A Very Special Child

by Jennifer Taylor

  ‘Wine has become rather a hobby with Dad since he retired. He and Mum go off on regular jaunts to France, sampling the offerings of different vineyards. When they find a wine they particularly like they buy a couple of cases and bring it back home.’ Mark laughed softly as he settled back on the sofa. ’emma and I are only too happy to sample the fruits of their travels, too.’

  ’emma?’ she asked before she could stop herself. She felt a little colour touch her cheeks as it hit her that Emma might be the name of his girlfriend. That thought led her on to another, equally unpalatable one—had Mark found her concerns about staying in his flat odd in view of the fact that he had a girlfriend? Maybe he believed that she knew all about this Emma. After all, gossip was rife in any hospital and it was rare that anyone could keep their private life private. The thought that she might have misread the situation—and that he might have realised it—filled her with mortification so that she missed what he said.

  ‘Sorry. What was that?’ she asked miserably when she became aware of the silence.

  ‘I was just saying that Em tends to wheedle more booze out of Dad than I do. She plays shamelessly on the fact that not only is she an impoverished medical student but the apple of his eye.’ Mark grinned. ‘Mind you, she knew how to twist the poor man round her little finger from the time she was in nappies. Mum always says that Dad took one look at Em when she was born and that was it—love at first sight!’

  ’emma’s your sister?’ She couldn’t keep the surprise from her voice and she saw him go quite still before he slowly put his glass on the table.

  ‘Yes. She’s twenty-two, ten years younger than me. Mum calls Emma her happy little accident as they weren’t planning on having another child when she came along.’ He took a deep breath but his voice seemed to grate. ‘Who did you think she was?’

  ‘Your…your girlfriend,’ she admitted in a tone which was barely above a whisper. She took a deep breath but it was impossible to control the feeling of relief that flooded through her.

  ‘I see.’ He shrugged but there was the oddest light in his eyes as he studied her flushed face. ‘I don’t have a girlfriend, Laura. I would have told you if I had.’

  It was said so calmly but she understood what he was telling her. He wanted her to know that he wasn’t emotionally tied to anyone. She should have realised that. Mark wasn’t the sort of man who would cause a woman unhappiness by stringing her along.

  It was difficult to hide the sudden elation she felt. Maybe it was wrong to feel this way but she couldn’t help it. Mark wasn’t involved with anyone and it felt so good to know that. Maybe it was the sense of euphoria which gave her an unaccustomed courage to find out more.

  ‘Is that out of choice or circumstance?’ she asked quietly.

  ‘A bit of both, I suppose.’ He smiled when he saw her frown. ‘Sorry, that was rather an ambiguous answer, although it wasn’t really meant to be.’ He lifted his glass to his mouth and took a sip of wine before continuing. ‘I’ve had girlfriends in the past, naturally. And one long-term relationship that ended not long before I moved to this part of the world.’

  ‘Oh?’ She didn’t realise that it had sounded like a question until he began to answer. Her cheeks warmed as she realised how rude it was to cross-question him. However, Mark didn’t seem at all perturbed as he continued in the same easy manner.

  ‘Mmm. Ruth and I met when we were overseas. We kept in touch when we came back to England and, as luck would have it, both found jobs in Colchester.’ He shrugged lightly. ‘We lived together for a couple of years and might even have got married if we hadn’t both realised that we were doing it for all the wrong reasons.’

  ‘The wrong reasons…?’ She trailed off uncertainly, her brow puckering as Mark gave a rueful smile.

  ‘Uh-huh. We felt so comfortable with one another, you see. I think that was the main attraction that held us together. We’d seen so many awful things through our work that it was a sort of bond. However, I think we both gradually realised that, although we were fond of one another, it wasn’t enough. For a marriage to work it has to be based on love, nothing less.’

  Laura couldn’t think of anything to say. Mark didn’t sound at all distressed about the ending of his relationship, and she was afraid that her relief would show. The thought of him pining for this other woman would have been almost too much to bear, although she shied away from wondering why.

  ‘So now that I’ve told you a bit about myself, how about you? Do you have any family, for instance—brothers, sisters, aunts, even cousins twenty times removed?’ He turned the question into a joke and she laughed, grateful not to have to dig too deeply into her own muddled feelings.

  ‘Nobody, I’m afraid. I’m the only child of only children and my parents died when I was in my teens. I believe there are a few distant cousins somewhere about but as I’ve never met them they don’t really count.’

  ‘I see. How about your husband’s family, then?’ Mark continued curiously.

  ‘Exactly the same situation as mine.’ She laughed softly. ‘Ian used to say that we were two orphans together.’

  ‘It must have brought you even closer and made it very hard when he died,’ he observed quietly.

  ‘I suppose it did. I was eighteen when I met Ian. I had just started training and was working in A and E at the Royal when he was brought in with a badly sprained ankle from playing football.’ She smiled reminiscently. ‘He never stopped chattering the whole time I was trying to strap his ankle up. He confessed later that he was terrified of hospitals and that he’d had to keep on talking to take his mind off being there!’

  Mark laughed at that. ‘Well, that answers what would have been my next question, i.e., what did he do? Obviously nothing medical?’

  ‘No way! He was in electronics, an engineer. Very good at his job, too. He’d just been promoted when…when he was killed.’

  Her voice broke and she looked away in embarrassment. It wasn’t as though it had happened all that recently. Ian had been dead almost two years, yet telling Mark about it seemed to have brought all the pain back. She didn’t know whether or not to answer when he probed a bit more.

  ‘Was it an accident? He couldn’t have been very old.’

  ‘Twen-twenty-nine. It was a car crash. Ian was…he was…killed when a lorry ran out of control on a motorway slip road. It crashed into his car as he was driving past the junction. He…he didn’t stand a chance…’

  She couldn’t continue as a sob welled from her lips. She pressed a hand to her mouth but more kept coming. It was as though a dam had burst and all the grief she’d stored up suddenly spilled over.

  Mark was on his feet in a trice, drawing her up so that he could wrap her in his arms. He rocked her gently from side to side, his hand soothing as he smoothed her ruffled curls. ‘Let it all out, sweetheart. It will do you good to cry. Ian was too young to die and you have a right to feel bitter and hurt at the waste of his life.’

  Laura never knew afterwards how long they stood there, Mark rocking her to and fro, holding her while she sobbed out all the bottled up grief. When it was over she felt completely spent. Her mind and body were numb yet somehow freed from the weight of misery which had burdened her for so long.

  ‘Here you go.’

  Mark put her away from him as he handed her a clean white handkerchief. Laura blew her nose then summoned a wobbly smile.

  ‘Sorry about that. I didn’t mean to go to pieces on you.’

  ‘It’s way past time you let it all out. I’d guess that you’ve been trying to put on a brave face for Robbie’s sake, but everyone needs time to grieve, Laura.’ His eyes were like smoke, soft grey and shimmering, as they studied her tear-drenched face. ‘You need time to heal before you can move on.’

  She knew what he meant, of course. That she had to work through her pain over Ian’s death before she could look to the future. Did Mark hope that future would include him?

  Laura sensed it was so but there were too man
y other things to take into consideration, like his longing for a family, and Robbie.…

  She took a deep breath, unable to cope with any more soul-searching.

  ‘I think I’ll go to bed now if you don’t mind,’ she told him quietly, avoiding his eyes. She was simply too vulnerable right then to run the risk of making a mistake they could both come to regret.

  ‘Of course not. You must make yourself at home while you’re here, Laura. I’m on duty this weekend so I don’t expect I’ll see you until tomorrow night. Have a good day, both of you.’

  Mark bent and kissed her cheek. Maybe it was meant to be just a token but Laura felt her heart race like crazy as she felt the warm touch of his lips on her skin.

  She hurried from the room and undressed then crept into bed beside Robbie, praying for the oblivion of sleep. Everything would look different in the morning, she assured herself as she rolled onto her stomach. She would have had time to work through what had happened and find a balance.

  Laura closed her eyes, deliberately conjuring up a picture of Ian, as she so often did when times became particularly hard. However, it was impossible to picture him that night. His face seemed to float just out of sight, beyond her reach.…

  She bit her lip as another face imprinted itself on her mind, a strong face with its angular lines and clear-cut features. It was so easy to conjure up the image of Mark Dawson, easier still to dream about him…

  ‘I’ll feel better being back at work. I won’t have as much time to brood.’

  It was Monday morning and Laura had arrived on the ward to find that Rachel had come back to work. It had been a funny kind of weekend and not at all how she’d imagined it would be.

  For a start she hadn’t seen Mark at all. He’d telephoned late on Saturday evening to let her know that he was stuck at work because there had been an emergency admission sent up from Casualty. After that, he’d informed her, he was driving straight to his parents’ house as he’d forgotten that it was his mother’s birthday the following day and he would be in the dog-house if he didn’t turn up!

  Laura had laughed dutifully, but as she’d hung up she’d found herself wondering if it had been an excuse to avoid returning to the flat. Had Mark felt it better that he absent himself while she was there to avoid any awkward moments? Maybe he thought that she would prefer it if he weren’t around? However, the thought that she might be responsible for chasing him from his own home made her feel guiltier than ever. She had made up her mind that she would move back home just as soon as it was feasible.

  ‘So, how have things been? You’ve settled in OK, I hope.’

  Laura returned her thoughts to where they should have been in the first place—on her work. She smiled as she answered Rachel’s question. ‘I have. I know it’s a bit early to say, but I think I’m going to enjoy Children’s Med as much as Maternity.’

  ‘Great! It must have been a bit of a wrench, deciding not to go back there, but this is another string to your bow.’ Rachel shrugged. ‘I’m only sorry that the post isn’t graded at a staff nurse’s level. I know it’s been a bit of a step down for you, Laura, but the board wouldn’t agree to it.’

  ‘That doesn’t matter so much as the fact that I can work set hours. Shift work would be impossible in my case, with Robbie to take care of.’

  She sighed. ‘Not many childminders will accept responsibility for children with handicaps, which is why I’m so grateful that Claire offered to help. She’s been marvellous, looking after Robbie while I did that refresher course and collecting him from school each day. I couldn’t have got this far without her. Anyway, you don’t need a staff nurse. You have one already.’

  ‘Hmm. Enough said on that subject, I think.’ Rachel pursed her lips as she looked down the ward. Cathy was supervising the morning drugs round and was standing beside Bethany’s bed. Her impatience with the teenager was obvious even from where they stood, and Laura held back a sigh. Couldn’t Cathy tell that she was simply getting the girl’s back up by behaving in such an authoritarian manner?

  Rachel was evidently of the same opinion because she excused herself and went to her niece’s bed. There was a brief exchange of words before Cathy came storming back to the office. She glowered as she saw Laura there.

  ‘Nothing to do? Or are you telling tales to try and get Rachel on your side?’ She gave an ugly laugh. ‘It will take more than a bit of boot-licking to convince me that you’re fit to do this job! And if Fiona Watts asks for my opinion, I shall give it to her.’

  The malice in the younger woman’s voice shocked Laura. ‘What have you got against me, Cathy?’

  ‘Nothing, apart from the fact that I know what your game is, making sheep’s eyes at Mark the way you’ve been doing.’ Cathy smiled thinly. ‘It can’t be easy being a widow, especially not with a Down’s syndrome kid in tow. Most men would run a mile to avoid getting involved. But Mark isn’t like that, as you discovered pretty quickly. He’s too nice for his own good, quite frankly. But if you imagine I’m going to let you take advantage of his kindness to get yourself a free meal ticket then—’

  ‘Morning, folks. How are we today?’

  Laura swung round at the sound of the friendly greeting. Had Mark overheard what Cathy had said? she wondered sickly. There was no sign of anything on his face but maybe he’d decided to play the innocent on purpose to spare her any embarrassment. Or maybe he was glad that Cathy had said what he hadn’t liked to say?

  It was that last thought that leached all the colour from her face, and she saw Mark frown. However, before he could say anything she quickly excused herself and hurried into the ward. Katie was sitting on the edge of her bed, carefully combing the tangles out of her doll’s hair, and she smiled in delight when she saw Laura.

  ‘Laura, I missed you!’ Discarding the doll, Katie jumped up and hugged her, her thin little arms twining tightly around Laura’s waist. ‘I asked one of the other nurses but she said that you didn’t work on Saturdays and Sundays,’ she added accusingly.

  ‘I’m afraid not. I have a little boy, you see, Katie, and I have to look after him then.’

  Laura sat on the edge of the bed and popped the child on her knee, feeling her heart aching as Katie snuggled closer. It was obvious that the little girl was starved of affection, and it broke her heart to think about the life Katie led with her mother.

  Deliberately blocking out all thought of what had happened a few minutes earlier, she concentrated on cheering up the little girl. ‘So tell me what you did this weekend while I wasn’t here. Did you eat all your dinners up?’

  ‘Uh-huh…apart from the sprouts,’ Katie mumbled. ‘I hate them!’

  Laura laughed. Out of the corner of her eye she spotted Mark making his way down the ward, and deliberately turned so that he was no longer in her line of sight. ‘Most children do! Anyway, what else did you do? Play some games? Watch television? Colouring?’

  Katie nodded to each question, although she didn’t elaborate. Laura sighed, knowing how hard it must have been for the child to spend the whole weekend without any visitors coming to see her. Weekends were hectic on any ward as people had time off from work then to visit their friends and relatives, and children’s wards were no exception. She was just wondering how much progress the police had made with their enquiries as to the whereabouts of Katie’s parents when Mark interrupted.

  ‘Good morning, Katie. How are you feeling today?’ He sat on the edge of the bed and Laura flinched as the mattress dipped, bringing his hard thigh into contact with hers.

  A wave of heat flowed through her from the point of contact and she surreptitiously edged away, somewhat hampered by the fact that the little girl was still cuddled up on her knee.

  ‘All right.’ Katie gave him a shy smile before she buried her face against Laura’s bosom once more. Mark’s brows rose questioningly and Laura summoned a smile even though her heart felt like a leaden weight.

  Even if it hadn’t crossed Mark’s mind before that she might be abu
sing his kindness, there was a good chance that he might start thinking that way now if he’d overheard Cathy’s comments. The thought that he might imagine she was using him was more than she could bear, but she couldn’t discuss it with him at that moment.

  ‘Katie needed a cuddle,’ she explained. ‘It’s been a long weekend.’

  He nodded, instantly understanding. ‘I imagine it has.’ He took a deep breath and his eyes were very dark when he looked at her. ‘It’s been a long one for me as well, Laura. Katie isn’t the only one who missed you.’

  He stood up, smiling at the little girl as though he hadn’t heard Laura’s shocked gasp. ‘There’s a treat in store for everyone this afternoon, poppet. I won’t tell you what it is because it’s a surprise. But I know for a fact that you will enjoy it.’

  ‘A surprise?’ Katie stared at him with huge, excited, blue eyes, her melancholy forgotten. ‘What kind of surprise, Dr Mark?’

  Mark laughed as he ran a gentle hand over her hair. Laura’s breath caught as she felt his knuckles skim the tip of her left breast. It was yet another assault on her senses, which were already raw from that confession. When she heard his sharp intake of breath she knew that he’d suddenly realised what he’d done.

  His hand lingered for what could have been no more than a single heartbeat, although it felt much longer than that, before it fell to his side. Laura felt her pulse race as she heard the grating note in his deep voice. ‘If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise, would it? You’ll have to wait and see, young lady!’

  He moved away without looking at Laura again. She understood why. Both of them were simply too aware of one another to risk even eye contact at that moment!

  Her head whirled as she replied to Katie’s excited questions as best she could, but it was hard to ignore what had happened or to put it into perspective. Where Mark was concerned ‘perspective’ was a word she might be able to spell, but that was all!

  CHAPTER TEN