Lanie, seeing my hands balled into fists, places her palm on my knee. One shake of her head is all it takes to tell me not to make a move, she has it handled. Feeling proud of my girl's strength, I place my hand on her lower back as encouragement. To my surprise, she lets her mother continue.
Her mother leers back at me, “Names Laurel, what’s yours, handsome?” she holds out her hand.
I stare at it briefly and make a show of placing my hand in my pocket. “My name is Dexter, I’m not the one here to talk to you,” I inform her.
“Shit, you got him wrapped up tighter than a willy in a whore house,” she spits out at Lanie. “Tell me, did my dear old daughter here tell you she got a man locked up and his son taken away, all because she needed some attention? She got herself in too deep with some guy then claimed he attacked her. Can you believe that shit? You look like you got money too, you better watch yourself around the girl who cries wolf, or you might be in jail next.”
Unable to control my anger any longer, I lean in with a voice so low and dangerous, it's hard to detect as my own. “If I end up in jail, it’ll only be for putting you where you belong.”
Lanie pulls me back and ushers me behind her. I know this isn’t my fight, but hell if I’m going to sit by while this woman tells straight-up lies.
“Are you done, mother? Or is there any other poison you want to spew my way? This is your one and only chance to get it off your chest, after tonight, we will never see each other again.” Lanie alerts her with an eerie calm to her voice.
“What? You givin’ me ultimatums now, you ungrateful little shit?” Her mother leans in dangerously close and loses her balance on the stool.
Lanie catches her, sitting her upright and moving away quickly.
“Get your slutty little hands off me before I call the cops,” Laurel grumbles.
“No ultimatums, mother, I’m simply telling you, after tonight, you will no longer be welcome in my life.” I’m starting to get nervous at how rigid Lanie’s body is, even though her voice remains steadily calm.
“News flash, smart-ass, that’s not how family works. You’re stuck with me just like I’m stuck with you.” Laurel shoots an evil grin our way.
“Not my family. As I said, is there anything else, anything at all you want to say to me?” Lanie asks again. Laurel stares at her incredulously.
“Nope, I got nothin’ to say to you that you ain’t already heard.” Lanie nods her head, and Laurel is clearly thinking this is the end of their conversation.
“That’s fine, mother. I do, however, have one question for you. Why? Why have you hated me so much all my life? What could I have possibly ever done to you?” A small speck of vulnerability creeps into Lanie’s voice.
Laurel’s face goes red and she slams back the rest of her beer. Laurel leans in, so she is almost nose to nose with Lanie. “Why would I ever love the whore that killed my sister, my best friend, why would I ever love you after that?”
Lanie’s face goes white. Clearly, she has no idea what her mother is talking about.
“What are you saying?” I interject, “Lanie was two when your sister died.”
Seething and through clenched teeth, Laurel spits, “You think you know so much, you and your little slut here...”
I interrupt her. “I’m going to tell you one time and one time only, do not disrespect Lanie in front of me again, or you will not like the outcome. I have the resources to make your life a living hell, don’t doubt me on that.”
Laurel stands quickly, this time yelling. “You think I’m not already in hell, you asshole? I’ve been in hell for twenty-two years. If this needy, whiny, problem-causing bitch didn’t get an ear infection, my sister wouldn’t have gone out that night.” Finger pushing into Lanie’s chest, she announces each word with a hard poke, “My sister died because of you. It is your fault. Everything has always been your fault.”
Before I can stop her, she shoves Lanie with both hands, sending her flying backward off her stool. I reach her just before her head hits the ground.
Lanie waves me off, standing face to face with her mother once more. “I was a child, mother. A child incapable of caring for myself. You are the one who brought me into this world. Therefore, it was your responsibility to care for me, not auntie’s. If I had to guess, I would say you were probably too drunk to drive to the store, that’s why auntie went. Am I right? That seems the most plausible. That would make it your fault, not mine. Even if you weren’t drinking, you, mother, were the adult. You failed me in every way possible, not the other way around.” She paused to take a breath.
“When you are old and alone, you remember that. Remember that you once had a daughter who tried everything to get you to love her, who tried everything for you to notice her. When you are alone and dying, you remember that you did this to yourself, not me. Do not contact me again. Do not contact the McDowell’s again, and do not contact GG again, or I will be the gum on your shoe. You think you are in hell now? It will be nothing compared to what I will do if you bother any of us ever again. That’s not a promise, mother. That there is a threat.”
Lanie grabs my hand just as I notice Laurel raising a beer bottle in the air. Fuck no, not again. I lunge at Lanie, covering her body with my own just as the bottle crashes down on my head.
A few stitches, and many hours later, we pull back into the McDowell’s drive. Lanie maneuvers the long driveway like she has done it a thousand times before. She probably has. We haven’t talked much since arriving at the hospital, Lanie has seemed deep in thought, and I figure after tonight, she probably has a lot to sort through.
I always thought my mother was evil for leaving, but after experiencing Laurel tonight, I realize she likely did me a favor.
After putting the car in park, Lanie turns to me, “I’m going to help you in and get you settled, then I’m going to head back to Julia’s house.”
“Do you want me to come with you?” I ask more hopeful than I should be, “I’m sure Sylvie would be fine to get up with the kids.” It’s too dark for me to read her face, but I already know the answer before she speaks.
“No, thank you. I’ll be fine, and Tate will be sad if you’re not here when he wakes up.” I sigh because she is right. “Jules and I will be back in the morning to help get everything ready. I-I’m going to need some time, Dex. I need to fix myself before I can know what I am capable of giving.”
I feel the sadness of her words deep in my chest. “Okay, Lanes. Just know, we are waiting for you whenever you are ready.”
I want to tell her how much I love her, but worry that she isn’t in the right headspace, so instead, I tell her a different truth. “I am so proud of you. You were so strong tonight. You never cease to amaze me, Lanie, but tonight I saw a strength I think you have had hidden away for a long time. I’m so incredibly proud of you.”
She chokes out a “Thank you,” followed by, “let’s get you inside.”
True to her word, Lanie gets me settled inside. As soon as she leaves, my spot on the couch is overcome with visitors. Every single adult in the house is crowded, perched, nestled, and squished-in all around me, asking for details. Once I have finally quenched their thirst for gossip, I send them to bed and lie awake for hours wondering where Lanie and I will land when the dust settles.
Lanie
Chapter 36
“I cannot, I repeat, cannot believe you got them all here behind my back, Jules,” I’m slightly hysterical, but when your best friend continually goes behind your back, I think slight hysterics are warranted.
Julia was also conspicuously asleep when I got home last night. She also just happened to have Charlie in bed with her so I couldn’t ram her room and start yelling. “And, by the way, using Charlie as a shield is low, even for you.”
“Hey, he is sick, I can’t help it if he needed some mommy snuggles that just happened to save me from your wrath for a few hours. Listen, I already told you, I’m not going to apologize, this is for your own good. N
ow, go get ready, we have to leave soon, Mom’s waiting for us.”
I roll my eyes at her but stomp past to get in the shower anyway. Shutting the bathroom door, I hear Julia’s phone going off like fireworks, and I know it’s that damn group text no one will tell me about. I’m really starting to hate them all.
Dex
MLM Recovery Plan
Dexter: How is she this morning? She hasn’t replied to any of my texts.
Trevor: Just how many have you sent this morning? Give her some space, dude.
Dexter: It doesn’t matter, I just need to know she is ok…last night was rough.
Preston: Just how rough was it???
Cooper: Rough Rider
Ashton: Rough God Goes Riding?
Easton: Van Morrison? Nice.
Shepherd: Rough waters?
Cooper: Shep, you lose. That sucks.
Shepherd: I hear you do too, dude.
Dexter: Seriously, Preston, get these dickheads out of here. I need real help, real advice, not all this shit.
Preston: Now you know how we have felt for the last 9 months, dude.
Dexter: Pres, I am begging you, please. I am on my last nerve right now, I swear to god, I think she is going to run, I can’t handle this all, please.
Trevor: Pres, he is desperate
Preston: Alright, alright. Sorry Westbrook’s, you’re getting the boot.
Cooper: Wait? Seriously? I wanted to see what happens.
Trevor: You will, if you get an invite to the wedding, you’ll know MLM worked. Buh-bye Westbrook’s.
Julia: All right, asshats, she is in the shower. We will be over shortly. Dex, she is a little snippy today, but I think we can handle it. Don’t pressure her about plans or the future, though, she still has a lot of shit to work through.
Dexter: Ok, thanks, Jules.
Julia: Shit, gotta go, she is after my phone again. FYI, hide all your phones, she is on to MLM and is making it her mission to find out what’s going on.
Dexter: What??? NO. Do not let her do that, it’ll ruin her final surprise.
Preston: Such a romantic
Dexter: Shut it, get me everyone’s phones, now, and I mean everyone’s. You can all have them back when Lanie leaves.
Preston: Wtf, you’re not serious?
Dexter: 100% get them now.
Lanie
“If you’re not going to give me your phone, at least give me the gist of what the messages say?” I’ve gone to begging, and I’m not ashamed of it.
“Lanes, I already told you I can’t. When the time is right, you’ll know everything. Just be patient.” Jules tells me. “Now, grab the stuff from the kitchen, the car is running so I’m going to head out with Charlie, the poor guy still has a fever, I’m not sure he will make it through dinner.”
“Awe, Charlie-o. I’m sorry, anytime you need to leave just let me know. I’m happy to leave whenever you are.” I tell her.
“Yeah, I’m sure you are.” Jules rolls her eyes and walks out into the cold.
Damn, I already forgot how cold it is up here. I am really loving the weather in North Carolina a lot more than I thought I would. That’s not the only thing you’re loving. Ugh, even my inner voice is ganging up on me.
Twenty minutes later, we are walking into the very full McDowell’s home. Mimi is in heaven, having always envisioned a large family. The Boys, as we are now calling the Westbrook boys, are all on the couch with Pawpaw and Tate. Dex is nowhere to be found. Mimi and Sylvie are flying around the kitchen, laughing like they have been friends for years. The entire scene makes my heart happy.
Did I bring all this happiness to their doorstep?
“Mom,” Julia whisper-yells behind me, “Charlie still isn’t feeling well, and he fell asleep on the way over, I’m going to put him down in Lanie’s room. Is that okay?”
“Poor little guy,” Mimi and Sylvie say in unison. “Of course, of course,” Mimi starts, “is that alright with you, Sylvie?”
Sylvie must have slept in my old room last night.
“Of course, dear, whatever you need. If anything is in your way, just push it to the side,” she says.
“Thank you, Mrs. Westbrook,” Julia says while Sylvie tsks.
“None of that, Sylvie will do just fine,” she lets Julia know.
“Alright, thank you, Sylvie.” Julia smiles at me on her way to the stairs.
Is she feeling the happiness around us too? Has it always been this way, or is it different? Am I different?
I have all these thoughts running through my head, confusing me at every turn, so I don’t notice when Dex comes up behind me, Harper in his arms.
“Happy Thanksgiving,” he says. Not to be outdone, Harper exclaims, “happapapa babababa, Momma!”
We both freeze and the entire house seems to have gone instantly quiet.
I casually glance around, knowing everyone is waiting for my freak out. Hell, I am too, but it doesn’t come.
Looking up at Dex, I say, “Happy Thanksgiving to you too, how are you feeling? I’m so sorry about my mother.”
“I’m not, Lanie. For once, I was freaking there for you, on time no less. I might even get my man-card back now.” He winks just as Harper starts screeching.
“Momma, Momma, Momma,” and holding her arms out to me.
Okay, now I’m freaking out a little. Once could be played off as baby babble, but four times! I’m starting to sweat, not sure if I’m ready for this when Mimi comes to the rescue.
“For now, all you have to do is pick her up and reply ‘Lanie’ whenever she says, Momma. If at some point you both agree that Momma is a name you want to take on…” she winks, “it’ll be easy enough to correct. Don’t tell her no, just reply with ‘Lanie’.”
“But we haven’t, I mean, we’re not ready, we, talked, haven’t…Geez, I don’t know what I’m trying to say.” I drop my head to my hands, feeling like I could cry. “Why am I so messed up?”
“You,” Pawpaw says, pointing right at my heart, “are not messed up. I thought we talked about this, Lanie. You’re a good girl who was given a raw deal. It’s up to you now to make your life right. Make your life what you want it to be. You took the first step last night, now follow through,” he says, kissing my forehead in greeting. “Now, give me this little pumpkin pie, who do we have here?” he asks.
“That’s Harper, Pawpaw, you can tell because she has a little freckle on the left side of her nose,” I tell him.
“What? She does?” Dex asks incredulously. He puts his face right up to Harper’s. “No, shh-shiplap, she does.”
“I see our Lanie girl has gotten into your skin there, sonny, no one says shiplap unless they are head over heels with my girl.” I recognize the voice immediately.
“GG,” I exclaim at the same time Dex says, “Miss Rosa?”
“GG?” Dex asks. “Miss Rosa is GG?”
“Good grief, son, you need a lesson every time your-a coming to visit or what? Yes, I’m GG, but you don’t go callin’ me that till you’ve earned it, you hear?”
Dex just nods and laughs.
I know it’s a lot to take in. I love GG, but she is a piece of work.
“Now, git over here and help my old ass to the table, I’m a hungry an I need to get to the mountain soon.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Dex jokes.
Dinner goes smoothly with everyone joking and having a great time until Mimi stands to make an announcement. With a clink to her glass, she says, “Can I have everyone’s attention? Pete and I have something we would like to share.”
Julia and I make eye contact across the table and realize neither of us has a clue what this is about.
“Originally, we thought we would just be sharing the news with our girls, but now with all of you here, we couldn’t be happier to be sharing it with the whole family.” It doesn’t escape me that Mimi refers to Dex and the Westbrook’s as family. “After a lot of thought, Pete and I have decided to finally retire.”
“What?” Jul
ia and I yell in unison.
“Now, girls,” Mimi starts, “you both knew this day was coming.”
“What does this entail, exactly?” Julia asks, like a cartoon, we can all see her brain spinning with possibilities.
“Well, for starters, we have a buyer for our practice, so we will begin phasing out after the New Year. Once that is finished, we are thinking early spring, we will work with a realtor to put the house up for rent when we aren’t here, unless Julia decides she would like to take it over.”
Julia raises her hands and shakes her head.
“We just aren’t ready to let it go yet, you girls grew up here, we like the idea of grandkids having a place like this to visit. Towns like this build character and instill empathy, it’s a good place for everyone to spend some time,” she makes a pointed glare at a few of the Westbrook boys, and Sylvie laughs.
“Why are you going to rent out the house?” I ask, dreading the answer.
“Oh, Lanie. You’ve always known we want to retire to the beach house. In the last couple of years, we have been getting it ready for us to live there at least half the year,” she reminds me.
“So, you’re moving to the Outer Banks?” Julia asks with a wicked grin.
“That’s right,” Pawpaw says, “I can’t wait to wake up to the sounds of the ocean every day.” He really does seem excited, but I can’t help the feeling I’m missing something when I see the looks being tossed around between Mimi, Pawpaw, and Jules. This is a lot to take in, I’m not sure what to make of it.
Sitting at the large table long after dessert has been served, I take the time to observe my surroundings. Mimi and Pawpaw’s house is still the same as it’s always been, a comfort to my chaos, a safe haven in my world of hurt. The older couple are the same loving people they have always been, opening their home to people that were strangers just yesterday. Scanning the group now, we look like a family. A large, noisy, messy, chaotic, slightly dysfunctional family.
Cross My Heart: A Waverley-Cay Novel Page 26