Tripped Up Love

by Farley, Julie

  Tripped

  Up

  Love

  Julie Farley

  Perfect Mamas Press

  Tripped Up Love

  Perfect Mamas Press

  Published by Perfect Mamas Press May 2013

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 2013 Julie Farley

  Cover illustration by Rob Huddleston

  All rights reserved.

  ISBN: 0989222705

  ISBN-13: 978-0989222709

  This book is dedicated to the ones I love…on earth and in the stars.

  Acknowledgments

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Chapter 38

  Chapter 39

  Chapter 40

  Chapter 41

  Chapter 42

  Epilogue

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  Writing this book was a labor of love and done with the help of so many special people. Two and a half years ago, Jenni and I met and started writing together. Our love of writing grew along with our friendship and we faithfully wrote our first books together. Every Monday we sat and helped each other with our plot. We exchanged emails and texts each and everyday as we hashed out our books. Without our partnership, I could not have written my first novel. I owe Jenni a debt of gratitude that I hope can be repaid with my friendship.

  Thank you to my fearless editor, Julie. She taught me all the things that were obviously lacking from my English education. She read my book, made her corrections and edits and encouraged me every step of the way.

  Thank you to my cover designer, Rob, who put up with all of my changes and crazy emails.

  I am one lucky girl to have a close circle of friends around me. I cannot begin to thank them for all they do for me each and every day. They inspire me, watch my children, read my words and cheer me on. Thanks to Ali for her constant support. A special thanks to Suzanne for helping me think of the right words to use and ones to avoid in certain scenes in this book. Suzanne has helped me hold onto my dreams with her friendship and support. Thank you to Lisa for reading and editing and telling me what I needed to hear. Not a day goes by that I don’t turn to my go-to-gal. Thank you to Lisa for being that gal and always lending a hand, having an open ear and bringing me a beer. Our friendship means the world to me.

  Not only do I have the best friends in the world, I have a pretty amazing family too. A mom who supports all that I do by helping with the kids, reading drafts, buying Sharpies, bringing food and doing it all with a smile, a hug and tons of love. A mother-in-law who is my biggest cheerleader. A brother who wanted to read my book so badly, he stole it. And a sister-in-law who provided me with tons of material.

  And the family that I live with is deserving of the world. Justin has supported me in so many ways and has laughed good naturedly as I have drooled over Adam Levine and imagined him in every which way in this book. My kids, Alex, Eva, Gigi and Ethan, have shared me with the computer screen. They give me new writing material everyday and light up my world in countless ways. They are my stars on this earth and I thank them for their patience.

  There’s a star in the sky smiling down on me and oh how I wish he could read his own copy of my book. But, thank you to my dad who would have given the longest toast at my book launch party, thank you for encouraging me to write and follow my dreams.

  Prologue

  Heather stood at the altar and read the eulogy. The eulogy for her dead husband.

  I met Hank on the first day of kindergarten. He was building with the big blue plastic blocks and knocked them over on top of my head. I went to the nurse and got a boo boo sponge and Hank had to sit on a chair in the corner. We both ended up in tears. On the second day of kindergarten, I accidentally ate Hank's snack. Meadows and Nester, our cubbies were right next to each other. So were our seats. We both ended up in tears, again. The alphabet pushed us together - Heather and Hank, Hank and Heather.

  In first grade, we had our first sleepover and shared our first kiss under his bed. In fourth grade, we played Joanie and Chachi at recess. In seventh grade, I lip-synched “Let's Hear it for the Boy” and dedicated it to Hank at the middle school talent show. In high school, he asked me to prom. I said no. Things got complicated.

  For 32 years, Hank was my life, my everything. I can't remember my life before Hank. I can't imagine a world without him in it. And he's gone.

  But, now, as I look at the faces he loved most, I know Hank is still here. Hayes has his inquisitive mind and all of his hair. Gracie has his eyes and relentless dedication. And Henry, he has his laugh and wicked sense of humor.

  We lost the sunshine in our days, the cherry on our sundae, the strong arms that kept us safe and wiped away our tears. I lost my Chachi. We lost our everything.

  She got through the entire thing without a tear, which was a minor miracle. But, Heather doubted there were any left anyway. The sun shining through the skylights made the tears streaming down everyone else’s faces glisten. She walked unceremoniously back to her seat in the first pew and sat next to their kids - Hayes, Gracie and Henry. She knew she would have to resume her position as rock of the family shortly, but for this moment she let the rest of her family and friends carry her. Jenny rubbed her back from the next pew back and her mom, who was sitting right next to Jenny, gripped her shoulder so hard Heather could feel nails digging into her skin. Her mother-in-law, Hank’s mom, sobbed as she held her head in her hands, but her father-in-law gave Heather a small smile and a wink. Lauren, Hank’s sister, gave her a sweet, tear-filled smile.

  After the ceremony, Heather stood in the back of the church with the kids and shook the hands of all the mourners. The mourners needed to see Heather wasn’t going to crumble. They needed her to be strong, and they needed to see life could and would go on. It took every ounce of Heather’s strength not to fall down onto the floor of the church screaming. Her happily ever after was over.

  Chapter 1

  Eighteen months later

  “I can’t believe he didn’t take the fucking garbage out again,” she yelled without even thinking.

  Shit, Heather thought. He’s dead. He’s been dead for over a year and I’m still yelling at him.

  And then the tears came again. He’s dead and I’m still talking to him. I’m supposed to be taking care of three children and finding a job and I talk to my dead husband. No less, I yell at him. I don’t cry and say I wish he were here. I automatically yell. What does that say about me? I’m a complete bitch. The thoughts in her mind were racing.

  And the cycle continued. Crying and beating herself up because she had forgotten Hank was gone. Hank
had been Heather’s world. But in an ironic twist right out of the Alanis Morrisette song, her everything was here today and gone tomorrow.

  It was time to wake Hayes up for middle school. Gracie was still asleep in Heather’s bed under the quilt of Hank’s t-shirts Heather had made a couple of months ago. Henry was watching his morning dose of ESPN before he got on the bus. Fortunately, Heather didn’t think Henry had heard her yell at his dead father.

  Getting everyone up and ready to go hadn’t gotten any easier in the last year and a half. At first they were buoyed by the constant barrage of meals and help from every which way imaginable but that was long gone. Now, Heather was the pitied one. She was still included in all of the neighborhood get-togethers, but Heather’s Catholic guilt was tired of bringing the party down. Tanya, one of her neighbors, had once mentioned to Heather that she must be jealous of all the women. Heather was astonished to hear that. Of course, she wished that Hank could sit next to her at the happy hour, but she could not imagine being jealous of the other women because they had their husbands. Most of their husbands treated Heather like a little sister and not their next conquest. Some thought Heather might be out to steal their husbands. Tanya kept a watchful eye on her husband whenever he came over to help Heather. She obviously wasn’t sure what kind of plumbing problem he was going to fix. Heather knew that was more Tanya’s problem than her own, but it didn’t make it any easier to deal with.

  Last month, she went out with one of the newly divorced neighborhood moms. Heather had noticed an increase over the last few years in the number of divorced women that she knew. She stayed away from the gossip but was able to piece most of the stories together on Facebook between snide comments made by spouses or friends. Heather found herself in a similar single parent situation, but her situation was also different. Her husband wasn’t going to take the kids on alternating weekends or every Wednesday night for dinner. He was dead. He couldn’t help from the grave, and it made her so mad sometimes. Not sometimes…most times. They had had everything, and now she had a hard time believing she had anything. She had three fabulous kids who were holding on to her like she was an anchor. And she felt like she was the worst kind of anchor. The kind that was about to pull them under.

  Heather forced all of her thoughts out of her head because it was time to execute the morning routine. Heather popped two frozen waffles into the toaster and went upstairs to wake Hayes up. He jumped into the shower and screamed, “HENRY! You spilled all of the Axe all over the shower!”

  Once again, Henry, the early riser, had messed with his big brother’s stuff. Heather wondered what a kindergartener needed Axe for anyway.

  Heather peered over the balcony and saw Henry smiling on the couch tossing his ball in the air and catching it with his mitt. He had gotten the reaction he wanted.

  Now, to wake up the little angel who seemed more like a saber-toothed tiger when she had to get up.

  “Gracie, sweetie. Time to wake up.” Heather slowly lifted the t-shirt quilt off of Gracie in hopes a blast of cooler air would get her up.

  “I don’t want to go to school, Momma.”

  “I know, sweetie, but you have to go. Let’s get up and get you dressed.”

  Picking out clothes with Gracie was one of the most torturous parts of Heather’s day. Gracie was so particular, hating tags and rough seams in her clothes. Hank used to tease her and pretend her clothes were biting her. Heather tried to tease her now, but they both usually ended up in tears. Flip-flop season freed them of socks, and fake Uggs, stinkily, did the same. Heather picked out a t-shirt and skirt that were quickly rejected because they were too green. The next choice, a dress, was too flowery. The third choice Heather presented was a pair of leggings and an off the shoulder neon shirt from Justice. Gracie acquiesced after a few minutes, got dressed and ran downstairs for breakfast. And finally, all three of Heather’s cherubs were awake and ready to face the day.

  Breakfast was the same every day - a frozen chocolate chip waffle and a mango, banana, kale smoothie. One offset the other. Henry preferred to eat his waffles frozen, so there was even less preparation. As long as he didn’t break a tooth, Heather didn’t really care. But she really didn’t care about much lately.

  Hayes left first, and the other two got on the bus about 45 minutes later. As soon as the kids were gone, Heather came inside and sat at the computer for a bit. First she got on Facebook - a great diversion - and she caught up on all of the other mommies’ going ons. Elizabeth had just gotten back from Tennis sectionals in Florida. Tanya’s daughter had made honor roll for the eleventh time in a row in middle school. It made her feel like a part of them without having to leave her house. That was just what she wanted. She promised herself she would do some writing as soon as she walked the dog and cleaned the house.

  Hank’s life insurance policy had stated if he died at work Heather would receive more money. Fortunately, he died at his desk in the office. What a terrible thought, but true. If there was a silver lining, that was it. A $500,000 silver lining. Heather was determined to finish her book this year and submit it to publishers to see if she could be a real writer. Heather had never really given much thought to financial independence. She had a master’s degree and was a smart woman. But she had spent her time raising her kids and now felt lost without Hank and his career. Well, that was only one of the ways she felt lost. There were so many others it was sometimes hard to count. Writing was her dream, so writing was what it was going to be until the money ran out. She lived frugally, but frugal didn’t come easily with three kids. The truth of her financial situation was one that was hard to bear and certainly hidden inside the 3,700 square foot house she lived in. But for now, all she had to do was get through the next two days. Then her mom would have the kids overnight giving Heather a much needed chance to recharge.

  Chapter 2

  The next few days were a blur of activity and before she knew it, Heather found herself on her own. She got up early and got dressed for a run. Her mom still had the kids, so she had some free time. She hoped the run would offset the popcorn and junior mints she had eaten by herself while she had watched Love Actually for the 700th time last night. Coco was thrilled to see her leash in Heather’s hand as walks seemed to have taken a back seat lately. The heat of the day wouldn’t come for a few hours, so Heather started running. She ran to the corner of the busy street and waited for her turn to cross. The first part of her route was uphill. It was her favorite part. The uphill allowed her to justify adding some walking to her run. The peace and quiet gave her the sanity she needed to get through her day. For some reason, as soon as she was pounding the pavement, writing ideas popped into her head easily. Her ‘memoir,’ in its scattered state, was printed out and lying on the kitchen table waiting for her to find some inspiration or dedication.

  Heather’s run was going so well she decided to extend it and go down to the river. She got to the corner to cross the street. Leash in one hand, bag of dog poop and cell phone in the other. There was a break in the traffic, and Heather took off. Straight into a pothole and smack down into the middle of the street. A navy blue Lexus slammed on its brakes and pulled over.

  Fuck, thought Heather. She ran on this route so no one would see her. It was her few minutes of anonymity. Now she had fallen crossing the road every PTA mom traveled. People would be writing on her Facebook wall in a matter of minutes asking her if she was ok. All of her friends would wonder what else could possibly happen to this poor widow. Heather didn’t want to look up. She knew a perfectly coiffed blonde would be getting out of the car in her workout clothes. She tried to get up quickly and realized she had messed up her ankle. Coco was licking her face when she noticed there was a man grabbing her arm and pulling her up. He put her left arm over his shoulder and somehow half dragged her and half carried her over to the car. He opened the door with his free hand and effortlessly sat her in his passenger seat. Heather was still holding onto Coco, who was looking at this stranger quizzically. He ben
t down to pet Coco and look at her ankle.

  That’s when she got her first look at him. He was wearing a short-sleeved v-neck t-shirt and jeans. Tight well-fitting jeans. And he had tattoos on his arms. Beautiful tattoos. For a minute, she thought he was the guy on The Voice or maybe his older brother. But then she remembered where she was and knew he would never be hanging out in her neck of the woods. He looked up at her with his big blue eyes and asked if she was hurt anywhere else.

  “No. It’s just my ankle. I think I twisted it in the stupid pothole.”

  Shit, she thought, realizing she was still carrying the bag of actual shit. She held it up, smiled and tossed it into the woods next to the car.

  “Let me drive you home. There’s no way you can walk and hold your dog at the same time.”

  “No, really I’ll be ok. I just live on the next street.”

  “I insist. Put your legs in. Your dog can go in between us.”

  Heather gave in. Her ankle was killing her, and she didn’t want to be seen hobbling home. She could only imagine the questions and texts that would conjure up.

  She directed him to her house. They pulled into the driveway two minutes later.

  “Do you mind if I put your dog inside the fence in the backyard?”

  “No, that’d be great,” mumbled Heather. While he took care of Coco, Heather had her first chance to get a good look at all of him. She noticed his jeans framed his ass perfectly. Even through the tattoos, Heather could see how defined his arms were. Before she knew it, he was headed back to the car, and she shook her head to force herself to stop checking him out. He walked to her door and opened it.

  “Now it’s your turn. Hold onto my hands and I’ll help you out.”

  “I’m fine,” Heather claimed, wincing as she tried to put any weight on her foot.