by Linda Conrad
Young May grinned over at her. “Mom says you’ve worked at the library for a number of years. What are you going to do now?”
“May,” Lily scolded. “That’s rude. We don’t know…”
“No, it’s okay.” Mary’s smile was completely genuine this time. “I’m not sure what I want to do. I have a lot of plans whirling in my head, but first I need to find a new place to live.”
“Mom and I are living with my grandfather. He’s getting older and doesn’t feel well.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. But it’s nice that you can all be together.”
May looked at her through thoughtful eyes that seemed older than her years. “Don’t you have family here you can live with?”
“May…” Lily’s face flushed as she glared at her daughter.
But Mary only chuckled and said, “I’ve been living with my mother, but I think it’s time I found my own place. I’m all grown up now.”
“Well, if I was old enough to go out on my own I would find me a big old house either in the woods or in the mountains. Anyplace outside of this town would be awesome. The town itself isn’t much.”
An idea sneaked up on Mary, jolting her in the head without warning. She loved the countryside and woods around Honey Creek, too. And as it happened, she knew of a house, only slightly damaged, that was probably available to buy.
“You’ve given me a thought, May. Thanks.”
“Very nice meeting you,” Lily said after she threw her daughter a quick look. “But we’d better go inside now.” Then she stopped for one more thought. “When you get settled, can I twist your arm into considering volunteer work with the library? I’m trying to talk May into helping out with the children’s section after school and we could use all the volunteer help we can find.”
“That’s a terrific idea. I would love to volunteer. Especially with the children. I’ll stop in the first chance I get.”
May gave Mary a quick hug before they split up. Then Mary headed down the stairs toward her car alone. What a darling girl May Masterson was, so warm and full of smiles.
The girl seemed to be aged about fourteen. The same age Mary had been when her father had supposedly died. The stark differences between May and the child Mary had been at that age were stunning.
But when Mary thought it over, the contrast between who she was now and who she had been not too long ago was every bit as amazing. Walking toward her car, Mary considered how her life could have come so far so fast.
Yes, she alone had first decided to make changes in her life. No one had talked her into it. She remembered feeling as if the years were passing her by and that she was sick of feeling depressed all the time.
She’d found the therapist, who’d definitely helped her. And she’d lost over a hundred pounds by sheer willpower—and lots of exercise. But those didn’t seem like such huge accomplishments anymore.
As she reached her car and grabbed for the door handle, Mary experienced a sudden gut feeling that someone was watching. The sun was hot this afternoon, but shivers ran down her arms.
Was this Wes’s doing again? She looked around, but saw no one. Wes’s office would have to be her next stop. Being followed was too creepy. She had enough problems without worrying for her safety in her own hometown. Wes needed to know that he’d gone too far.
The same way Jake had taken his act too far. Jake.
Yes, it was true. The biggest changes in her had come from falling in love. Jake had made her face her old fears in a way that no one else had. Too bad their relationship had been doomed from the start. It had all been a fraud. The same as most of her life had been up to now.
Were the newest changes she’d decided to make to her life also likely to be false? She didn’t think so. She felt stronger than she ever had, except for all these tears. And there hadn’t been any flashbacks or dreams of her childhood terrors in weeks.
As Mary sank down in the driver’s seat, she tried to shake off her current depression, wishing for the pain in her heart to stop. This heavy aching in her chest was plain crazy. Even though she’d changed for the better because of loving Jake, a lasting love was not meant for someone like her. Her childhood had left her far too damaged to be loved and wanted for herself. Not for real.
In the end, she was still who she had always been. The little girl who wasn’t good enough banished to the closet.
Mary found Wes in the sheriff’s front office, talking to a dispatcher and a deputy. She waited for him to break free.
“Do you still have men following me around?” she demanded when the others went back to their desks.
Wes studied her carefully. “Someone has been keeping an eye on you off and on. Why do you ask?”
“I don’t need protection anymore. It’s feels creepy, Wes. Cut it out.”
“As a matter of fact, I tend to agree with you. I don’t think you need anyone following you around, either.”
“Then you’ll stop?”
Wes set aside the clipboard he’d been holding. “Tell me what’s going on in your life. Are you back at home for good? Going back to work? I heard a rumor that you were quitting.”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but…”
He put his big hand on her shoulder. “I care about you, Mary. I’m asking because we’re old friends and I want what’s best for you.”
Mary heaved a heavy sigh. She wasn’t mad at Wes for wanting to protect her. He was a good man. A man of honor—not unlike Jake—except when Jake was lying. Shaking her head as the tears filled her eyes again, Mary willed away any thoughts of the man she loved. That relationship was over and done. Still, none of her pain was Wes’s fault, and she could use all the friends she could get.
“I did quit my job,” she told him quietly. “I’m not sure what I want to do next. Something more exciting than the library, though.”
“The excitement of the past month wasn’t enough for you?”
“Well, maybe not quite that exciting.” She relaxed enough to chuckle at Wes’s good humor and he smiled at her in return. “I’m thinking of starting my own business. I want the challenge, but I’m not sure what kind of business yet.”
Wes nodded thoughtfully. “I’ll keep that in mind. Maybe something will come to me.” He rubbed at his chin. “Still living at home? Back on the Walsh farm?”
“Temporarily. But I’m looking to move out on my own. Maybe you could keep that in mind, too.”
“I will. Every now and then I hear about a house for sale or someone looking for a roommate.”
It was Mary’s turn to nod thoughtfully. Wes had never given an answer about stopping her surveillance. And now he looked as though he had something more he wanted to say.
She waited for it.
“You ever give any thought to Jake these days?”
Oh, God. Not that. Could she talk about Jake without breaking down?
For Wes’s sake, for the sake of keeping him as a friend, she decided to try. “Yeah. I do. A lot, actually. But…but…I’m trying to get over it.”
“Why? Don’t you care what he’s doing? I thought you two had something going on there for a while.”
She nearly choked on the sudden pain, but swallowed past the hurt. “Um, Wes, I hate to be rude. But this one is really none of your business.”
“So you do still care?”
The tears welled up again and she was forced to look somewhere else for a second to push them away. “Please. Why are you doing this?”
Wes’s eyebrows rose. “I thought you might want to know that Jake has left the FBI. Last time I talked to him he was in pretty sad shape. Having trouble getting over you, is my guess.”
Jake quit undercover work? “I…I can’t hear about him right now. I don’t care—not that much.”
“Hmm? And why not? Because he’s basically a bad person? You and I both know he is far from that. Or maybe because he lied as part of his job? And I suppose you have never told a single lie in your entire life.”
/> A lone tear trickled out of the corner of her eye and she brushed it away. If Wes had asked her that a few days ago, she might’ve had a different answer. Telling Jake she didn’t love him had been her first big lie.
No. All of a sudden she realized even that wasn’t the whole truth. Mary was lying to herself right now, in fact. She’d been hedging around the truth for most of her life. Her mother and brothers and Craig had never known the whole truth of how Mark Walsh had treated her and Lucy. If nothing else, that had been a lie by omission. And earlier today, she’d outright told her mother a huge untruth in order to protect Jake.
But sometimes there were good reasons for lying.
What? Did she really believe that?
“I have to g-go,” she stammered. “Wes, please stop following me. I can’t take it anymore.”
Mary turned, walking as fast as she could without running toward the front door. All the other people in the office surreptitiously followed her with their eyes.
As she put her hand on the door handle, Wes said something very odd. “I’ll try, Mary. But I can’t promise anything.”
“I just heard an interesting rumor, boss.” Truman had finally returned to Honey Creek from his forced exile after the beating he’d taken in Bozeman a month ago. He’d been trying to get back in the boss’s good graces ever since.
“I hope it’s good news. I could use some about now.”
“I think you’ll like this one.” Truman could only hope. “You remember that fellow you were having me follow before I went on…uh…vacation? Well, my buddy in the sheriff’s office told me the dude was actually an FBI agent, but that he’d quit and isn’t working in law enforcement at all now. You don’t still have someone tailing him, do you?”
A soft curse whooshed from the boss’s lips. “That fed’s already cost me plenty. No, I don’t have anyone following him around anymore. Why toss good money after bad? You sure you heard this rumor right?”
Proud of himself for bringing a smile to his boss’s face, Truman stood up a little taller. “Absolutely. But I can confirm it for you if you want.”
“No, drop it. There’s a plenty of other things you could be doing that would be more cost-effective.”
“Sure. Okay. How about the Walsh girl? The one that used to be a fatty? You done with her, too?”
“Mary was never important. The only reason she was included before was that she could’ve identified the stalker I hired. Now that’s no longer a problem and she’s off the radar.”
“Right.” Truman bid his boss goodbye and backed out of the office feeling on top of the world.
His life was finally in order in Honey Creek. And he couldn’t wait to get back to his regular job. As long as nobody ever found out what his boss had been doing in secret all these years, everything would be golden.
Chapter 16
Mary clamped her lips down on a soda cracker and used both hands to turn the steering wheel. She drove her car down the long driveway leading to the house in the woods that Jake had rented. The house where they’d been so happy. For a short time.
She’d tried to put in an offer to buy the place several times in the past couple of days. But this morning she’d finally reached a real estate agent who told her the house had already been sold.
Mary’s stomach rolled. Again. But being nauseous had nothing to do with the house. She chewed on the cracker, swallowed and prayed that it would stay down.
Must be a flu bug. Perfect. Just what she needed. It was bad enough that she couldn’t seem to stem the tears. Rivers of the salty liquid welled up at the worst possible moments. Her emotions had been on a real roller-coaster ride ever since she’d come back to Honey Creek. She couldn’t sleep and didn’t feel like eating.
Jake’s image appeared everywhere she went.
Yes, she was still heartbroken over him. Maybe she always would be. After her discussion about Jake with Wes, Mary had taken the time to review everything they’d been through. Jake had used her for his assignment, true. But he’d also had real feelings for her. Mary’s experience with men was extremely limited. Actually, her experience with any relationships seemed almost nonexistent. But everything inside her told her Jake had cared for her. Just not enough to make it last.
Sighing, she wished she could talk to him one more time. Tell him she wasn’t mad anymore. That she understood what he’d had to do for his job. Mary had tried reaching him through the FBI, but they refused to give her his forwarding address or number. She’d only wanted to talk to him—not stalk him. But upon second—or maybe third—thought, she’d come to the conclusion that seeing him wouldn’t have been smart anyway.
What could she say? That she’d been wrong? Yes, she would do so gladly. That she loved him? Well, it was true. But she wouldn’t be able to bear it if he sent her away after she’d laid her heart open. And he would’ve. Sent her away. She wasn’t the kind of woman that men yearned over forever.
Their relationship had been fast and furious. And though Jake meant the world to her, she had done something unforgivable. Called him a liar when he’d only been doing his job. She’d said terrible things, and she didn’t deserve his forgiveness or his friendship.
That was part of the reason why buying this house in the woods had become important to her. It reminded her of him. Of how happy they had been during their time here.
Earlier today the agent told her that the new owner was working on remodeling the house. Mary supposed whoever it was wanted to fix up the scorched family room. She hoped they were making the place as wonderful and cozy as it had once been—and that they then would consider selling it to her for a profit.
As she pulled up in front of the house, Mary saw a small group of workmen standing around smoking cigarettes and drinking hot drinks from thermos caps. Several cars and trucks were parked along the driveway. After she slipped her sedan in behind the others and stepped out, she noticed one of the cars belonged to Wes. His sheriff’s cruiser.
What was Wes doing here?
She found the sheriff standing near the cluster of other men, with his hands on his hips and his eyes trained on the part of the house under construction. When she came closer, she could hear the most god-awful-sounding racket coming from inside.
She came up beside Wes and raised her voice. “What’s going on?”
He turned and his eyes widened. “Hey, I’ve been trying to reach you. But your cell kept going straight to voice mail.”
Mary pulled the cell out of her purse. “No bars.” She had to yell to be heard over the noise. “Why did you want to talk to me?”
Wes waved a hand toward the house. “That.”
“What is that?” She turned to look at the workmen. “What’re they doing?”
“They’re hoping to go back to work. The commotion you hear is Jake. He says he’s dismantling the house. That he wants to take it to the ground.”
“Jake? My Ja— I mean, Jake Pierson?” Mary almost shook her head to clear it, ready to believe she was having a nightmare. “I don’t understand. What does the new owner have to say about all of this?”
“Jake is the new owner. If he wants to tear the place down, I guess there’s no law against it.”
Now she was sure this was a dream. “Wes, please start from the beginning. What in the world is going on?”
Wes took her arm and pulled her a few feet down the driveway where they could talk in lower tones. “Jake bought the house right after he retired from the FBI. He’s been fixing it up. Even hired a remodeling company to do the heavy work.” Wes gestured toward the workmen.
“Meanwhile, I’ve been trying to talk him into starting up a new personal security and alarm business right here in Honey Creek. Thought I was making some headway with him, too, until this morning.”
Crazy talk. Jake had been here in Honey Creek all along? “What happened this morning?”
Wes looked down at her with sympathetic eyes. “I drove out today to give it one more try. I told him it was time for
him to stop trailing you around and start doing something productive. I even made that mandatory.”
“Jake? Jake is the one who’s been following me? Why?”
“I’m no psychologist, Mary. But my gut says he’s obsessing over your safety. Not entirely sure what’s behind that, though.”
Oh, Jake.
“When I told him he had to stop, he kind of fell apart. Ordered me and the workmen to get off his property.” Wes screwed up his mouth in a scowl. “You need to talk to him. He won’t listen to anyone else. That’s why I’ve been trying to reach you. If this gets much worse, I may have to temporarily commit him to the psych ward at the Bozeman hospital. He’s becoming a danger, both to others and to himself.”
Mary didn’t hesitate, or take the time to discuss it further. She started running toward the front door.
By the time she reached the porch steps, uncertainty about whether she’d be able to get inside slowed her down. To her astonishment, the door opened easily. She closed and locked it behind her with a quiet snick.
Turning toward the room under construction, she faced a man she barely recognized. Dear Lord, he must be having a breakdown of some sort. Jake had a chainsaw in one hand and a sledge hammer in the other, and he was ripping up newly put up drywall with a vengeance.
Construction debris, sawdust and scraps of wood flew everywhere. She blinked a couple of times and realized Jake had already demolished the back wall. Now he was moving over to attack a new stone fireplace as tears ran down his face. Tears. On the strongest male she had ever known.
Stunned, she just stared at him. He looked twenty years older than the last time she’d seen him. His shoulders slumped. His eyes were crazed with emotions she couldn’t name.
Suddenly she didn’t know what to do. What to say to get through to him.
But she had to get through. He couldn’t keep carrying on like this. It would kill him.
While he hammered at the stone like a wild man, she calmly walked up behind him, crooning his name. Not in the least afraid, she wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her cheek against his sweat-soaked back.