The Wanton Widow - A Regency Novella

by Caylen McQueen

  “Ah!” Edward scooted a few inches away from her. “You're t-terrible!”

  She leaned toward him and pinched him again.

  “Don't complain, Edward! It might work!” Willow exclaimed.

  Edward rubbed his arm and pouted. It wasn't as if she really hurt him, and he knew he was being a baby, but he had to protest somehow. “I don't know if I like this.”

  “If, after a few weeks, I deem you completely hopeless... then I'll stop. But for now, I would say it's something worth trying.” Willow reached toward him again, which made him flinch, but all she did was tousle his hair. With his hair in disarray, she thought he looked adorable. He was actually quite cute, in an unconventional way, not unlike the puppy that was snoring in her lap.

  Snoring?! The mutt had endured more excitement than it could handle, because it had fallen asleep.

  “And...” Willow went on, “I'll teach you how to flirt.”

  “Oh?”

  “Yes. Here's what I suggest...” Willow leaned closer and started whispering, as if she feared they would be overheard. “The next time you see me, I want you to flirt with me. Pretend I am Miss Abrahms and say all sorts of sweet things to me. I'll tell you what works, and I'll tell you what doesn't work.”

  “You think that would help?”

  “I do!” Willow said. “It will help you gain confidence. I truly believe you could benefit from the Wilomena Worthington School of Wooing.”

  “V-very well,” he agreed. “I suppose I am willing to t-try anything.”

  Edward knew what was coming next.

  She pinched him again.

  Chapter Six

  “Mr. Harcourt is here to see you, madam.”

  When she heard the butler's announcement, Willow had a surprising reaction. Not only did her heart start beating faster, she had butterflies in her stomach. She couldn't control her smile as it stretched across the entire length of her face.

  “You look happy,” said Lord Mowbray, who was sitting across from her in the sitting room.

  “I am.”

  “I wouldn't have thought that stuttering simpleton would have such an effect on you,” Philip said with a snort. “And why is he here to see you and not me? Is this something that should fill me with concern?”

  “Not at all! I am... helping him with something.” Willow rose from the settee and checked herself in the looking glass, making sure every hair was in its rightful place. She had pinned her hair and worn a simple white frock—it was her best attempt at looking like a proper lady. She was, after all, supposed to be playing the role of Miss Abrahms.

  “And what are you helping him with, my dear?”

  As Willow rolled her eyes, she watched her reflection make the same gesture. There was something about the way he said my dear that sounded so... empty.

  “I am helping him overcome his stutter,” she said. “And I am going to help him woo Miss Abrahms.”

  “Well, don't be gone too long.” Philip, who currently had his face lodged in the London Post, turned his newspaper's page. “You know I miss you so.”

  Without another word, Willow rushed out of the sitting room. She bounded down the stairs and into the foyer, where Edward Harcourt was waiting for her. When he pulled a flower from behind his back, a single tulip, it was all she could do to keep her stomach from coiling in knots.

  “A flower for you, Willow,” he said, careful not to stutter. After yesterday's pinching session, he was focusing all his energy on controlling his tongue.

  “Thank you, Mr. Harcourt,” Willow answered, with added emphasis on the formality. Today, after all, she was playing the part of the consummate lady. She took the flower and spun the stem between her fingers. “It is a pleasure to see you again.”

  “The pleasure is all m-m...” Edward winced, because he knew he had failed. Sighing, he completed his sentence. “Mine.”

  Willow pinched his elbow, then she grabbed his arm and took him down the hallway, around a corner, and into the sitting room where they had convened the previous day. Edward took a seat in one of the chairs, so Willow sat across from him on the settee. They were silent for several seconds, so she leaned forward, expectantly.

  When he didn't say anything for at least a minute, Willow said, “The flower was a nice surprise.”

  “Was it?” Edward asked with a shrug. “I was worried the lone flower wouldn't be impressive on its own. The next time I encounter Miss Abrahms, should I go with a single flower, or should I present her with a full b-bouquet?”

  Willow caught his stutter, so she pinched his knee. “I think it would depend on the lady. If she has a penchant for extravagant things, a bouquet might be more appropriate. Myself, however... I am more touched by the single flower, for it seems more like a spontaneous gesture of romance.” Willow slipped the flower behind her ear and smiled.

  “Wh-where is Eddie?”

  Of course, she pinched him again. “My canine companion is currently pestering the cooks in the kitchen.”

  “Does Philip want to wring my neck? For bringing the puppy?”

  “Possibly,” Willow admitted with a grin. “I did not realize he wasn't a fan of animals. It is a good thing we will never be married, for I could never spend my life with a man who did not appreciate the company of dogs.”

  “Would you marry him? If he were to propose?”

  Willow shook her head so fast, she accidentally dislodged the tulip. As she retrieved the flower from the floor, she said, “Never. No. I could not imagine him as my husband. Fortunately, it will never come to that, for I'm quite certain he wouldn't want me for a wife.” Before he could say anything else on the matter, Willow straightened her back and promptly changed the subject. “So, Edward, pay me a compliment, and I will tell you if it is appropriate. Say something to me that you might say to Miss Abrahms.”

  “You...” Edward took a moment to scratch his head. He hoped she would not mistake his hesitation for a stutter, for he wasn't too keen on the idea of getting pinched again. “You have lovely hair?”

  “That sounded like a question!” Willow exclaimed. “You'll have to do better than that, I'm afraid. Say it like you mean it.”

  “I do mean what I say,” Edward insisted. “Your hair looks lovely today, Willow.”

  “Thank you, Mr. Harcourt.”

  “And... your eyes,” he went on. “You have very beautiful eyes.”

  “Oh, please!” She shook her head with disbelief. “I know that is a lie! My eyes are plain and brown and boring!”

  “They are not!” Edward rose from his chair and sat beside her on the settee. He placed his thumb under her chin and coaxed her to look in his direction, so he could see her eyes in the light. “You have beautiful eyes. They're brown... but they also have a bit of green in them. And tiny flecks of gold.”

  Willow tilted her head in the direction of his hand, wishing he would cup her cheek. “You make them sound prettier than they are.”

  “No,” he protested again. “I couldn't possibly, for no words could do them justice.”

  She could feel her lips quivering a bit as she smiled. His compliments sounded nice, but she wondered if they were genuine. He was, after all, supposed to be practicing. “Your Miss Abrahms... what color are her eyes?”

  “Blue,” he said. “Like a pleasant summer sky.”

  “And her hair?”

  “Flaxen. Like--”

  Willow interrupted before he could say anything more. “Oh, yes. That's right. I remember you said her hair was like... spun gold. Nevertheless, it seems you are quite adept at paying compliments, Mr. Harcourt. Even though your compliments were feigned, they made my heart race.”

  “F-feigned?!” Edward repeated with a stutter, which earned him another pinch. “I was not feigning anything, Willow. You have beautiful hair and enchanting eyes.”

  “That is... I mean to say, I...” His compliments were dangerously close to making her stutter. “That is very kind of you, Edward. As you know, I think your green eyes
are very fine indeed.”

  “My eyes... and nothing else,” Edward said with a sigh. “Even if I stop stuttering, even if I can pay a compliment, it won't matter if I'm not the least bit attractive.”

  “Nonsense! You're very handsome!” Willow gave his hair a few strokes. His combed style was usually so severe; she preferred it a bit messier. “All you need is a tousled fringe and a bit of confidence, and you'll have her mooning over you. You know what else might help?”

  “I am afraid to ask.”

  “Miss Abrahms needs to see you as a prime catch... she needs to think you are desirable. Women want what they can't have, and they want what other women want.”

  Edward scratched his head. “I think I might be lost.”

  “What I'm saying, is...” Willow took a deep breath before continuing, “if she happened to see you out with me, it might work to your advantage. If she thinks I want you, she might want you for herself!”

  “So your plan is to make me unattainable?”

  “No, not quite. My plan is to make you more desirable.”

  All of a sudden, the door to the sitting room popped open. Eddie the puppy had nudged his way in. He sprinted into the room and flew onto Willow's lap, which made her erupt with a giggle.

  “I c-can see that someone was eager to see you again,” Edward said.

  Willow was so surprised by the mutt's arrival, she missed Edward's stutter. “Indeed! If only Philip was half as happy to see me!”

  “Eddie gets to nestle himself in your lap! Of course he's happy!”

  “Aw. Are you jealous, Mr. Harcourt?” Willow nudged her shoulder against his. “If you'd like, you're welcome to rest your head in my lap. I think I would rather enjoy being cuddled by Edward and Eddie at the same time.”

  As she spoke, she kept staring into Edward's eyes. He wondered if she would notice he was blushing. “I-I-I... I don't... y-your offer is very kind, but--”

  For variation, Willow pinched his cheek. “No more stuttering, Edward!” she chided him.

  “My apologies. It's j-just that... I believe the t-topic of con-conversation had me tongue-tied.”

  Willow pinched him three times, once for every word he minced. “Would you mind if I sat in your lap, Mr. Harcourt?”

  “I--” Edward closed his eyes and concentrated on his words. “I don't think Philip would be too pleased with that.”

  “Well, I was only teasing. Your timidity is so adorable, I simply must exploit it!” Willow looked down at the puppy, hiding her face from Edward's view. She was blushing too. The fact of the matter was, she actually wanted to sit in his lap, and the fact that he declined was somewhat disappointing. “So it is true, by the way? What Philip said about you?”

  “What did Philip say about me?”

  “You know...” As she hesitated, she let Eddie nibble on her index finger. “Is it true that you've never been with a woman?”

  “That is the complete and utter truth,” Edward confessed. “I am sure my unusual chastity might look pathetic to some, but... I am actually quite proud of it. If I am to expect a chaste wife, why should she not expect a chaste husband?”

  “A chaste wife...” Willow repeated with a pout. For some reason, she was strangely disheartened by his words. “So, you have no desire to lay with a woman? To see her naked? To hold her in your arms?”

  Edward nervously nibbled on his lip. It seemed like an awkward conversation to be having with a lady, but Willow was hardly a typical lady. “Of course I have the desire, I simply suppress it. I have every intention of waiting until I am married... to share that moment with someone special.”

  “What if... the woman you fell in love with was unchaste? Could you overlook it?”

  “If I was truly in love with her, of course,” Edward said. “It is my deepest belief that love will blind you to a person's shortcomings.”

  “So if the woman was not a virgin... it would be a shortcoming?”

  And then it dawned on him. They weren't just talking about any woman, they were talking about her.

  But why?

  Before he could reply, Willow said, “Well, no matter. I am certain your Miss Abrahms is the pinnacle of virtue. Having said that, what did you think about my idea? Do you think it might be beneficial if she saw us together?”

  “P-perhaps.”

  He waited for his pinch, which was a bit delayed. Willow's distraction was written all over her face.

  “When can we meet her?” she asked.

  “Saturday. She goes to Hyde Park on Saturdays,” Edward said. “She and her grandmother go for a stroll every Saturday afternoon.”

  “Every Saturday?”

  He nodded. “Yes. Every Saturday.”

  “And how, might I ask, are you aware of this?!”

  When he didn't answer, Willow simultaneously shook her head and rolled her eyes.

  He was more smitten with Jane Abrahms than she realized.

  Chapter Seven

  When he found her in Hyde Park, Edward thought she looked more beautiful than ever. Her dark tresses were hidden beneath a straw bonnet; apart from the few curled tendrils that framed her face. Her cheeks were tinted rouge, likely from the heat. In the light of the sun, her tawny eyes looked more warm and vibrant than ever.

  “G-good day, Willow. It's l-lovely to see you again.” Every time he stuttered, Edward could feel himself wince. It had been two days since he had received any pinches from the beautiful widow, and he was out of practice.

  But not anymore. She pinched his arm two times. “And you are looking handsome, Edward Harcourt.”

  “And you're as beautiful as ever, Wilomena Worthington,” he fired back at her. “I l-like your bonnet.”

  Another pinch.

  “Thank you for the compliment, but I hardly think it's anything special,” Willow said. “I keep asking Philip to take me to a milliner. Unfortunately, I don't think having a fashionable mistress is very high on his list of priorities.”

  “If you were with me, you would be my only priority.”

  Willow could feel her cheeks getting warmer. His words were innocent enough, but did he have any idea what sort of effect they had on her? Ignoring the pangs of her heart, Willow took him by the arm and proceeded to guide him in the direction of the greenery. “Well... if I'm a bit drab, perhaps it is for the best. I would not want to outshine your Miss Abrahms.”

  “You could never be drab, Willow.”

  “Nor could she be outshone, I am sure.” When he didn't respond, Willow assumed it was true. “So, where might we find your Miss Abrahms?”

  “She is hardly my Miss Abrahms,” Edward said with a chuckle.

  “Oh, but you wish she was... do you not? And I am sure she will be, if you play your cards carefully.”

  “I am not so certain of that. I have a lot of competition.”

  Willow tried to ignore the voice in the back of her head, the voice that was hoping he would fail. Did she really want him to sweep Jane Abrahms off of her feet? Hardly! Though she said she wanted to help him, Willow secretly wanted him to fail. Her contradictory thoughts had her feeling incredibly wicked. Nevertheless, she could only imagine how jealous she would be to see another woman in his arms.

  Jealous? At what point had she allowed jealousy into her heart? It was ludicrous. It wasn't as if she wanted Edward Harcourt for herself.

  Did she?!

  Edward spoke again, simultaneously breaking the silence and interrupting her unwelcome thoughts. “As for where me might find Miss Abrahms... I have no clue. I was hoping we might wander around and happen upon her.”

  “And the likelihood of that is very slight,” Willow said. “Hyde Park is enormous!”

  “True. But I feel as if fate is on my side today. In the meantime, I have your company to enjoy.”

  “Do you enjoy my company, Edward?”

  “Most definitely. I always enjoy your company, Willow,” Edward insisted. “I trust Lord Mowbray did not protest when you said you would be spending time
with me?”

  “He did not protest in the least. Poor Philip... I believe he thinks his claim on my heart is much larger than it is.”

  “Are you in love with him?” Edward knew it was an inappropriate question, but it was out of his mouth before he had a chance to mull it over.

  “No.”

  “Have you ever been in love, Willow?”

  “I--” Willow took a moment to ponder his question, for it was a question she had never considered. She certainly did not love her husband, who was much older and quite cold. Not long after her husband's death, she had enjoyed a two-month-long relationship with a viscount, but she never loved him. Before Philip entered her life, she had enjoyed a brief tryst with a man named Brittley Christian, but brief it most certainly was. “No, I have never been in love. Sad as it is.”

  “Do you think you could love Philip?”

  Willow had to wonder why he was asking so many intrusive questions. Was he curious for his own sake, or did he simply have his friend's best interests at heart? “Alas, I am starting to believe I am incapable of love,” she confessed.

  “Nonsense! No one is incapable of love!” Edward disagreed. “You are a good woman, and you have a warm heart. If you keep your heart open to the possibility of love, I am sure love will find its way in.”

  “How very romantic of you.”

  “It is what I truly believe.”

  “And...” Willow went on, “you have not been stammering at all! I am really quite impressed!”

  A self-satisfied smirk twitched the corner of his mouth. Maybe Willow's pinches were having an effect on him after all? He hoped her praise would not jinx him.

  “Now that we are on the subject of love, how do you feel about Miss Abrahms?” Willow asked. “Are you in love with her?”

  “I suppose... sometimes I believe I am in love with her,” he confessed. “However, if I am being completely honest with myself, it couldn't possibly be more than a simple infatuation. She is beautiful and kind and accomplished... she is everything I could want in a woman. But true love, real love, would have to be something deeper... a respect for the woman she is, and a deeper admiration of her character.”