I left the gas station high on his words. I wanted to kiss him so badly in that moment, but I had to remind myself he was just being a good friend. Any anger I’d felt over the scene I encountered when we’d pulled up flittered away. I floated on a cloud for the rest of the week, and the week after, buoyed up by Devin’s defense. Becky steered clear of me too, which was a plus, although she and her minions didn’t miss any chance to shoot daggers my direction whenever we crossed paths. But nothing could deflect my good mood. Not even the fact I haven’t spoken to Devin since that day, apart from brief passing words in the corridor at school.
Lucas eats dinner with us every night now. Mom mentioned how Devin had dropped by explaining he had taken on more shifts at the gas station and he was worried about Lucas being by himself so much.
I love having Lucas around. He looks so much like Devin did at fourteen. He has the same lustrous inky-black hair and the same piercing green eyes, but he lacks that intensity that is pure Devin. Lucas has a more relaxed, softer expression, and he’s less brooding than his older brother. On nights when I’m at home, he tends to eat dinner and finish his homework here, and then we watch some TV before he returns to his house. I like having him here, especially on nights when Ayden has late practice. Otherwise, I’d be climbing the walls by myself. I know Mom needs her job at the hospital, and that it pays well, but the house is so empty and lonely when it’s just me here.
It’s Friday night, and the diner is dead as a doornail, so Lucille let me off early. Mariah is at the movies with Cody so I’m at a loose end. I was going to invite Devin to come over and watch a movie with me, but his truck is missing from the driveway, so I guess he’s still at work or off partying somewhere. Ayden is celebrating with the football team, after their earlier victory. I caught the first half of the game before I had to leave for my shift, and they were hammering the opposition, so I’m not surprised they came out on top. He’d texted me after with the score, begging me to come join the party, but I’m not in the mood.
Lucas is sitting on his porch when I get out of my car. “Hey.” I wave to him, and he waves back, smiling. I lean over the fence. “You wanna watch a movie with me?” His eyes light up momentarily, but then he casts a nervous glance over his shoulder. “It’s okay if you already have plans,” I assure him.
“No, no, that’s not it.” He stands up, brushing bits of debris off the back of his jeans. “It’s just …” He kneads the back of his neck, and his forehead crinkles. “Dad’s home.”
I arch a brow. Mr. Morgan being home before midnight on a Friday night is not a regular occurrence. Maybe Lucas just wants to hang with his dad. “No sweat. I’ll leave the door unlocked for you. Come over or don’t. It’s totally your call.”
He chews on the corner of his lip. “I want to, but Devin wouldn’t like Dad knowing I’m in your house.” He jumps over the steps, landing steadily on the lawn. “I just won’t tell him. He probably won’t miss me anyway.”
I say nothing until we’re both in the house. “Why wouldn’t Dev want your dad to know you’re here?”
Lucas scrunches up his nose, shrugging. “You’ll have to ask him.”
Strange.
I make popcorn and grab some cookies and sodas and head into the living room. “You want to watch the next episode of Gossip Girl, or did you have a movie in mind?” Lucas asks, as I place the food on the coffee table.
When the series first aired, five years ago, I was too young and too much of a tomboy to care, even if everyone was raving about it. Now that it’s coming to an end, there’s renewed interest in it, so I decided it was time to check it out. Lucas was a willing partner in crime, and we were both hooked from episode one, and now it’s our shared guilty pleasure. I’m addicted, so it takes zero persuasion to convince me. “Nope, that’s good. I’m in need of a Dan fix.” No surprises I’m swooning over intense, misunderstood outsider Dan instead of golden boy Nate.
We settle on the couch, beside one another, and I toe off my shoes, tucking my feet underneath me. We’re both riveted, and apart from the occasional gasp or expletive, we don’t say a word until it’s over.
“I think you have a little drool there,” Lucas teases, pretending to wipe the corner of my mouth.
“Very funny. And don’t think I didn’t notice you swooning over Serena.”
“She’s hot. I’d do her.” He winks, and I laugh. Chip off the old block. He twists around on the couch so he’s facing me, and there’s a mischievous glint in his eye. “If you could do anyone in the whole world, you have your choice of dudes, who would you pick?”
Your brother. The thought forms instantly, but it’s not like I can admit that. “Penn Badgley, duh!” I reply, stating the obvious choice. I have just spent the last forty-five minutes ogling the fictional character he portrays.
“Liar.” Lucas’s lips twitch.
I shove him playfully. “No, I’m not.” Yes, I am.
He leans in, and his voice turns low. “I know who you’d really pick, but you’re too afraid to say it out loud.” My skin feels hot and my cheeks are burning. He leans in even closer, and his face is only a hairsbreadth from mine. “You can tell me. I won’t tell him.” Crap! He knows? Have I been that obvious? He twirls a lock of my hair around his finger. “I’ll tell you my secret crush if you tell me yours.”
If he knows, does that mean everyone else does too? I’m completely flustered, and he’s making me feel uncomfortable. “Stop it, Luc.”
“What the hell, Luc?” A voice bellows from behind us, making us both jump. Devin stalks in front of the couch, folding his arms, and faux-glaring at his brother. “You better not be hitting on my girl.”
My girl?
Lucas grins.
“Ange.” Dev’s voice softens as he speaks to me while keeping his gaze on his little brother. “Did this punk cross a line?”
“What?” I hop up. Even though it’s clear Dev is teasing, I don’t want the brothers falling out on my account. “No, of course not. It’s nothing like that. We were just goofing around.”
Luc stands up, slapping his brother on the back. “Dude, come on. I know she’s yours. I’d never dishonor the bro code. I was just messing with her.”
My body overheats at his words and the fact Devin doesn’t dispute them.
“Cool, but I’ll knock you on your ass if you ever upset her. You hear me?”
“Jeez.” Lucas straightens his wrinkled shirt. “What’s up your ass today?”
“You. Now scoot. Dad’s gone out. I’m going to keep Ange company for a while, but I’ll be home straight after.”
Lucas slaps him on the back. “It’s cool, man. Take your time.” He gives me a quick hug. “Sorry for being a jerk.”
I hug him back. “We’re good. Forget about it.” God, please forget about it.
Lucas leaves an eerie silence in his wake. The TV plays in the background as Devin and I stare wordlessly at one another. Neither one of us moves a muscle, and electricity sizzles in the air. Bruising shadows paint the space under his eyes, and his complexion is paler than usual. Considering I’ve barely seen his truck outside the house in two weeks, and there are no obvious injuries to his face or body, it’s clear he’s been at work most every night. He looks exhausted, but that doesn’t impede the hungry look in his eyes. My insides are tied into knots, and a familiar ache pools in my core. His gaze bounces between my lips and my eyes, and the smoldering look he’s giving me infuses me with courage.
I clear my throat. “Lucas said he knows I’m yours. What exactly does that mean?” I’m pleased my voice rings out loud and confident.
I hold his gaze as he moves ever so slowly toward me. He stops directly in front of me, and I look up at him. His hair is styled in a faux hawk today, and he looks hotter than ever. A layer of light stubble coats his jawline, and I give in to the urge to touch him. My fingers trace lightly over his five o’cl
ock shadow. Closing his eyes, he emits a strangled moan that turns my limbs to Jell-O. Reaching up, he places his hand over mine. His eyes open, and he stares deep into my eyes. I stop breathing at the blatant look of desire on his face.
Ohmigawd.
Ohmigawd.
He curls his free hand around the back of my neck, his fingers twisting in my hair. “I’m not strong enough tonight,” he whispers. “Not when I need you. And I need you so bad, Ange. I can’t deny this any longer, even though I should.”
My heart is literally in my mouth, which has suddenly turned dry. “What are you saying?” I whisper back.
His hand flexes on my neck, and he releases his other hand from my face, gripping my waist and pulling me in flush to his body. We’re pressed up against one another, and there is only a minuscule gap between our faces. My pulse throbs wildly, and my heart is slamming around my ribcage in hopeful excitement. A shiver whips up my spine.
“You’re so fucking beautiful, Ange. Inside and out.” His fingers dip under the hem of my shirt, and the feel of his warm hand on my skin causes my knees to buckle. He strengthens his hold, and his eyes flare black as he stares at me. The heat from his body seeps into mine, and the throbbing between my legs is almost painful. If he pulls away this time, I might have to knee him in the nuts.
“I’ve waited a long time to do this,” he admits, “and I can’t wait a second longer.”
Then his lips crash onto mine, and I’m drowning in Devin’s kisses.
CHAPTER SEVEN
He’s devouring my mouth like he needs me to breathe. I’m kissing him back with the same intensity, clawing at his shirt until my fingers find bare skin. His tongue invades my mouth, exploring without apology, and our tongues start a frantic dance. My hands wander up his back, discovering strong, hard muscles, and I pull him in tighter to me. Inside, I’m mentally fist pumping the air. I’ve wanted this for so long, and now that I’m in Devin’s arms and he’s kissing me like he can’t get enough of me, it’s everything I’d hoped it would be and more.
Angling my head, he deepens the kiss, moaning my name under his breath. My core is aching in a way it’s never ached before, and I rub against him greedily. When he rocks his hips against mine, the most powerful need rockets through me. I whimper, grinding my pelvis against him so he’s left in no doubt how badly I want him. He’s rock-hard in his jeans, and that only accelerates my arousal.
His lips move to my neck, suctioning on, and I shiver all over. “Devin.” My plea is desperate, but I couldn’t care less.
“Want to take this upstairs?” he rasps.
“God, yes.” My voice is breathy and thick with desire.
“Wrap your legs around me, baby,” he instructs. I jump up, doing as I’m told, and his strong arms hold me up as his mouth continues to worship my neck. He starts walking toward the stairs, and I close my eyes, reveling in the sensations he’s evoking in me. I’ve made out with other guys before, and done plenty of stuff, but none of those guys made me feel even a tenth of what I’m feeling right now.
Devin lifts his mouth from my neck, and I cry out in protest. He chuckles while walking us up the stairs. “I don’t want to drop you, beautiful.” He pecks me briefly on the lips as he mounts the last few steps, and I inspect his flushed, darkened expression with a certain amount of pride, wondering if I have the same sexy, dazed look on my face.
He brings me into my room, laying me down gently on my bed. Removing his shoes, he climbs over me, keeping himself propped up on his elbows as he stares down at me. I want to freeze frame this moment. To bottle the look on his face for all eternity. He wants me. It’s written all over his face, and even if he was to try to deny it with words, he can’t deny the expression on his face. It’s there in black and white. Devin wants me too. I mentally scream with excitement.
Pushing strands of my hair back off my face, he kisses me sweetly, so at odds with the way he was ravaging me downstairs. If he changes his mind now, I am going to kick him in the nuts. “Ange?” he whispers, brushing his lips across my cheek. “Are you sure you want to do this with me?”
He’s that vulnerable little boy again, and I’m the one holding his heart in the palm of my hand.
I cup his face. “I’ve never been more sure of anything. I’ve been saving myself for you.” True fact. I could’ve had sex a bunch of times by now, but I want my first time to be with someone I love. Specifically, Devin.
A look of shock mixes with pleasure on his face. “You’re a virgin?”
“Why do you look so surprised?” My hands creep under his shirt, and he shivers at my touch.
“You’ve dated, and I know some of those guys.”
“Yes, and I’ve done plenty of other stuff, but I never went any further. I want my first time to be with you, Devin. It was always meant to be you.”
He rests his head on my shoulder, and his breathing is labored. “I’m not worthy of you.”
“Bull.” I gently push his shoulders, and he lifts his head up. “Surely that’s my decision to make? And I made it years ago, when I promised myself that I’d only give my virginity to you. Don’t back out. I know you want this as much as me, and if you leave me like this, I’ll—”
He cuts me off with a passionate kiss. “I’m not backing out. I’m too fucking selfish to do the right thing.”
My hands wander up his spine as he presses me into the bed, kissing the shit out of me. My body is on fire, and I want to feel him naked against me. Gently, I push him off, sitting up quickly and whipping my shirt up and over my head. A welcome cool breeze coasts over my warm skin. Devin sits up, stripping his own shirt off but never taking his eyes off me. His fingers caress the skin at my neck in light, soft, featherlike touches that have me shivering all over. His hand moves lower, across my clavicle, and down lower still. I suck in a breath as the edge of one finger brushes across the swell of my breasts. My nipples harden under the thin cotton material of my bra. “You’re so gorgeous, Ange. So beautiful,” he whispers, before ducking his head and drawing my breast into his mouth through my bra.
I gasp as a shot of lust darts straight to my core. Devin eases me back down on the bed, lavishing equal attention on my breasts; one hand cups and teases one breast while his mouth goes to town on the other. He skillfully alternates, while I writhe and moan underneath him, on the verge of falling apart already, and he hasn’t even touched me down there. I grind my hips against his, and he nudges my legs apart, positioning himself exactly where I want him. I moan out loud. “Dev, please.”
He chuckles, lifting his head up to look me in the face. “Trust me, baby. I want to worship every inch of you and make sure you’re ready.”
“I’m ready.” The words fly out of my mouth, and he chuckles again.
“I’m going to take good care of you, Ange.” His expression turns serious. “Do you trust me?”
I nod profusely. “I trust you.”
He unclips my bra in a lightning-fast move. “Good, because I will always look after you. Always.”
Discarding my bra, he continues to worship my bare breasts before moving down my body, nipping, licking, kissing, and sucking as he goes. Sweat drips down my spine, and the covers feel damp underneath me, but all I care about is the flurry of sensations he’s awoken in me. My hips have a rhythm of their own, my hands a mind of their own, as I grip his ass and pull him against me. He smiles knowingly as he pops the button on my jeans, dragging the denim down my legs and tossing the jeans on the floor. Kneeling over me, he draws a slow, lazy trail from my head to my toes. “Damn, you are so fucking unbelievably gorgeous. Even better than I imagined.” He takes my ankle, holding it up, pressing a light kiss on the back of my calf.
“You’ve imagined me naked?” My voice comes out breathless and needy.
“So many times.”
His words thrill me silly.
His mouth continues a jour
ney up my leg. When he reaches my inner thigh, he places my leg back on the bed and pushes my thighs apart. My core is throbbing through the flimsy material of my panties. “I need to feel you, taste you.” His eyes burn hot as he asks the silent question. I nod my acquiescence, and he pushes my panties aside, sliding his finger inside me. I’m so wet it’s almost embarrassing. His finger moves slowly in and out, and I arch my back and close my eyes. “Eyes on me, beautiful.” I blink them open, attempting to focus on his face. “I want to see your every expression.” He adds another finger, and I gasp. He pumps his fingers into me faster and harder, and a crescendo of sensation is building deep in my core.
“Oh my God, Devin!” I rock my hips up, riding his fingers with unashamed abandon. “Don’t stop.”
In one swift move, Devin rips my panties away, and then his mouth is on me while his fingers continue to work me hard. I shatter in a fireball of colorful emotion, my body bucking wildly on the bed and the strangest sounds trailing from my mouth.
When I come down from my orgasmic high, I push the matted strands of my hair out of my eyes and grin at him. He looks conflicted, and my smile fades. Nervous he’s going to back out, I sit up and lean in, kissing his swollen lips. “That was incredible.”
I palm the bulge in his jeans, and he groans, his eyes rolling back in his head as I stroke one finger up and down the length of his straining cock. Opening his jeans, I twist around, pushing him down flat on the bed. “And it’s my turn to look after you now.”
His eyes smolder with longing, and I make quick work of his jeans and boxers, throwing them on top of my pile of discarded clothing on the floor. I stare in awe at his gorgeous, naked body, my gaze latching onto his long, thick erection and wandering up the toned planes of his abs and his smooth chest. He locks his hands behind his head, smirking at my obvious ogling. My eyes discover the dark purple bruise along the side of his ribcage, just under his armpit. The fact I didn’t notice it until now is testament to his considerable hotness and his skillful mouth and fingers. I frown. “Were you fighting again?” Carefully, I trace my fingers over the bruise.
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