The Tale of Nefret

by M. L. Bullock

  “Are you sure?”

  I shook my head over and over, clutching my face where she’d struck me. The shock of the assault had surprised me enough to stun me silent.

  Mina did not speak, but she came to me and took my hand. She shook her head at Pah and defiantly stood between us. Pah snorted at me derisively and said, “I will win this, and you will leave. Save yourself some embarrassment if that is possible. Leave now, Nefret. I am telling you, you should leave now! If you do not, you will always regret it.” I felt a slight shift in the air around us. It was as if in the otherworld, the words had been repeated, written down forever in eternity’s library. With a wave of her hand she stormed out, leaving me gaping after her.

  Mina picked up the coins and placed them in my hands, folding my fingers over them. She leaned forward, and I thought she would break her vow and speak to me. She had done so earlier when she sang for us; perhaps she was allowed to sing for us. I didn’t know. Nevertheless, she did not speak to me now. She leaned her forehead against mine and hummed a haunting tune that I didn’t remember but certainly felt as if I knew. It comforted me. She swayed to the sound of her song and gathered me into her arms. It reminded me of the mother I had never known. I laid my head on her shoulder. All of the fear, the grief, the uncertainty erupted into sobs. I cried until I could not cry anymore. When I was done, she took me by the hand and led me to the door. With a kind smile she left, and I walked out behind her.

  “Nefret, your tent is this way.” Alexio waited for me outside. I stumbled, making the coins jingle in my pocket as I walked behind him. I hoped no one stopped me—I wanted no one to see my sister’s handprint on my face.

  “Wait. Where are we going?”

  “I am taking you to your new tent. Pah remains in your old one.”

  I had forgotten about that. For the first time in my life I would spend the night by myself. Thankfully, my friend did not interrogate me or scold me as he had earlier. The camp was quiet, much quieter than it had been just a short time ago. People moved out of the way as we walked through the short grass to my new home, for however long that might be. No matter what had happened today, I did not believe that I would win. In my heart of hearts, I truly did not. Pah was the better warrior, the bravest, the most determined. I could tell a good story and had some skill with a bow, but that was it. What was I thinking?

  I did not linger outside the tent. I was anxious to be alone, away from the curious eyes of my people—and Alexio. “Thank you,” I muttered as I slipped inside. My new tent was smaller than the one I had shared with my sister, but it was no less comfortable. Someone, no several someones, had been very busy making everything tidy for me. Suddenly, I remembered my treasure and ran to the neat pile of my personal belongings. Reaching for my mother’s robe with shaking fingers, I untied the cord that I had bound it with. The necklace tumbled out of the sumptuous fabric and into my hands. Nobody had found it! I clutched it close; the metal felt cool and then warmed under my touch. So unusual, so rare. I couldn’t help but wonder what treasure this was—perhaps it had magical powers. Adding my coins to the robe, I placed the necklace back inside and rolled it up again.

  I collapsed on my cool blanket and rolled on my back, closing my eyes. Today seemed like a nightmare. If I tried hard enough, perhaps I would wake up. I rolled over on my side; my eyes felt heavy and soon I fell asleep.

  I dreamed that I was in Zerzura. At least I thought it was Zerzura.

  I wore white sandals and anklets of gold. I walked through the streets of the city, the walls white and shining bright in the morning sun. I heard the happy chants of my people saying, “Bless our mekhma! She is our treasure!” I felt a cascade of flower petals falling upon me as people tossed basketfuls of scented blooms down from structures high above me. I had never seen such a place! What walls! Surely giants had built these! The flowers tickled my face, and I brushed at them with my hand…I awoke in my own tent. Hanging above me, secreted in the cedar timbers that supported my tent, was a cluster of purple flowers. The petals had fallen onto my face as I slept.

  Alexio! He must have hung them there when the tent was constructed. I smiled at the sight—what a thoughtful gift!

  Someone must have visited me while I slept because a tray of bread, cheese, fruits and a pitcher of clear water waited for me on a nearby table. I ate hungrily, toying with the flower petals and daydreaming about life as Alexio’s wife. It could never be; he was pledged to serve his tribe as husband to Farafra. I would serve my destiny in my own way, whether here or cast out in the sand sea. A lump rose in my throat as I devoured the warm, chewy bread and gulped down the water.

  “It’s time, Nefret. The trials continue.” I looked up to see Alexio at the door of my tent.

  “Have you heard? We will follow the Old Ways.”

  He nodded and strode toward me, his arms outstretched. I stood and fell into them. I didn’t cry or make a sound. I clung to him like I was standing in quicksand and he was the only thing that could save me. We were so close; I could feel his heart beating through his tunic.

  “You must win, Nefer-nefer.” I smiled at hearing him use the name only he called me. “You have to win.” Never had he hugged me so. In fact, we rarely touched, much less hugged. It was a bittersweet moment, to be so close to one destiny but commanded to seek another.

  Alexio had been right all along. Pah was lost to me. I had to fight, not because I wanted my sister to lose but because I wanted to live. She had made it clear that she did not want any help from me. So be it. The gods would have their way after all, and there was nothing I could do about it.

  Chapter Five

  The Painted Stones—Nefret

  I stepped away from Alexio, straightened my clothing and poured some water in a shallow bowl. I washed my face and patted it with a towel. “Are they all there?”

  “Yes, all but you and your sister.”

  “Very well. Let’s go.” I ducked out of my tent and held my head high as we walked back through the crowd. Apparently, word that the loser would be banished had traveled around the camp. Even my children had gathered to see me. I smiled at them as they whispered, “Mekhma Nefret.” No sense in playing coy now. I had won the first trial, and now I faced the second.

  I wondered what the trial would be, but I did not bother to ask Alexio. He would not know, and I was not in the mood to speculate. As we approached the tent, the guards stepped out of the way and pulled back the flap for me. Alexio did not follow me in. Pah sat where she had sat before, her hands resting perfectly in her lap. I quickly sat beside her and faced the Council. I noticed that our father had not returned to the proceedings, which unsettled me.

  Orba said, “Welcome back, daughters of Semkah. Let us proceed with our matter. Today you will show us your skills in intuition and strength. Before each of you is a row of stones.” Mina removed the linen cloth to reveal the carefully arranged stones. There were seven in each row, each round and smooth. He continued, “There are times when a mekhma must rely upon her intuition alone. She should be strong and confident in her decision-making. She must also be able to speak to the gods to search out a matter and choose wisely. You have the same number of stones in front of you; each set has three stones with painted symbols on the bottoms. Each of you will take a turn uncovering the stones until one of you reveals all three of your symbols. You must prove the strength of your connection to the gods—and your intuition. Since Nefret went first the last time, Pah, you will go first now.”

  Looking confident, Pah nodded. She had changed her garments and unbound her hair; her long auburn tresses flowed behind her like a shimmering copper waterfall. She bowed down on the carpet, just as I had seen her do each night as she prayed to her many beloved deities. As she did so, I studied the rocks, looking for clues but seeing none. Finally Pah rose and selected a rock. She turned it over to reveal a red painted figure. She cast a sidelong glance at me, and I could see a smile curl on her lips.

  How could I win this trial? I nev
er prayed! Not to gods or ancestors; I sometimes talked to my mother, but she never spoke to me. I only worshiped when the tribe did. I had no connection to any god, nor would I pretend now that I did. It appeared as if my rebellious heart would cost me more than I could have imagined. Biting my lip, I stared at the stones and turned one over. Nothing. My heart sank.

  My sister bowed herself to the ground again and entreated Hathor to guide her this time. She rose and selected another rock, which showed another red figure. Raising the rock over her head, she laughed. Apparently, the gods and goddesses were aligned against me. All eyes were on me as I stared at the stones. Looking at each one, I listened to my inner voice this time and finally decided on a stone. I guessed correctly, which surprised even me. I tossed the rock over and kept my focus on the remaining rocks.

  Pah did not bow or beseech her deity aloud this time. She closed her eyes, and her upper body swayed slightly as if she were under some kind of spell or hearing music that no one else could hear. This continued for at least a full minute, but no one said anything to her. Stone-faced, the Council waited patiently for the anni-mekhma to make her decision. A cold shiver ran down my spine. Finally, with a dramatic nod of acknowledgement to some unseen voice, she reached for a rock and showed it to the Council. So confident was she that she did not even look—she flashed a joyous smile. When the Council did not applaud she turned the rock over to see for herself. The stone had nothing on it! Pah appeared confused and angry. She tossed the rock to the ground and glared at me as if I had something to do with her results.

  My hand flew to my heart as the seriousness of the moment overwhelmed me. Calling upon my intuition, I studied the surfaces of the stones. Again, they gave me no clue. I reached for one but felt an unexpected disquiet rise in my spirit. No. Not that one. I touched the stone directly in front of me. No affirmation came, but no warning arose either. Holding my breath, I picked it up and turned it over to see my results. I did it! The Council politely gave their approval, and then their attention refocused on my sister.

  Pah again began to pray and beseech Hathor for guidance. Less confident now, she ran her hands along the row of stones as if she could detect their undersides with just her palm. With a cool smile she touched a stone and flipped it over. Nothing! It was bare! Shocked, I turned my attention back to the stones. I did not pray aloud, but my mind pleaded for help.

  I am Nefret, daughter of Kadeema and Semkah. If you ever loved me or cared for me, help me now…

  Time seemed to slow as I stared at each stone. I reached for one and heard a small, still voice speak in my head.

  No!

  I drew my hand back with a gasp.

  With shaking fingers I reached toward the next stone.

  NO! I heard again, louder this time. I was surprised that no one else could hear the voice. Withdrawing my hand, I reached for the last stone in the row and heard nothing. Not a whisper. I picked it up and stared at the bottom. The sign of the Dancing Man was painted there, and I turned the stone around to show it to the Council. With loud trills and whistles, they celebrated. I won another round of the trials! Pah’s face was like glass, hard and unmoving. I knew underneath her mask she fumed. I knew her too well to think otherwise, but the knowledge did not bring me joy.

  “Come now.” Farrah rose from the carpet and beckoned us to follow her. “Let us see who is the strongest. This trial is not over yet, Pah, Nefret. The tribe is waiting.”

  Without a word of congratulations or anything else, Pah stepped in front of me and followed Farrah and the Council out of the tent. I heard someone call, “Nefret has won the round!” I tried not to smile at our father, who lined the path with the other members of our tribe. Some shouted Pah’s name, and others shouted mine, but our father looked sad. I had not thought much about it before, but Father would lose no matter who won. He was not an affectionate man, not as some fathers were, but at times he spoke kindly to us and often gave us gifts. Some of the older women said that when Kadeema disappeared, she took all of his love with her. I did not know what to believe. Pah had the idea that Father loved me more, but in that she was wrong. I was sure of it.

  Now, Father looked more distressed than I ever remembered. One daughter would be cast out of the tribe—for the first time, I selfishly hoped it wasn’t me. I kept my head down and followed behind Pah.

  We stopped at the end of the camp. Someone had set up an array of short spears, and two bows with quivers full of arrows lay on the ground. I recognized my bow immediately, and seeing it made me more confident.

  “Daughters of the tribe, Pah and Nefret. We thank you for your willingness to prove yourselves worthy to be mekhma. You honor us. Now, show us your strength!” The crowd cheered for us, and the Council clapped respectfully. Without an argument about who would go first, Pah walked to the edge of the prepared field and waved at the viewers. They clapped for her, women trilled and children chanted her name. Aitnu, the tribe’s most prominent warrior, walked to her and gave her instructions. Alexio stood near me at the edge of the crowd. Our eyes did not meet, but his presence encouraged me.

  Poised and confident, Pah picked up the short spear. Without much effort she adjusted her grip and walked back from the target. Like a dancer, she stepped and spun, sending the spear soundly to its mark. The gathering clapped in admiration, tambourines shook and music played. Pah’s beautiful hair shimmered as she reached for another spear from the stand. Her lovely face revealed nothing, but I knew she was pleased with her performance. If I had not been her opponent, I would have cheered for her too.

  This time, Pah walked further away from the target. The crowd whispered, and Aitnu appeared unhappy. My sister was obviously not following instructions. Even for Pah, this would be no easy shot. Again, she spun on her strong legs and lunged, sending the spear down the track. I watched the gleaming wood flash in the sun as it pierced the massive sandbag. More cheers for Pah erupted as she removed the last spear from the stand. She walked to the end of the path, which was marked with a bright flag. Playfully, she balanced the spear in her hand and walked back even further. She was showing off, showing our tribe that she was the stronger sister, the braver one, the more daring of the two of us. I could have told her she need not have worried. Everyone already knew that Pah was stronger than me. The crowd whispered; I could not hear what they said, but I knew they were impressed.

  She spun about, stepped twice and threw her body forward, sending the spear toward its intended mark. The spear arced and sailed through the air, falling a few feet in front of the target. She missed! Nobody clapped, but I had no illusions about what happened. I glanced at Alexio. He gave me a resolute stare, and I got the message.

  “Nicely done, sister,” I said as she passed me.

  “Good luck to you, Nefret,” she purred proudly. I waited as the son of Aitnu retrieved the thrown spears and returned them to their stand.

  My palms were sweaty as soon as I picked up the spear. It was not my weapon of choice, and it felt heavy and clunky in my hand. Nevertheless, I walked to the marker and stood staring at the target, which seemed to rest on the other side of the desert. Gripping the weapon, I ran back and then forward two steps, arched my back and released the spear into the sky. It whizzed to the target and hit it near the bottom. My throwing technique was not as efficient as Pah’s, and I had no dancing skills, but I could do this. If I stayed focused and didn’t attempt fancy shots as my sister had, I could at least finish without shaming our father.

  Tambourines shook, and some of my tribe supported me with cheers and applause. Especially vocal were my children, led by Paimu. With a sigh of relief, I picked up the second spear and walked back to the throwing line. I spoke to that inner voice again: Help me! I heard nothing and decided that what I had heard earlier was my own imagination. The setting sun cast vivid colors on the horizon, and time slipped by as I gauged the target again. I stepped back, then forward, arched my back and threw. I gasped as the spear blew past the target and landed with a thud in
the sand. The crowd grew quiet, and I did not wait for their applause for none would be coming. With the last spear in my hand, I walked back to the line. I tucked a wayward strand of hair behind my ear, stepped back, then forward using the strength of my whole body to launch the spear this time. This time the spear landed in the center of the sandbag, and my tribe cheered with excitement. I tried not to look but stole another glance at Alexio, who smiled at me. I noticed that Aitnu hung close by my sister and whispered to her as she watched me. She nodded her head and frowned.

  Farrah announced, “This round has ended in a tie!” She clapped, her colorful bracelets rattling. She raised her hands, encouraging the crowd to cheer loudly for the anni-mekhmas. “Now we shall watch as the daughters of Semkah show us the power of their bows!” More applause erupted from the gathering as my sister and I took our spots on the line.

  “Do you think you have a chance at beating me?” Pah taunted me quietly as we stood side by side strapping on our quivers. I nocked an arrow, released it and watched it zip to the sandbag.

  “Yes, I do. You are a show-off, Pah. You make mistakes.”

  She hissed at me and followed my arrow with one of her own. There were seven arrows in each of our quivers; for each pull of my bow, Pah matched me perfectly. No arrows missed. No arrows fell short. When the first round was spent, Aitnu instructed us to walk back and refire our refreshed arsenal. It would make the trial more challenging, but I felt confident that I could manage the distance. My arms began to burn a little as I took shot after shot at the sandbags. Pah and I did not miss a shot.

  “It is clear that the daughters of Semkah are both strong women,” Farrah said to the crowd. “But now we shall see another demonstration. Aitnu, prepare to release the birds. Now, Pah and Nefret, show us again your skill with the bow. The first to strike the bird with an arrow will win this round.”

  Pah’s face crumpled. She cared nothing for children and had even less care for adults, but birds she loved with all her being. How many wounded birds had she healed, with help from Father? Even now she had a cage of tiny songbirds in her tent. At times it seemed as if she spoke their language. Aitnu’s son handed us a fresh batch of arrows. These were longer, with shorter tufts of feathers that would help the arrow scurry along to its intended victim. My arrows had bright red feathers and Pah’s were blue, presumably to help the Council determine who delivered the winning shot if there was any question. I hoped that if I was lucky enough to strike a bird it would die quickly and not suffer.