Cross My Heart: A Waverley-Cay Novel

by Avery Maxwell

  My family, the voice in my head says, not sounding so traitorous these days.

  I feel a small hand pulling on my shirt, and I look down to see Tate. He seems nervous and unsure of himself, not at all the kid we have come to love the last few months. “Hey, Tate-o-nator, what’s up?”

  He shrugs his little shoulders and I excuse myself from the table. Dex appears concerned, but I tell him we’re okay. Walking Tate back to my little slice of heaven at the window seat, we both get comfy.

  “What’s up, big guy? You don’t seem so happy.” I try to sound upbeat, but something about his posture has the hairs on my neck sticking up.

  Without looking at me, he hands me a big sheet of paper. I know instantly that it’s our family portrait he drew at school. I swallow, trying to fight back the tears, why is he giving this to me?

  “In case you don’t come home, I wanted you to have this. You’ll always be my family too, Lanie.”

  I stop fighting the tears and let them fall. “Oh, Tate, I’m sorry if I made you worry. I am coming back, remember, I promised you.” I tell him, holding him close.

  “But you might not stay, I heard my dad talking to uncle Trevor on the phone last night. He was super upset too. If you can’t be my forever, can you promise to always call on my birthday?”

  I’m crying so hard now I can’t breathe. Dex was upset, Tate wants me to be their forever.

  What the hell am I going to do?

  Dex

  Chapter 37

  It’s been two weeks since we arrived home from Vermont. I haven’t pushed Lanie, I know the conversation with her mother and then the McDowell’s dropping the bomb of their retirement on her has been a lot to process.

  The first week, she was definitely subdued, retreating to her room most nights as soon as the kids were in bed. This week, I feel as though something has changed. She’s welcoming my affection, sometimes sleeping in my bed so I can hold her, sometimes staying in her own room, I try to take comfort in the small victories.

  Lanie has promised Tate that she will be here for Christmas, so I’ve decided it’s time to get MLM ready for her. On my way home from the office, I stopped at a little Booksmith on the outskirts of town and told him what I want. He took all the copies of the texts I have saved since the first MLM group text went out, explaining I would like space left at the end of each day for me to handwrite a note. If he is confused by this outlandish request, he doesn’t say so. He simply tells me it will be done in a week. As far as I know, Lanie has not made any decisions yet, and to be honest, I’m scared of pushing the issue.

  Pulling up to the house, I notice Sylvie is here. She is parked in front of the garage so I can’t pull in—that’s strange. Did I forget she was coming? Pulling in beside her, I make my way to the front door, letting myself in.

  “What the hell? Lanie?” I yell when I notice Harper sitting in the middle of the entryway. Looking past her, I see Sara sitting further down in the hallway. “Lanie?” I yell again, picking up Harper and making my way to Sara.

  This isn’t like Lanie at all. Just as I’m about to panic, Trevor steps out of the hallway bathroom. What the fuck is going on? He points to Harper, then Sara, then himself. That’s when I notice they all have matching red shirts on.

  “Trev, you’re worrying me, what is going on and where is Lanie?” He doesn’t answer, just points again to Harper, Sara, then himself.

  That’s when I notice they have words printed on them. Harper’s says The, Sara’s says Thing and Trevor’s says About.

  Trevor takes Harper from my arms and nods down the hall, Preston walks forward, taking Sara from my arms, and I notice his shirt says Lanie, and I start to sweat. I might even be trembling.

  What kind of man fucking trembles?

  Preston senses my hesitation and puts a hand on my shoulder. He also doesn’t say anything, but the grin exploding from his face puts me at ease, somewhat. He nudges me to enter the kitchen further, where I find Sylvie. Her shirt says Is. She gives me a kiss on the cheek and turns me toward Tate. I walk over to him. He is so happy, he is bouncing on his toes, and my heart rate picks up. Placing a hand on my chest, I see his shirt says She.

  Holy fuck, I think I’m having a heart attack.

  Tate propels himself forward, and I have no choice but to catch him. “I love you, Dad,” he says right before he starts squirming to get away.

  I set him down and he turns me toward the playroom where Lanie is standing with her back to me. My heart is pounding so loudly in my ears, I feel deaf. I am definitely shaking now, and the sweat dripping down my spine reminds me how much I want this to be real. How much I need this to be real.

  “Lanie, sweetheart, you’re killing me here. I’m about to have a heart attack, I think. Please, baby, put me out of my misery.”

  She slowly turns her head, tears flowing down her cheeks but a smile that could light up the darkest of days.

  “Lanie, please, baby.”

  Winking, she starts to turn her body. When I see the word STAYS! I run to her, holding her damp cheeks in my hands.

  “I’m going to need to hear you say it, sweetheart. Tell me this means what I think it does.” Lanie is crying still, and the splash that hits my arm tells me I am too. She nods her head through her tears, but it isn’t enough.

  “No, Lanie, I need you to say it out loud. I need to hear it.” I tell her.

  Through sobs, she says, “I’m staying, Dex. I’m staying for as long as you’ll have me.”

  “As what, Lanie? What are you staying here as?” I ask her, hoping she’ll say mine and not the nanny.

  With a wink and her best Vivian impersonation, she says, “What do you want me to be?”

  On a growl, I capture her lips with mine. Every time I taste her, she is sweeter than the last. This kiss will forever be my favorite, it’s the first one where I know she isn’t going anywhere. The first one that makes her mine forever.

  Pulling away, I tell her, “Mine, I want you to be mine forever.”

  Before I can finish, Tate comes tearing into the room. “Mine too, Lanie, mine too!” he says, jumping up and down. Looking behind me, I see all the red shirts lined up. The Thing About Lanie Is She Stays.

  “She stays,” I repeat.

  “She stays,” Lanie says, staring into my eyes. This is a day I will never forget.

  MLM Accomplished!

  Dexter: I did it. Lanie is mine, she is staying forever. She is officially my girl.

  Trevor: I am literally standing two feet from you.

  Preston: I’m blocking you now.

  Loki: Good to hear, man. Happy for you.

  Dexter: Loki, you back?

  Loki: I am, and I have about 4,000 texts to go through.

  Preston: Don’t bother, all you need to know is he got the girl.

  Julia: But their story is a pretty good read if you want to spend a few hours catching up.

  Julia: Congrats, Dex. I’m happy for you both.

  Dexter: I know I have driven you all crazy this year, but thank you for standing by me. All these messages will be worth it when Lanie opens her Christmas present.

  Christmas is in a few days, but Lanie hasn’t been feeling well. I’ve spent days trying to get her to go to a doctor, but she keeps refusing. She keeps telling me she gets this way sometimes before her period, but she has a slight fever, and the upset stomach is becoming more frequent, so I decide to call in the big guns.

  Putting the phone on speaker, I walk into the family room where Lanie is laying on the couch.

  “Lanie!” Julia yells, startling us both.

  “Jesus, Jules, you didn’t have to yell,” I tell her

  “Whatever, Lanie, do you hear me?” Julia asks.

  “Yes, Jules, I think they can hear you all the way uptown,” Lanie informs her.

  “Good,” Jules says, barely lowering her voice, “then you listen to me.”

  “And me,” Mimi chimes in.

  “Me too,” Pete adds.

 
Lanie, groans. “I’m listening.”

  “Dex tells us you haven't been feeling good, and no matter what line of shit you’re feeding him, you and I both know it isn’t normal. We have made you a doctor’s appointment, Sylvie is on her way to watch the kids, and you are going. Do you understand?” Julia scolds.

  “Fine, MOM.” Lanie spouts like a sullen teenager.

  “Good, Dex, I want you to go into the exam room with her and call me back and put it on speakerphone, so I can hear too.”

  “Julia, I am not a child. I am perfectly capable of going to a doctor’s appointment on my own.” Lanie tells her.

  “No can do, luvs, you lost that chance when you wouldn’t go to the doctor in the first place,” Julia informs her.

  Lanie must really not be feeling well because she puts up no further argument.

  Sitting in the exam room, I feel anxiety settling in my chest. We’ve been here an hour and we haven't gotten any information in that time. The nurses have taken her bloodwork and a urine sample; since then, we’ve just been waiting. I’m also learning that Julia has the patience of a two-year-old.

  “Have they come back yet? What the hell is taking so long?” She asks.

  “Jules, you asked less than five minutes ago, you will hear them enter whenever they do, just try to relax, please. You aren’t making this any better with your impatience.” I inform her.

  “Well, excuse me, asshat. I’m not there, and I’m worried,” she responds, sounding truly upset, making me feel like the asshat she called me.

  “Jules, I am fine, I promise. I’m sure they are just backed up, we did get squeezed into the schedule today.” Lanie tries to appease her friend.

  There is a knock on the door and we hear Julia, “About freaking time.”

  “Julia,” I hiss, “if you don’t behave yourself, I’ll put you on mute.”

  “Don’t you dare,” she replies angrily, then, “I’ll stay quiet,” she says more subdued.

  “Ms. Heart, I’m doctor Bailey, nice to meet you. Let’s have a peek, shall we?” The doctor lays Lanie down and starts manipulating her stomach. She must feel Lanie’s scars because she asks if it's okay for her look at them.

  Lanie says yes and begins to explain. “I was attacked a couple of years ago,” she begins, the doctor nodding, listening to her explanation.

  When Lanie has finished, the doctor covers her back up. “Alright, Lanie. Is there any chance you are pregnant?” I watch Lanie swallow her sadness.

  “No, the attack made pregnancy impossible for me,” Lanie explains to her.

  “I see. Can you tell me where you were treated for the attack? And would you be willing to have the records sent over here to me?”

  “What for? Is something serious going on with Lanie?” Julia blurts from the phone screen, sufficiently confusing the doctor.

  “Sorry, Dr. Bailey, that’s my best friend, Julia, she insisted on being involved,” Lanie explains, embarrassed.

  Dr. Bailey smiles and says, “I see, it’s always good to have people around who care. To answer your question, Julia, no, I do not believe Lanie is in any danger, however, with injuries like Lanie’s, I like to make sure all my bases are covered.”

  “I was treated at Dartmouth Hospital in New Hampshire. I grew up in Vermont, that is where the attack happened. Dartmouth was the closest hospital with a trauma center.” Lanie explains before Julia interrupts again.

  “Dr. Bailey, my dad is friends with the Chief of Medicine there, have Lanie text me what she needs and I’ll make sure you have it within the hour.”

  Dr. Bailey smiles. “She doesn’t mess around, does she?”

  Laughing, I tell her, “No, she doesn’t. Sometimes it’s a blessing, sometimes it’s a curse.” I looked down to the phone then, thankful Jules had already hung up, presumably to call her dad.

  Dr. Bailey gives me all the information on where to send the records, has Lanie sign a release, and leaves the room. Fifteen minutes after sending it to Julia, she calls back.

  “It’s all set, Dr. Bailey should have it in her mailbox,” Julia says.

  “How the hell did you do that so fast?” I ask her.

  “Never underestimate the determination of a worried father. Dad had his buddy paged out of surgery, and voila, Dr. Bailey has Lanie's records.”

  “Remind me never to get on your bad side, Jules. I have a feeling you can be scary as hell,” I say as I look over to Lanie, who has fallen back asleep. “Jules,” I whisper, “Lanie fell asleep again, I’ll let you know when the doctor comes back in.”

  “Okay, thanks,” Julia whispers back.

  MLM Accomplished!

  Preston: How’s our girl?

  Dexter: Sleeping…she has had bloodwork taken and given a urine sample but no results yet. The doctor was waiting for her medical records from Vermont.

  Preston: You doing, ok?

  Dexter: I’m fine, it’s probably just the flu, but the doctors have to cover all the bases because of her prior injuries.

  Trevor: Hang in there, man. I’m headed to your house now with pizza and to give Sylvie a hand with the kids.

  Loki: I just walked in your door.

  Preston: I’ll bring the beer and some dessert for the kids.

  Dexter: Thanks, guys.

  Julia: Good job, boys. I’m proud of you.

  Preston: (Rolling eye emoji)

  Almost an hour later, Dr. Bailey knocks on the door, waking Lanie. “Hi, Lanie, how are you feeling?” she asks.

  “Tired and nauseous,” Lanie responds. Dr. Bailey smiles at her.

  “I’d like you to meet my colleague, Dr. Price. We just had a lengthy call with your team at Dartmouth, I have to say, they all took a liking to you, I’d say you have a pretty big team of fans up there.” Dr. Bailey tells us but is interrupted once again by Julia.

  “Is Lanie alright? You’re killing me here, doc!” As I said, patience is not a strong suit for Jules.

  Laughing, Dr. Bailey answers Julia’s rude outburst, “Yes, Julia, I think your Lanie is going to be just fine. As I was saying, this is Dr. Price, he is our resident reproductive specialist.”

  “Hi, Lanie,” he greets her kindly, shaking our hands.

  Lanie has been so quiet through this entire thing. I’m not sure if it’s nausea or fear, but I reach for her hand and squeeze anyway.

  “I just want to take a quick look around with an ultrasound, is that alright with you?”

  “Yes,” she says skeptically, “are you sure everything is alright?”

  “I believe so, just let me have a minute so I can get a feel for what kind of internal damage you have.” Lanie nods her head, but I am so confused.

  “Why do you need to check her internal damage for the flu? Is this something we should be worried about?” I ask him, sweat dotting my brow. I only just got Lanie, I can’t lose her now.

  “Are you the husband?” Dr. Price asks.

  “Boyfriend,” I reply.

  Putting his gloves on, he tells me, “I think after I look, I’ll be able to answer all of your questions. Just give me a few minutes.”

  He drops a big glob of blue goo onto Lanie’s stomach, I immediately have flashbacks to doing this with Anna, what a different feeling it was with her.

  “Okay, let's get my bearings…and ri-ight here I think,” he doesn’t get to finish.

  I’ve seen that before, then he twists the angle of the ultrasound wand, and my vision goes blurry.

  “Holy shit,” I say.

  Julia starts screeching in the background. “What, what is wrong? Dexter, answer me, damn it.”

  Lanie is silent, she doesn’t know what I just saw. The doctor looks up to her and smiles. “Lanie, congratulations. You’re pregnant, with twins.”

  My world does go black then. Luckily, I was sitting against a wall because I came to with a nurse scowling at me, waving a smelling salt stick in front of my face.”

  “I swear, in this day and age, you would think you men would have learned to com
pose yourselves.” I immediately sit up straighter, staring at Lanie, who is white as a ghost.

  “But-but the doctor’s told me the chances of pregnancy were so small there wasn’t even a point in putting a number to it, this can’t be right,” she says, but I’ve seen those blips three times before, they don’t lie.

  “Having seen your initial reports after the attack, Lanie, I would have agreed with your Dartmouth team, I don’t think they gave you false information there. These really are miracle babies. There is no medical evidence as to why they should have been able to implant, but they did.”

  Hardly able to hear the doctor, I finally come to my senses. Placing the screeching Julia on mute, waving the nurse away, I climb into the bed next to Lanie, balancing so I don’t fall off the edge. I need to be close to her.

  Clearing his throat, unhappy it seems with our new seating arrangements, he begins talking to Lanie again. “Now, Lanie, I have to be honest, this is going to be a high-risk pregnancy due to the internal damage and scarring that you have. However, after reviewing all of your records and seeing for myself, I don’t see any reason that you won’t be able to carry the babies close to full term. That also means you will have to adhere to all our guidelines correctly and commit one-hundred percent to bed-rest when the time comes. Unfortunately for you, bedrest will arrive much earlier than it would have under normal circumstances. I know this is a lot to process, but I want to let you know, I am happy to be your doctor if you are comfortable, I’ll get you through this pregnancy.”

  Dr. Bailey speaks next, “Lanie, Dr. Price is one of the top doctors in this field. I firmly believe in sticking with him to offer you the best chance at a happy, healthy pregnancy, resulting in two healthy babies. Of course, you are welcome to get second opinions or go to another practice if you are more comfortable,”

  Lanie and I cut her off at the same time, so I tell Lanie to go first.

  “I-I think we would like to stay with Dr. Price, right?” She says, looking at me.

  “Absolutely,” I reply, kissing her forehead because I need to connect to her. Internally, I am so happy I could burst. Externally, I curb my reaction, unsure of how Lanie feels about all of this yet.