Black than Blue

by Rebekah Weatherspoon

  I kissed Jillian’s cheeks—I couldn’t get enough of her chubby baby cheeks—and chatted her up with nonsense as I walked our usual circuit around the nursery. And then Jillian decided it was time to fill that diaper. Benny hated how hard I laughed at her I’m-about-to-poo-face. And poo she did. I made it to the changing table in relative silence, but I had to say something about the stink.

  “Baby. Sister-girl. What have you been eating?” That, of course, made her fussy. Not dropping a load in her pants, but me insulting the smell of her crap made her scrunch up her face and crank out a little whine. The slightest noise from Jillian had Benny’s baby senses tingling. She was out of bed and in the nursery before I could execute wipe phase one.

  “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I was waiting up for you,” Benny said as she stroked Jillian’s hair. “Hello, my bubby,” she cooed.

  “You know you don’t have to do that. We have all morning.”

  “I know. I just missed you.”

  “How about I finish up here with the stinkster and then I help you get back to sleep.”

  “Will this so-called help involve a massage?”

  “Does my bunny want a massage?”

  Benny groaned and rubbed her back. “Yes, your bunny does.”

  “Well, bunny always gets what she wants, doesn’t she?” I leaned over and kissed Benny’s lips. “And how about you, my Jilli? Do you want a baby-sized massage for your baby-sized muscles?”

  Jillian stuck her fingers in her mouth.

  “I think that means I should shut up and get a new diaper on her bum.”

  Though I was quick with the diaper change, Jillian had designs on what was under Benny’s shirt. So did I, but I had to wait my turn. Her feeding was long, and then there was another diaper change and then Benny walked her around for a bit until she conked out again. I knew the routine, as unpredictable as it was, wore Benny out. But despite her exhaustion, I’d never seen her this happy. Or more beautiful. Or patient. Finally, we put Jillian down in her crib and I led Benny to the bed.

  She flopped forward on her face. I watched, amused, as she tried to get undressed without really lifting her arms or head. “Help me,” Benny whined, trying to pull down her pants. I rolled her onto her back and helped her out of her jeans. “You’re gonna have to do my feet too. They are killing me.”

  “I’m gonna do your whole body, baby. Just you wait.” Once she was naked, I pulled down the covers, then grabbed her favorite oil. With a quick zip around the room, I lit Benny’s favorite candles and put on the Music for Massage Mix Camila had compiled for us.

  “You’re not going to use the table?” she asked. Yeah, I’d bought a proper massage table too. For now it was nice and handy, a few feet away in the closet. But I had very specific plans, and the table was too narrow to accommodate us both.

  “I told you, I have every intention of putting you to sleep. Come on.” I scooped her up and laid her on the center of the bed. As soon as she was in a comfortable position on her side, with her pillows between her legs, I went to work on her hip and thigh. During her pregnancy, I’d become quite the master of the slow stroke prenatal massage. I used it as a ploy to get Benny into bed plenty of times, even though she was on to me. Neither of us saw a reason to stop them once Jillian was born. The baby had brought several changes to our sex life. There were ways to practice bondage safely with a pregnant woman, but I was not on board with that shit, and the more the baby continued to grow, neither was Benny, especially when her all-day sickness kicked in.

  We had both missed that kinky side of our relationship, so she had the idea that I take Andrew back on. We started slowly, but over time, Benny revealed to me that she enjoyed watching, that it turned her on. I only fucked him with a strap-on, but he was happy with that. He enjoyed his time with Rodrick, but he missed having a more complete relationship with me. With the help of my blood, Benny recovered from the delivery in no time. I was glad to have both of my submissives back in full action, but Benny still got the bulk of my attention.

  “Andrew sent me a text. He’s home and Bruno’s spending the night,” Benny said as if she’d read my mind.

  “I’ll go check on them later,” I replied, knowing that later would probably turn into tomorrow. I ran my fingers up Benny’s thigh, over her hip, and slowly back down again. She groaned again, but this time in delight.

  “Better?” I asked.

  “So much better. I love your hands.”

  “They love you.”

  “I want to pounce on you right now.” Benny snorted with laughter, and then she let out a sigh that morphed into a moan. “But I can’t move. You’re going to have to keep this pleasure moving.”

  “Downtown?”

  “All the way downtown. I’m so glad you have a sense of humor about this. I’m so horny right now, I might burst.” I stopped my massaging and got undressed. In the next second, I was on the bed behind her, my fingers resuming their stroking around her front. I slid my other arm under her head and buried my nose in the thick waves of her hair. She’d become obsessed with the weight she’d gained. A ton of times she’d bashfully wiggled out of my gasp or moved my hands if I touched her belly. She was convinced she was never going to get rid of the baby weight. She still looked beautiful to me, and at the moment all I wanted to do was touch her. All I noticed was the smell of her. Her sweet almond scent was only more appetizing to me. Her skin was so soft. I gently parted her lips with my fingers and rubbed the tip of her clit. She rested her hand on my forearm.

  “How does this feel?” I asked as I stretched myself between her legs, my destination, her sweet, pulsing g-spot. I pumped my hips a few times, stretching her pussy little by little with each back-and-forth. My shifting abilities had never come in this handy before.

  “It feels…Cleo. Oh God.”

  “Tell me,” I purred.

  “It feels really good. Really good.”

  I kissed every inch of skin I could reach. Her shoulder and her cheek. Her neck and her hair. Her soft lips until we were both gasping for air.

  I nudged her head up, and once her neck was fully exposed, I bit into her skin. Rubbing my tongue against the meter of her beating heart, I retracted my fangs the fraction of an inch necessary for the blood to flow into my mouth, holding her in the tight grip of my jaws while her body clenched and latched on to mine. I came in the moments that followed, my clit tingling as her muscles massaged my length into submission. The tremors continued, and I started to feel her orgasm rush through me, radiating out from my chest. I pulled my fangs free from her vein and sealed her skin before more than a few drops of blood could seep out, drops I savored on my lips. I lay with her, my heart thumping in rhythm with hers, loving the feeling of her skin as she rubbed her cheek against my arm.

  “Babe,” Benny said, trying to catch her breath. I kissed my way down her neck before I answered.

  “What is it, sweetheart?”

  “I will pay you to get me a glass of water. I’m so thirsty.”

  I nudged her cheek and licked her skin some more. “How about water’s on the house and I throw in a spanking? And then I’ll fuck you again.”

  Benny tilted her head back and nipped my bottom lip. “Sounds perfect to me.”

  *

  I stayed with her in bed until she was breathing lightly. I was restless, though, and had to move around the house.

  I leaned over Benny and kissed her forehead. “You sleeping?”

  “Yes.” She reached up and gently mushed my face away. I laughed behind my clenched teeth and slipped out of bed.

  The blinds in the nursery were open. I watched the moon over the street that separated us from our in-laws. Nights like this, when everything was perfect, when I knew Benny and Jillian were safe and Andrew was happily in the arms of his man, I only thought of one thing. Mama and Daddy. It’s a strange place your mind goes when things are as they should be. When you’re used to the pain, parts of you still search for it, even when you know it’s the
wrong thing to do.

  I had Omi and Mary. They’d been there for me through everything; times when Leanne was going a little overboard with decorating or shopping for baby clothes, or when Dalhem, who had lightened up a little, felt like being particularly dickheadish, they were there for me to vent. Andrew was thriving in his teaching position. The kids loved him and half the parents were in love with him, but those wonderful things didn’t stop Mama and Daddy from popping into my head. I knew Daddy was still drinking; he had to be. A strong relationship with the bottle didn’t just fade over time, and Mama wasn’t the type to ask for a change. Turning a blind eye was a way of life for her. She had Maxwell and his wife and children to focus on, Stephen to brag about, and Nat to still boss around, and she had the church. What more could she need?

  I didn’t want my human life back, but I wanted a way to reach her. I wanted to get through to my mama in some way, for Daddy’s sake. I wanted to show her how good life was for me and I wanted to hear from her mouth that I had done okay, that she was proud of me for making the best of everything that had been thrown at me.

  I latched on to little things then, the good memories like the sound of her laugh or the looks Daddy would secretly shoot me when Mama was going off on one of her gossipy tirades. I missed being with my brothers. I wished they knew Benny the way I did. I wished they had gotten a chance to meet their niece. I missed them so much it was hard not to pick at the scabs. I didn’t want to forget about them.

  I caught Benny’s scent before I heard her soft steps over the carpet. I looked over my shoulder just as she slipped her robe on.

  “What are you doing up?” I said quietly.

  “I missed you.”

  I leaned down and kissed her full lips, cupping her cheeks.

  “I have to tell you something,” Benny said. “You are an amazing mother.”

  “You think so?”

  “Yes. I mean, I’m her favorite. That much is obvious. I come loaded with food, but I see the way she looks at you and the way you look at her. You have no idea what it means to have you both.”

  “You’re sneaky, Benita. Always knowing the right thing to say.”

  “What’s wrong?”

  Honesty was our first policy, even though we both learned pretty quickly that wording does matter. “I was just thinking about Mama and Daddy.”

  “Go.” She nodded toward the window. I stared back at her in shock. I didn’t expect that command from her.

  “Go,” she said again. “I know what Omi told you, and she was right in a way, but if you have to check in on them sometimes, I understand. Go.”

  Before either of us talked me out of it, I got dressed. Cloak or not, I didn’t need to show up in my mama’s yard in my underwear. Benny watched me as I tied my sneakers.

  “I love you,” she said with slight smile.

  “I love you too.” I kissed her one more time before I vanished to Virginia.

  *

  The night air was muggy as I appeared within the trees beside Mama and Daddy’s house. I entered through Daddy’s den. I found him there in his chair. Sanford and Son was on the TV. Daddy was oddly still. I leaned down and put my finger under his nose. Accidentally, I brushed his mustache just as I felt his breath across my finger. He twitched twice before flopping back into his sleeping position. He reeked of booze. All it took was a quick glance around his chair and I found a bottle of rum that had toppled just out of the reach of his fingers. It was almost empty.

  I touched him again, intentionally this time. I patted his hand. “I’m here, Daddy,” I whispered. He snorted again. That’s when I heard Mama’s voice. I followed it into the kitchen, glancing at the clock as I stopped next to the fridge. It was almost three a.m., and she was on the phone. There were papers stacked on the table in front of her. I recognized my little brother’s face.

  “No, no. Thank you, sister. I know it’s been real hard for you too. Lord knows we appreciate your help.” She was quiet for a moment as she rubbed her forehead. “Maxwell is heading down to Atlanta with a fresh batch of posters. I’m praying we find something. I know we will.”

  Securing my cloak, I tiptoed closer. Mama glanced up briefly, but there was no recognition in her eyes. She’d seen right through me.

  I scanned the missing poster as she continued with her conversation. She moved on to church business, gossip rather. Who was still helping and who wasn’t. From the information I could read, Nathaniel had been missing for over a year. I stared at his picture, one he definitely posed for for the church directory. His shirt and tie were crisp, his facial hair nicely trimmed, and his smile as big and genuine as I’d remembered it.

  The posters were old. They had to be. There was no way my brother was still missing. I vanished up to his room.

  Nat’s room was oddly sterile and cold. A few things seemed out of place, but I could tell from the dust on his desk that nothing had been disturbed in a long time. I vanished out to the driveway, but Nat’s car wasn’t there. It was in the garage. He never parked his car in the garage. Daddy didn’t like moving his truck every time Nat had to run out somewhere. Back in the kitchen, Mama hung up the phone. I watched her as she sat at the table. She ran her fingers over the fresh stack of fliers. When she finally left the kitchen and headed toward her bedroom, I snatched the poster off the top.

  I knew one cop real well. Dewy Richwright had been sweet on Mama since they were kids. When we were growing up, every week, he and his wife could be found in the third row with their three kids. Dewy would know something. I vanished to his house and found him sound asleep. I crouched down on the floor beside his bed.

  I grabbed Dewy’s hands in my face. He was deep in a REM cycle, which would make things a lot easier.

  “Do you know where he is?”

  Dewy shook his head.

  “Are you still looking?”

  “I am,” he said sluggishly. “But the case has been pushed to the side. Bosses think he’s dead.” I knew that wasn’t true. Blood is blood, and I would have felt something if one of my kin had gone.

  “What do you think, Dewy?”

  “He’s dead.” Drool ran out of his mouth and onto my palm. I wiped it on the sheets. “But I’m gonna find him. I hafta do that much for your mama. I told her I’d bring her baby home.”

  “Can you find him?”

  “No. Not this way. Not enough time. I need more time. Your folks do what they can, but I need more help.” Of course he would.

  “Go back to sleep, Dewy.”

  “Okay. Bye, Cleo.” His reaction to me would have been humorous under any other circumstances, but this was no fucking joke. I needed to find Nathaniel. But I needed to find him alive.

  When I appeared back in our bedroom, I could barely breathe. Benny was still wake, watching TV in bed. She’d waited for me. I stared back at her, seeing the worry as it quickly spread across her face.

  “Babe? Cleo, what’s wrong?” She slid over the bed as I held out the flier to her.

  “I have to find him, Benny. I have to.”

  “Of course.” She blinked in disbelief, looking over the details there in black and white. She looked back up at me, her wide, blue eyes mirroring my own grief. “Of course. We’ll find him.”

  *

  My sister-queens took all of five minutes to rally and get over to our house. We’d woken Andrew and Bruno with the commotion, and they joined us on the bottom floor of the house to avoid the impending sunrise. They passed the flier around the room. I sat with Benny on the couch, keeping my hand busy, gently rubbing the knots in her back as she cradled a snoozing Jillian.

  “He’s not dead,” I asserted. “I would know. He’s not dead.” My sister-queens had all died at different points in their lives, but many of them left behind no family members and none of them held on to their connections the way I did.

  “She’s right,” Faeth spoke up. “I felt it when my dad passed away. I think she’d have some indication of his death when it happened.”

&nb
sp; Kina nodded to me in agreement. It was good to know I wasn’t talking crazy.

  “I know shit happens. I mean, look at all of us. Shit fucking happens, but I can’t do this to my parents. The way I died, I don’t think my daddy will make it if they lose Nat for good. He’ll drink himself to death, and I don’t know what that will really do to my mama.” She was tough, but some things people couldn’t withstand. There was only so much loss a person could handle. “Between us and, Lord knows, Dalhem, I know we can find him. Maybe we can get some demons in Virginia to help too. Maybe some feeders knew him.”

  We didn’t keep track of unbound humans. Rules dictated that we stay away from them under most circumstances. Only demons who proved they knew how to conduct themselves without revealing their true nature moved freely around humans, and even then they left plenty of work for Mary and me. But with our numbers and our powers and connections, we had to be able to find him.

  “We’ll help you any way we can,” Camila said. “We’ll get all the files on the case and you tell us everything you know about him. All his friends, where you think he would go, where you think he would be last. We’ll get our brothers to help. We will find him.”

  “None of what you believe is necessary.” I froze at the sound of Dalhem’s voice. He appeared behind Natasha, then stepped to the center of the room. His cold eyes fixed on me, but I glared right back.

  “What do you mean it’s not necessary? I have to find my brother.”

  “Your brother does not wish to be found.”

  Every drop of blood in my body rushed to my face. I pulled my arm from Benny, and I walked right up to our master. “What does that mean?”

  “I have told you, Cleopatra. Your actions have consequences you could not begin to comprehend. You owed a debt, and you have paid it with your brother’s life.”