Some nights, I dream about this. About him holding me and kissing me and being his.
“I heard something today, but I’m not sure I should tell you.”
I blink my eyes open at that. “We don’t keep secrets, so spit it out.”
“That douche Adam is going to ask you out.”
“Really?” I’m surprised because all the douche does is tease me mercilessly.
Dev frowns. “You’re not going to say yes, are you?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. Maybe.” Absolutely not, but I’m curious to see how Devin reacts.
His frown deepens. “Why would you go out with him? I thought you didn’t like him.”
I chew on my lip. “I don’t, not really, but some of the other girls are teasing me because I’ve never kissed a boy, so maybe I should go out with Adam, get it over and done with, and then they’ll back off.”
Devin stiffens underneath me. “That’s a stupid reason to go out with him, and I’m not letting you. I don’t trust him not to hurt you.”
“It’s not up to you.”
Silence descends, and it’s not the comfortable type.
“What if I kissed you?” he whispers, and my cheeks heat again.
“What?” I sit up a bit straighter, looking into his eyes.
“Just so you can get it over with and you won’t have to date the douche then.”
My face drops, along with my heart. “Thanks, but I don’t want to force you to do something you don’t want to do.”
He frowns, and his eyes drop to my mouth. “Who says I don’t want to kiss you?”
My brows climb to my hairline. “You do?”
His lips curve into a cheeky smile. “It’s not like it’d be a chore. You’re hot, Ange, and you’re my best friend. And your first kiss should be with someone who cares about you, and someone you care about, and we care about each other, right?”
I frown, nodding, confused over whether this is a pity offer or not. I want to kiss him, but only if he wants to kiss me. I don’t want charity. Before I can raise more objections, he tilts my chin up with his finger. “Let’s stop talking, and just do this.” His eyes probe mine for permission. The butterflies in my chest are going crazy, and my heart’s beating so, so fast. My mouth feels dry as I nod.
He keeps his eyes locked on mine as he lowers his head and kisses me. I close my eyes, wanting to fully absorb the rush of sensation sweeping over me. My lips move shyly against his, and he wraps his arms around my back, holding me close as he continues kissing me. Fireworks are exploding inside me, and I love the feel of his lips caressing mine. I don’t want him to stop.
“What the hell?” Ayden asks in a gruff tone, startling us, and we break apart. My cheeks are roaring red as I cast a quick glance at Devin. His eyes bore into mine, as if he can see straight through to my soul, and he isn’t disguising the look of adoration on his face. My heart soars as I turn to face the music.
“Penny for them?” Ayden asks, catapulting me out of the past. He’s lounging against the doorframe to the kitchen and watching me with an amused grin. I jump at the same time the toast pops in the toaster.
“Oh my God. Don’t creep up on me like that. My heart almost gave out.”
“You need to be more observant, Lina.” He strides toward me, tugging on the ends of my ponytail. “I could’ve been a mass murderer, and you’d still be there staring off dreamily into space.”
My cheeks flare up at his words, and he sends me a strange look. “What were you daydreaming about anyway?”
“Nothing important.” The lie flies out of my mouth. Admitting to Ayden that I was reliving the moment of my first kiss with Devin would not go down well, considering the current situation. And the fact he wasn’t pleased with the discovery his first time around. “Want some?” I hold up a piece of toast as a peace offering–slash–diversion tactic.
Mariah always says if you want to distract a man, offer them food or sex, and since the latter is off the table, food it is.
And Ayden is like a lamb to the slaughter. “Hell yeah.” His belly rumbles, as if on cue.
“Didn’t you eat?”
“Of course, I did.” He snatches a piece of toast, slathering it in raspberry jelly. “But I’m always hungry. You know that.” He yanks on my ponytail again, and I nudge him aside with my hip.
“You must cost your mom a fortune in groceries.”
“I do, but she loves me.” He wiggles his brows, taking a massive bite of toast.
“Doesn’t everyone,” I tease, but it’s the truth. Ayden can do no wrong in most people’s eyes. He’s an all-round good guy who works hard at school and football and doesn’t cause his parents any trouble. He’s like the anti-stereotypical jock. He’s popular, and every kid in school knows his name, but he doesn’t party hard, and he hasn’t screwed his way through the cheerleading squad like most of his teammates. He keeps his head down and his nose clean.
He shrugs nonchalantly.
“And so modest, too!” I singsong as I skip out of the kitchen and up to the bathroom.
Ten minutes later, I’m tucked up in my coat in the toasty cab of Ayden’s brand spanking new Jeep. His parents surprised him with it a couple months back when he got confirmation of his football scholarship to UI, and now he insists on driving me everywhere, when he can.
See what I mean? All-round nice guy.
It’s also the reason why most of the senior class thinks we’re dating. That and the fact he hasn’t hooked up with anyone since summer break.
“Great,” I groan, as Ayden pulls into a vacant parking space at school and I spot Becky Carmichael holding court outside the entrance. “My week is off to a stellar start.” He follows my gaze out the window.
“Ignore her.”
“I try, but she makes it so difficult sometimes. She loves testing my patience to the limit.”
“She’s just jealous.”
I splutter. “As if!”
Becky is head of the cheerleading squad, and she’s got a trophy case full of awards from all the beauty pageants she won as a kid. She is always immaculately dressed, sporting the latest trends, and primped to within an inch of her life. I figure she must be up at the crack of dawn each day to look so perfectly groomed. Me? I roll out of bed at the last possible moment, having hit that snooze button at least five times. My beauty routine consists of brushing my teeth and quickly dragging a comb through my hair. Skinny jeans, shirts, blouses, and my well-worn Converse is my usual attire.
“Why do you always put yourself down?” he asks. “I hate that.”
“I’m not putting myself down. I’m just rejecting your assumption that Becky’s jealous of me. There isn’t anything I have that she is jealous of. Well, besides being besties with you and Devin, but I know it’s more than that.”
“You are like a breath of fresh air, Lina. Don’t ever change.” He kisses me on the forehead, and we both climb out of the Jeep at the same time. We walk together, his arm around my shoulders as usual. Becky scowls as we pass, but I pretend not to notice. It drives her bat-shit crazy when I act like she doesn’t exist, and it’s the most effective weapon in my arsenal.
Ayden waits with me while I extract what I need from my locker, and then he walks me to class. It’s the same routine every day. “Have a good one, babe.” He presses a kiss to my cheek.
“You too.” I curl my fingers around the door handle.
“Oh, and Lina?” I glance over my shoulder at him. “She’s jealous of you because you are effortlessly beautiful and the sweetest, nicest girl on the planet. No matter how hard she tries, she can’t live up to that.”
My mouth hangs open as he blows me a kiss and saunters off, grinning and whistling under his breath.
The morning snails by and it feels like forever until lunchtime rolls around. Mariah waves from her seat as I enter the
cafeteria. I load my plate with pasta and chicken, grab a bread roll, some fruit, and juice, and head in her direction. I plop down beside her, across from Gabrielle and Madisyn. They all stare at my tray, and I grin. “What? I’m hungry. And I’m not on shift or at ballet practice today.”
“You’re so lucky. I think I’ve put on five pounds just looking at your plate,” Madisyn says, sighing enviously as she tucks strands of her dark blonde hair behind her ears. Madisyn is gorgeous with generous curves in all the right places. Guys practically salivate behind her back, but she suffers from major self-esteem issues. She hates that she’s taller, broader, and curvier than the average girl, and she’s constantly on some diet or other.
“Aren’t you worried it’s all going to catch up with you when you’re older and you’ll blow up like Mrs. White?” Gabi asks, picking at her chicken salad. Mrs. White won the Miss USA title when she was nineteen, and she returned home a bona-fide celebrity. Then she got pregnant, married the guy, popped out a few more kids, and her weight ballooned. She became a virtual pariah overnight, which is damn ridiculous. All because she stacked on the pounds, and who the hell’s business is it but hers anyway? I can’t stand narrowminded prejudicial people, and this town seems to have more than its fair share of bigots. Every time I’m reminded of that story, it strengthens my resolve to leave small-town living in the dust. I like the idea of being a small fish in a very big pond and having more privacy. Although, Mason City isn’t a total hick town, and it’s not like everyone knows who I am, it’s still far too nosy for my liking. The idea of big city living appeals to me. Hugely.
“Nope,” I answer truthfully. “Why waste time worrying over something that might never happen?”
Madisyn and Mariah grin, and Gabrielle just rolls her eyes. I stab my pasta with my fork, shoveling it in my mouth and moaning purely for show. Gabi throws a piece of tomato at me, and I angle my head, catching it in my mouth.
“Now that’s skill,” Ayden says, plopping down beside me with a grin.
Gabrielle sits up straighter in her chair, thrusting her chest out. She has the biggest crush on Ayden, but it isn’t reciprocated. Not that she lets it get to her too much. If Madisyn lacks self-confidence, Gabi has it in spades. It’s funny watching their interactions though. Ayden doesn’t quite know what to make of her, and half the time I think he’s genuinely scared of her.
“What’s up, loser?” I nudge him in the ribs. “Why are you deeming to grace us with your presence?” Ayden usually sits with the football team, although he has been known to make exceptions for me on occasions.
“I don’t need an excuse to sit with my best girl.” He winks at me, before wolfing his pasta, which is about triple the size of mine.
“Oh, there’s Devin,” Madisyn pipes up, waving in his direction. Mariah is the only one of my friends who knows the deal with the guys. In school, both Ayden and Devin have been at pains to hide their growing animosity.
But I guess that’s evolving.
Devin takes one look at Ayden and does a U-turn, heading to one of the bigger tables where a few guys he hangs with are sitting with some of the cheerleaders, Becky included. I watch as he sits down beside Will, across from my archnemesis. Becky leans across the table, batting her eyelashes and pouting prettily at Devin. He says something to her, and her entire face lights up.
Mariah subtly kicks my leg under the table, and I whirl around. Ayden is watching me with a wary look on his face. I only pick at the rest of my lunch, miserable at the thought of Becky flirting with Devin across the way.
“Want to come back to my place?” Mariah asks at the end of the school day as we walk outside. My eyes quickly scan the parking lot, cursing when I fail to spot Devin’s truck. “We can study for the calculus test together.”
“Sure, but could we go to my house? I want to see Mom before she leaves for work.” I shift my heavy book bag from one shoulder to the other. “And I want to drop by the gas station to talk to Devin before his shift starts if that’s okay?”
“No sweat. I’m cool with that.”
I drop my bag on the back seat of Mariah’s car and send a quick text to Ayden. He waves at us as we drive by.
I turn up the radio, and we both sing along to our hearts’ content. Mariah taps a beat off the steering wheel, and we grin goofishly at one another.
My good mood evaporates the second she swings the car into the gas station where Devin works. Devin is leaning back against the side of his truck, and Becky Carmichael is pressed up against him, her hands tracing circles on his chest.
A nasty taste floods my mouth, and a bout of jealousy swiftly kicks me in my lady parts. Disappointment, anger, and hurt race through me, and I’m hopping out of the car, striding toward them, before I’ve consciously processed the movement.
CHAPTER SIX
My fists are clenched in rigid knots at my side as I quicken my pace. Devin notices me first, and he removes Becky’s hands from his chest and slides sideways. “Hey, Ange.” His smile is guarded, because he knows me too well. He understands I’m about three seconds away from personal nuclear detonation.
Becky purses her lips and sends me a smug smile. I want to pummel her into next week. The thought should shock me, but it doesn’t. She has pushed me to breaking point, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep her away from Devin. Even the thought of him and her hooking up makes my skin crawl and my heart rip into smithereens. “Mason City’s very own Virgin Mary, in the flesh,” she drawls, returning to Devin’s side. “You’re interrupting. Now run along and do whatever it is girls like you do.”
I plant my hands on my hips and glare at her. “Girls like me?”
“Sweet but boring. Haven’t you figured it out yet, Ange?” She enunciates Devin’s nickname for me in a derogatory tone. “Guys don’t want sweet and boring. They want girls who put out and know how to have a good time. Why do you think no one asks you out? They know it’s a waste of their time.” Her words poke new holes in my tender heart. “So, shoo, run along now and play Barbies or whatever you and Mary Sue over there have lined up.”
Devin slings his arm over my shoulder, hoisting me into his side. Turning the full extent of his wrath on Becky, he narrows his eyes and glares at her. The smile drops off her face, and she visibly shrinks. “If anyone’s leaving, it’s your skanky ass.” His voice is low and menacing, and emotion clogs my throat. “If I ever hear you speaking to Ange like that again, I won’t be responsible for my actions. No one speaks to her like that. No one!” he snarls, and she jerks back as if he’s slapped her. “Get the fuck out of my face, and stay the hell away from me. I’m not interested, and I never will be.”
Pushing her discomfort aside, she plants her game face on, smiling seductively at him. “Come on now, Dev, don’t be like that. She knows I’m just kidding.”
“No, you weren’t,” I grit out. “And you heard him, get lost.”
“You’ll come crawling to me, Devin, begging for it, and I’ll remind you of this conversation.” She backs up with a smug look on her face. There isn’t much I admire about Becky, but her supreme self-confidence is something else.
“I hope you have an endless supply of patience,” Dev retorts. “Because hell will freeze before that day comes.”
She blows him a kiss, and I growl under my breath. “Oh, I can be patient for you. One hundred percent. You’re worth it.” Her mouth pulls into a sneer as she sends me one final contemptuous look. “Later, gorgeous.” She blows him another kiss before jumping in her car and tearing off with a squeal of tires, leaving a cloud of smoke trailing in her wake.
“I hate her.” The words fly out of my mouth, fueled by the anger still pumping through my veins.
“I thought you didn’t waste any energy on hate?” He spins me around, loosely wrapping his arms around my waist.
“I’ve changed my mind.”
He kisses the end of my nose. “Don’t
change for anyone, least of all her.”
“Why did she have her hands all over you?”
“She caught me off guard is all.”
I harrumph, mumbling under my breath. Who lets people manhandle them without knowing? Devin smiles. “Don’t tell me you’re actually jealous of Becky Carmichael because that would be a travesty.”
“I’m not jealous,” I lie. “I’m sick of her taunts and her pranks and her constant attempts to annoy me. I just want her to leave me the hell alone.”
His smile fades. “She’s still tormenting you? I’ll put a stop to it.”
“No, you won’t. That’ll only make things worse. I can fight my own battles.” More so, I want him nowhere near that manipulative bitch. I might despise her, but I can’t deny she’s stunning and she knows how to have guys eating out of her hand. And contrary to popular opinion, I’m not naïve. Devin is a red-blooded male who likes sex. Becky is gorgeous and sexy and experienced in all the ways I’m not. Yes, she’s a bitch and everyone knows it, but she has no shortage of guys drooling over her. I don’t want Devin falling prey to her charms. The other girls are bad enough, but it he hooked up with Becky, I don’t think I could ever forgive him.
“You know what she said was bull, right?” He searches my eyes. I shrug, and he grips my chin. “Hey, she’s full of shit. Guys don’t ask you out because they know Ayden and I will kick their ass if they don’t treat you with respect, and most of them are too afraid you’ll reject them.”
I laugh. “Come on, Dev, don’t be ridiculous.” It’s a version of what Mom said, but I didn’t believe her either.
His lips curve up, and his eyes twinkle as he blinds me with a dazzling smile. I kinda zone out of it. “You’re fucking gorgeous, Ange, although I’m not surprised you don’t realize it. And you are the least boring person I know. Becky is mean and spiteful and jealous. That’s why she picks on you so much. She hears the way the guys talk with reverence about you, and it annoys the crap out of her, but don’t let her get to you, and don’t let her change you. She’s not worth it. You’re one of a kind, and you shouldn’t ever change because you’re absolutely perfect exactly the way you are.”
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