Black than Blue

by Rebekah Weatherspoon

  “Yeah, sure. But know that I want you around. I want to keep feeding from you. I want you to be in my life. We just have to cut it with the sex.”

  “I get it. Man, you fuck me really good, though.” He laughed a little. “You’re the best mistress I’ve ever had.”

  “I know, honey. We’ll work something out. And maybe we’ll find someone just as good to keep you satisfied in that way. While you’re thinking it over, there is one more part for you to consider.”

  “What?”

  “How would you feel about being an uncle?”

  I chuckled at Andrew’s reaction. His whole face lit up.

  Chapter Twelve

  Benny

  On my way to class, I texted Sam, Anna-Jade, and Amy and told them to meet me for dinner down in the food court in the student union. The prices for meals were murder on your meal plan, but a bunch of our sorority sisters and frat brothers would be in the cafeteria, and I wanted to talk to them alone. I ran into Jill by the library, and even though I felt like a jerk, I lied and told her I was having dinner with some of the seniors to plan something special for the rest of the girls while we were away on spring break. I’d come up with an actual treat so Jill wouldn’t have a lot of questions for me later. She was hesitant. Luckily, Micah passed by on his way to the café and dragged Jill with him. When I thanked him, he just told me to come by and see that puppy, and we’d call it even. I’d have to come up with something special for him too.

  I paid for the girls’ food, and once we found a table, Amy pounced on me.

  “Okay,” Amy said. She propped her elbows on the table and clasped her hands together. “This has to be big. You never—I mean, B. Come on. You never ask for girl time with us. Ever.”

  “She’s right,” Sam said. “What gives?”

  I took a deep breath and told them about my new relationship status. Amy freaked. A.J. clapped and told me how happy she was for us. Samantha sulked. Amy nudged her under on the table. “Do you have anything to say?”

  “What?” Sam shrugged and twirled her fork in the middle of her plate. “I’m happy for you. Congrats.”

  I don’t know what I expected from her, but I tried to explain why things were changing and why I was telling them. “Sam, Cleo and I—”

  “No. It’s cool. I figured it was only a matter of time. You two are fucking psycho for each other. You belonged together.”

  “Fucking psycho? Is that how you see it?” I wasn’t mad, but this was exactly why I didn’t like talking to people about my private life. Someone always had a negative opinion. I glanced at Amy and A.J. to gauge whose side of this conversation they were about to take. Amy had my back. A.J. was just uncomfortable.

  “I mean, yeah. You’ve been so fucking weird with each other for three fucking years and then you’re engaged all of a sudden? Doesn’t sound too healthy to me, but whatever. We all know how my last relationship ended. I’ll be right back.” She didn’t even give me a chance to respond. She just walked away toward the bathroom. I looked after her, feeling the frustration gripping my throat.

  “Hey,” Amy said, pulling my attention back. “We’re happy for you. I’m sure Ginger and Camila are too.”

  “They are,” I replied, still irritated.

  “Sam’s just having a bad semester. There’s all this stuff going on with her mom. And you were her last single friend. I don’t think she’s in the mood to be happy for anyone.”

  “Have you and Cleo done it yet?” A.J. giggled.

  I swallowed and pulled my sweater down over my fist. I could almost feel Paeno’s mark taunting me. “Yes. We have.”

  “Oh,” A.J. said. She looked confused.

  “What?”

  “Nothing. I just thought you were celibate.” Rumors. Precisely why I loved them.

  “Well, I’m not. Amy just likes to make things up.”

  “Sorry,” Anna-Jade said bashfully, which made me feel terrible. She was the last person I should have snapped at.

  “I’m sorry, A.J. I’m not angry with you. I’m pissed at Amy and her big mouth.”

  “You should be pissed at Sam for ruining this lovely dinner we were having,” Amy said. “And speak of the devil.” I turned around to see Samantha walking back toward us. She sat down and immediately hugged me.

  “I’m a huge bitch and you know it. I love you, and if Cleo makes you happy enough to call a special dinner, then you must be making the right choice.”

  “Thanks, Sam,” I said.

  “Now I just have to find another bed to sleep in for the rest of the semester. You and Cleo are going to mess up my rotation.”

  “There’s always Jill’s bed,” I suggested.

  “No, thanks. She won’t shut up long enough for me to get any sleep. Plus, those braces have to come out first before she’s of any real use to me. I’m not letting her go down on me with that much metal in her mouth.”

  A.J. tried to hide her snicker. She was too sweet to laugh full-out at a sister’s expense.

  “So,” Amy said, “did you guys have the best pent-up make-up sex ever?”

  “Yes,” I said as I brushed my jeans in my lap. “And that’s all I’m saying.”

  “You really thought she would give you details,” Sam said.

  “It’s okay, Benny. A lady has to have her secrets.” A.J. smiled.

  “Oh, whatever. For such a little girl you are fucking loud. I’ve heard Micah working you out from across the street,” Sam said.

  “Oh my gosh.” A.J. turned bright red. “No, you haven’t.”

  “Oh yes, we have,” Amy said. Samantha held her hand out and gave her a low five.

  “You guys stink.” A.J. giggled.

  As we finished dinner, we continued to give A.J. a hard time and they teased me a little too, mostly about Jill, but it felt good to know that they were happy for me, even if Samantha’s initial response had been a little cold.

  On our way back to the house, Amy hooked her arm through mine. “I’m really glad you told us, B.”

  “I am too.”

  “So, a night wedding?” she asked.

  “If we want to get married anywhere other than my mama’s living room, yes.”

  “Have you picked a maid of honor yet?”

  “It’s me, you bitch,” Sam said.

  “I’ll let you two fight it out with Ginger.”

  “Fuck that,” Sam said. “She can have it.”

  *

  Sometimes in life you find yourself in situations you’d hoped you’d never repeat. I looked around at my sorority sisters, and the glances I got back proved that Amy really couldn’t keep her mouth shut. I hadn’t expected her to, but a bunch of the girls now knew why we were having this special chapter meeting. Part of me wished our sister-queens had held their own private meetings with their feeders. Camila needed to replace me in her meal schedule, and we had a stern policy of taking volunteers. We could have done it by secret ballot, slipped under each girl’s door, but Cleo had asked me to be open about us, and she was right. Telling three of my friends would still allow me to pretend Cleo and I were a secret to the other girls. None of them expected me to own up to anything even if rumors were flying around the house. I tried not to notice the way everyone was looking at us, but gave up when Cleo pulled my hand into her lap just before the meeting started. I wanted to take my hand back. PDA was a foreign concept for me, but I also wanted to do this for Cleo. I knew I should do it for myself.

  Ginger got everyone’s attention and the room quieted down. “I can’t believe we’re doing this again,” she said under her breath. “Okay. We’re gonna mix things about a little bit here, girls. Who wants to feed Camila?”

  “What’s going on?” one of Natasha’s sophomores asked.

  “Does this have anything to do with our new lovebirds over there?” Amy said, winking at me. I appreciated her putting a positive spin on things before we faced the firing squad of public opinion.

  “Why yes, Amy. It does,” Ginger said.
>
  I swallowed, then took the first of many steps. I didn’t want Ginger to have to speak for us. “Cleo and I have some history and we’ve decided to give our relationship another try.”

  The reactions around the room were mixed. The seniors who knew us from the beginning seemed to be on board, even Laura and Mel, who were ready to push me off the library roof the week before. The younger girls were just confused. They’d heard all the insanity that had been going on between Cleo and me, especially in recent weeks, but they hadn’t realized we were in this type of territory. Jill, though… I looked at her from across the room as her whole face fell. Another second and she would start to cry.

  Before Ginger could call the room to order again, Mel raised her hand. “If Cleo is getting another feeder, then shouldn’t she lose one?”

  “Speak for yourself,” Hollis said.

  “I am, puta,” Mel said with a little snarl. “Ginger, I’ll do it.”

  “You sure?”

  Mel looked at Cleo. “We’re done with the, ya know?”

  “Yeah.” Cleo nodded.

  “Yeah, I’ll do it.”

  “Thank you, Mel. That’s twice for you.” The first time being when Cleo herself became a demon—Mel had cut her bond with Tokyo to feed Cleo.

  “Okay. That’s it,” Ginger said. “Meeting adjourned.”

  Jill jumped up and bolted from the room.

  I turned to Cleo. “I have to talk to her.”

  She nodded up the stairs. “Go.”

  I took off for the freshman and sophomore floor, but Cleo grabbed my hand before I made it two steps. “Hey. Come right back here when you’re done.”

  I hesitated for a moment before I answered. There was something different about her tone. Something commanding. “Yes, Cleo.”

  The wink she gave me sent a tingle through my stomach. “That’s a good bunny.”

  I cursed Jill for delaying whatever Cleo had planned and chased her up the stairs. I found her in her room, which she shared with another freshman, Portia. We matched them together because no one wanted to live with Jill, and Portia spent most of her time with her boyfriend, who lived off campus. And here I was about to tell Jill, once again, that someone else wasn’t interested in her.

  I knocked and cracked her door open a little. “Can I come in?”

  Jill was weeping. Not crying, but curled up on herself on her bed, sobbing her eyes out. I sat beside her. I didn’t know what to say. Nothing would appease her. I just sat with her and let her cry for a while. Eventually, she asked me to hand her a tissue. I grabbed the whole box from Portia’s desk. She took some time to clean her face and then we got our chance to talk.

  “Is that what you were talking about at dinner? Is that why you didn’t want me there, because you wanted to talk about getting back together with Cleo?” she asked.

  I couldn’t lie to her. For once, Jill was breaking my heart.

  “Yeah. I—” I almost said I wanted to tell my friends first; a horrible choice of words. “I just didn’t know how to tell you.”

  Jill fell apart all over again. “You can’t be with her. She was so mean to you, Benny. Don’t you remember? I’ve seen the way she looks at you and I’ve heard the things her feeders said about you. You’re so nice and you deserve someone who will love you the right way.”

  It was just great to have a freshman making me sound like a main character in the movie of the week. I just kept going back. But this was different. Cleo and I had both made mistakes, but at the end of the day, or the end of the night, we belonged together.

  “Jill…” I couldn’t say I loved Cleo, because that would only hurt her more. I couldn’t tell her that she never had a chance with me, because that would just make her feel more rejected. I had no idea what to do.

  In the next moment, Jill and I weren’t alone. Ginger appeared by the foot of the bed. I’d noticed during the meeting what Cleo had noticed that morning. Despite her chipper mood downstairs, Ginger was exhausted.

  “Hey,” I said, a bit confused.

  “I can feel this.” She motioned toward Jill. Fantastic, I was making Jill so miserable Ginger could sense her pain. Absolutely fabulous. “Trust me. When she’s in a good mood, it’s like I’m on crank.” Ginger slid onto the bed on Jill’s other side and pulled her into her arms. “I got her. You take off.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Yeah. Beat it.”

  I reached out and rubbed Jill’s shoulder. “I’m gonna go. I’ll see you tomorrow?”

  Jill sniffled. “Okay.”

  After thanking Ginger again, I walked to the door, careful not to look back. I hated what I had just done to Jill, and Ginger, and Camila by default, but before I closed Jill out of my life for good, she called after me.

  I turned around just as she slammed into my body with a hug. I hugged her back.

  “Can we still be friends?” she asked quietly.

  “Sure we can. Like I said, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Jill finally let me go.

  “Come back here, Jilly Bean,” I heard Ginger say. Jill didn’t complain about the nickname for once as she let go and walked back to the bed. I knew she was in the right hands.

  *

  When I came back down to the TV room, Cleo was watching a rerun of some Real Housewives show with Faeth, Ruth, and Maddie. A few juniors were in the corner pretending to study, but they were watching television too. Faeth made room for me on the couch. I sat between her and Cleo. The moment Cleo put her arm around my waist and pulled me closer, I forgot all about Jill. I made myself more comfortable with my hand on her thigh.

  On the TV screen, two women with horrible addictions to Botox and prescription drugs were arguing about the dress one had worn to a charity event. Maddie and Ruth had a lot of opinions on who was right and who was more medicated, but my focus was on Cleo’s fingers moving up and down my side. My whole body was keyed into her. I could hear myself breathing and I was hot all over. All I could think about was her taking those simple caresses to another level. I held particularly still, trying not to draw attention to my own arousal. Every part of me sparked with the knowledge of what Cleo was capable of. Every nerve ending and sensitive bit seemed to stand at attention, just waiting for her to make some sort of move. Maybe we would just watch TV with the girls, then head to bed. Cleo was after a little normalcy these days. Or maybe we would go for a walk in the cold and she would feed from me out in the open.

  Or maybe she’d decided on my punishment. I had diverted from the script the night before.

  The housewives ended their hour. I looked at Cleo as she glanced past me to her sister-queen.

  “Hey, Faeth.”

  Faeth stood and made a show of dusting off her pants. “All right, kids, let’s go.”

  “But a new episode is about to start,” Maddie whined.

  “You have a TV in your room,” Faeth replied.

  “But I don’t want to walk up the stairs.”

  “I’ll carry you. Let’s go.”

  “Okay!” Maddie handed Ruth her book bag, then hopped on Faeth’s back.

  Begrudgingly, the study group in the corner broke up their slack efforts and followed Faeth upstairs. I knew they would be annoyed with Cleo or possibly me for kicking them out, but again my focus was elsewhere.

  Cleo was quiet for a few minutes. We watched a brief recap of the train wreck we had just seen, then the start of a new sixty-minute mess.

  Soon Cleo’s fingers found their way into my hair. “How was class today?” she asked quietly.

  I looked at her gorgeous face, her amazing full lips, and her light brown eyes. She would be this young forever, always this beautiful. “It was fine.”

  “Come here.” She wrapped her fingers deeper into my hair and pulled me into her lap. I straddled her and we were kissing. Weeks’ and months’ worth of kissing. Her lips were so much softer than before, her technique more masterful, which I didn’t think was possible. She’d been an amazing kisser as a human.

&nbs
p; “Fuck, I missed you,” she whispered against my mouth.

  “I missed you too.” I knew we were both talking about more than our afternoon apart.

  “Go turn off the lights,” she said.

  I calmly climbed off her lap and flicked the switch on the overhead lights by the door. The lights from the hallway and the kitchen would still come through the curtains on the French doors that separated those rooms from the TV room. I moved to close the doors to the hallway.

  “Uh-uh,” Cleo said. I looked at her over my shoulder. “I didn’t say anything about the doors. Leave those open and come back over here.” I didn’t like that idea at all, but I followed her orders and went back to the couch.

  “Right here.” Cleo indicated for me to stand between her legs. When I was in position, she reached under the pillow beside her and pulled out a roll of red bondage tape.

  “What do you have on under that sweater?” she asked.

  “A camisole and a bra.”

  “Take off your sweater. I don’t want you to get too hot.”

  I pulled the cashmere over my head and placed it in Cleo’s outstretched hand. She draped it over the back of the couch.

  “Wrists together. Hands out.” I looked down at her soft fingers as she traced Paeno’s mark.

  “I talked to Mama. She told me Daddy is working on Paeno.” We’d had a quick chat before the chapter meetings. Daddy was still in a horrible mood, but she insisted that I focus on Cleo and our relationship. I wasn’t foolish enough to think we were scot-free, but I didn’t want another demon to ruin this moment.

  “That’s good,” she replied. It was obvious that she didn’t want anyone else to ruin the mood either. Effortlessly, she bound my wrists together. She remembered that I liked the tape better than the handcuffs we’d toyed with before we did some proper investigation. The cool plastic stuck to itself and not my skin. Cleo wrapped it pretty tight, but not uncomfortably so. Still, my heart was racing.

  “How does it feel?” she asked.

  “Fine, Cleo.”

  “Good.” She sat forward and undid the button on my jeans, then pulled down my zipper. “I want you across my lap. Do you need help?”