“Fine. Have it your way, but I’m not taking this stuff.” He dumps it all on top of my dresser. “I understand you’re mad, but you’ll thank me when you calm down.” He opens the doors and steps out onto the balcony. A switch flips inside me at his words and his irritatingly cool demeanor. How dare he show up here acting like he hasn’t done anything wrong. Like he hasn’t ripped my heart to shreds, and left my self-confidence and my reputation in tatters on the floor.
I lose all sense of reason.
A primitive roar escapes my mouth, and I snatch the items up, throwing them over the balcony at him as he scrambles down the tree. He looks up at me like I’ve lost my mind.
Perhaps I have.
One by one, I fling items at him, aiming for his head as rage does a complete number on me. “I hate you!” I scream, throwing a bunch of CDs. They clatter to the ground, breaking apart. The items of his clothing are next. He’s on the ground now, with his hands in his pockets, looking up at me with the saddest expression on his face. I throw the trophy at his head, but my aim is off, and it bounces on the ground to his left. “Stay the fuck away from me, Devin!”
I pick up the last item, hurling the framed picture at his head with all the strength I can muster. This time my aim is bang on. He ducks down, barely avoiding impact. The glass frame shatters into a million tiny shards at his feet. “And you can take your empty words and shove them where the sun doesn’t shine!” I yell.
I slam the double doors shut, as a warm arm slides around my waist from behind. “Shush, Lina. It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
I collapse against Ayden’s chest, crying hysterically as I watch Devin bend down, picking up his belongings off the ground. He retrieves the drawing from behind the broken glass, carefully rolling it up and tucking it under his arm. He casts one last look in our direction, and I yank the curtains across the doors, plunging us into darkness.
The sobs pick up in earnest, and Ayden carries me to the bed where he holds me all night long, uttering soothing words until my exhausted brain finally succumbs to sleep.
The next day at school is officially the worst day of my life. Everywhere I turn, people are pointing the finger and gossiping about me. News that Becky and Devin are exclusive and official spreads like wildfire throughout the halls. At lunchtime, she sits beside him, fawning all over him, and it’s enough to slaughter my appetite. Ayden sits loyally by my side, attempting to draw me out of my melancholy mood. Mariah wants to personally castrate Devin, and she spends the whole lunch period sending threatening looks at Becky and Devin while I attempt to pretend like my heart isn’t smashed to pieces.
I’m in the smaller, less popular bathroom at the far side of the building just before the last class of the day, washing my hands in the sink, when Becky and her cronies swan in. The door snicks shut as they line up around me. Becky tilts her head to the side, her eyes scrutinizing me with thinly concealed disgust.
“What do you want?” I bark, keeping my head up and my shoulders back. I wipe my wet hands down the front of my jeans.
“I want to set the new ground rules.”
My mouth pulls into an amused grimace. “This should be good.” I fold my arms over my chest. “Let’s hear ‘em.”
She steps forward, putting her face in mine. Her features are twisted with malice as she glares smugly at me. Funny how a person can look aesthetically pretty when they’re completely ugly on the inside. She prods a bony finger in my chest. “First, let’s get one thing straight. I’m in control around here. You don’t get to call the shots, and you don’t get to stand there and mock me.”
“Screw you.”
She shoves me, hard, and I fall back against the counter. I straighten up, ignoring the surge of adrenaline flooding my veins. “I told you I always get what I want, and Devin is mine. All mine. You are not to come anywhere near him. You are no longer friends with him. He is invisible to you.”
I snort out a laugh. “Wow, never thought the day would come where I’d agree with anything that came out of your mouth, but I have absolutely zero issue with anything you have said. I’m done with the loser. You’re welcome to him.”
Shoving past her, I walk toward the door, ignoring the blood rushing to my ears. I’m yanked back by my hair and slammed against the wall. A stinging pain slides across my cheek as she pushes me into the wall, digging her knee into my lower back. “I wasn’t done talking, and you will leave when I tell you to leave.”
I wriggle out of her hold, my cheek scraping across the coarse stone in the process. I jerk away from her. “Get the fuck out of my way. I’ll leave when I want to leave.”
Her fist thrusts out, and she punches me in the gut, winding me. I double over, clutching my stomach in disbelief. I know Becky’s a bully, but I’ve never known her to be physically abusive. “You’re fucking pathetic, and it’s laughable that you thought he’d have any interest in you. I won’t warn you again, Mary. Stay the hell away from Devin, or you’ll suffer the consequences.”
Over the next few days, Becky and her minions wage a subtle campaign of terror. Despite the fact I ignore Devin, and I’ve had no contact with him, those bitches follow me everywhere around school, and they’ve even taken up residence at the diner, taunting me with excessive demands during every shift. Ayden is enraged, especially after what went down in the bathroom. We fought relentlessly over it. He wants to intervene, but I refuse to allow his involvement—that wouldn’t be in any way helpful. I need to deal with this, and I need to be clever about it. The last thing I want is to get hauled in front of Principal Wells. My record is impeccable thus far, and stuff like that matters to me. I want to leave high school with a clean sheet and my head held high, so, for now, I try to steer clear of the bitches and avoid confrontation.
Christmas comes and goes, and I’m glad when it’s over. The effort involved in pretending to be happy is draining. A few days before we’re due to return to school, I accompany Ayden to the hospital to get his cast off.
“Freedom!” he yells, fist pumping the air as we step out into the parking lot. I giggle when he picks me up, swinging me around. “This calls for a celebration.”
“What do you have in mind?”
“A few of the guys are grabbing dinner and a movie later if you are up for it?”
“Sure.” I shrug. “Count me in.”
I laugh myself silly when we get in the Jeep and Ayden lavishes kisses on the steering wheel. “Dude, you are so weird.”
He powers up the engine, almost purring with satisfaction. “You hear that, baby. You hear that beautiful sound.”
I roll my eyes, and he leans over the console, smacking a kiss on my lips. My eyes pop wide in surprise. “Today’s a good day, Lina.” He winks, easing the Jeep out of the space and into the line of traffic exiting the hospital. His blond hair has grown longer over the winter, curling around his ears and the top of his neck. He looks at me and smiles, his gorgeous blue eyes brimming with happiness. Leaning back in his seat, he sighs contentedly. “I’m hitting the open road with a beautiful girl by my side and there’s no school, no practice, we’re free as birds, baby.”
His enthusiasm is infectious, and I find myself laughing along with him.
Later, we drive to the movie theater and meet up with Josh, Cody, two of the other guys, and their girlfriends. Conversation flows freely in the adjoining diner as we eat, and, for the first time in ages, I feel relaxed and more like myself. Ayden keeps his arm around me as he banters with his teammates while I chat with Mariah and Gabi—who has just started dating Josh—across the table.
The jovial mood lasts right up until we set foot in the movie theater and the first people I see are Devin and Becky. My initial instinct is to turn on my heel and run, but screw them, they’re not driving me out of here or ruining my night. Ayden stiffens beside me, taking my hand and keeping me close to his side. “Ignore them.”
Ayde
n is a protective force behind me as we stand in line to buy our tickets, his arms circling my waist and his head resting atop my chin. I avoid looking over at Becky and Devin but I’m acutely aware of their presence. Everyone is, and tension is palpable in the air.
We grab popcorn and soda and head toward the doors. “You go with the others,” Ayden says, nudging me forward. “I need to use the restroom.” He pecks my cheek, and walks away. I follow Mariah and the others, claiming the last two seats in the row, right by the aisle, for Ayden and myself. The lights dim, and I pull my knees into my chest as the screen sparks to life.
All the tiny hairs on the back of my neck lift, and my heart starts thudding in my chest, for no apparent reason, but I know better. I’ve always been in sync with Devin, and I don’t need to look up to confirm he’s in close proximity. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot the form hovering in the aisle, his penetrating eyes boring a hole in the side of my skull. I ignore him, hoping he’ll go away, but he stays rooted to the spot, his hands in the front pockets of his jeans, just staring at me. Every head in our row turns to look at him, but he doesn’t seem to care, standing rigidly still and willing me to turn around and look up at him. I’ve no clue where Becky is, but I’m guessing she’s not in the vicinity.
Mariah subtly elbows me in the ribs, and my eyes flit to hers. “I know,” I mouth.
He’s still there, and I wonder what he hopes to achieve. After a couple minutes, unable to withstand it any longer, I look up at him. It’s the first time we’ve looked each other in the eye in weeks. His gaze roams my face as he stares at me with lethal quietness. I regard him flippantly, refusing to betray any hint of emotion, and it’s like some form of silent standoff. A simmering charge ignites the space between us, and the air is laden with unspoken words. His eyes drill into mine, as if he’s trying to implant his thoughts in my head. I don’t know why he’s even bothering or why it matters at this stage.
He’s chosen his side, and we’ve chosen ours.
Leaning his hands on the edge of Ayden’s chair, he lowers his head, closing some of the gap between us. It’s almost as if he’s challenging me to speak. Well, hell will freeze before I’m the first to break. I can be stubborn as fuck when I want to be.
He’s claiming the attention of random moviegoers now, and several curious faces are trained in our direction. Then Ayden is there, looming like an all-powerful protector behind him. “Your girlfriend’s on the way back from the bathroom, so I suggest you get your ass out of here before she notices. Lina has put up with enough of Becky’s bullshit.”
“What?” Devin turns to face Ayden.
“Don’t pretend like you don’t know. You two are practically joined at the hip.” True fact, but Becky never antagonizes me when Dev is around. She only does it when there are minimal witnesses and she knows she can get away with it.
“Ayd!” I hiss. “Drop it, and sit down.” The opening credits roll. “The movie’s about to start.”
Devin glances at me with a frown before walking away, plonking into a seat three rows in front of us. Becky swans in a minute later, tossing her blonde hair over her shoulder and skipping into her seat. She wastes no time draping herself around Devin, but he pushes her off and I spot the tell-tale glint of anger in his eyes as he whispers furiously in her ear. Her head whips around, her eyes narrowing as they lock on mine. I rest my head on Ayden’s shoulder, and focus on the screen, doing my best to ignore the couple in front of us, but my treacherous eyes have other ideas, and despite my best efforts, my gaze keeps returning to them.
Devin sits upright in the chair staring at the screen while Becky nuzzles into his side. She takes his arm, wrapping it around her shoulder only for him to remove it almost straightaway. Then she’s whispering with an ugly, angry expression on her face, and I can almost see the steam billowing out of her ears. This goes on for about the next twenty minutes, and it would be almost comical if I could find anything about this entire clusterfuck that’s funny. Five minutes later, after another angry tirade from Becky, Devin stands up and stalks out of the place. Becky flees after him, sending me a murderous glare on her way out.
“There must be trouble in paradise if that display was any indication,” Mariah says in a low voice as we make our way out to the parking lot after the movie has ended.
“I don’t care, and I don’t want to talk about it.” My tone is harsher than I mean it to be. “Sorry, M.” I loop my arm through hers. “I know you mean well, but I’m determined to put all that behind me. I’m fed up with feeling depressed and upset and tonight was fun for the most part, and it’s reminded me that life is for living, and I’m done acting like a lovesick harpy. Devin is a closed book, a non-entity in my life, and that’s how I prefer it. Life’s less complicated that way.”
She squeezes my arm. “I understand, and I’m glad you are moving on. I hate seeing you so sad, and tonight, in the diner, is the first time I’ve seen you smile and laugh in weeks.”
“I’m sorry I’ve been such a Debbie Downer, and I promise that’s the last you’ve seen of it.”
“I just want you to be happy.”
“Me too.”
“What about you and Ayden?”
“What about us?”
“You never answered me that day, and he’s good for you. You two are so cute together. I think you should give it a shot, and then we can go on double dates all the time.”
“Who’s going on double dates?” Ayden asks from behind as we pull up in front of his Jeep.
“The four of us.” Mariah is quick to reply, wiggling her brows mischievously.
“I’m down with that plan,” Ayden says, grinning at me. “Tonight was fun.”
“It was,” I agree, neither one of us prepared to mention the temporary blip in our otherwise awesome night.
“You should’ve gotten tickets to the psychic show tomorrow night,” Ayden says, opening the passenger door for me. “Then you could’ve come with Lina and me.”
“That psychic shit is all fake hocus-pocus,” Cody says, helping Mariah into the back seat.
Ayd grins at me. “Careful what you say around Lina. She’s very touchy when it comes to this particular subject.”
“Fact.” I twist around in my seat, shooting Cody a warning look. “I’m a true believer.”
“You’re too smart to fall for that bullshit,” Cody replies. “It’s all fake. It’s well known they have scouts in the crowd and they’ve done their homework. They find stuff out and make it seem like someone from the other side is sharing the intel, when it’s all complete and utter bullshit.”
“You’re such a cynic, Cody.”
He shrugs, buckling his belt as I do the same. Ayden revs the engine, driving out of the parking lot.
“I’ll admit I’m naturally cynical,” Cody confirms, “but a healthy dose of cynicism does no harm. Being too trusting is a flaw. Trust has to be earned, and that’s not going to happen at a mass event where everyone has paid twenty bucks a ticket.”
I cannot argue with his logic, even though I’ll never admit that out loud, certainly not less than twenty-four hours before Ayden and I attend the event. But the truth is, for years I’ve loved going to see fortune tellers and psychics because several of them have reinforced my future life choices, and I’ve needed that reassurance that life is going to pan out as I’ve planned it.
But now I’m questioning everything.
Especially the future.
And I’m realizing how naïve I’ve been and that maybe it’s time to grow up. Time to understand that I can’t control every single facet of my life. I can only control those aspects that I can directly influence.
Yes, I think it’s time I wised up. Faced facts.
No one can predict the future, because the choices you make, and the choices others make that impact you, can set you on a completely different path at any time, without any prior
notice. And if that’s the case, then what’s the point in knowing what lies ahead?
Because that version of the future can always change.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
“I expected you to be more excited,” Ayden says the next night, when we’re on our way to the show.
I look over at him. “I am, but maybe Cody had a point last night. Maybe it’s time I stopped worrying what the future holds and just be in the moment, ya know?”
“Being in the moment is good, but there’s nothing wrong in having an interest in the paranormal. Millions of people the world over are fascinated with it, and you’ve always gotten a kick out of that stuff.”
“I think I’ve been too fixated with trying to control my future, when it’s not something that can be controlled.”
“True. Your future will be what you make it.” He parks, cutting the engine, and his brow furrows. He looks off into space. “Do you think you can change the course of your life?”
I nod, slipping my arms into my jacket. “I do, there are always choices, and the world’s our oyster, right?”
We get out and walk toward the arena. Ayden pulls the zipper up on my jacket, removing his scarf and wrapping it around my neck. I kiss the inside of his wrist, smiling up at him. “What?” he asks, taking my hand, a look of confusion on his face.
“You’re always looking after me.” I look at him, really look at him, and it’s almost like I’m seeing him, properly seeing him, for the first time. Ayden is unfailing in his support, loyalty, and protection of me, and I think I’ve taken that too much for granted. Mariah’s words from last night have been circling round my brain all day, and I wonder if the boy I should be with has been right under my nose all this time. Whether I obsessed over the wrong boy next door. “And I want you to know I appreciate it, and”—my cheeks heat—“it’s nice. It’s nice to know I can always count on you.”
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