You Are Mine

by Janeal Falor

  My stomach roils at the thought of food. “I'm not sure I could eat anything.”

  “It's been a long day, we'll at least try.”

  How can I even try when a helpless girl was murdered in front of me?

  ***

  Once we're settled on a bench in the garden, Annabelle collapses against me. I lean into her and we support each other.

  “That was a horribly long time,” she says. “I thought I'd drop the jug. Guess I know why cook is frantic when it's our turn to host the meeting. Hope someone comes with food soon. I'm famished. Are you truly not hungry?”

  “Not at all.”

  “Why not? It's been a full day.”

  I close my eyes. Even if it weren't for the Chancellor's threat, there's the sacrifice. Should I tell her about it? The dead woman on the same table as the food? A woman who will never get a chance at anything. It seemed normal for a council meeting. If it happens every time, how many more have been killed? How many more will be killed? The forgotten shadows are dying without anyone to care.

  When I open my eyes, Annabelle's face is filled with concern. How much does she know?

  I ask, “Has Councilman Daniel told you about the meetings before?”

  “No, nothing. I only know he hates them, but goes so he can try to do good. When Jonathan told me I was wanted, I couldn't believe it. What were you doing there?”

  “Same thing as you.” But I shouldn't have pulled any of us into this situation. “You seemed concerned about what we said earlier, why?”

  “You're good at avoiding my questions.” She sighs. “Daniel always warned me that meetings are spelled. He said I should never go around them and if I had to, be careful of what I said. This place is protected, we can speak freely. You can tell me what's bothering you.”

  That makes sense with having to avoiding meetings at Father's or Zade's. I drag my weary body up and move to touch the drying leaves of a bush. “Something happened before you came. Something that I think was normal to everyone else, but...”

  “What is it? You can tell me.”

  I take a deep breath. “They sacrificed a woman.”

  A bird chirps in the distance, it's happy sound no comfort.

  “But we don't have an altar. There's never been any signs of one. I've never seen a body. Are you sure?”

  I feel myself growing more numb. “They used the table.”

  When she says nothing, the words tremble from my mouth. “The Grand Chancellor did it a few feet from me. He cast a spell and a dagger was in his hand. I couldn't watch, but he did something to her. When I looked again, she was dead.” The sight of her won't leave me. “I thought I was going to be sick and afterward the warlocks laughed about it. Laughed and mocked and jeered. None of them even mentioned the fact that a person was just killed.”

  She flutters to me and throws her arms around me. I'm too numb to have it shock me, but the gesture lightens some of my load.

  “I can't believe you had to go through that. No wonder Daniel always hates the meetings. I can't even—” She bursts into tears on my shoulder.

  The only time I've comforted someone who's crying was one of my younger sisters. I'm not sure how to help. Mostly, I feel like crying with her. Instead, I give her shoulder a pat.

  From behind the foliage next to us, a male voice says, “Gertrude said you wanted—”

  Before the thought is finished, Councilman Daniel and Zade come into view. Daniel drops the basket he's carrying and rushes to us. Annabelle latches onto him.

  “What's the matter darling? Was it too much for you? I'm sorry. It's all my fault. The opportunity presented itself and I thought you'd want to take advantage of it. You won't ever have to do it again.”

  “It's not that,” she says, voice muffled by his shoulder. “Serena told me what they did before I came.”

  Councilman Daniel meets my eyes, his brows drawn. Blast. I shouldn't have told her.

  “Sorry, Daniel,” Zade says. My chest tightens. He has yet to look at me. “I didn't think this would affect anyone but Serena.”

  “Don't worry about it. I've been meaning to tell her, but never knew how. If anything, I'm grateful she's knows.”

  I step back from them. Never have I seen a man and woman act as such. Something about it pulls at me. I feel as if I broke Annabelle. Broke her sunny disposition. Broke the way things are done. Broke everything.

  Whether Councilman Daniel would have told her or not, Annabelle wouldn't be in tears right now if it weren't for me. I'm surprised he hasn't punished her yet. Then I realize, she always calls him by just his first name, not his title. And they're entwined in such a sweet way. Her fingers clasped behind his neck. His arms wrapped around her. He's whispering things in her ear. Perhaps there are others more like Zade than I thought.

  Watching them feels like I'm spying on something I shouldn't. He rubs her back and says things too quiet for me to hear. She clings to him, tears trickling to a stop.

  Zade moves closer, no longer ignoring me. “Are you all right? He hit you pretty hard.”

  My stomach's fine, but is the rest of me all right? No. Never will I be again. Especially if something happens to him. “Fine.”

  “No you're not.” His hands are fisted at his side, jaw clenched. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  Which part? I bring up the least bothersome of my problems, though it still seems like too much. “The new tarnished law, when will it start?”

  “I meant talk about the sacrifice, how you're feeling.” Not a word about the threat. Maybe he doesn't know I heard. “I didn't tell you because I wanted to see your genuine reaction. I'm sorry. It was wrong. I should've said something.”

  Would knowing about it beforehand change how hard it was to go through?

  He puts a hand on his hip. “The law will happen when the Grand Chancellor decides. No other really knows.”

  I stay silent, contemplating.

  “I didn't mean to stop your question, it just surprised me. Is there anything else you want to know?”

  Lots of things. Coming here raised more questions than expected. Mostly I want to know how serious Chancellor Ryan was, but I stick to the easier topic. “Are the tarnished who are causing the problems really going to participate?”

  “Many will have to participate because they have no way to earn money and pay taxes. But those causing the problems, it's doubtful they will.”

  “Then why bother with the compromise? It doesn't make sense.”

  “It's just a way to sneak the law in. They've been fighting the tougher law for so long, that the weaker law now looks good. The Grand Chancellor can act on it without anyone trying to usurp him.”

  “Is someone trying to take over?”

  “He's aware some are unhappy with the way things are,” he says. “And by doing it here, it makes Daniel appear in support of the law. The Grand Chancellor knows what he's doing with this law. It'll probably grow harsher after people get used to it.”

  “So, things will keep getting harder for the tarnished.”

  “Do you think that's a good thing or a bad?”

  Before my name was entered in the marriage pool, it would have meant nothing. Now I know how much it means. “Why didn't you vote against it?”

  Immediately his expression becomes guarded. “I couldn't.”

  “Did you want to?”

  After checking to see where the others are, he bends toward me. “Yes.”

  This makes sense with the way he's acted, but why wouldn't he say so in front of the council? Warlocks always say whatever they want, at least, I thought they did. Why is he different?

  “The green in your eyes. I've never seen anything quite like it.”

  It's suddenly hard to breathe. “My eyes are brown.”

  He leans down, closer. “Yes, but there's a ring of green in the middle of them.”

  I've never noticed. No one's ever noticed. At least not that they've told me.

  “Guess none of us are hungry,”
Daniel says.

  I jump away from Zade desperately trying to get some air.

  Zade is just like he always is, not affected by whatever it is that struck me. “No. We best be on our way. Thank you for taking care of Serena.”

  “It's not a problem. Thank you for bringing her,” Daniel says.

  “Yes, thank you.” Annabelle smiles. “I'll see you soon, Serena.”

  Though her eyes are still red, her cheerfulness is returning. Wish I hadn't broken it in the first place. “You're staying at our house for the ball?”

  “We are.”

  “We'll see you soon then.”

  On the ride home, I can't help but think of the tarnished woman, the glazed look in her eyes becoming lifeless. It's easier than thinking of Chancellor Ryan's threat, and what it could mean to Zade and me. I'm not ready to contemplate it, but the sacrifice...It could have been Katherine on that table. She has to know what they're doing.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Katherine sits across from me in my room, looking at me with her big, dark eyes. Suddenly, I don't want to tell her. I want her free from the burden life has forced on her. It's a false hope. I have to say something.

  “Two days ago I went to a council meeting.” And had four shooting lessons since that time. It's been a busy week. Not the type of business I prefer. The metal piece is strapped to my leg. But even with the lessons, I doubt it will help Zade, or Katherine.

  Her eyes widen. “How did you manage that?”

  “I asked Chancellor Zade to take me a while back and he finally consented.” I choke down the regret I feel for doing so.

  “He consented? I didn't think a woman would ever go to a meeting and live to tell about it.”

  I cock my head. “What do you mean?”

  “You were there, did you see what happened to the tarnished?”

  “I tried not to.” She already knows? “But how do you know it was a woman? How do you know about it at all?”

  “Tarnished get taken whenever it's time for a meeting. When that happens, you get good at knowing about it and making sure you're not around,” she says. “And it's always a woman. Always.”

  “Why a woman?”

  “I'm guessing it has to do with magic. Some tarnished women have magic in their blood, no tarnished men do.”

  Magic in our blood. We can't use it, but the warlocks can. I remember the strange glow to the Grand Chancellor's skin after the sacrifices and Zade taking my blood during the ceremony. Didn't he say something about being more powerful after that? No wonder they want wives with lots of magic flowing through their veins. Or tarnish them and later use them as a sacrifice. How much more powerful will they become after draining our full life's blood?

  Katherine says, “What was the rest of the meeting like?”

  It takes me a moment to think of anything other than women being used for a power they can't access. “Horrid. Rather like my engagement ceremony, but not centered on me. Annabelle joined the meeting a little way into it. It was good to have the support of someone else, though we weren't next to each other.”

  “Two of you were there? That changes things even more.”

  “Probably not. I don't think we'll go again.” How could I risk Zade's life more? And I don't want to keep being around sacrifices. But I do want to stop it. There's just no way that I can. “They did discuss something that will affect you and I wanted to make sure you knew.”

  Her face pales. “A law?”

  “Yes. Revised from what they originally wanted, but it's passed.”

  Her hands tighten around the arms of her chair. “How bad is it?”

  I explain the law as best I can. “It's not mandatory yet.”

  She puts the back of her hand to her mouth. “Might as well be.”

  “Chancellor Zade thinks it'll be the beginning of stricter laws. Are you—”

  Before I finish, Katherine rushes to the washing bowl and retches. For a moment, I'm stunned into immobilization. Once I'm over the shock, I pour a glass of water and take it to her.

  “I should have broken the news more gently. I'm sorry.”

  She takes a sip. “It's not the news. Perhaps in part, I've been expecting it. It's just—” she drops into the closest chair. “I'm not a tarnished.”

  I stare at her.

  She's not a tarnished?

  It can't be. Can it?

  “How's that even possible?”

  She gives a half-hearted smile. “You'd better sit, you look worse than I feel.”

  My legs carry me to a chair. “Your marks are fake?”

  “It hurt enough getting them to be real, but yes, by tarnished standards, they're fake.”

  “And your hair?”

  “Shaved clean every morning.”

  “How can you not be a tarnished? You look just like one. You work and live in their section of town. Why would you do that if you're not one of them?”

  “It's a long story.”

  “You can't tell me you're not tarnished without explaining. Please, tell me.”

  She sighs. “Father chose an old warlock to marry me. A really old warlock. Lots of money and power. He lived in another town. It was unlikely I'd see mother again. Plus, he smelled something fierce. Like rotting vegetables. So I ran away.”

  “You ran?” I slap my hand onto my chest. “Running never crossed my mind. How did you consider it an option?”

  “One of the servants ran off when I was a little girl. It never left my memory. They caught her and hung her, but I always wished she had gotten away. When the chance came, I took it. Had I known what waited on the streets, I would have married the smelly old man.” She shudders. “Now, I'm glad for the choice. Despite the hard work, I'm free as any woman can be in this country.” Her voice cracks. “And after everything, it's going to end.”

  I switch to the chair next to hers and squeeze her hand. “We'll figure something out. Is this why you were upset when we came to visit?”

  She nods.

  It must have been hard dealing with this and no one to talk to. “You spoke of helping me escape once, could we make that work for you?”

  “Perhaps. But it's not easy or likely with my inked face. Plus, I like my life and there are others I have to consider.”

  “What others?”

  She breaks eye contact. “Friends I've made.”

  Is she hiding more from me? If she is, I can't imagine what else it could be.

  Her gaze comes back to mine. “I like you. I'd hate not having you around anymore.”

  “But if they discover you, they won't tarnish you.” The truth hits me like a pack of daughters. “They'll kill you for it, wouldn't they?”

  Her lips form a thin line. She nods.

  I sag in my chair and think. Is there any way to help her? Anything we can do besides sending her away? I don't want to see her go away either, but if it means she'll be safe, it would be worth it. “I have one other idea, but it'll be risky.”

  “Riskier than what I've already been doing?”

  “Perhaps.” Would asking Zade to help work? Especially with the trouble I've already brought him. Is there a way to find out without endangering Katherine even more? However I word it, he knows Katherine is the tarnished I talk with most. “I could talk to Chancellor Zade. He's different than the others. It's possible he might be willing to help.”

  Her silence says a lot.

  “Forget I mentioned it.”

  “No, it's fine. You just surprised me.” She lowers her voice further. “Do you really think he would be willing to help, or would he turn me in?”

  It would be easier if I knew. “I can't say for sure.”

  She lifts her head. “When will it be implemented?”

  “I don't know. Soon.”

  After a minute of silence she says, “He sought me out to pay me more than he should have for the dresses. I've seen how he treats you and your sisters. And Waverly. I think it may be worth it.” A look of determination fills her. “Let's
try. There are others who will need help too if it works and I want to know he's trustworthy before putting them in danger.”

  “Others pretending to be tarnished like you?”

  “I'm the only one pretending. That I know of, anyway. I probably shouldn't have said anything, but if you're willing to help—” She shakes her head. “I know tarnished who would like to avoid the law.”

  I nod, curious, but not wanting to push her. “Let's see if we can find him.”

  Her face loses some of its color, but she stands and follows me out. It doesn't take long to find him. A servant directs us to his study. Why is it always the study?

  My hands shake, but I don't hesitate to knock. I've already asked much of him. But this is the only way I can think of to help. I hope my instinct is right and he doesn't turn Katherine in and punish me. The thought makes my stomach churn. I want to take back my offer, but the door opens before I can do anything.

  Zade looks us over, then opens the door wider. “Please come in.”

  Once we're seated, Zade at his desk shuffling through papers, he asks, “What can I do for you? Do you need more money for the dresses?”

  “No, you've already given too much,” Katherine says.

  “It's something else entirely.” I swallow, build my courage, and say, “Remember the new rules on the tarnished?”

  He puts down the papers and stares at me. “Of course.”

  His gaze almost makes me lose the last bit of courage I have, but I push on. “Katherine was wondering— Or rather, I was wondering and Katherine agreed that we should ask if you could help. With the law.”

  “You want me to explain it?”

  “I've done that.” I tug at my gloves. How much do I give away? “We were wondering if you'd help her circumvent the law.”

  He pushes to his feet and paces to the window. “You know I'm already being threatened. If anyone knew of this, there would be nothing to stop them.”

  Which is exactly what I don't want, but I can't leave Katherine to be killed by them either. “I know.”