The Widow's Little Secret

by Judith Stacy

  “What else, Mattie?”

  After a moment, she looked up at him. “I wonder why Del loved her and not me. Why I was such a poor wife that he went elsewhere.”

  Even after that confession, she still looked troubled.

  “And?” Jared asked.

  Mattie shrugged and gazed across the street again. “I wonder why I didn’t fight harder for Del after he started going out so much and stayed out all night. What kind of wife would just let her husband go like that?”

  “Come with me.” Jared took her hand and went into the jailhouse, into his bedroom. Across the hall, Mr. Hopkins snored softly in his cell bunk.

  “Del Ingram was a fool, Mattie, and a terrible husband. It didn’t have anything to do with the kind of wife you were.”

  “But it must have. It has to. Why else would he want Hannah and not me? Why else would he go out most every evening? Stay out all night, sometimes?” Mattie shook her head. “No, it had to have been me. I did something wrong. I wasn’t a good wife.”

  “You were a fine wife.”

  “I tried. Really, I tried. I actually liked…” She waved her hand toward Jared’s bunk. “You know.”

  “I can vouch for that.”

  “Nothing I did was right in his eyes. Nothing I did was good enough.”

  Jared caught her chin and turned her face to his. “Ingram wasn’t man enough for you, Mattie.”

  “No.” She turned away. “I did something wrong. Otherwise, he would have wanted me. He’d have come home at night. I didn’t try hard enough. I just wasn’t…desirable.”

  “The hell you aren’t.” Jared caught her arms and pulled her to him. She gasped and color flooded her cheeks as he ground himself against her intimately. “This is how desirable you are, Mattie. I don’t get this way. I stay this way. Del Ingram was a fool to leave you in a cold bed. I’d never do that.”

  He brought his mouth down on hers in a demanding kiss, working their lips together until Mattie leaned her head back, welcoming him.

  He lifted his head and splayed his palm across her cheek. Her hot breath panted against his lips.

  “Maybe you didn’t love him.”

  “Wh-what?” she asked, her eyes glassy with desire.

  “If he didn’t kiss you like this, if you didn’t kiss him the way you’re kissing me now, then your marriage was wrong from the start. It didn’t stand a chance,” Jared said. “And there was nothing you could have done to change it.”

  Mattie shook her head, clinging to Jared’s shoulders. “But I did love Del. At first. I’m sure of it.”

  “No, you didn’t. Del was a big talker—even as a kid. He could sell anything to anybody. He sold himself to you because it suited him. But don’t—don’t!—think that meant there’s anything wrong with you.”

  Mattie eased away from him, but he didn’t let her get far.

  “You seem to know a lot about marriage,” she whispered.

  “I know I love you.”

  She stepped back. “You don’t know that.”

  “Yes, I do.” Jared took her arms and pulled her close again.

  “No. I was married to Del all that time and I—”

  “I love you, Mattie.” Jared gazed deeply into her eyes.

  “No…”

  Whistling and shuffling feet in the hallway caught Jared’s attention, as Billy appeared at Mr. Hopkins’s cell with a food tray.

  “Hi, Miss Mattie,” he called, as if there was nothing unusual about seeing her in Jared’s bedroom, as if he didn’t notice the strained looks on both their flushed faces. “I found Mr. Pitney like you asked, Sheriff. He’ll be by here directly.”

  “I’d better go,” Mattie murmured, ducking her head.

  “I’ll walk you to the restaurant.”

  “No, I’ll—”

  “I’ll walk you.”

  He did just that, but neither of them spoke. The damp wind was cool in their faces, yet did nothing to alleviate the heat between them. Jared didn’t go into the Cottonwood with her; he figured he’d said enough already.

  By the time he got back to the jail, Mr. Pitney was there. Jared told both him and Billy what he’d discovered at the McCafferty place that morning.

  “But she claims he didn’t hit her?” Billy asked, scratching his head. “A big bruise right on her face, and she wouldn’t tell you her husband was the one who did it?”

  “I think she was too scared,” Jared said. “I told her I’d bring her into town, find her a place to live, someplace safe until she had the baby. But she wouldn’t do it.”

  “Can’t you arrest McCafferty?” Mr. Pitney asked.

  “Not if his wife won’t say he’s the one who hit her,” Jared said. “I’ll ride out that way more often, keep an eye on things. Mr. Pitney, I’d appreciate it if you’d let me know if anything else goes on.”

  He nodded. “I’ll do what I can.”

  “I’d better get that tray back to the Cottonwood,” Billy said.

  Jared tossed him a coin. “How about doing Mattie’s dishes tonight, Billy?”

  “Well, sure. But what about Mr. Hopkins?”

  “He’s doing something else.” Jared turned to Mr. Pitney. “Do you know Mr. Hopkins?”

  “No, sir, I don’t.”

  Jared nodded toward the cells in the back of the jailhouse. “Come on back and meet him. I think you two have a lot in common.”

  Chapter Nineteen

  “Lordy day, I never heard two old men talk so much in my life,” Billy declared. “Fact is, I never heard Mr. Hopkins talk that much in the whole entire time I’ve known him, like he was talking to Mr. Pitney when they left here yesterday.”

  “Is that right?” Jared asked, rising from the desk in his office.

  “And all over the two of them serving in the war together.” Billy grinned as he swept the floor. “And then, Mr. Pitney offering Mr. Hopkins a place to stay out at his farm? My aunt Frannie, she was plumb surprised when I told her about it. That was downright smart of you, Sheriff, to put the two of them together like that.”

  Jared settled his hat on his head. “I’m going out for a while.”

  “Uh, Sheriff?” Billy paused in his sweeping. “You reckon you could do me a favor?”

  “Depends on what it is.”

  “You remember how my aunt Frannie’s got it in her head that I need to go back East and work for my uncle, ’cause I don’t have no real job here in Stanford? Well, sir, I was wondering if’n you could go talk to my aunt Frannie and tell her all about how I’m doing with my temporary deputy duties, so’s I won’t have to go back East and work in that can factory.”

  “Sure, Billy. I’ll talk to her.”

  He smiled broadly. “Thank you, Sheriff. Thank you kindly.”

  When Jared left the jail, the sun was out, warming the air and drying up the last of yesterday’s rain. He walked to the Cottonwood; things were quiet, as usual, for midafternoon. Both Mattie and Mrs. Nance were at the worktable, bent over a tablet of figures.

  “Afternoon, ladies,” he called.

  Mrs. Nance whispered something to Mattie. She shook her head frantically and turned the tablet over.

  “Something wrong?” Jared asked. He took a closer look at Mattie, noting the dark circles beneath her eyes.

  “Nothing,” she said quickly.

  “Everything’s wrong,” Mrs. Nance said. Mattie glared at her, but the woman went right on. “She hardly slept a wink last night, worrying about how she’ll manage this supper with no bank loan, worrying that she’ll have to tell the town council to give it to the Silver Bell.”

  “I’ll find a way,” Mattie insisted.

  Mrs. Nance rolled her eyes. “She’s so stubborn.”

  Jared resisted the urge to voice his agreement. Instead he said, “The supper is still a few days away. Mattie will figure out something.”

  She sat a little straighter. “Thank you, Jared.”

  “Will it be all right if I steal you away from here for a few minutes?�
� he asked. “I’ve got something I want to show you.”

  Mattie shook her head. “I shouldn’t, really, there’s so much to be done.”

  “Oh, go on,” Mrs. Nance insisted, slipping from the stool. “I’ll handle anything that comes up.”

  “Where are you taking me?” Mattie asked, as they left the restaurant.

  He couldn’t hide his smile. “You’ll see.”

  They walked to Mattie’s house, where Jared gestured grandly to a large object covered with a drape sitting on her front porch. He swept off the covering, revealing an oak cradle.

  “What do you think?” he asked. “I had it made special for the baby and delivered here. Do you like it?”

  Mattie ran her fingers over the fine finish and the elegant carvings at the hood and foot. “It’s beautiful. I’ve never seen anything so lovely.” She looked at Jared. “But you shouldn’t have. You’ve already bought so much. It’s not right.”

  He raised an eyebrow at her. “Do you think you’re the only one who already loves this baby?”

  Mattie gulped, taken completely by surprise. Emotion welled inside her, flooding her eyes with tears. “Oh, Jared, that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard.”

  He touched her upper arms, drawing her closer. “Would this be a good time to ask you to marry me?”

  Mattie sniffled. “No.”

  “Well, I guess it never hurts to ask.”

  “I don’t know why I’m crying,” she said, fanning her face. “It’s just—”

  “The baby.” Jared passed her his handkerchief. “I know.”

  “How can you be so nice to me?” Mattie asked, looking up at him as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. “How can you want to marry me?”

  “I told you, Mattie. I love you.”

  She swiped at her tears, trying to force down her emotions enough to talk to him. It wasn’t just her financial worries that had kept her awake last night. Jared had been on her mind, too. In fact, he’d occupied even more of her thoughts than the possibility of losing the investors’ supper. But she didn’t understand how that could be. Keeping her restaurant was the most important thing in her life. Wasn’t it?

  “You were right about me not loving Del,” Mattie said, gulping down tears. “I guess I was more lonely than anything. And he seemed so wonderful when he courted me.”

  “You didn’t love Del, because he wasn’t worth loving,” Jared told her. “He didn’t stick around. He didn’t try to make a go of it. Not all husbands are like that, Mattie. I won’t be that kind of husband.”

  Without giving it a second’s thought, Mattie knew he was right. Jared would always be there. After their first night together, when he’d awakened and found her gone, he could have simply left town. He hadn’t, though. He’d come after her. Marched right into the kitchen of her restaurant, and he hadn’t left that day until she’d asked him to.

  When he’d come back to Stanford to take the sheriff’s job, and discovered she was pregnant, he could have hightailed it out of town. Turned his back and let her fend for herself. He could have claimed the baby wasn’t his, washed his hands of the whole thing, and no one would have been the wiser.

  Jared hadn’t done any of those things. Instead, he’d worried over her, helped with her business, tried to make her life easier, bought clothes for her and lavished gifts on the baby, who wasn’t even born yet.

  “You’ve been wonderful, Jared. When you’re around me, you’re truly thoughtful and kind,” Mattie said. “But—”

  “But how do you know I won’t turn into the same kind of husband Del was? Is that what you’re wondering?”

  Mattie looked away, wishing with all her heart she could tell him no, that wasn’t what she wondered. What she feared. But in truth, it was.

  He seemed to read her thoughts. “Who do you trust in this town? Billy? Mrs. Nance? Who?”

  She dabbed at her eyes, not understanding what he was getting at. “I trust lots of people. Certainly Billy and Mrs. Nance.”

  “You ask them. Ask anybody. Especially Billy, since he’s spent so much time with me. Ask him what kind of man I am when I’m not around you. Ask him how I run my life, how I treat people. Ask him.”

  Mattie sniffed again. “But marriage is such a big step. And there’s the baby to consider.”

  “A wife. A baby.” Jared shook his head. “It doesn’t scare me, Mattie.”

  “Oh! Would you please stop making so much sense? You know I hate it when you do that!”

  Overwhelmed, Mattie sobbed into the handkerchief with one hand and reached out for Jared with the other. He snuggled her against him, smoothing his fingers through her hair.

  She was tired, so tired. Worn out from thinking and worrying, planning and hoping. At that moment, Mattie wanted to let go of everything, melt into Jared’s embrace and stay there forever.

  He lifted her off her feet into his arms. “What are you doing?” she asked.

  “I figured I’d better do this while I can. In a few more months, you’ll be bigger than two heifers and a sow. I’ll be lucky if I can pull you out of a chair, let alone pick you up.”

  Knowing he was teasing, she giggled through her tears. “Oh, hush,” she said, and swatted him on the shoulder.

  Jared settled into the porch swing and sat her beside him, then snuggled her against his chest, with both arms around her. “You need to rest for a while.”

  Mattie sat up. “Good gracious, Jared, people can see us from the road. What will they say?”

  “They’ll probably say ‘what a great husband Sheriff McQuaid would make’ and ‘what’s wrong with Mattie that she won’t marry him?”’ He eased her against his shoulder again, only to have her straighten once more.

  “But, Jared, out here in public like this—”

  “We can go inside,” he offered. “If you’ll recall, I have other ways of making you relax. Several other ways.”

  She blushed a bright red. “Jared—”

  “Mattie.” He looked deep into her eyes. “Everything is going to be fine.”

  In that instant, she had no doubts that they would be, just as Jared had said. Mattie laid her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes.

  “Would this be a good time to ask you to marry me?” he whispered.

  “No.”

  He glided the swing back and forth, and she fell asleep.

  While it wasn’t as good as rolling around in bed with her, Jared had thoroughly enjoyed cuddling Mattie close while she slept. It hadn’t lasted nearly long enough to suit him. Neither had it pleased him that she wanted to go back to the restaurant. But the nap had done her good, so he’d walked her over, hung around until he’d gotten underfoot, then left.

  Jared wished he could say the rest of his day promised to be just as enjoyable. Impossible, considering what he had to do. With a resolute sigh, he hunted down Mrs. Pomeroy.

  “Yes, Sheriff?” she said, when he approached her outside the mercantile.

  “I wanted you to know, ma’am, that I did as we discussed. I talked to Rafe at the Lady Luck.”

  Her brows raised. “And?”

  “And the truth is, Mrs. Pomeroy, he’s already done quite a bit to accommodate you ladies, and what you’re asking will make it tough for him to run his business.”

  “I see.” She folded her hands in front of her.

  “But I want you to know that I intend to stay close to the Lady Luck. I’ll keep an eye on things, make sure they don’t get out of hand. You and the ladies of your committee can rest assured I’ll do everything in my power to keep a lid on any trouble at the saloon,” Jared explained.

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes, ma’am. I guarantee it.” Jared cleared his throat. “Like I said, I’ve done everything I can, so I’d appreciate it if you’d sell me that brooch we talked about.”

  Mrs. Pomeroy stared at him, her lips pinched together, her eyes narrowed. Finally, she drew in a great breath of air, stretching her neck upward and leveling her gaze at him.


  “Never!” she declared. “You, Sheriff McQuaid, are woefully inadequate in the discharge of your duties. Sheriff Hickert was far, far superior. You are ineffective, uncouth and totally lacking in decorum. You don’t deserve to hold the office of sheriff. I intend to make my feelings known to the town council at once, and I will see to it that—”

  Gunfire from down the street interrupted Mrs. Pomeroy’s tirade. They both swung around and saw men running out of the bat-wing doors of the Lady Luck Saloon.

  As if that proved her point, Mrs. Pomeroy tossed her head and stormed away.

  Jared cursed through gritted teeth, drew his pistol and headed for the Lady Luck.

  Chapter Twenty

  “This ain’t good,” Billy predicted mournfully as Jared wrestled his prisoner into the cell. “This ain’t good a’tall.”

  Jared dropped Johnny Ballard onto the bunk, then closed and locked the cell door. The boy mumbled drunken curses as he flopped around like a fish on a riverbank.

  “Big Jim’s gonna be mad as a bear with a sore butt when he finds out you’ve arrested his son again,” Billy said, shaking his head.

  Jared gave a curse and stalked into the office. Johnny Ballard had gotten drunk again and, like before, started shooting up the saloon. Thankfully, nobody had gotten hurt. Except for Jared, when the kid had caught his chin with a lucky punch.

  “I want you to ride out to the Three B Ranch.” Jared yanked open his desk drawer.

  Billy gulped. “You want me to go out to the Ballard place?”

  Jared slammed the prisoner ledger down on his desk. “You tell Jim Ballard to get into town. I want this settled tonight.”

  “You want me to tell that to Big Jim?” Billy’s eyes widened and he wiped his palms against his baggy trousers. “Well, sir, all right. If’n that’s what you want me to do.”

  “Damn right it is. And don’t come back without him.”

  Billy hurried out the door.

  Grumbling and snarling, Jared entered Johnny Ballard’s arrest in the ledger. Damn, this couldn’t have happened at a worse time. That kid had made him look like a fool in front of Mrs. Pomeroy. There he’d stood, promising her there’d be no more trouble at the Lady Luck, and the Ballard boy had started shooting up the place.