Torn Apart

by Susan Aihoshi

Mama went to Stanley Park for the service with the Japanese Canadian veterans. She said there was a good turnout at the memorial, and that it was nice seeing the men from the same battalion as her uncle. They must be getting really old, but Mama says they still remember Uncle Hiko almost twenty-five years later!

  Thursday, November 20

  Rain again today. Harry’s started coughing too. Hope he’s not getting sick.

  Just realized that it’s been a whole month since the gang told Billy off and he’s left me alone!

  Friday, November 28

  Harry had a fever, so Mama kept him home from school today and didn’t go out to work. She almost cancelled tea night, but Harry’s temperature was back to normal when I got home from school. Her friends are here now, so Kay and Emma stayed in to look after Harry. Emma just checked and he’s sound asleep. I hope he’s better soon.

  Thursday, December 4

  Harry was well enough to go to school today.

  Sunday, December 7

  Today began as a beautiful sunny day. We all went to mass, except Geechan, who went to his Buddhist church. Father Benedict asked us to pray for an end to this war once more. But after we got home, Papa turned on the radio and we learned something dreadful has happened.

  The announcer said that Japan had bombed America’s military base at Pearl Harbor in Hawaii early this morning. American battleships were sunk or damaged and many airplanes destroyed. Even worse, hundreds of people were killed or injured. I felt terrible hearing this and Mama and Papa looked really unhappy.

  The phone rang right after we heard the news. Mr. Kusumi wanted Mama to come in to the newspaper early tomorrow to help prepare a special issue about Japan’s surprise attack.

  We were all quiet at supper tonight. Except for Harry, who was being his usual yancha self, pretending to fly his toy airplane as a bomber. I asked him to stop because I kept thinking about the real people who died. He said I was picking on him, so I called him thoughtless. Mama scolded me, saying Harry is too young to understand, but she took his plane away. He sulked until supper was over. Mike says this action of Japan’s won’t be good for us. He’s probably right.

  The day ended so differently from how it began. The war has finally become real in a way it never was before.

  Monday, December 8

  Canada is at war with Japan!

  I’m so confused and scared. Maybe writing about it will help.

  The papers arrived this morning and all the headlines were about Pearl Harbor. The attack killed more people than I first thought — THOUSANDS have died. And many more have been wounded. I feel sick thinking about it.

  At Templeton everyone was talking about the attack, expecting President Roosevelt to declare war against Japan any moment. Then this afternoon we learned that Canada already has. As soon as Mrs. Prentice made the announcement, Billy and some other boys cheered. Mrs. P. asked them to be quiet. She said we must remember that the students of Japanese background in this school are Canadian and shouldn’t be confused with the Japanese in Japan. But some of the kids kept looking at me. Billy was actually glaring.

  Then when I got back from school, both Mama and Papa were at home! The government has closed all the Japanese newspapers! Only one can still publish — and it’s not Mama’s paper, it’s the New Canadian. Mike muttered that it’s the only one the government can read because it’s all English! Every Japanese-language school in B.C. has been closed down too.

  Papa came home early because Mr. Cowan told him to take a few days off. When I asked why, Papa would only say it was just until things settle down. We found out the real reason when Tad came home later.

  This morning some hakujin customers complained to Mr. Cowan about Papa. They actually believed he has something to do with the Japanese who attacked Pearl Harbor. That is so crazy! Papa was born in Japan but he’s Canadian. We all consider ourselves one hundred percent Canadian, except perhaps Geechan, and even he’s lived in Canada over twenty-five years!

  Tad’s able to keep working at Cowan’s because he’s either in the stockroom or out doing deliveries, so no one pays him much attention. He says it helps not having a Japanese accent! But Mr. Cowan was very busy today without Papa around.

  Later

  On the eight o’clock news, we listened to President Roosevelt’s speech declaring war on Japan at last. He called December 7 “a date which will live in infamy.” Then the announcer said the Canadian navy has seized all the fishing boats belonging to Japanese Canadians in B.C. — twelve hundred in total! Papa shook his head in disbelief.

  And the last strange thing is blackout. This is not practice anymore. Tonight all our windows must be covered with curtains or heavy blankets so not a sliver of light can show. People are terrified that Japan could attack right here in Vancouver and they don’t want any lights to provide targets!

  Tuesday, December 9

  Last night I woke up and heard Harry crying, scared by the total darkness everywhere. Mike brought him upstairs and put him in Mama and Papa’s bed, but I couldn’t get back to sleep right away. I don’t think anyone slept very well last night.

  And there’s nothing but bad news in the papers this morning. President Roosevelt’s speech is printed in full. Yesterday Japan attacked Hong Kong as well as the Philippines and destroyed many more American planes.

  Later

  Since the Pearl Harbor attack, we’re expected to try harder to meet Templeton’s War Saving Stamps targets. The girls are supposed to do more for the Red Cross, so I agreed to knit some socks even though I’m bad at it. Knitting doesn’t make me feel any better about this war, but Sachi says it makes her feel useful.

  It’s so peculiar having both Mama and Papa here after school. Mama at least keeps busy sewing, but poor Papa doesn’t know what to do. He can’t go to his club anymore because it’s been closed. The newspapers are all scattered across the dining-room table and he reads them over and over. Mama says he listens to every news report on different radio stations throughout the day. I hope he’s back at work soon!

  Miss Alston called to say Guide meetings are cancelled this month. We had only one more before Christmas break, but I’m still disappointed.

  And when he was coming home tonight, Tad almost hit another car. It’s hard enough seeing in the gloom, but now all vehicles must put blackout shields on their lights. Tad’s lucky he can still drive because making drugstore deliveries is considered important. Cars and trucks may soon be allowed on the road only for essential purposes. People will have to get special permits for everything else. Just what we need, Tad said, more permits!

  Wednesday, December 10

  Today was election day in Vancouver but the only Japanese allowed to vote were the veterans from the Great War. Only one other Japanese person, a Mr. Sugiyama, was able to vote here today, because he’s a naturalized British subject.

  That’s ridiculous! Someone from another country can vote, but naturalized Canadians like Papa and Mama or those born here like Tad can’t! Mike says that’s why the government won’t let Japanese Canadians enlist — they’d have to give them the vote. I wish we could vote, if only to get rid of that awful alderman, Halford Wilson.

  For years, Papa and Mama have been saying what a horrible man Mr. Wilson is. He thinks anyone with Japanese ancestry is a menace! He tried to ban us from getting business licences and he wants all Orientals to live and work in just one part of the city. Once I even heard Mama call him baka — she never uses that word for anyone else.

  Later

  Went to choir practice with Maggie and Sachi. Just made it home before it was totally dark. Blackout’s on again tonight — it’s so depressing. I’ve done all my homework and am going to bed!

  Thursday, December 11

  The United States has declared war on Germany and Italy. I feel like the world has gone crazy.

  But one good thing happened today. The milkman was delivering our bottles as I was about to leave for school this morning. He asked me to tell my parents he
’s sorry some people are so negative about the Japanese here in Vancouver. He said they’re his best customers and the nicest people! I thanked him and ran in to tell Mama and Papa. That cheered them up for a little while at least.

  Friday, December 12

  Papa went back to work today! Mr. Cowan couldn’t spare him any longer. Now that winter’s almost here, lots of people are sick with colds and flu. I hope that Harry doesn’t catch anything. Papa doesn’t give out any medicines because no Japanese Canadians in B.C. can get a pharmacist’s licence, but Mr. Cowan says he really needs Papa back to take orders and help prepare the prescriptions. Which reminds me, Papa made us start taking a daily dose of Wampole’s Vitamin Tonic this morning — ugh! But Maggie’s mother always gives her cod liver oil — double ugh! — so I shouldn’t complain.

  After supper I read the New Canadian. The news is all discouraging. Eighteen hundred fishermen are out of work along with fifty newspaper workers (and that includes Mama!) and all the Japanese schoolteachers. Section hands and redcaps were dismissed from the CPR, bellhops fired from the hotels, sawmill hands laid off. Somebody set fire to a rooming house on Alexander Street and smashed windows in some West End and Grandview shops. All because the workers or business owners are Japanese!

  It makes me feel sick. How can anybody do such dreadful things? How will people who have lost their jobs pay their bills and buy food for their families? We’ve heard about some awful things happening to Jewish people in Germany because of the Nazis, like being confined to just certain areas in the cities. That sounded so far away until now. I keep telling myself at least we live in Canada and those things can’t possibly happen to us.

  Sunday, December 14

  Father Benedict’s sermon about Pearl Harbor this morning made me cranky, but I forgot about it once I got home. Spent the entire weekend helping with the Christmas baking. It kept my mind off worrying! The girls even came over to help yesterday because Kay was working. Emma made plum pudding, while Mama did the Christmas cakes. Maggie and Sachi mixed cookie dough while Ellen and I rolled it and cut out the shapes. Harry helped us decorate them. We saved up our sugar for this, but at least it hasn’t been rationed like in England. The house smelled so good!

  Tuesday, December 16

  We had a drill at school today. Mrs. P. gave out gas masks and showed how to use them. We pretended to study until a siren went off. Then we put on our masks and had to evacuate the building. Once everyone had them on, we realized how bizarre we looked — even Mrs. Prentice!

  I can’t wait for the holidays. I haven’t enjoyed school since Pearl Harbor, and Billy’s back making faces at me. At least the teachers have acted normal, and the other hakujin students haven’t been nasty, but all the Japanese kids at Temp are feeling uncomfortable. I never thought anyone would ever confuse us with the Japanese in Japan, but I was wrong. Sachi says there’s a cloud of suspicion over us now. She’s right.

  Wednesday, December 17

  Mama went Christmas shopping on Powell Street today. She usually visits Woodward’s once a month but since Pearl Harbor she’s been avoiding stores like that. When I asked why and she explained, I got upset again. When Mama’s friend Mrs. Oda was in Woodward’s last week, a salesclerk told her to go back to Japan where she belonged! Mrs. Oda was so shocked, she left the store without her shopping. Mama says there are good buys at Shibuya’s and she’ll check out Furuya’s and Maikawa’s next week.

  The New Canadian is publishing free ads for people in our community looking for help or for work. That makes me feel better about all those who lost their jobs. I hope the Japanese stores will need extra help if everyone avoids the hakujin shops this Christmas.

  I helped Harry write his letter to Santa Claus tonight. We’re going to mail it tomorrow.

  Thursday, December 18

  Not a good day. Mama was crying but tried to hide it from us. Mrs. Shimura told Mama that when her son was in Stanley Park yesterday, he noticed the light on the memorial to Japanese Canadians soldiers had been turned off! Diary, I admit I used to get tired of Mama telling us about how Great Uncle fought and died for Canada. But this is really rotten.

  Papa and Geechan were talking in Japanese after supper tonight. Papa was saying the government now wants Geechan to report to the RCMP every month because he never became naturalized. Geechan was unhappy about this and Papa was having a hard time explaining. I think he was asking Geechan to be patient and put up with this situation. I feel bad for them both.

  Friday, December 19

  Templeton’s Christmas concert was this afternoon — it was great. All our practice paid off! My favourite songs were “I Saw Three Ships,” “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear” and “Deck the Halls.” We ended with a non-Christmas song and everyone cheered our hit parade special — “Chattanooga Choo Choo!” It made a good start for the weekend!

  Saturday, December 20

  Emma and I did our Christmas shopping today. I finished most of mine, although it was hard having Emma in the stores with me. But I managed!

  It was odd not shopping in Woodward’s. But my sisters and I decided if their salespeople are rude to a kind person like Mrs. Oda, we’d shop on Powell Street instead. There were nihonjin everywhere. I never knew there were so many of us! But the clerks spoke perfectly good English. And why wouldn’t they, since most were born here! Like the girl in Maikawa’s who thanked us for our business and gave us free candy canes. I’m saving mine for Harry.

  Tad got excited reading the New Canadian tonight. There was a photo of Corporal Jack Nakamoto. He travelled east three years ago and finally joined the Royal Canadian Engineers of Quebec last year. Tad said that maybe he should go to Quebec to get into the army. I must have looked upset because he said he was just joking.

  Blackout’s been lifted. It would have been too dismal at Christmas! Tonight we put up some cedar boughs and holly inside the house. It’s starting to look cheery. Harry has started searching for presents, so I’ll be careful where I hide mine!

  Sunday, December 21

  Harry couldn’t sit still in church today because Tad and Mike were taking him to get our Christmas tree right afterwards. The rest of us went home to clear space in the living room. The boys came back with a big fir tree and now the whole house smells even more Christmassy.

  We spent all afternoon decorating. Papa got out our first set of electric Christmas lights he bought last year and put them on the tree. Kay and Emma made popcorn and strung it with thread to make garlands. Harry ate so much we only ended up with two strands! Then we added the ornaments. I love the old European ones Mama and Papa have had since before Tad was born. I made a few little origami cranes for the final touch. Geechan taught me how to make them a few years ago and now I can do it pretty quickly. The tree looks perfect!

  I read an article tonight saying sales of bicycles, wagons, ice skates and roller skates will soon be banned because Canada needs the metal for the war effort. People should buy toys now while supplies last. I hope Harry gets his ice skates from Santa this Christmas!

  Tuesday, December 23

  The holidays are finally here! Maggie, Ellen, Sachi and I ran all the way home from school. The girls came in for Ovaltine and admired our Christmas tree. Maggie really likes the origami cranes I made. I said I’d come by early tomorrow to see her tree before her family has their big holiday meal at lunchtime, the way Swedish people traditionally do.

  Wednesday, December 24

  I took Harry with me when I went to Maggie’s this morning because now that school’s out, Mama said he’s being urusai. I gave Maggie some pretty origami paper and promised to show her how to make a crane later. She gave me a cute little straw goat for our tree. Mrs. Svendson also gave me some gingerbread cookies for our family. We wished Maggie’s family a Merry Christmas and went home. That darn Harry ate nearly all the cookies before I stopped him!

  I stayed out of the living room when the news came on tonight and didn’t look at the papers either. I’m not spoiling Chr
istmas Eve with bad news!

  Thursday, December 25

  Christmas Day. I’m sitting on my bed writing and sorting out my thoughts. I usually love Christmas, but today’s been very different.

  We all got up early and opened our presents around the tree. But the only one who seemed to be enjoying himself was Harry. The rest of us were quiet, even Kay. I suppose we were thinking about what could happen in the coming weeks. Papa’s been more positive about things since he went back to work, but Mama, Mike and Geechan aren’t. Tad still wants to enlist, but Pearl Harbor is a huge setback for him.

  We did get some nice gifts. Mama made everyone clothes again and Santa brought Harry his ice skates and warm slippers for Geechan. Harry also got a Meccano set and I gave him an airplane jigsaw puzzle.

  At mass this morning, the church was full and people wished each other Merry Christmas, but I thought the spirit behind the words was missing. I can’t really explain why. Father Benedict talked about the feeling of hope we have with the birth of the Christ child. But instead of being hopeful, I was sad. I can’t imagine what Christmas must be like for those fishermen’s families and the other Japanese here who lost their jobs through no fault of their own. Or the families of the people who died at Pearl Harbor. I was glad to get home.