Swim Coach: A Novel

by Sam E. Kraemer

  I sank into my seat next to Amanda for the lecture with the lab to follow, and when she put a note in front of me, I turned to look at her. Before I could question her, the professor walked in and began the lecture.

  I picked up the envelope and looked at it, certain who it was from. My name on the front was in an elegant script, and I was sure it was from Andre. Considering I hadn't turned on my phone since he blew it up on Sunday, I was sure he'd resorted to other means of communication, but really? What’s left to say?

  I picked it up and caught her attention. I started to rip it in half, rather dramatically, but she jerked it out of my hand. "Do not be a pussy. Open it."

  "Miss, uh, Burns? Would you care to add something to the mutation of genes?"

  I saw her face was glowing with embarrassment, and as much as I wanted to feel pity for her predicament, I was gloating a little.

  "No, sir. Please, continue." She gave me a harsh look and glanced at the envelope. After the mortification I'd just caused her, I decided to open the fucking thing.

  Colton –

  I understand my behavior on Sunday was a bit over the top, but I haven't seen Andre in a while. He and I were roommates during freshman year, and we're good friends, but nothing more. We were never compatible.

  When I whispered in his ear, I asked him if you were available because I think you're absolutely adorable. His response was a definitive "no."

  Just give the boy a chance. He's a fucking mess and it's my fault, so call him. I've never seen him so fucked up.

  Chip Littlehorse

  I glanced toward Amanda and saw a smug smile on her face. Okay, I'd jumped to the wrong conclusion with regard to the relationship between Andre and Chip, but hell, it wasn't inconceivable considering how good-looking and comfortable Chip had been when he was hanging around Andre’s neck.

  I continued to take notes, suffered through the lab, and when I got back to the dorm room, I opened the envelope on top of the clothes basket on my bed.

  Squid –

  I'm sorry if you got the wrong impression regarding why I sent you to the diner when I knew Chip was working. It wasn't because I don't want you with Dupree. Hell, I think you might be the best thing that's happened to the lad in a long time, but he's going to have to change, and well, I think you might be the guy he'd do it for and I wanted to enlist Chip's help in getting you kids together. Guess it backfired.

  If it doesn't happen, I'd still like to have you as a friend, broken nose and all. You've got a hell of a right, kid. Juan's sporting a huge bruise on his chest I kiss every night. He was impressed with that roundhouse, I’ll tell you.

  Don't be a stranger, kiddo. Even Heidi was upset with how this shit went down, and really, that bitch has no feelings for anyone.

  Call me some time, but call Dupree, will ya? That hang dog look is too much to take.

  Lancelot

  I was a Wixsom and us Wixsoms were a stubborn bunch, to say the least. It was that stubbornness which sent my father off in the middle of the night with a kiss on my forehead and a quick goodbye when he got the call, even with my mother begging him to retire. It was his job, as he'd tell her, and he was going to do it.

  It was what made Zoey decide to stay in New York and work instead of returning to Unionville after she graduated from NYU the next spring after Dad was killed. She was going to make her own way without any help from the family, and unfortunately, that decision brought her to the point she didn’t stay in contact with us because Mom wasn't happy about the distance she was putting between us. I ended up just being collateral damage in the situation because Zoey didn't talk to me either.

  It was what made my mother, a nurse, take extra shifts at the hospital to pay the mortgage instead of paying off the house with my dad's death benefit.

  The Wixsom stubbornness was a blessing and a curse, but I suffered from it as well, so instead of calling Andre as I wanted to, I decided he needed to be the pursuer if he was remotely interested in me.

  I put away the clothes in the basket and flopped down on the bed, thinking about the possibilities. I wanted to believe Andre Dupree was interested in me, but hell, maybe it was an act. I wasn't the most exciting guy and God knew, I had no fucking game when it came to romance. There was no plausible reason why he should be interested in me, what with his incredible looks and suave personality.

  And then, the "buts" came. But, he seemed interested. But, he'd given me my first blow job and he'd kissed me a lot. But, he took me out on a date, and he let me take him out on a date, even though it ended pretty badly. But, he'd gotten his friends to intercede on his behalf.

  All of the "buts" led me to one conclusion. He'd put himself out there, sending me texts I hadn't read, voicemails I hadn't listened to, and even enlisting his friends to step in on his behalf. It was time for me to actually man-up and call him. No, I'd go over to his house and take back the basket. I'd listen to what he had to say, and I'd see where it left us. It was the fair thing to do.

  I knocked on the door of Andre's apartment, basket in hand. I'd worked my shift at the bookstore, and I'd decided to go straight there instead of home to change. I didn't know Andre's class schedule, and maybe he had an early class the next day which meant he'd want to go to bed early, so it was best to go sooner rather than later.

  When the door opened, it was Heidi. "Bookstore? Thanks for bringing the basket back." With that, the Whore slammed the door in my face. God, I hate that woman.

  I knocked again and when she opened it, she had a very unattractive scowl on her face. "What? Dupree's not alone, so unless you want to bust up a party, I'd say call him first." She then closed the door, the fucking bitch.

  When it opened again as I was about to leave, I was relieved to see it was Juan. Of course, Heidi was complaining in the background, but I heard Lance yelling at her as well.

  "Get the fuck over it, Heidi. If you don't like living with us, get another fucking place to live. We're all tired of your bullshit, so pack up and move out. Hell, maybe you should consider getting into a program."

  "Come on in, Colton. This ain't anything new, trust me. She's high once again, and she gets very mean. Contrary to what she said, Andre's alone in his room. He's been fucked up since Saturday afternoon, and seriously, don't listen to anything that bitch says," Juan explained.

  "What's her problem with me?" I really wanted to know.

  Juan laughed. "You made her look stupid at the bookstore. Look, she's Lance's friend, and she wasn't always as fucked up as she is now. She's hooked on something, and she has daddy issues from what I can tell. She's not happy unless everyone around her is miserable, so that's why she said that shit to you about Andre having someone with him.

  "He's been wallowing, and she thrives on it, doing everything she can to perpetuate it. You can't let her get to you. Go on back and put all of us out of our misery, please?"

  I nodded and walked down the hall, knocking on Andre's bedroom door. The music was blaring, so I knocked louder. "GODDAMMIT, GO THE FUCK AWAY! I’M BUSY AND I’M SICK OF YOU FUCKS BOTHERING ME!” I tried the handle, finding it locked, so I banged again, unsure what would happen when he opened it.

  "JESUS FUCK!" He tore the door open, and the look of shock on his face surprised me. He hadn't shaved, and I didn't think he'd showered, based on the way his beautiful hair was plastered down. He was in a pair of loose shorts and a t-shirt, and he was scowling. When it registered it was me standing there, he looked down at the floor, and he just stood there, seemingly surprised.

  It was my turn to speak. "You enlisted the help of my friends and yours, so what do you want? I'm here."

  He stepped aside, so I walked into his room seeing a chaotic mess. The last time I was in his room, it was meticulous so the disaster wasn't something I was prepared for at all. "What happened in here?" I asked, seeing drawers and clothes on the floor. There were papers everywhere, and there was actually a broken clock on the floor in the corner with a very visible hole in the drywall.
<
br />   "Uh, someone broke in. Why are you here, Colton?"

  I wanted to laugh at his lame excuse, but he was trying to save face and I remembered what that was like from back in high school. I definitely wouldn't humiliate him.

  "I came to return the basket and well, Chip and Lance offered some explanations I wasn't getting out of you so I came to hear you out. Now, I know you've called and texted me and I haven't responded, nor have I read them, but I'm here so let’s talk.

  "I know your type, Andre, and you're not the kind of guy to have a relationship. You've told me that time and time again so I’m a believer and I won’t push anything. Thing is, I am the type of guy to want a relationship. I sure didn't think so, but after this weekend, I figured it out.

  "So, I'm here to offer both of us an end. I like you a lot, but I can't just be friends with you. I also can't stand the thought of trying to be something else to you and then running into you with another guy on campus. I thought I could, but hell, it turns out I can't. I'm not expecting to meet my Mr. Right anytime soon, but I like the idea he might be out there. I can't date someone who dates a lot of other people at the same time. I'm sure you're not one to date just one guy at a time, so let's just let it go."

  I’d said my piece, and after standing there for five minutes with him just staring at me, I couldn't take it any longer. "I really hope you find what you're looking for as much as I hope I do."

  I opened the bedroom door and walked down the hallway to the front door. I took a deep breath and walked out. If what I felt was closure…it fucking sucked.

  Chapter Ten

  Hell-O-Ween

  "Come on, it's the Sig Phi Halloween party. Come with us," Bryana begged at lunch on the day before Halloween.

  "Nope." No parties for me. Especially knowing Juan was a Sig brother and the chances of running into Andre at that party were higher than average. I'd avoided any situation wherein I might run into him, and I wasn't ready to open the wound anytime soon.

  I'd spoken with my mother and she was expecting me to make the trip home for the anniversary of my father's death which was the first weekend of November. There was no way I was going to a party the night before making that trip. Nick had actually agreed to drive me to Unionville and spend the weekend so I needed to pack. Bryana and Amanda, well, I'd finally come to the realization they needed to grow up as much as me, so they were on their own with regard to their safety at parties.

  "God, you've turned into an old woman," Amanda bitched.

  "I've got a long drive tomorrow, and I'm not doing it hung over. I also refuse to dress up, so you two hookers are on your own. Just remember, make your own drinks and don't accept anything from anyone else. I need to get to class, but I'll talk to you over the weekend. Tell Lance I said hi."

  Amanda grabbed my hand. "Colt, Lance and Juan broke up."

  That brought me back to my chair. "Seriously? Why?" I asked. They seemed so right for each other. Hell, I didn’t want to believe her.

  "I ran into Lance the other day. Seems Juan's committed to go back to New Mexico to his hometown and teach for a few years. He had a scholarship from his high school that helped pay his way here so he’s committed to go back and teach there.

  “Lance wants to go back to North Carolina where his family lives so they decided to end it now rather than later.

  "On a high note, Heidi moved out. Apparently, she overdosed or something, and when Lance called her parents, they took her back to Chicago to rehab. He said it's the only bright spot in the house. They're looking for a roommate," Amanda explained.

  "Oh." Yet another genius moment for me. Lance had called me, but I didn't call him back. I figured it was something to do with Andre so I deleted the voicemails. I felt horrible for it, but I wasn’t going to be made a fool because I was a stupid, naïve kid.

  "I'll call him. I had no idea," I commented as I cleared the table and went to the trash.

  We walked out and Bryana pulled me down, kissing my cheek. Damn, she was short. "Colton, you need to either go tell Andre how you feel or move on. You're not in a good place right now, and it breaks my heart. Think about it this weekend, will you? Talk to Momma about it."

  I nodded, smiling at the fact Amanda and Bryana called my mom "Momma." Hell, my mother loved them as much as she loved me, and it really made me happy. "I'll think about it. Have fun, but don't go home with any sleazy guys, please?"

  They both laughed. "No promises, Wixsom," Amanda called as they went to their dorm.

  After class, I was walking back to the dorm and decided to call Lance. "Squid? I thought you were fucking dead," he greeted after the first ring.

  "Hey, Lance. You busy tonight? I know there's a party at Sig, but I'm not going."

  I heard a deep breath over the line. "I'm not busy at all. Can we do something? Wanna grab a couple of beers and play some pool? You still got that fake ID?"

  "Yep. What time?" We made plans, and I went to my room, changed out my books, and made my way to my last class. When I got back to the room later, I found a note from Nick.

  Colton – Sorry to ditch you, but Damon got hurt so I'm on a plane to Georgia. I'll call you. Stay strong, sweetie. Nick xoxo

  Well, that wasn't good because I didn't have a ride home. I couldn't blame him for going, but hell, I needed to figure out how to get home, and I knew the bus was my only option. I went to my laptop and pulled up the schedule, seeing I'd need to leave early in the morning to catch a bus to get me to Unionville in time for the ceremony.

  I started to book a ticket, but the fucking Wi-Fi in the dorm went down, and really? How many people were taking a bus from Seattle to Unionville on an early Saturday morning? I could show up and get a ticket, I was sure.

  I showered and dressed, not really giving a shit how I looked. I met Lance in front of the bar he'd suggested, and when he saw me, I could tell he was suffering just as much as me. He looked like shit, much as I was sure I did.

  "Shit, Squid, you look as bad as me," he commented as he gave me a crushing hug.

  When he released me, I caught my breath and smiled at him, happy to see him after several weeks. "Thanks for the compliment, jack off. What the hell is going on?" I asked as I followed him inside the bar.

  I went to the desk to get pool balls, and after they checked my ID, the lady smiled and handed over a tray. We were directed to table eight, and after Lance racked them, I ordered us both beers. We flipped for the first shot, and when the beer was delivered, I paid the waitress.

  "Here, drink up. What the hell happened, Lance?" I asked as I took my first shot, him having missed his last.

  "Fucking reality, Colton. I'll graduate next June with my degree in education, but I'll have to do my certification work in North Carolina where I plan to live. Juan's been doing his while finishing his degree, and he's going back to Las Cruces to teach. Heidi seems to have decided she doesn’t want to grow up, so she OD'd in order to get out of facing reality, and the other day, I walked into the apartment and found Andre crying into a pair of boxers. Shit is upside down, man, I’m tellin’ ya. I don't know how to fucking handle it."

  I took a deep breath and a sip of my beer. I really had no business offering him any advice because I was just beginning my college career, and I really didn't know what I wanted to do when I graduated, but one thing seemed obvious he wasn't saying, so I pulled up my long pants and ventured into unknown waters.

  "I know you think I'm an idealistic kid, but I'm going to ask you something, and you don't have to answer though it seems obvious to me. Do you love Juan? Is he the guy you could be with and have a future?"

  Without answering, he got up from his stool and took a shot that was supposed to be mine, but I wasn't going to stop him. I ordered us two more beers and sat on the hard, wooden stool while he walked around the table to contemplate his next shot.

  He slammed the stick on the floor and walked over to me. He placed his hands on both sides of my face and looked into my eyes. I thought he was going to kiss me,
but he smiled. "You need to give my boy another shot. He's ass over appetite about you, and I totally understand it now. He's miserable, Colton. I think he's able to change with the right incentive, and I definitely think you're the right incentive. If I wasn't up to my eyeballs in love with Juan, I'd try to get your attention." He kissed my forehead and backed away.

  I was stunned, but I was flattered. Lance was hot...really fucking hot, and if he was being honest and not just trying to stroke my ego, he could be interested in me? That was pretty fucking great to hear.

  We didn't discuss it anymore, and after we played a couple of games of pool, we had a few beers and shared some chicken wings, we walked out of the bar. "What's up for you this weekend?" Lance asked.

  "I've gotta take a bus out to Unionville tomorrow morning. It's the anniversary of my dad's death, and my sister is too fucking selfish to come home. Nick was gonna go with me, but Damon got hurt so he went to Georgia. We go to the cemetery and lay a wreath during a short memorial service. I can't let Mom do it alone.

  "Thanks for going out with me tonight. I wasn't looking forward to spending it alone," I offered. We were at the point where we needed to go our separate ways. His home was in one direction, and my dorm was in the other.

  "A bus? That seems harsh. You want some company? I've got nothing going on this weekend," he offered. It was actually the best news I'd heard in a long time.

  "It'll be depressing, but my mom's a good cook. We lived in Texas when I was little. Mom’s actually from Austin. I can guarantee you good food," I taunted, knowing Lance's weakness.

  He laughed. "What time should we leave?"

  "If we leave by seven, we can be there by eleven. Mom will be happy about that. We can have lunch, and then she and I can go to the cemetery. You don't have to go with us, but I'd appreciate having a friend around after," I responded.