by Eason, Mary
She caught the gesture. “What time’s your meeting tonight?”
“Seven.”
Cara put her arms around his waist and hugged him. “I should go as well.” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. His arms tightened around her, drawing her into the kiss. A man could get lost in her kisses, but he was trying to be what she needed and she needed him to be patient.
Reluctantly, he let her go. He cleared his throat. “Pick you up for church tomorrow?”
“That’d be great. Jase…”
“What is it?” He held his breath. Please God, don’t let her have regrets.
Her green eyes turned dark and serious. “I love you. I love you so much.”
And just like that, his world held promise again. “I love you too, baby. More than you’ll ever know.”
*****
“You told her?” Aiden looked as if he couldn’t quite trust what he’d heard. “You told Cara about Maudie’s letter.”
Jase grinned at his friend’s confusion. “Well, technically, she read the letter herself, but the outcome was the same. She knows..”
Aiden let out a low whistle. “Man, oh, man. God is good, isn’t He?”
Aiden had waited until Jase finished mentoring Brett, and they’d driven over to the Dairy Freeze for coffee and talk.
“He sure is, buddy.” Jase wondered if he’d stopped grinning since leaving Cara.
Always the voice of caution, Aiden looked him square in the eye. “There’s more, isn’t there? Something on Cara’s end, I’m thinking.”
Jase blew out a breath. “Yeah, but I have no idea what. She’s keeping something from me. She doesn’t trust me with it yet.”
“I see. How do you feel about that?”
Jase tossed Aiden a “give-me-a-break” look, and Aiden held up his hands.
“How do you think I feel about it? It drives me mad that she can’t or won’t trust me, but she needs me to be patient. I’m going to be patient for her.”
“Man, I never thought I’d see the day. You’ve finally grown up, buddy.”
Jase rolled his eyes and took a slug of coffee. “I always thought it’d be more fun being grown up.”
“There are times, my friend, it really bites.” After their waitress refilled their coffee, Aiden grew serious once more. “How are you coping?”
Jase knew what that meant. “About like any other drunk. I’d give an awful lot for a drink, but I haven’t and won’t. So I guess I’m coping.”
Aiden nodded and glanced around the restaurant. “I wonder if the weather’s keeping our old friends away.”
Jase grinned. “Must be. The roads are sloppy. Oh, I have another piece of news. Cara and I are going to Breckenridge the week before Christmas.”
Aiden crossed his arms and raised a brow. “Sounds like fun. How’s that going work in with you giving her more time, though?”
“Separate rooms. I can’t wait. I’m taking my wife on vacation, and we have separate rooms.”
Aiden almost spewed out his sip of coffee from laughing so hard. “Patience, buddy. Remember, patience wins the race.”
*****
Cara rarely took this much time deciding what to wear before now. She’d changed three times, before finally choosing the chestnut-brown pantsuit she’d bought at Resale Dreams a few days earlier. She matched it with a soft cashmere, cream sweater.
Why was she so nervous? This was Jase. He loved her, and they were in a good place. For the first time in a long time, she believed they might work things out in their marriage. So why was she so nervous?
Because now there was only one person holding secrets.
Her.
Jase had opened up his heart and his life, the good and the bad, to her. She believed him and trusted in him. She, on the other hand, couldn’t seem to bring herself to do the same, no matter how much she wanted their marriage to work. What was wrong with her?
Outside, she heard his truck’s tires crunching along the gravel drive. Cara gave her appearance one final glance. She’d tell him on their trip to Breckenridge. Somehow, she’d find the way to tell him all of her darkest secrets.
She opened the door to a bouquet of white roses and started to laugh. They were favorite and only Jase had ever given her roses.
“How’s the prettiest girl in Cartwright doing this fine Sunday morning?” He removed his Stetson, held out the roses to her, and then leaned in to kiss her lips. A very tame kiss by Jase’s standards, but still, the man knew how to turn even the most innocent kisses into something more.
“I’m good. How about you? You look very handsome.” And he did, dressed in his dark blue suit that accentuated the bluest eyes in Montana.
“Better now.”
“Come inside while I put these in water.” He followed her to the kitchen. Cara was aware of him watching her as she worked. Her fingers shook as she poured water into her aunt’s crystal vase and set it on the kitchen table.
“You’d better grab your coat. It’s freezing out there.”
She retrieved her coat and purse then followed him outside. A gust of north wind almost knocked her off her feet.
Jase reached out to steady her. “Careful. You wouldn’t want to fall on this muddy ground. You look too pretty for that.”
It had been a long time since she felt attractive. Jase made her feel pretty and wanted, yet part of her was still expecting to wake up back in Paradise, alone and miserable, missing him terribly.
“Don’t do that,” he murmured.
She looked at him confused. “What?”
Jase opened the truck’s passenger door for her. “Don’t keep looking for trouble. We’re going to be okay. Just give us a chance.”
She nodded and climbed inside. Once he got behind the wheel, he wasn’t in any hurry to leave. “I know this is a bit awkward. We’re still finding our way, but we’re okay. We will be. We’ll get there. And we’ll be stronger than ever.”
She smiled and kissed his cheek. If it were up to Jase, she believed they just might all right. But she had no idea if he’d feel the same way once he learned about the secret she carried.
Chapter Seventeen
The drive into Breckenridge was one of the most spectacular ones in the country, especially with all of the new snow clinging to the pine trees.
Cara and Jase arrived early the following afternoon in downtown Breckenridge, where Jase seemed more than a little amused by the size of their small, two-bedroom cabin. “It’s…quaint,” he told her after examining the place in a single turnaround. “Very quaint.”
“Is that your way of saying you don’t like it?” Cara asked while trying to keep up the carefree, happy front she’d struggled with most of the journey. She’d promised herself she would tell Jase all of her dark secrets somehow. Yet throughout the long drive home, she hadn’t been able to come up with the words.
“Are you kidding?” he asked. “I love it. This place is wonderful. What more could you want?”
Cara stopped in front of him and shook her head. “You are so bad.”
She rolled her eyes only to find herself captured in his arms again and all her attempts at humor gone.
She couldn’t be close to him and not want to believe she’d been wrong in believing they couldn’t work through the truth. “Okay, let’s leave this stuff and unpack later. I want to hit the slopes for a while today.”
Cara let him lead her from the cabin while her anxiety reached another level. She hadn’t been able to tell him what she hadn’t needed to on their honeymoon. She was terrible at skiing.
They found a place in town to rent skis and were on the top of the mountain in record time.
“What’s wrong?” Jase asked when Cara glanced down the slope that looked more like a cliff.
“Jase, I have a confession to make. I’m not very good at this.” Her words came out in a rush because the more she looked over that cliff the more she was backing away. Uh-uh, no way was she going down that thing.
“You d
on’t like to ski?” His question brought her attention back to him. Was that amusement on his face? Surprise maybe, no doubt regret at how ridiculous he’d been to bring her in the first place.
“No, I like to ski. Just over there.” Cara pointed to the beginner’s slope and heard him laugh.
“Okay, then we’ll go over there.” He caught her hand just before she backed any further away. “It’s okay, babe. This one can be a little challenging and it has been a while since I’ve been on skis. I should start out slower as well.”
She waved him off. “ No, you go ahead. I’ll just be over there. Probably falling down an awfully lot.”
Jase simply shook his head. “I’m coming with you. I can’t have you falling into someone else’s arms now, can I?”
They spent the rest of the afternoon skiing down the beginner’s slope with Cara falling more than actually skiing, as she had predicted, and Jase rescuing her so many times is was bordering on embarrassing, though she was grate to have him helping her up every time she stumbled. They ate dinner at the local steakhouse and spent a little time walking around the old town sightseeing.
Back at the cabin, Cara was exhausted from her day of falling down the hill. She and Jase talked a little, but mostly they simply enjoyed being together. So many times that night she wanted to tell him. She had a feeling he sensed her struggle, but Jase kept his word. He was determined to be patient.
When Cara woke the following morning, the first thing she smelled was freshly brewed coffee. She didn’t remember a thing about the night before beyond listening to Jase tell her about the last ski trip he’d taken. Once she’d dressed, she found him in the kitchen, looking out the window at the falling snow.
“There she is. I was beginning to think I’d killed you yesterday.”
Cara refused to answer that remark. Instead, she remembered that they didn’t have coffee in the cabin the day before.
“Where did you get coffee?” She poured a cup and turned to find him grinning.
“I’ve already been to the store and back while you’ve been sleeping. I thought we might do some exploring in the Jeep today. I’m guessing you’re probably a little too sore to try skiing again.”
“Very funny.” Cara tried to ignore the way her backside hurt when she sat, but she imagined Jase caught her pained expression.
“You were out like a light last night,” he told her with that maddening smile of his that dared her to ask how she’d gotten into bed since she’d fallen asleep on the couch. She wasn’t going there. No way.
They filled a couple of Thermoses with coffee and made sandwiches for their great adventure before heading out.
There were literally dozens of four-wheel-drive paths throughout the mountains that they could explore.
Most of the more, treacherous ones become virtually impassable by this time of the year, but there were a couple of slightly tamer trails open and they found every one of them that day.
One path in particular wound through the woods filled with spruce and aspen trees. The smell was heavenly. Jase parked the Jeep, and they decided to venture the rest of the way on foot. Just past a crop of aspen trees, the path cleared away to an opening where a beautiful log cabin sat. The place wasn’t on any of the regular paths, and there weren’t any visible roads leading up to it.
The house looked enchanting, like something out of a fairy tale with trees on all sides. It had the most beautiful wraparound porch Cara had ever seen. The perfect place to escape from the world.
“I don’t think anyone’s home,” Jase said when they got closer. “You think this is one of the rental cabins? I didn’t see any private property signs around, did you?”
“No, but you’re right. No one is home.” They looked at each other, both clearly thinking the same thing.
“We’ll just peek through the window,” Jase told her then stepped up on the porch followed by Cara.
“Yeah, what can it hurt, right?” The place looked as enchanting on the inside as it did from a distance. Furnished throughout like the cozy cabin getaway, it would be the perfect place to forget all your troubles.
Jase winked at her. “This place would be a great to spend a romantic weekend.” All Cara could do was nod. She couldn’t think about romance and not remember the secrets that stood between them.
“I can see spending our second honeymoon here even.” He pushed on oblivious to Cara’s inner turmoil.
“No interruptions. No escaping…” He smiled and, against Cara’s will, she remembered all the romantic things about their first honeymoon, the passion and love they’d shared.
They left the house soon after, and while they spent the rest of the day exploring, they never once found anything close to the enchanting little cabin in the woods.
The next morning when they dropped the cabin keys off, Jase asked the man working at the real estate agency that leased the cabins if he knew who owned the little cabin in the woods.
“You mean the Stewart place. They don’t usually rent it out. Only on occasion. Those folks are from some place near San Antonio I believe. I hear they might be looking to sell though. They’re getting on in years.”
They spent the rest of the day exploring the town and doing little tourist things like buying gifts for their friends. It was hard leaving. After all, they’d made some beautiful memories together and Cara believed with a little prayer and patience on their part they might just have a chance at saving their marriage.
Although she had been there several times in the past, including on her honeymoon with Jase, this trip would always stand out in her mind as special. Jase made it special for her. He was so tender, so attentive to her needs. So patient.
She promised herself that once they returned to Cartwright and after Christmas, she’d tell Jase the truth about Paradise. Somehow, she’d find the courage to come clean.
Chapter Eighteen
Jase couldn’t remember ever feeling this nervous before. Not even when he’d asked Cara to marry him the first time.
He’d held onto her engagement and wedding ring set when she left it behind. He planned to give it to her today. Christmas Eve. Somehow, it seemed fitting. He’d wait until after the Christmas Eve service when they came back here to ask her to stay his wife.
He’d convinced Cara to spend the night since they were going to have Christmas dinner with Aiden and Fran’s family.
Jase glanced at the clock. She’d be here any moment. They’d spoken a couple of times since the trip to Breckenridge. Things had seemed good. Almost too good, he thought and quickly pushed that thought aside. No need looking for problems before they presented themselves. Wasn’t that what AA was all about? Taking life one day at a time?
Snow flurries had been falling hit and miss most of the day. The weathermen were predicting a white Christmas. Seemed only fitting.
Outside, the approaching vehicle broke the muffled silence. Cara.
He walked out to greet her and thought once again how right things felt between them.
Please, God, don’t let us screw it up this time.
“Hey there.” Cara smiled and waved as she got out of the car, dispelling some of his fears.
Jase retrieved her overnight bag from her hand. They were still uncertain of each other. After a moment’s hesitation, he drew her into his arms and kissed her lips. The need to bring her closer, lengthen the kiss, show her how much he’d missed her, was difficult to control. Somehow, he knew it was the right thing to do. She needed more time.
“Well, you look nice. How are you feeling? Not still sore from the ski trip, are you?”
He’d hoped to ease away the residual tension still lingering in her. She smiled and faked a punch on his arms. Jase was proud of himself.
“Very funny. I don’t think I’ll ever get rid of those bruises.
I could kiss it and make it better. He hoped his reaction to that thought didn’t show on his face.
“Who knew you couldn’t ski?” Jase kept his arm around he
r waist. He glanced up at the darkening sky as it wept gentle snowflakes. “It’s really starting to come down, isn’t it?”
Once inside, Cara brushed the snow from her hair. “I know. Isn’t it great? A white Christmas.”
Jase gave her a quizzical glance. “I’d think after living in Cartwright most of your life a little snow fall would be blasé.” Even though they’d grown closer since her return, Cara hadn’t once mentioned what her life was like in California. He wondered what she was hiding. ”And I’m sure they have plenty of snow in Paradise.”
The smile faded from her face. “But it was different there.”
Something told him not to push for answers just yet, and he let it go, though not without difficulty. “Are you hungry? I was thinking we could make a sandwich or something before we left. We still have plenty of time.”
Cara dropped her purse on the table near the door and took off her coat before answering. “I’m starving. A sandwich sound great.”
It was kind of nice sitting in the living room with the Christmas tree the only source of light, eating a ham and cheese sandwich and watching the snow pile up outside. Simple things he’d never truly appreciated before sobriety.
Cara set her plate on the coffee table and moved close to him. “This is nice. Just the two of us.” She wrapped her arms around his waist, and he drew her into his arms. “Jase, I’m glad we’re spending Christmas together.”
He swallowed back the lump in his throat. “Me, too, babe. Me, too.”
For the longest time, they held each other without saying a word. He’d have given almost anything to stay this way, blow off the service entirely, but in his heart of hearts, Jase knew they needed God’s guidance to make their marriage successful this time.
Reluctantly, he let her go. “If we’re going to make the service tonight, we’d better leave soon. Otherwise…”
Cara sighed and shook her head. “I know you’re right, but this is nice, isn’t it?”
“Yes. Too nice. I keep remembering we are still married.”
She laughed and got to her feet. “Yes, we are, and you’re right. We should go.”