A Cottage in the Country

by Linn B. Halton

  Terence and I both shrug our shoulders at a situation that should never have happened. Perhaps it's true that everything happens for a reason. The truth is that without the money from the sale of my mother's house it would have been difficult to have borrowed what I needed to buy Ash Cottage. At least there's a chance it might eventually go back on the market, so as soon as I've laid the walnut floors and installed the kitchen, I'll be putting all of my efforts into getting my mother's house ready to sell. I have a purchaser already lined up and I figure a couple of weeks will be enough to redecorate it throughout and upgrade the kitchen. By then Miss Brooks will be totally wrapped up in her boss's arms, for good. I'm secretly hoping that Ash Cottage will become a memory that turned out to be more of a nightmare, and she'll be only too glad to walk away from it.

  When I realised that Maddie had left Aggie's box of papers underneath the coffee table in the conservatory, I tried my best to ignore it. It unsettled me, though, and every time I walked through into the kitchen it was the first thing I saw. Eventually I grabbed a coffee and sat down with one thing in mind. If anyone had a right to go through Aggie's things it was me; we'd spent so much time together over the months and I know for a fact there wasn't anyone else that close to her. Several neighbours popped in from time to time; after all, her family had lived here for a long time. There were some relatives who probably called in at Christmas and maybe on her birthday, but I can imagine the conversation was mostly pleasantries, reminiscing and local gossip.

  Aggie and I talked, really talked about everything and anything. If she asked me a question I was honest with her; she asked because she was interested and that meant a lot to me. She once asked if I could help sort through her papers, but at the time it didn't feel right. I didn't want anyone to ever have any reason to think I was taking advantage of a lonely old lady. More often than not, when I popped in for a chat there was nothing she needed, so we'd sit and have a cup of tea and she'd talk about the past. If she wasn't well, then I'd sort her shopping. On good days she'd have a list of jobs she wanted me to do and I did them without charging her, just because it was a pleasure to help.

  Leafing through the papers it was the history of the cottage and how it had turned from a simple forest worker's dwelling into the extended version it is today. Receipts from local tradesmen now long gone reiterated the fact that Ash Cottage had always been loved. Like the layers of wallpaper Madeleine and I had stripped off the main bedroom walls, here in black and white was the proof that each decade had seen the cottage having a refresh. Even the original invoice for the kitchen, which had been hand-made by a local forester, was there. Interspersed were more personal documents, the death certificates of her father and mother were a reminder that this cottage has seen everything life has to offer. I raised my head and stared around at the silence, wondering if they were all here watching me.

  And then I found the one document, the missing link, and I knew that Aggie would be pleased that I was the one to find it. My conscience wouldn't let me simply fold it up and pocket it, so instead I slid it in between a sheaf of drawings that turned out to be the plans for the conservatory.

  We're nearly there, Aggie. A few months and I'll be living here as we originally planned.

  MADDIE

  CHAPTER 30

  If I was nervous in the car on the way to Nathan and Arlene's, it was nothing compared to walking into their beautiful, open-plan extension, purpose-built for entertaining. What was supposed to be a cosy supper party had turned into a large gathering and a sea of faces greeted us as we entered. I turned to Ryan with a look of shock, tinged with horror, on my face. He looked determined and merely shrugged.

  "I thought I'd better give them advance warning and Arlene said to leave it to her. I certainly wasn't expecting this…"

  We were a little late arriving and it seems some of the partygoers might have been here a while, because as Nathan ushered us in a little cheer went up and there was lifting of glasses. I started to sweat a little, uncomfortable about being the topic of everyone's conversation. I could imagine it, 'Have you heard? Maddie has snapped up the gorgeous Ryan. Can you imagine that?'

  "What on earth did you tell them?" I whisper out of the side of my mouth, as we follow Nathan further into the room.

  "Only that we are now officially seeing each other and that I've never been happier."

  Arlene approaches with a champagne flute in each hand and instantly moves in to air-kiss in her inimitable style. Ryan lifts them out of her hands, leaving her arms hovering somewhere behind me. She closes them in a warm, and very positive, hug.

  "Merry Christmas! And we were so thrilled to hear your news. About time, too!" There's a general muttering of approval from those watching us and it seems that everyone we work with, or have ever worked with, are here with their partners. The reaction seems positive and not the expression of disbelief that I'd expected.

  I take a sip of champagne to cover my initial embarrassment and the fact that I've been rendered speechless. Ryan jumps in, like the gentleman he is.

  "Patience is a virtue and I have waited a long time." He raises his glass to me and smiles, intimately, as if we are standing here alone and not being watched by a crowd of eyes.

  Nathan immediately raises his glass, too. "You officially wear the badge of the most infamous bachelor I know and then spring this surprise on us! I have to say, though, it couldn't happen to two nicer people. Maddie, here's to you, and may I add that you look absolutely gorgeous tonight!"

  I feel the heat rising up my neck and into my cheeks and I'm so glad that I spent time fussing over my appearance tonight. Everyone in the room has their eyes firmly fixed on me and it's nerve-wracking, but for all the right reasons.

  "He's a dark horse, that's for sure, but he's so irresistible. And he rescued me in such a dashing fashion – how could I possibly reject a man who crosses a flood to take me to safety?"

  There's a ripple of laughter and suddenly the tension begins to dissolve. I realise that the negativity is all in my head and that people who know us don't seem too surprised to hear we are a couple. A cosy, warm feeling begins to wash over me and Ryan seeks out my hand to give it a reassuring squeeze.

  "So, how is the flooding? Is the cottage safe?"

  I turn to look at Martin Howell – Ryan's right-hand man – as he approaches with his wife, Chantelle. We all shake hands, Ryan has met her before, but this is my first time.

  "The cottage is rather cold and damp, but dry. The flood has closed the top road due to a landslide and the only way in via the flooded main road is by boat. No deliveries were able to get through, so aside from the fact that the central heating isn't working, there's still no kitchen. It's pretty grim, I'm afraid."

  "That's why I charged in to rescue her." Ryan looks like a very happy man, with a big smile on his face as he glances from Martin to me. "A little bribery to get the guy with the boat to hang around and a bit of a hike – it's not an easy walk up that hill – and she was mine."

  There's another ripple of laughter as the little circle we're standing in begins to grow.

  "It's so romantic." Shelley, who works in accounts, has joined us.

  "Well, I should be back at the cottage helping out. I've left my handyman there finishing off one of the bedrooms and laying flooring. Fingers crossed the flooding subsides enough for the kitchen units to be delivered, because he has another project starting very soon. It's difficult enough that the cottage is so cold, but with no kitchen as well it's not easy living there."

  "Then you'll just have to remain as my house guest until he's finished. No point in going back until the heating is fixed, either. January is going to get even colder, apparently, and there could be snow." There's a lot of nodding of heads at Ryan's words. It sends a little shock through me. Not go back until the end of January? Confusion wraps around me, stifling my thoughts and Lewis' face appears from nowhere. Suddenly I'm back in the conservatory and we're having coffee together. It seems I missed someth
ing.

  "I said that you're lucky to find someone who is prepared to work over the holidays. It must be costing you a fortune, though. Do you have any regrets, Maddie? It sounds like it's a huge renovation project. And rather isolated, too. Wouldn't you rather be back in the middle of city life?" Shelley, bless her, is probably horrified. She's the sort of lady who wouldn't stay in anything less than a four-star hotel, and would think that was slumming it if there wasn't a spa on the doorstep and a hairdresser.

  Her words remind me that Lewis has an ulterior motive.

  "Well, the guy who is doing the work thought he'd be the new owner of the property. He just missed out, so his diary was unexpectedly free. Besides, his mother died recently and it must be tough to get through the Christmas period when you don't feel like celebrating." As I say the words it tugs at my heart. Of course he wanted to be on his own and no wonder my inane chatter frayed his nerves.

  "Sounds like he'll step in with an offer if Ash Cottage is suddenly on the market again," Martin looks pointedly at Ryan, who immediately responds.

  "Hey guys, ease up. I told Maddie we'd take this slowly. I think she's fallen in love with the cottage and I can't blame her, it's in a beautiful spot."

  I'm beginning to feel a little uncomfortable that people are already making assumptions. I understand that our situation is unusual: we know each other very well, but as a couple we are still brand new. That's what they don't see, the unknown territory that lies between friendship and a full-blown relationship. Ryan is trying to deflect the questions, but what will happen in the future? I love Ash Cottage and yet I know the appeal just isn't there for Ryan, no matter what he says to stem the conversation. His house is just that: his. I feel like a guest in it, which I am. He would never move to the Forest, but would I move back to the city?

  I tune back into the conversation and Ryan has managed to change the subject. He's talking about work and there's a heated discussion going on. I hope I smile and laugh in the right places, because I'm not really listening. My mind can't stop thinking about the future and what's to come.

  When we eventually leave it's late and walking out into the chilly night air is refreshing. I let out a deep breath, drawing in another to clear my head. I didn't even finish my first glass of champagne, but I suppose all the nervous energy has an effect. It's not raining and the stars are out, a reminder that there's so much more to the universe than the little bubble we live in. In the grand scheme of things, tonight is just one tiny step.

  "Sorry, that wasn't such a great idea, was it? I hadn't thought it through properly."

  Ryan stops, folds his arms around me and looks down at me with eyes that melt my heart.

  "It's just that I want everyone to know that you're mine, now. I keep talking about taking it slowly, but in here," he raises my hand and places it against his chest, "I want to move you into the house and keep you there forever."

  I lean into him, my forehead nestling just under his chin.

  "A little cottage in the country isn't your thing, is it?"

  "No, if I'm honest with you. Great for a holiday one week every year, but it's a big, wide world out there. So many exotic locations to visit – so many wonderful places. I want to revisit them with you by my side."

  At last I have someone in my life who really does care enough to worry about what I'm thinking. I'm so used to being taken for granted that I'd forgotten what it felt like to be the centre of someone else's world. I know I can make Ryan happy and fill that sense of loneliness that was always there, lurking just beneath the surface. He masked it well, living a life so full that there wasn't time to dwell on it and that's why it was never really visible. He's ready to make a commitment sooner rather than later.

  "The thought of letting Ash Cottage go is hard for me."

  He inclines his head, tilting my chin with his finger so he can look into my eyes.

  "But you'd let it go to be with me?" It's a question, but the forcefulness of his tone means it's also a prompt.

  "Yes, because it's my dream, not our dream. But your house doesn't feel like our home, either. I know how long and hard you've worked to turn it into a beautiful statement and a place that is truly stunning. I'm enjoying my stay, it's wonderful, but I'm only a house guest and I don't think that feeling will ever go away."

  "It's only bricks and mortar, Maddie. To me it's an investment, no more, and no less. I'd give it up tomorrow for you. We need to plan our future together and that means every little thing, including where we're going to live."

  "But it's complicated, Ryan. I have the boys and, next summer, a grandchild. The cottage is my investment for their future, I'm just the custodian."

  He pulls me in close, hugging me tightly and with an intensity that almost takes my breath away. When he releases me, the look I see is one of determination.

  "Heck, give them their inheritance now and I'll take care of you for the rest of our lives. I have elderly parents, no siblings and no children. Unless I get married, I have no one to whom I can leave the trappings of my life's work. Sad, isn't it?"

  "This isn't what we should be talking about, Ryan. I'm sorry I brought it up." I wasn't looking for assurance that he'd support me, quite the reverse. I'm not sure I want to give up my independence when it's still so new.

  "No, don't do this to me, Maddie, don't put up barriers. You've just been through a horrendous divorce and freedom is scary, but liberating. Of course, I understand that. You gave up everything for your family, but this is the stage in your life when you can finally think about what's best for you. Your sons are grown and they want you to be happy. Whatever happens going forward, we have to be in complete agreement about it. I'm laying my cards on the table, here. I want to marry you because it's the one thing in life I've always longed for, someone to come home to at the end of the day. I want to build a life with you because I love you and always have done. I only ask one thing. Don't tell me you love me until you are completely, and unequivocally, certain about how you feel. That's why we are going to take this one day at a time and that's why I won't make love to you until I know you are certain, too. You have a little catching up to do on that front, my darling. But mostly I feel it's about confidence, because Nathan was right. You are absolutely gorgeous, only you don't know it."

  He searches for my hands, raising them in his to keep them warm and lifting them to his lips for one brief moment.

  Suddenly I'm no longer this fifty-year-old, sad woman whose husband cheated on her and whose figure will never again be described as svelte. Ryan is honouring me with his love and leaving me in doubt whatsoever that he's prepared to make a long-term commitment. I couldn't feel more alive than I do right now, as we aren't just two young, inexperienced kids, giving something a try. We're seasoned veterans of life, who have a good idea of what we're looking for when it comes to a partner. This really is going to be the next chapter for me and – surprise, surprise – this has turned out to be the best Christmas ever!

  All thoughts are waved away as he holds my face between his hands and his warm, loving kiss seals the deal.

  CHAPTER 31

  The days between Christmas and New Year fly by, each a little better than the one before. Ryan and I concentrate on simply getting used to being around each other twenty-four-seven. I know it would drive many people mad, but we find ourselves laughing a lot and relaxing without the eyes of the world upon us.

  There's only one problem. I still haven't told him about Lewis, even though I've tried – really I've tried. Every time I make the decision that now is the moment to reveal everything, something happens to send the conversation off-course.

  I've left several messages for Lewis on his phone, but he never replies. They are basically checking he's okay and apologising for not being able to say exactly when I'll be back. I thought maybe he would want to let me know what was happening and whether the kitchen units had eventually arrived. If they haven't, then I suspect he's already locked up and gone on his way, eager to make a s
tart on his mother's house. I wouldn't blame him, but I owe him quite a lot of money and I feel uncomfortable about that. What if he needed it to buy materials for his own job – and here I am, selfishly playing house with Ryan. I have to stop myself from thinking about Lewis, Ash Cottage and renovation hell. It's the only way I can deal with it for the moment. Besides, Ryan is the best distraction.

  It's New Year's Eve and we are curled up on the sofa as Ryan searches for a film for us to watch on his sixty-inch TV.

  "Murder, horror, sci-fi, romance…" He flicks through from section to section, pausing briefly as I shake my head. Then up pops Love Actually and I must have blinked or changed my expression because he's looking at me, knowingly.

  "I could go for a bit of romance, I suppose." He sounds begrudging, but I notice he's quick enough to press start and turn up the volume. He points the remote at the full-length curtains and they gracefully sweep along the track, blocking out the wintry sunshine.

  As the music strikes up and the opening credits start to roll, something about all of those images of people meeting and greeting – hugging as you do when you've really missed someone you love – brings tears to my eyes. In the gloom I assume Ryan can't see them.

  "You're eyes are glistening and it hasn't even begun yet. How many times have you watched this particular film?"

  I nestle a little closer to him, letting his arm drape around my shoulder for comfort.

  "Maybe once or twice, or perhaps a dozen times – I lose count. How about you?"

  "This is my first time, so I hope it's not a tear-jerker. I'm a sucker for a sad ending and it's not true that real men don't cry. I've watched The Sixth Sense."

  The way Ryan says that suddenly sounds extremely funny and I have no idea if he's joking or not, but I can't stop myself laughing.