” Catherine leaned forward, her hands planted on her knees.

  Gaines regarded her earnestly. “How’re things going for you at the station? You’re pretty much running the show now, aren’t you?”

  “Pretty good, all things considered. I feel a little strange telling people what to do. I get the idea some of the guys don’t think I should be in the position I am. No one’s said anything, but I can tell. And I don’t know how seriously the locals take me. To them, I’m still the little girl they all knew growing up.” Catherine folded her arms and looked sideways. “I mean, it isn’t like an official thing that I’m in charge or anything. It kind of just happened that way.”

  “You don’t think that says something?” Gaines said.

  “What’re you talkin’ about?” Catherine narrowed her eyes.

  “That you stepped into the role without being told to,” Gaines said. “In my experience, leaders are hardly ever chosen at random. They’re either elected, like I was, or they emerge out of necessity, and that’s you. The ones that come about in your fashion are the best kind. It’s a truer leadership. Anyone can get elected under the right circumstances, but that doesn’t make them a leader. Don’t believe it, look at me.”

  “Cal—”

  “Let me finish. I ran for sheriff because at the time there was an empty seat in Heartsridge County when Billy Surret died—that and I had a kid, and Linn thought it’d be a good pay bump. Christ, I barely had any experience. I was still wet behind the ears. The only reason I was elected was because no one opposed me. All the other deputies were either too close to retirement and had no interest, or they were morons, so it seemed like a no-brainer. Sometimes the timing is just right. It was an easy choice, not necessarily the best choice, though. But you, you did what had to be done when it needed to be done, and that’s admirable, that’s baptism by fire. You’ve already proved to yourself you can handle the job. You can’t learn that kind of courage, it’s just who you are. The same way I was born a man and you were born a woman. You don’t get to choose.”

  Catherine raised her eyebrows. “I don’t know that I’d call myself a leader. I mean sure, I’m keeping things going while you’re in here, but that won’t last. This is a temporary thing. Believe me, people will be glad to see you come back. I’ll be glad.”

  “And what if it wasn’t temporary?” Gaines asked.

  Catherine’s lips parted and her eyes widened. “Look, maybe you’re just a little shaken right now, but—”

  “I’m not shaken. I’ve thought about this a lot, mostly before this all happened. This”—he pointed to his chest—“me getting shot, and you killing Harry, was just what it took for me know I wasn’t crazy for thinking it. I’m not cut out for this. I never was. Maybe collaring drunks and settling disputes and petty stuff like that, sure. But girls getting raped, murder, all this self-serving darkness in people, I just don’t have the stomach for that. And until last week, I honestly was naïve enough to think Heartsridge was spared all that miserable stuff. But it isn’t. No place is, I suppose. Even if it’s not right out in the open, if you know where to look, it’s always there.”

  Catherine stood, running a hand through her hair and beginning to pace slowly. “You sure they haven’t cranked your meds up a bit too high? You’re talking a little loopy.” She pretended to check his IV. It was a joke, but her face wouldn’t lie; she knew he was serious. Or at the very least, that he believed the words he was saying.

  “I’m sure. I don’t want this burden anymore. That’s what it feels like now, you know that? A burden. You’re more suited for this than I ever was. You knew from the get-go that Harry was guilty. You had no doubt.” Gaines shook his head, staring down at his lap, ashamed. “The worst part is that I think I did, too, but was just too foolish to do anything about it. And that’s really what matters. I saw what I wanted to see. I should’ve let you run with it. I should’ve trusted you. Who knows, maybe I wouldn’t be laid up in this bed right now, and you wouldn’t have had to shoot someone and almost get yourself killed.”

  “You can’t beat yourself up for that,” Catherine said. “I was a little hotheaded about the whole thing at first. I had my own agenda. And besides, you were only doing your job.”

  “No, I wasn’t,” Gaines said abruptly, looking her hard in the eyes. “You were doing my job. I was doing what was safe. And Kara Price deserved better than safe. You knew that, but I couldn’t see it.”

  “So you’re just going to step down—quit?”

  “If that’s how you want to see it. Or you could look at it as I’m turning the job over to someone more qualified.”

  Catherine scoffed. “I don’t think you can just give me the job like that. I mean, it’s a nice gesture and all, but—”
>
  “No, but the county advisors will need an interim sheriff, and I have enough influence to make sure they choose who I say for my remaining term. After that, it’s outta my hands. If you want to keep the position, you’ll have to earn it. You got a little while until the next election, so show the people what you’re capable of. Prove to them what you’ve already proven to me.”

  “I don’t even know where to begin.”

  Gaines’s face lightened. “Maybe I can point you in the right direction. Consider this a gift for saving my life.”

  “What gift? What’re you talking about?”

  “You heard back about the ballistics on Millis’s gun yet?” Gaines asked.

  “No. They said a few weeks on the results.”

  “Good. Once they figure it out, you’ll have lost your chance.”

  “Figure what out? I don’t follow,” Catherine said.

  “There was something else in the bottom of that ammunition box. Some driver’s licenses Millis was… collecting, I guess you could say. They should still be in there.”

  “What? Whose licenses?”

  “You’ll figure it out. Gotta earn it, remember? But when you do connect the dots—and I know you will—those news cameras aren’t gonna want me. So do us both this favor.”

  Catherine’s eyes were bright with curiosity but undercut by confusion. “I don’t really know what to say. I wasn’t expecting this.”

  “Say you’ll do it,” Gaines said. “It’s time for me to move on to something else. You’re the right person for the job. I never was.”

  “Yes,” she said with little hesitation. “I’ll do it. I can’t say I have any clue what I’m doing, but I’ll do it.”

  Gaines grinned. “You’ll do just fine, I have no doubt. I’ll place a call tomorrow and make it official. Just look into the licenses in that box and you’ll have no problem earning people’s respect.”

  “I will, I promise. The second I leave here.” Catherine came closer and stood beside his bed. “What’ll you do? You can’t retire, you’re too young—hole in your chest or not.”

  “Flattery will get you nowhere,” Gaines joked. “To tell you the truth, I don’t know what I’ll do. I haven’t really thought about that yet. But I’m not worried. In my experience, the next thing is always right around the corner.” He glanced beyond Catherine briefly. “Now before I get in trouble, I think I need to let this nurse do her job. I’m getting the evil eye. Last thing I want is an angry woman taking care of me.”

  Catherine looked behind her.

  The nurse was standing in the back of the room. “Time’s up,” she said pleasantly.

  “So it is,” Gaines said, looking at Catherine. “So it is.”

  Catherine nodded at Gaines and stuck out her hand. They shook. “I’ll tell those reporters not to wait up,” she said.

  “Thanks, Catherine. Oh, and maybe you want this.” He opened a small drawer in his bedside table and pulled out his sheriff’s badge. He tossed it to Catherine, and she caught it. “Anyone gives you any trouble, this should shut ’em up. I don’t need it anymore.”

  Catherine eyed the badge thoughtfully for a moment. “So this is really what you want, huh?”

  “It is,” Gaines said. “It’s for the best.”

  “I hope you know what you’re doing.” Catherine sighed.

  “Does anyone ever? Just take the leap and hope for the best. The bets we dare to make when the odds are against us are what define us. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. But that’s life. We can’t always protect ourselves. And as long as you do your honest best with what you have, everything else is just noise.”

  “I think you’re probably right.” Catherine slid the badge into her pocket and looked at him without saying a word for a few moments. Then she smiled. “Take care, Cal.” She grabbed her hat off the couch, set it atop her head, and walked out, her stride sure and steady.

  With a heavy heart, Gaines watched her go, until she disappeared around the corner, taking in her pocket the last decade of his life. It wasn’t easy, but the most important things never were.

  The nurse approached and set a small plastic bin down beside him. It was full of pads and wipes and gauze and sterile things. “Hope I didn’t interrupt anything too important,” the nurse said.

  “Not at all. I’m ready when you are.” Gaines smiled wanly.

  The nurse pushed another dose of morphine into his IV. It would take the edge off, and he didn’t mind that right now.

  Gaines turned his head to the side and looked out the window as the nurse began removing his bandages. Divine warmth rushed through his body. His eyes fell heavy again. The stars were just beginning to poke through the early night sky and twinkle like a million tiny eyes of God. All the while, Catherine’s question lingered in the back of his mind: What would he do now? It was a legitimate question, one for which he did not have an answer. But that was okay. He was certain an opportunity would present itself, if it hadn’t already. After all, a position had just opened up down at Town Hall, and Gaines was sure that somewhere inside him he had at least one more blind leap into the unknown left.

  He closed his eyes and allowed himself to drift off into the stars. He would rest now. Tomorrow there would be much to do.

  ABOUT THE AUTHOR

  Christian Galacar grew up in Ipswich, Massachusetts, a small suburb north of Boston. He attended the University of Massachusetts Amherst, where he received a BBA degree in Finance. Although interested in writing fiction from a young age, it wasn't until 2012 that he decided to pursue it as a career. He is always working on a next book. To receive updates on future releases and other announcements, subscribe to his newsletter at www.christiangalacar.com. He promises not to fill your inbox with unnecessary newsletters.

  Follow on Twitter and Facebook

  Or reach out through email at cgalacar@gmail.com

  Other Novels

  GILCHRIST

  ONE LAST THING

  So you’ve made it this far. Congratulations! You’re awesome and I already think you deserve a lifetime without ever having to visit a dentist again. Unless, of course, you like that sort of thing, in which case I cannot help you. Just kidding—I am forever grateful, regardless of your bizarre behavior. All I ask is that you take a moment to write an honest review. The power of your opinion is greater than you may know and helps bring my work to the attention of others. Thank you for any consideration you give this, dear reader, and I hope you continue to read what I write. Drive safe.