“I have no idea what that means. What is an Apgar? Is it hereditary?”
Now both nurses were smiling, and one looked as though she was trying too hard not to laugh at my expense.
“Apgar stands for: Activity, Pulse, Grimace, Appearance, and Respiration. So when you had that horrified look on your face as I moved her limbs and suctioned her, that’s part of it.” She wrapped my daughter up tighter than a burrito in a small blanket and put a pale pink cap with a knot on the top over her brown hair. “Are you ready, Dad? Be sure to support her head.”
I looked at my hands. “One second.” I rushed over to the wall where a hand sanitizer unit was hanging and made sure I was completely disinfected before I stood in front of the nurse and held out my arms. “I’m ready.”
She placed my daughter in my arms. I’d never felt so much love and responsibility.
I kissed her tiny cheeks. “Hi, sweet girl. I’m your daddy.” A tear ran down my face, and I turned to look at Nikki. “Look how tiny she is.”
Nikki smiled, and the nurse chimed in, “She’s five pounds, thirteen ounces and nineteen and a half inches long.”
“Wow, you’re a teeny thing, aren’t you?” I couldn’t stop talking to her.
The doctor finished taking care of Nikki and left with the nurses to give us some time together.
“I knew you’d be the best father. See how good we are together? She’s beautiful.”
“She’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” I looked at Nikki. “You did great, Nik.”
“Thanks. That was hard and painful, and now I’m going to have these dreaded stretch marks. I better be able to lose this weight.”
Always about her. That was Nikki, Princess Selfish.
“Who cares about all of that? Look at her. She’s amazing.” I didn’t want to let her go, but I wanted to tell everyone she was here. I knew Nikki would freak out if she knew Julie was in the waiting room, but she would find out soon enough. “Do you want to hold her, Nikki? I want to go tell everyone all about her.”
She grinned tightly. “Can you please send Leah in?”
Figured she’d ask that bitch to come here. “I don’t want her holding our baby.”
Nikki scoffed. “She won’t want to. She hates babies.”
“Then I definitely don’t want her holding the baby.”
The nurse came back in. “You have a group of people asking for you.”
I smiled, but I didn’t know what to do with my daughter. I turned to hand her to Nikki, and she refused. My mouth dropped open before I kissed my daughter’s head.
“I’ll take her and put her in the bassinet,” the nurse said. “She needs to be fed. Would you like me to do that in the nursery?”
“I can do it.” Nikki sat up. “Gimme her.”
I swallowed hard. “Can you please stay with Nikki until I get back?” My eyes begged for the nurse to understand what I was really asking. “In case she needs help?”
The nurse gave me a curt nod. “Yes, I’ll be right here.”
I placed her in Nikki’s arms and nodded at the nurse. When I made it to the waiting area, my mother jumped up. “Brett!” Everyone else followed suit and stood and stared at me. Alex wasn’t here, but Tyler was. I looked at my watch, and it was 2:45 a.m. He must have left to go home.
“She’s beautiful.” I looked at Julie, who had tears in her eyes.
She hugged me. I told everyone my daughter’s measurements. When my mom asked me how her Apgar was, I laughed and said it was perfect, just like my little angel. My parents hugged each other, then my dad shook my hand.
Still tucked up against me, Julie asked, “How’s Nikki?”
“She’s good, and I think she’s tired.” I looked around. “Is Leah here?”
Tyler tilted his head to the left, where Leah was sprawled over three chairs, sleeping.
“Nikki wants to see her,” I said.
“Well, we want to see our granddaughter. Is that okay?” My mom’s voice was dripping with pride.
“Yes, of course. Let me wake up Sleeping Nasty over there, and we can go.”
Julie shifted so she was standing in front of me.
“I want you to meet her too,” I said.
She smiled. “I will, just not right now. Go be with your daughter. I’ll be right here.”
I kissed her. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Before I walked away, Julie asked, “Brett, what did you name her?”
“We haven’t yet. Oddly, we haven’t even discussed it. I know what I want, but Nikki probably won’t go for it. I’m sure we have time.” I had, however, asked the nurse to use my name as the identifier in the nursery.
Everyone except for Julie and Tyler, who decided to stay and keep her company, came to meet my daughter. My mom cried, my dad beamed with excitement, and Leah snarled.
Once they all went home to get some rest, I asked the nurse if I could stay. She smiled and said yes, but she was going to take the baby to the nursery so Nikki could get some rest. When I saw her wheeling out my daughter, I followed and let the nurse know I’d be in the waiting room.
Julie was still there, sleeping with her head on Tyler’s shoulder.
I gently nudged her and whispered, “Jules?”
She blinked, lifted her head, and looked at Tyler as if she had no idea she’d been resting on him. “Hi, is everything okay?” She yawned. “I’m sorry I fell asleep.”
“It’s late.” I tapped Ty’s knee. “Tyler, wake up. Can you make sure Julie gets home okay?”
He rubbed his eyes and stretched. “Yeah, no problem.”
“Before you both go, I want you to meet my daughter.”
I took them to the nursery’s viewing window and pointed at the perfect baby in the bassinet labeled, “Chambers, Girl.” Thankfully, Nikki agreed with me when I’d asked the nurse to use my last name.
“She’s so pretty.” Julie waved. “Hi, precious baby.”
Tyler congratulated me, and after I hugged Julie good-bye, he took her home.
The next day, Julie brought me a change of clothes, and I told her to go get more rest. She looked exhausted. After I pleaded with her to take care of herself, she agreed and said she’d be back later.
Nikki was being completely annoying. “Brett, when can we go home?”
My heart jumped into my throat, and I was ready to choke. It dawned on me I wouldn’t be taking my baby home—she would.
“We haven’t decided on a name yet. We need to do that before we leave,” I said.
She smiled. “I think we should name her Nicole.”
“I was thinking Madeline after my mom. We can call her Maddie.”
She crinkled her nose. “No way.”
The nurse walked in with our baby and gave her to Nikki, along with a bottle. “Do you need help?”
Nikki shook her head. “I think I know how to feed her.”
She wasn’t the same nurse as the night before, and I was embarrassed by the way Nikki spoke to her.
I smiled at the poor young nurse. “Thank you anyway. We’ll let you know if we need anything.”
She nodded and said the doctor would be in shortly.
Once the door closed behind her, I glared at Nikki. “Can you take it down a notch? She was doing her job.”
“Here, you feed her.” Nikki held the baby as if she were allergic to her. “I don’t want to.”
I gladly took her and sat in the rocker next to the bed. I watched her perfect rose-petal lips mold around the bottle’s nipple as she sucked. I was in awe of this tiny bundle in my arms. “That’s my girl.”
“You aren’t going to be with me, are you?” Nikki crossed her arms and pouted like a petulant child.
“No, Nikki. I’m in love with Julie, and we’re back together. I told you from the beginning, I never stopped loving her.” I brought my attention back to my baby. “My lawyer has drafted papers so we can have joint custody.”
“You’re a terrible father.”
<
br /> My heart splintered at her words.
“Seriously, refusing to be a family after I gave you a daughter? You made love to me that night, not Julie. She didn’t go through hell and have a human come out of her—I did. That should count for something.”
I didn’t want to get angry while I was feeding the baby, but I felt my pulse accelerate. “Look, I know you gave birth. I’ve never said I would take the baby away from you, just like I never said we’d be together. Can’t you be happy that our daughter is healthy and has two parents who love her?”
She huffed. “Whatever. I never wanted a baby. I only wanted you. So now I have her and not you. Maybe I won’t let you see her. I can fight you in court. A mother always wins.”
I placed my daughter on my chest and tapped her back to get her to burp, as I had earlier when the nurse woke me to feed her. “That’s a horrible thing to say. Do you mean that?”
She shrugged. “I’m tired. Can you leave?”
A little burp escaped my daughter, and I smiled.
“Take her to the nursery.” Nikki’s words were clipped and nasty.
The next morning, I woke up in the waiting room after the same recurring nightmare. Julie was sitting next to me.
“Good morning, Brett.” She kissed my cheek.
“Hey, how long have you been here?”
“Not too long. I didn’t want to wake you. I went to the nursery and saw “Chambers, Girl” then I came in here.” She smiled. “Still no name?”
“No. Nikki wanted Nicole.”
Julie’s head jolted back.
“Yeah, that was how I felt, so I said no. She’s so non-maternal. I had a feeling she would be, but I figured she’d at least try. She told me she’s going to fight me in court and not let me see my daughter.”
Her jaw dropped. “She can’t do that.”
“I’m going to call my lawyer and make sure of it. She’ll be discharged today. I don’t know what to do.” I stood. “Let’s go see my daughter. Then I need a cup of coffee.”
We walked to the nursery, and I waved at the nurse standing next to my angel. I mouthed that we’d be right back, then I grasped Julie’s hand. We headed to the cafeteria to get some much needed caffeine.
On our way back upstairs, I told Julie I needed to try to talk some sense into Nikki. Julie completely understood and said she would go look at the babies. I gave her a chaste kiss before I went to Nikki’s room—where I was greeted by a nurse stripping the empty bed.
“Where’s Nikki? Did she move to another room?” My heart raced. A chilling feeling ran up and down my spine.
The nurse pivoted, looking calm while I was the opposite. “She was discharged and left about ten minutes ago with her friend. I told her you said you’d be right back, but that didn’t seem to matter. An orderly wheeled her out. I can ask him if she said anything.”
My lungs lost function as my chest constricted. Sweat coated my skin as I sprinted to the nursery. No, no. Please don’t tell me she took the baby. With each step, I said more prayers. My heart jackhammered while my head spun. Then I spotted Julie. Her huge smile faltered when I approached her.
“I think she has your eyes.” Julie looked in the window and pointed. “Look, they’re open.”
When I saw the bassinet with “Chambers, Girl” holding my precious daughter, I let out the biggest sigh. Tears flowed from my eyes.
“Brett? What’s wrong?”
I pulled Julie into my arms and held on as tight as I could. “I thought Nikki had taken her. I was so terrified.”
Julie placed her hands on my cheeks and wiped my tears with the pads of her thumbs. “Sweetheart, she’s right there. Everything’s okay.”
“She’s gone.” I shook my head in utter disbelief. How could she leave?
“Who’s gone? Do you want to sit down? You’re pale.”
“No, I want my daughter.” The nurse who had been in Nikki’s room walked by, and I looked at her tag. “Marie?”
She stopped in front of us.
“Can we borrow Nikki’s room for a minute?” I asked.
“Sure, do you want to see the baby?”
“Yes, and the doctor. I need to talk to him.”
“Of course, I’ll page him and bring your baby right in.”
When the nurse arrived, I picked up my daughter and kissed her. “Your daddy will never ever leave you.” I placed my cheek on hers and breathed in her scent. I turned to Julie. “Would you like to hold her?”
She frantically nodded. I placed the baby in her arms, and Julie’s face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Hi, sweet girl.” She rubbed her nose against the baby’s. “I’m Julie, and we’re going to be great friends.”
In my dreams, Julie would have been her mom. She was a natural. Her gentleness and comfort warmed my heart, but right now, I needed to deal with my nightmare. The doctor came in, and I asked about Nikki. He told me he’d given her discharge papers.
Then the doctor looked at the baby. “Is Nikki still here?”
“No, she left.”
“Without the baby?” The doctor put his hand on his chin and tilted his head. “I didn’t notice any signs of postpartum depression, but that can come on at any point. I’m sorry, Mr. Chambers.”
“Don’t be. She isn’t depressed—she’s twisted. Nikki never wanted this baby unless I was part of the package. Apparently since it wasn’t going her way, she bailed.” I huffed and looked up. “But I never thought she’d stoop this low and leave her daughter.” My lips grazed my girl’s sweet skin. “Can I take my daughter home? I have papers that state I’m the father. I gave them to admissions when I arrived on Sunday.”
He nodded. “I’m aware, but your daughter needs a name before you can take her home.”
“Okay, can you give us a few minutes?”
He nodded and walked out.
“How could she leave her?” Julie was rocking back and forth, staring at my baby. “What are you going to do for a name?” She looked lovingly at my daughter then at me.
Before I could answer, a woman from the hospital staff walked in. “Hi, I’m Andrea. Congratulations.” She looked at her clipboard and clicked the top of her pen. Her expectant eyes turned to me. “So do we have a name for this pretty girl?”
I didn’t even need to think about it. “Madeline.”
“And the middle name?” Andrea glanced up with arched brows.
“Um…” I looked at Julie. “What goes with Madeline?”
Julie shrugged.
“What was your mom’s name?” I asked.
Her lips turned downward. “Kate. My mom’s name was Kate.”
“There you go. My daughter’s name is Madeline Kate Chambers.”
Julie gasped, and I took the baby from her arms. “Hi, Maddie.” She made a gurgling sound, and I chuckled. “See, she likes it.”
Andrea smiled.
“Can I please have a copy of Nikki’s admissions paperwork as well?” I wanted everything Nikki had signed to be in my possession.
“Sure. I’ll be back with the documents, then you can take Madeline home.”
Home. We were going home.
Being in Brett’s apartment now was different than it had been a week ago. Seeing Brett put Maddie down in her crib gave me such a unique feeling—almost indescribable.
He turned on the monitor and walked out of the nursery. “Any luck contacting her?”
When I shook my head, he rubbed his temples. Poor guy was so tired. Maddie was a great sleeper, but we’d been trying to get her on a schedule. That wasn’t happening though. We were convinced she was nocturnal.
“I had Tyler try her cell phone and Leah’s, and they both went to voicemail. He went to her apartment, and her neighbor told him she’d left with suitcases.”
He studied me for a moment. “When did her neighbor see her? Could it have been when she left for the hospital? She had a bag then.”
I frowned and said, “Last night.”
“She’s been in New York this
entire time? How could she not come see her daughter? I don’t get it.” He shook his head and twisted his lips. “Why in the world would Nikki abandon her? Don’t get me wrong, I can’t stand the bitch, but how could she do that to Maddie? She doesn’t even know her name.”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you think it’s postpartum?”
“She didn’t seem depressed until I told her you and I were back together. So my guess is she left because of us.” He sat and rested his head on the back of the couch. “I told her from the start that I didn’t love her. I didn’t lead her on. I couldn’t have been clearer. But I never thought she’d abandon her daughter.”
The buzzer rang, and Brett looked toward the door. Dark circles rimmed his eyes. He was exhausted. We both were.
“I’ll get it.” My muscles yelled at me to sit back down, but I ignored their plea, as I had for the past few days.
When I opened the door, his mom came in with a couple bags of groceries and a beautiful young woman.
“Hi, come in.” I stepped aside, but not before his mom hugged me.
“Julie, I’d like you to meet my niece, Lyn. She’s a Broadway actress.” Madeline’s pride made Lyn blush.
“Hi, Julie, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Lyn smiled.
“Hey, two of my favorite family members are here.” Brett staggered over to kiss his mom and hug his cousin. “Lyn, it’s so great to see you. I haven’t seen you since my birthday party.”
Sadness washed over me when I realized I had missed that party.
“I’m surprised I haven’t seen you at the club, trying to get busy with Tyler.” Brett waggled his brows and winked.
“Brett Chambers!” his mother scolded.
We laughed, but Lyn’s face turned red.
“What?” He turned to me. “You should have seen them, Jules. They were completely undressing each other with their eyes in my parents’ backyard.” Brett chortled. “Good thing there weren’t any children there.”
I gave Lyn a sympathetic look. “He’s overtired. Please ignore him.”
Brett went to take the bags from his mom, but she scurried into the kitchen and started putting things away. “We’re here so you two can get some rest. So scoot, and don’t worry about anything. Grandma and Lyn are here.”
A Heart's Forgiveness Page 20