Teach Me

by Amy Steele

  I smiled, embarrassed. “Your aunt wanted to know if we were planning on, you know—how did she say it?—‘seal the deal’ tonight.” Ali put her head in her hands and groaned.

  “I am so embarrassed and so sorry,” she said through her fingers. I pulled the truck to the curb once we were around the corner. She didn’t look up, and I could see the red in her face. I touched her hand, and she flinched away. That was a first.

  “Look at me please,” I pleaded.

  “I can’t.” Her voice is shaking. I pull her hands away from her face, and her eyes are tightly closed. I pull her across the seat and hold her close. I could smell the coconut scent that just seemed to be part of her. I kiss her neck and rub small circles on her back, trying to coax her into relaxing.

  “You can talk to me,” I encourage. Ali sits up and gains composure.

  “Later,” she said quickly. I watch her and decide she wasn’t ready to talk now, but I would make her open up to me later. We drove in silence toward the beach and the surprise I’ve planned for tonight. I keep glancing at Ali from the corner of my eye. She keeps biting her finger and looking out the window; she looks upset. I want to know what is going on in that big brain of hers, but she closed up like a clam. I want her to be able to talk to me, to trust me with her feelings.

  Tonight I am taking Allison to the place where this all began for me. She may not realize that day we first saw each other, but I saw her before she noticed me.

  This small part of the beach changed my life, and the girl holding my hand changed my heart. My heart that completely belongs to her. Where my emotions turned from amazement to love. I need Ali to know what she means to me, what impact she has had on my life. To have her know that I’m never going to stop loving her no matter how much distance it put between us.

  The sun was just starting its nightly descent into darkness. Her hand is in mine, and I can’t help but notice how it just fits there. Ali keeps looking at the big orange sun, and I can tell she is deep in thought. Maybe now I can get her to open up to me.

  “Hey,” I finally say as I bump my shoulder into hers, breaking her silence. Not brilliant, but it was the first thing that popped into my head and made it out of my mouth.

  “Hmm,” was her response, which made me laugh. It was like she had forgotten I was there.

  “Where did I lose you?” I stopped walking and turned her toward me, holding her shoulders in my hands.

  “We are racing the sun,” she mused. I arched an eyebrow, trying to follow her train of thought. “Like in the end of Dracula. They raced the sun too, but it was so they could kill the count.”

  “Okay,” I said slowly. Ali blushed and looked down.

  “One romantic walk on the beach—check. One incredibly perfect guy—double check. One moronic girl who doesn’t know when to keep her mouth shut—overabundant amount of checks.” I shook my head and kissed her nose.

  “And that part of the book reminds you of us now?” I forced a smile, still trying to understand where she was coming from.

  “No.” She shook her head. “I feel silly for saying that—all of that. No, just how that was the only book I finished while I was here, and at the end, the sun closed that story . . .” Her voice trailed, and her gaze averted back to the sun.

  “Hey, Ali,” I say, shaking her slender shoulders in my hands. “When this sun sets, it’s not our end. Okay?” I nodded, hoping she understood. “Dracula is fictional, and we are real people.” I kiss her quickly.

  “Part of me feels like this isn’t real,” she says sheepishly. “That tomorrow I will wake up and all of this would have been a dream.”

  “It would’ve been a good dream then.” I pull her to my chest and hold her there, wanting this moment to never end.

  She sighs and kisses my shoulder. “The best dream I’ve ever had,” Ali says into my shirt. We just stand there, holding each other as we watch the sun simmer as it dipped into the Pacific Ocean. I want to tell her how much she means to me. How I never thought I could meet someone like her. Someone who can make me a better person and see the world in a whole new way.

  “I have a surprise for you,” I whisper into her ear. I take her hand and start to lead her to the tree line.

  “What is it?” Curiosity and excitement are leaking in her question.

  I keep leading her forward. “A surprise,” I answer, stopping and turning her so she can’t see what is set up. “This is where I first saw you,” I tell her, “where it all changed for me.” She nods, looking around, and I can see that she is holding on to her emotions as best she can. I can see Sean; he has pulled through for me, and he gives me a thumbs-up. “Close your eyes.” Ali tilts her head to look at me suspiciously but does what I have asked of her. I wrap an arm around her slim waist and put my hand over her eyes.

  “What is going on here?” She grabs my arm at her midsection and pulls me closer. It is almost dark now, and I can see the hard work Sean did pulling this off for me. I put my lips on Ali’s neck.

  “A surprise,” I answer with a kiss. She turns her face, and I kiss her perfect lips. I can get lost in these kisses, and I almost do. I open my eyes and find that my stage is set. Sean is just waiting, and I motion him with my eyes to leave. After a minute of silent battle, he gets the hint. I wait until I know he is out of sight. I even watch as he gets in his car and pulls out of the dark parking area. We are now totally alone. I lead Ali to a blanket that has been set up.

  “Ready?” I ask. She nods, placing her hands, which is still covering her eyes, on mine. I uncover her eyes and take a small step back. “Open them.”

  I am standing behind Ali, so I don’t know what she is thinking. Spread out in front of us is a candlelit picnic. I’m not just talking about little tea light candles in those silver tins. I had Sean set up and light about fifty white pillar candles in the sand. In the center of it is a dark blanket with a picnic basket toward the edge. I want Ali to say something—anything. The silence is killing me. I reach out to touch her shoulder as she turns around.

  “Cooper,” she whispers, tears brimming at her dark lashes, “how did you do all of this?” Her voice is filled with wonder.

  I moved closer and bent to whisper into her ear. “Magic.” Ali giggles, and a tear slides down her cheek. I pull her into me, kissing her with all my emotion. I can feel her damp cheeks as the tears keep coming. I pull back to look into her eyes, finding them filled with tears, but I don’t know if they’re happy or sad.

  “What is it?” I cup her face in my hands, and she closes her eyes. “Allison, please,” I plead. Finally, she locks her gaze with mine.

  “I love you,” she says slowly. I nod and keep quiet, hoping she’ll say more. “I don’t want to be away from you, and tomorrow I will be.” I know exactly how she is feeling, but I feel like I should be the strong and optimistic one for her.

  “We still have tonight,” I answer, quietly wishing that tonight would freeze us here. For a while, neither one of us speaks; no words can make this any easier. I watch the candles twinkle around us, like stars in the sky, and I am lucky enough to hold an angel in my arms. Ali mumbles something about being cold, so we sit on the blanket, and I cover her with the extra one I packed and pull her close.

  “This is so beautiful,” Ali says dreamily.

  “I packed some food, if you’re hungry,” I mention. Ali leans back to look at me.

  “You know me, always ready to eat.” She smiles.

  This girl rocks my world. I love that she isn’t afraid of eating or speaking her mind. Most girls are so illusive that you never know exactly where they stand. Ali has always been straightforward and herself. Maybe I should tell her about my family. The money and trust funds waiting for me. Maybe that is why it is so easy to be with her—she doesn’t know that side of me. I am almost certain she wouldn’t care.

  We pick at the food I had Sean set up for us tonight—cheese and crackers, fruits and a few vegetables, and chocolate-covered strawberries. I was thinking abou
t a bottle of champagne but decided on good ol’ apple cider since we both don’t like drinking. They weren’t large portions of food, but man, it filled me up. Or it could have been my nerves filling up my stomach. I lay back on the blanket and watched Ali sip the cider from her red plastic cup. I touched the small of her back, feeling the heat from her skin, and let my fingers explore the skin under the edge of her shirt. It is so soft and warm as my fingers traced her spine.

  Ali turned to look at me, her eyes liquid. “That feels so good.” Her eyes are closed, and she is almost purring at my touch.

  “Do you want to talk to me about earlier?” I probe. I felt Ali’s muscles tense under my hand.

  “Nope,” she answers quickly. I sat up and pulled her close. Leave it to Trudy to put doubts in our heads. I hadn’t planned on taking it to that level with Ali—yet. I mean, yeah, I’ve thought about it—I am just a man.

  “Were you thinking that maybe . . . maybe tonight . . . we’d . . . ?” My hands start to sweat, and I become riddled with nerves. Ali groans with embarrassment and falls backward onto the blanket, covering her face. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. It stuns me that she thought about being intimate with me and boosts my ego a little too.

  “Yes,” she finally said, though it was muffled under her hands. “I was hoping.” I would be lying if I didn’t admit my anticipation level vamped up a few notches. I leaned on my elbow next to her. With my free hand, I lifted hers from her face, but Ali kept her eyes closed. So I kissed her lids.

  “I thought about it too,” I admitted in hushed tones. Ali slowly opened her eyes. Neither of us moved. My face hovered above hers, locked in her gaze. Ali’s hand touched my face lightly.

  “I’m in love with you,” she whispered. We lay there, side by side, bathed in moonlight, surrounded by candlelight. Ali moved slowly, pulling my face to hers. I let her kiss me, and it was the most sensual thing I have ever experienced. Her leg came over my body, placing her on top of me, and her hands were under my shirt.

  I am only human.

  I pull her flat to my chest and rolled, so we changed positions. Ali’s arms tangled around my neck, and her mouth became almost desperate against mine. I kissed my way from her mouth to her collarbone, Ali’s hands roaming all over my chest. She started tugging at the fabric and lifted my shirt off over my head. I looked down into her big brown eyes, and they were hungry.

  Before I knew exactly what I was doing, I had my hands on Ali’s stomach and was slowly taking her top off. She shifted, and her top was in my hand. Ali pulled my mouth back to hers, and we rolled once more, and her delicate body pressed into mine. One of her hands left my arm and moved to the fly of my pants; she was fumbling to unbutton them. I had to react while I was still able think.

  “Ali.” I wrapped my fingers around her wrist, stopping her.

  “Cooper,” she whispered, kissing my neck. Oh. My. God. Every hormone in my body went into overdrive. Focus. I took in a deep breath and rolled her over so we lay side by side again. We both lay, panting for air. After a minute, which I could have used a very cold shower, I sat up to look at her. Taking her hand in mine, I kissed it softly.

  “You know that I want to do this, very much, but not tonight,” I tell her.

  Ali nodded, closing her eyes, which shut me out to her emotions. We both put out shirts back on and try to regulate my breathing and remind myself why I felt the need to stop this hot girl from taking advantage of me. Allison has the most perfect body, and I guarantee this will haunt my dreams for weeks.

  “I just thought, with all the candles and it being our last night that you wanted me.”

  “Oh, I do, Ali, just not tonight.” Oh man, I do, but I respect her too much and want to be able to wake up next to her and not have to say good night. Ali sits up and nuzzles into my side. I never want to let her go. I kiss the top of her head and keep her in my arms.

  “Coop,” Allison mummers, and I lean back and find her eyes serious. I touch her creamy, soft cheek, wondering what has caused so much concern.

  “What is it?” I hope I don’t sound too alarmed. I’m just so nervous that I’ve upset her.

  “I’m just . . . worried . . . that maybe you should know.” She fumbles with her words and turns away from me. Fear clenches at my chest.

  “Ali”—I touch her back—“talk to me.” She doesn’t turn around, but I can hear her whisper something. I try to turn her toward me. “I can’t hear you, sweetheart.” Suddenly, she stands up, her fists in balls at her sides. She looks upset—not so much angry, just distressed.

  “I’m a virgin,” she reveals, her voice carrying in the dark. Before I can respond, she turns and runs, disappearing in the darkness.

  “Ali.” My voice is shaking. So this is what has been on her mind all night. With me saying no, she is probably feeling unwanted or that she did something wrong. I jump to my feet and take off in the direction she ran.

  I can see her not far ahead; the moon is so bright tonight it almost seems like a spotlight. I call her name again, but she doesn’t stop. I pick up my speed and am suddenly thankful for all the times Sean drags me to the gym with him. She knows I am close and that I can outrun her. Her run turns into a walk as she places her hands on her hips.

  “I don’t want to talk about it,” she huffs out. I reach and take hold of her shoulder, spinning her around.

  “Too bad, because I do.” My voice is pleading, which shocks her. “You should know”—I close my eyes and know I need to be honest with her—“that I am too.” Ali’s eyes betray her thoughts, and I can see she doesn’t believe me. Heck, Sean doesn’t believe me either, but it is the truth.

  “I hadn’t found the right person yet.” I move closer pushing some loose strands of hair off her face. I can see that Ali had been crying, and I move a step closer, putting my hands on her hips.

  She looks confused as she looks into my eyes. “Then why did you stop?” I sigh, trying to figure out the best way to say this. I am guy raised with old world morals that some people just don’t understand anymore.

  “Because I think the first time should be special,” I whisper, not trusting my voice at a normal range. “I don’t think I could bear to be so close to you tonight and know I couldn’t wake up next to you tomorrow morning.” Even in the moonlight, I can see her cheeks blush. “When it is the right time, Ali, I don’t want to have to say goodbye. I want to hold you until you fall asleep and see how your hair slips across your pillow.” I lift my hand and touch her hair, letting it spill though my fingers. “I want to be there to see the sun light the bedroom and kiss you until you wake up.” I bring Ali’s hand to my lips and kiss it. “When the time is right”—I move so my lips are inches from hers—“it will be forever.”

  I lean in and kiss Ali as gently as I could manage, thinking of her as a fragile porcelain doll. At first she is hesitant but then melts into me, letting me wrap my arms around her. I fell more in love right then under that huge white moon. Ali’s hands slid up my back and into my hair, holding my mouth to hers. She shivered, but I didn’t know if she was cold or if the blood was pumping though her like it was with me. Without words, we walked back to our candlelit hideout.

  When Ali sat back on the blanket, I wrapped the extra one around her shoulders. I couldn’t take my eyes off her, and I found her looking at me the same way. She opened the blanket, and I opened it so we could both cuddle under it. Our bodies were so close it was hard to remember that we admitted our innocence to each other. Nothing I am thinking is innocent right now. I look into Ali’s eyes, hoping she can’t read my mind, but I can see it in her eyes.

  “I love you so much,” she whispers. What I hear is “I want you so bad.” The endless difference between guys and girls. I kiss her forehead and hold her against me.

  “I love you,” I say into her hair. Ali sighs and presses her face into my neck.

  “I really want to do it still.” She tilts her head to look at me. I don’t know what to say. I look
into her eyes, and they say it all—they are smoldering hot and filled with desire.

  “You don’t have anything to prove to me,” I assure her.

  Ali searches my honest face like she is a human polygraph checking to see if I’m telling her the truth. She bites her lips, then slightly nods her head. “I think I need to leave you with part of me so we can’t forget our summer.”

  My brain decides it needs a vacation, and my body takes over. Ali lurches and is on top of me like a cheetah attacking its prey—she is hungry. She kisses me like it is our last day on Earth, her hands exploring under my shirt, which she all but rips off. Ali kisses her way down and across my chest, her fingers tracing where her lips have been, and it is like fire burning me—a fire I don’t want to put out.

  My brain tries to come back from its break, but my body tells it to get out of town. Brain insists that I need to stick to my morals, but body reminds me that I won’t see Ali for a long time. Brain says something stupid about absence making the heart grow fonder, but body has a comeback like “Shut up.” All the while that this silent debate is going on, Ali hasn’t stopped kissing my exposed chest. Then she says something that shocks me. First she sits up and, without warning, takes her tank top back off.

  “Do you want to return the favor?” I felt like a cartoon character. I’m sure my eyes were bugging out of my head and puffs of smoke were shooting from my ears as body wins this round. I pushed Ali on her back on the blanket and immediately started to kiss her flat stomach. I braced myself by having a hand on either side of her as I kissed my way across her abdomen. The best part was the little sounds Allison was making, small moans and sighs. I started to kiss my way up so that eventually I would make contact with her mouth and instantly realized as I reached her breasts that Ali’s body had gone rigid.

  “Cooper . . . wait.” Her words came out strained. I sat up to look at her. In her internal debate of brain versus body, brain won. “You were right,” she says and sits up, pushing me back. “Tonight isn’t the night.”

  Did you hear that, body? Time to cool down fast—like it or not. “I’m sorry,” she adds, and you can hear the guilt her apology is coated in.