Cross My Heart: A Waverley-Cay Novel

by Avery Maxwell

I don’t get to ask what it is that is taken care of because I hear the door shut again and in walks Dex, smiling without a care in the world. He makes the rounds, greeting each Westbrook in turn.

  When he reaches me, he says, “Surprise!”

  “Oh, dear. Dexter, this is not the kind of surprise you spring on someone.” Sylvie tsks him in a way I have often heard from Mimi, and I feel immediately relaxed around her. Turning to me, she explains. “Well, since none of my boys have managed to give me any grandchildren yet, I like to borrow Dexter’s whenever I can.”

  I give him the side-eye, but he is still all smiles.

  “After that dreadful woman left, you know who I’m talking about, dear, I started making my trips to visit more regularly. When the girls were a few months old, I started taking them to my house one weekend a month, so Dexter could have some time to himself. Truthfully, it's so I can spoil the kids rotten.” She adds under her breath. “I haven’t been by lately because I was trying to let you settle in, but Preston here told me it might be time for another visit. Let’s get these kiddos packed up, and we’ll be on our way!”

  “But, but I don’t understand? What’s with all the muscle?” I ask, staring at all the Westbrook’s.

  “Oh, don’t mind them. These boys have known Dexter almost as long as Preston has. When they heard what I was up to, they just couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see the girl that caught Dexter’s heart,” she says slyly.

  Dex clears his throat suddenly. “Right, okay, Sylvie, let's go, I’ll help you pack a bag. Lanie, you’ll need to pack too. Just a few things, bathing suits, shorts. Just the essentials, nothing fancy.”

  “Oh, okay,” I say.

  I guess I’m going to the Westbrook’s too. It would have been nice of him to give me a little heads up. I try not to be bitter, but I realize this will be the first time in months we haven’t spent the night together in some way. The realization makes me sad.

  “Hey, sweet thing, why so glum?” I don’t know how he does it, but Preston is always sneakily perceptive.

  “Oh, nothing, just thinking about what I should pack,” I tell him.

  Preston watches me for a few minutes, and I see the wicked gleam in his eye. “Pack whatever you want, darling, it’ll just be you and Dexter on the yacht. The six of us are on kid duty all weekend.” He winks and walks away, leaving me feeling like I just got bulldozed by a Westbrook truck.

  “That is a whirlwind of a family,” I comment as all the Westbrook’s make their exit with kids and gear in tow.

  “That they are, but they are some of the best people I’ve ever known. Sylvie loves the kids, and the boys all love it because, at least for a few days, she stops nagging them.” He laughs and pulls me down onto the couch with him. “So, you ready?”

  “Ready? For what? Am I going to Sylvie’s to help with the kids?” I ask.

  “No, Lanie. We are going away for the weekend. On a boat, just the two of us. Well, plus the crew. Did you pack?” He asks, staring me down, daring me to disagree.

  “Dex, I don’t know. This sounds like a lot,” I say honestly.

  “Just because we will be on the water and not land doesn’t mean any of our rules change, Lanie. This weekend is just for you. Plus, I already got permission from Pete and Julia. Mimi sends her love too,” he winks.

  I roll my eyes. “Of course, you did.”

  “Come on, let's get you packed, we leave in twenty,” he says, pulling me along.

  “I don’t even know what to pack, seriously, this is so far out of my element,” I can’t help but whine.

  Coming up behind me, he wraps me in a hug that calms me immediately. “Don’t worry so much, Lanie, I’m here for you. Come on, I’ll help. You really don’t need much.”

  Almost an hour later, we’re settled into the cabin of the boat. “Dex, where I come from, this is more than just a boat. This is massive, like Beyoncé massive,” I admonish.

  “Only the best for you, sweetheart. Now, come on, get unpacked, dinner will be served soon.”

  “Dexter!” I screech. “I didn’t bring anything to wear to a sit-down dinner.”

  “Sweetheart, this is just about you and me. There is staff on board, but you will rarely see them. Their job is to make sure we have everything we need without ever being in our way, or making you uncomfortable. You could go to dinner in your pajamas and it would be fine. I just want you to relax and have fun. Have you ever had a real vacation? An adult vacation that didn’t include Maxine and Pete?”

  Embarrassed, I look away.

  “Lanie, I didn’t say that to embarrass you. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that they always included you in their family. In all the shit in your life, they were the one consistent bright spot, and I’ll be forever grateful. I just want you to experience a few days where you have absolutely nothing to worry about except what you want to do, eat or drink next. Can you do that for me?”

  Throwing myself at him for the millionth time, I hug him. Letting all the words I can’t say, show through my actions.

  “Come on, I’m starving.”

  Dinner was incredible. I don’t think I have ever eaten such delicious food in all my life. Dexter had found out all my favorites, leaving out the chicken parmesan, and made sure our first meal was something I’ll never forget. Laying on the deck of the boat as he calls it, we are side by side with our heads angled toward each other. Hands entwined, Dex raises them to kiss each of my knuckles.

  “So,” he begins, “This is day 67 in my plan to make you never wanna let me go. How’s it working so far?” His eyes dance with humor, but his voice is laced with love.

  True to his word, he has done something every single day. Some days it was a simple flower or a candy he thought I would like. One day it was a book he found in an old bookstore; other times, they are over the top like this.

  Never once have I felt pressure from him. Never once has he initiated anything intimate without asking me first. As I peek over at him, I see the nervousness he holds. He is always worried I’m going to run. After everything he has given me, all the kindness he has bestowed, I give him as much as I can.

  “Honestly, I don’t think I have ever felt more loved than I have these last couple of months.” I don’t look at him, I can’t, or I’ll break. It’s as honest as I can give him right now.

  He rolls to his side, running his fingers through my hair. “I do, you know.”

  It’s not a question. There is no doubt what he means, but he clarifies anyway.

  “I love you, Lanie. I love you like I never imagined possible. When you hurt, I feel it deep in my soul. When you are happy, I feel like I could float away. When you smile at me, I feel like the king of the God damn castle.

  I am not expecting anything in return right now, Lanes. I just want you to allow me to be a part of your life, so when you are ready, when our time is right, we will be together forever. I have no doubts about that, Lanie. You’re it for me. I know I’m scaring you, that’s why I got you on this boat, so you can’t run away from me,” he laughs.

  “I’m kidding, sort of.” He winks, kisses me gently on the lips, and lays back down beside me.

  He loves me. Just me. Not what he can get from me. Not what he expects from me, just me. Pawpaw is the only other man to ever love me unconditionally, and as much as he loves me, it's different from Dex. I don’t know how to explain it, I definitely can’t describe it.

  “I always loved to lay and look at the stars,” I tell him. “No matter how bad things got in my life, I knew I was always connected to Julia through the stars.”

  Dex reaches over, taking my hand in his once again. “I’m so glad you had them in your life, Lanes. They are as much a part of you as any of the bad, I’d say they are even more you than your mother. I see how you are with the girls. God, Lanie, how Tate took to you, how you got him talking almost immediately. You have so much good in you, I wish you could see how much you still have to offer,” he tells me with eyes full of love. />
  I’m silent for a while. We lay side by side, holding hands. “When I first came home from the hospital, I moved in with Julia. She changed my bandages every day. As they started to scar over, we would talk about connecting them like the stars. As the scars healed, they seemed to appear worse. At least to me. I stopped trying to connect them. I stopped looking at them all together. I would turn away when Jules would tend to them.”

  I break for a moment, not sure how to share the rest. Counting to ten, I figure it is just best to get it out there, so I do.

  “After plastic surgery, I knew the scars were as good as they were going to get, but it didn’t matter anymore. I couldn’t have children, so it didn’t matter what the outside looked like anyway. I try not to touch them when I’m in the shower, I try to pretend like they don’t exist. You’re the first person to see me besides Julia, and as much as I know you care, you couldn’t hide your disgust. I don’t blame you…”

  “Wait a minute, Lanie. Just wait a minute. I want to make one thing clear, when I saw you naked, I was not disgusted. I was pissed, Lanie.” He adjusts to make sure he is facing me straight on. “I wanted to tear that guy apart with the dullest pair of scissors I could find. I have gotten off to the image of you naked more times than I care to admit. If you think anything other than that, I have failed you.”

  He takes my hand and places it on his dick. “This, Lanie. This right here is what happens every single time I think of you. Every single time I imagine you or hear your voice. Do not for one minute mistake my hatred for what happened to you for anything other than it is. Everything I feel for you, I feel because of you. Who you are, what you do, what you stand for, and yes, even your scars. I go to bed thinking of you. I wake up thinking of you. Every single inch of you.”

  I sit up, searching his eyes, and at this moment, I know I want him. I turn slightly, lifting my leg so I’m straddling him. He sits up, staring into my eyes.

  In a husky voice, he asks, “what do you want, Lanie?”

  “I-I want you to show me what you see. Show me how you see me,” I plead.

  “Lanie, you have to be very clear right now. Are you asking me to touch you?” He asks me, his voice raw.

  Biting my lip, I nod my head.

  “Lanie, sweetheart, I need you to tell me. I need to hear you say it,” he says softly.

  “I want you to touch me, Dex.” My voice is as confident as it has been all night.

  “Out here? Right now?” His voice is so close I can feel it vibrate through my chest.

  “Are we alone?” I ask, looking around, suddenly shy.

  “Yes, the crew is in their cabin for the night. I’ll ask you again, Lanie. Do you want me to touch you out here?”

  “Yes,” I whisper.

  “Anything you don’t like, anything you are not comfortable with, just say stop and I swear to God I will stop immediately. I’m dying, literally sweating like a teenager at the thought of finally touching you. Most importantly, though, is that you understand that you will always come before my needs, you hear me? The second this,” he says, pointing between him and me, “isn’t what you want, just say stop.”

  “Dex. I trust you.”

  “Sweet Jesus, Lanie, you have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear that. Come here.” He lays me out on the top deck of the boat, gently placing me on cushions. He moves to lift his shirt over his head and I feel the need to squeeze my thighs together.

  “I’m going to take your shirt off now,” he informs me. Once it's off, he sits back on his feet and looks at me while slowly lowering my shorts. I’m left in nothing but my bra and panties.

  Hovering over me, he growls. “You are the sexiest thing I have ever seen, Lanie.” Painfully slowly, he lowers his mouth to my neck. “I’m going to kiss every inch of your body, then I’m going to do it again and again. By the time I am done with you, you’ll never think of your scars again.” He gently nibbles my neck, making me shiver.

  My hands go to his shoulders and I take in his massive body. He is unbelievably beautiful. Running my hands down his chest to his abdomen, I feel every flex of muscle, every time he breathes, I feel his body rippling. I don’t know when he goes to the gym, but he has very clearly never missed a day.

  “Lanes,” his voice is strained, and I realize he is working extremely hard at staying still to allow my exploration of him. Dropping my hands to my sides, I bring my eyes back to his. “Sweetheart, I am all for you touching me wherever the hell you want, but right now, all I really need is to show you and let you feel how much you mean to me.”

  I nod my head and bite my bottom lip. I’m not positive I’m ready for this, but I want it more than anything.

  “Lanie, are you okay?” the concern in his voice is so raw.

  “Yes,” I say more confidently than I feel. “I-I…”

  “What is it, sweetheart? Tell me what you need?” He repeats, letting me know I am in control.

  “I think I have to close my eyes,” I say, suddenly feeling so ashamed.

  “Whatever you need, baby, but I want to make sure you stay here with me. At this moment, can you promise me your head won’t wander to anything but what you’re feeling, right here, right now?”

  I hadn’t thought of it that way.

  “Baby, I want you aware of who you’re with every minute of this. I think you should keep your eyes on me and only me, can you do that? I won’t force you, but I’m worried if you close your eyes, this might not end well.”

  “Okay, eyes on you,” my words are shaky. Dex knows I’m nervous.

  “I’m going to kiss you now, Lanie. From here,” he kisses the base of my neck, “to here,” he touches the instep of my right foot, “and back again,” his finger ghosting over my entire body, sensitizing me in ways I never imagined.

  “O-okay,” is the only word I can form.

  “Keep your eyes on me at all times. Understand?” He whispers against my skin.

  I can no longer form sentences, so I nod my head.

  His lips make their way across my collar bone, then he slides his tongue back across the skin he just kissed. The ocean-air feels frigid against the wetness of his hot tongue. My entire body quivers underneath him.

  “I’m going to unhook this now?” He asks, pulling at the strap of my silk bra.

  “Mhm…yes,” I add when I remember he wants words, not incoherent blubbering. Closing my eyes, I feel him reach in between my breasts to the tiny clasp holding both sides of the purple fabric together, but he doesn’t release them.

  “Open your eyes, baby, look at me,” he commands.

  My eyes fly open, not realizing I had closed them.

  “You good?” He asks, looking deep into my eyes.

  I smile at him. “I’m good, I want this, Dex. I want you.”

  “That’s what I want to hear, sweetheart.”

  With the flick of his wrist, my breasts are freed. I’m a C-cup, so there was definitely some spring when they were released. My eyes move from my nipples to Dexter’s eyes. He is licking his lips and his eyes have darkened as he sits back to take me in. Slowly, showing me what he is doing, his hands move to cup each breast.

  “God, Lanie. You’re perfect. So fucking perfect.”

  His fingers knead and pull at the flesh, rolling one nipple then the next. I’ve never known how sexual this could feel. His hands lightly pulling and pinching my erect nipples has me moaning and writhing.

  Sweet baby Jesus, he has barely touched me, yet my belly is coiling and tensing like I’m going to explode. I feel a light sheen of sweat appear all over my body.

  Leaning down close to my ear, he asks, “You like this, Lanie? Does this feel good?”

  “Yes, God, yes,” I answer, unable to keep my voice down.

  He growls loudly in response. He moves to straddle me and I feel how hard he is beneath his shorts. Without thinking, I reach for him, but he swats me away.

  “Not yet, sweetheart. You touch me now and I’ll never last. Just let me explor
e you for a while. I want to know every inch of your body, Lanie. Every dip,” his hands run over my hip bone to my navel, “every valley,” his finger trails up my sternum, “every peak,” his hands rest once again on my pointed nipple.

  Dex leans down and kisses the most raised of my scars, the one that crosses from my left rib cage down to my right hip. I shudder beneath him, not from his touch but by fear of what he must be thinking, being so close to those jagged marks.

  “Lanie?” He queries, now running his tongue along the bottom scar that runs hip to hip just above my pubic bone. “These,” he pauses, kissing the third and final abrasion on my abdomen, “are just marks, they are just parts of your skin, parts of you, and trust me, baby, there is nothing I don’t find sexy about you. Every single inch of you is delicious. I am going to have so much fun tasting and touching and teasing as often as you’ll let me.”

  My breathing is ragged. I’ve never felt this exposed, or this wanted. The smell of salt air, the sounds of waves hitting the boat, and the feel of Dex when he lowers his mouth to my nipple once more, is more than I can bear. I combust. I see stars. I feel like every muscle in my body is spasming. When I can finally breathe again, I open my eyes to see Dex resting over me with a self-satisfied smirk.

  “Holy shit, Lanie, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen in my life,” he says in admiration.

  “I, um, well…sorry?” I say as he creases his brow. He looks as confused as I feel.

  “Lanie, have you never had an orgasm before?” I might die. Right here, underneath Dexter Cross, I just might die of embarrassment.

  “Of course…” wait, is that what just happened? When I don’t continue, he leans in closer to my mouth again.

  “Good Lord, Lanie. Who the fuck was your last boyfriend?” he says in astonishment.

  Mortified is the only word that describes me right now. Completely and totally humiliated. I try to cover my eyes with my arm before he can see the flush I feel creeping across my entire body.

  “Oh no, you don’t, Lanie Heart. Look at me.” Lowering my arm, I bring my eyes to his, willing myself not to cry. “Lanie, don’t ever be embarrassed about coming from my touch. I’m fucking ecstatic I got you there so quickly. I swear to God, I almost came in my shorts watching you. It was the sexiest thing I’ve ever experienced. To know I’m the first one to make you orgasm like that? F-u-u-ck, it does wicked, wicked things to me, Lanie. Wicked things I can’t wait to show you, but we have all the time in the world. So, you tell me, Lanie. Do you want me to continue exploring, or do you want to stop?”