Chaos (The Realmwalker Chronicles Book 1)

by C. M. Fenn

  “Well, she’ll be the first to tell you that she stole both the number one AND the number two rankings this year.”

  “No way,” is all I can say. I think of what it would be like to have that ability. I could make myself look like anyone. I could be taller. I’ve always wanted to be taller. And have blue eyes like my mom and sister. Or green like my dad. The possibilities are endless.

  Ember brings me out of my fantasy. “Simone’s always changing. Even in Chaos. She’s a different woman every week it seems. Only those of us who were here when she first arrived know what she actually looks like.”

  “Why change so much though? Is she not happy with any of her looks?” I ask.

  Ember laughs. “She’s thrilled with her looks. She knows she’s beautiful. As to why she’s always changing, well, I have a theory.” She grins at Sam and wiggles her eyebrows at him. He looks away and ignores her.

  “What am I missing?” I ask the two of them.

  “Well, when Simone first got here, it was Sam that came to her rescue. He swooped in like a knight in shining armor. She’s been crazy for him ever since.” I look at Sam to see his reaction. He watches the people ice-skating as if we aren’t talking about him.

  If this was true and Simone was in love with Sam, I couldn’t really blame her. He’s a strong, good-looking guy. He isn’t trying to deny any of this, so it must be true. Wow. So Sam can have his choice of any version of Simone? That could be pretty tempting for a guy.

  “Only problem is,” Ember says, watching Sam, “Boss isn’t interested.” I turn and watch Sam again. He seems to be watching one of the families out on the ice. “She keeps changing her appearance, hoping one of them will strike his fancy. It’s kind of sad, really, and pathetic. She can change her outside all she likes, but she can’t ever change the ugliness inside of her.”

  “All right, Ember, that’s enough,” Sam admonishes.

  “Sorry, Boss,” Ember says, not looking sorry at all.

  “Um,” I begin but hesitate, not wanting to upset Sam. He indicates for me to go ahead. “Can I ask, why does she seem so …”

  “Mean?” Ember asks.

  “Yeah. I mean I don’t even know her, but I’m pretty sure she hates me.”

  Ember looks at Sam expectantly.

  Sam sighs and says, “We don’t really understand where the attitude comes from. Although some of us think Simone lashes out at others because of her insecurity.”

  Did I hear him right? What could someone like Simone have to be insecure about?

  “I know what you’re thinking,” Sam says. “But you don’t know the whole story. Simone’s been working really hard with Angel, but so far her shape-shifting ability seems to be the only one she has. There isn’t a whole lot she can do with that to fend off Shades.”

  “Oh,” I say as it dawns on me. I understand now. She feels useless. I can definitely relate to that. I try to imagine what it must be like for her, surrounded by Walkers with incredible abilities and all she can do is change her appearance.

  Ember shrugs. “That still doesn’t give her the right to be a total bi-”

  “Ember!” Sam snaps, giving her a look of disappointment.

  Ember sighs submissively. “All right, all right. Anyway, I came to Chaos right before Simone. It’s been almost four years now for me,” She beams proudly.

  “What’s your last name?” I ask her, feeling dumb for not asking earlier.

  “Ember McGinnis, at your service.” She salutes me. “Well, I used to be Amber McGinnis, but I took the privilege of slightly altering my first name once I discovered my abilities.”

  “Wow, like, legally?”

  She winks at me. “It’s official.”

  “Well, I think it suits you.” I smile. “And you can control fire. And isn’t there something else you can do? Something about auras or mojo or something?”

  She laughs. “Mojo! That’s funny.” Even Sam cracks a smile. “Yes, I can see people’s auras when I want to. It isn’t a super-useful skill, really, but it can help in knowing a person’s personality or countenance.” She puts an arm around me and pulls me into a side hug. “That’s how I knew you and I were going to be best friends. Your aura says a lot about you.”

  Ember had said my aura was a sunny yellow. “So, what do the colors tell you?” I ask, still a little confused.

  “Well, it’s not so much the colors as it is the brightness,” she explains. “The colors only tell me a little about the personality of the person. That’s not nearly as important as the countenance. For example, you’re a bright yellow. So bright, in fact, it’s almost distracting. It’s like stepping out into the sun after being indoors all day. It’s so bright it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust.”

  “And that’s good?” I ask self-consciously.

  “That’s very good. Where someone’s hue tends to go with their personality, their brightness directly correlates with the quality of their character. I guess you could call it their morality scale.”

  “So if I was dark, we probably wouldn’t be friends?”

  “If you were dark, you would not be a Walker. That’s for sure.” I’m starting to really wish I had this ability. How cool would it be to know if someone you just met is trustworthy or not. “How about the rest of the Walkers? Are they all bright too?”

  “Yep. You’re right up there with the brightest. In fact, I’ve only seen one person brighter, and that’s Angel.”

  This intrigues me. “I’m no Mother Theresa,” I say, making her laugh more.

  “I’ve never seen her in person, so I wouldn’t really know! Actually, you and Sam are both the same brightness.” Sam and I look at each other. I strain my eyes trying to see even an inkling of what Ember’s talking about.

  “What color is he?” I ask, not taking my eyes off his.

  “Guess,” she says. Oh great. This is some kind of test and if I fail, does it mean I really don’t know Sam at all? I look into his eyes and I’m drowning in ice-blue waters. My first instinct is to say the color of his eyes, but before I open my mouth to guess, I hesitate. While the color is mind-numbingly beautiful, it’s a cold color.

  I close my eyes and imagine Sam—how I feel when I’m around him. I remember this morning under the tree in my yard. I can still feel the warmth of his arm on mine. Sam’s not an icy cold blue. He’s warm. Everything about him says warmth and comfort. I open my eyes.

  “Red.”

  Sam’s eyes widen marginally. Ember coughs as she chokes on her soda. After clearing her throat and catching her breath, she turns to me.

  “How did you know that?” She seems really impressed. “Can you see it? His aura?”

  “No, I can’t see it,” I say embarrassed. “It was only a guess.”

  She shakes her head, bewildered. “And a lucky one. I never thought you’d get it.”

  Sam’s still staring hard at me, contemplatively. My cheeks warm under his scrutiny, and I search for a way to change the subject.

  “So, who came before you, Ember?” I ask her.

  “The Wizard,” she says.

  “You said that’s what everyone calls Ben, right?”

  “Yes. Ben Miller. He’s a twenty-six-year-old Londoner. He’s incredibly intelligent. He understands everything there is to know about everything. He’s also our resident IT guy—as in information technology,” Ember explains.

  “Is he the one who got you guys, I mean us, access to the satellites?” I ask them.

  Sam nods his head. “He’s a technical genius.”

  “And he and Mel are dating?” I ask.

  Ember smiles warmly. “Yes. He fell head over heels for her the second she came to Chaos. It didn’t take much convincing on her part either. It’s funny—they don’t look like they fit together, but they’re two peas in a pod.” The thought of Mel happy and in love makes me smile.

  “Addy?” I hear my name a short distance away. Startled, I turn to see who called me. My brain stops functioning as I see Kevin Lud
low standing ten feet away from our table.

  Chapter 15

  Kevin is looking at me and smiling uncertainly. I think he’s trying to decide whether to come over or not. He’s holding the hand of a four-year-old girl who’s tugging wildly at his arm. I know I should be smiling and greeting him but I’m completely at a loss for words. I’m sure he’s heard everything we’ve said about Chaos, and now he thinks I’m a huge freak and is going to tell everyone.

  “Come on Kevin! I want some cotton candy!” The four year old screams as she tugs on his arm. She has dimples just like him.

  “Stop, Millie, or I won’t buy you anything,” he scolds her as he walks to our table. I realize my fear of being overheard is paranoid thinking. Still I’m worried about how to introduce Sam and Ember and am still searching for words when he gets to us.

  “Hey Addy,” Kevin says to me. “How are you?” He briefly looks at Ember and Sam. I’m really wishing I didn’t blush so easily as I’m reminded of how cute he is.

  I finally find my voice. “Hi Kevin.” I smile back. “I’m really good! Thanks.” Ember gently nudges my elbow with hers. “Oh! These are my friends Ember and Sam.” I indicate each in turn. Kevin nods at them and says hi. “Is this your little sister?” I ask, smiling at the cute little girl holding his hand. She sticks her tongue out at me and turns her back on us with a “hmph.”

  “Millie!” Kevin chastises. “Yeah, sorry. She’s having one of those days,” he apologizes.

  Ember and I laugh. “It’s all right,” I say. “I’d be grumpy too if I had to wait for cotton candy.” This earns me a sideways look of curiosity from the girl.

  “Yeah, she’s pretty used to getting what she wants,” he says. “Anyway, it was good seeing you, Addy.” His smile and casual use of my name makes me a little dizzy. Ember has to nudge me again to clear my head enough to respond.

  Smiling, I say, “You too, Kevin. I’ll see you at school Monday.” He waves bye to Ember and Sam and flashes me one last heart-stopping smile as he heads to the snack counter.

  “Well played,” Ember says sarcastically.

  I roll my eyes. “Yeah, I’m not so good with stuff like that,” I say quietly. Embarrassed, I look from Ember to Sam. Sam is still staring at the back of Kevin’s head from across the room.

  “He’s super-cute, Addy! He seems really nice too,” Ember says. “Are you guys friends?”

  “I don’t really know him that well. He’s in my fifth hour but we’ve only talked a couple times.”

  “Hmm,” Ember muses. “We’ll have to fix that.” She smiles conspiratorially.

  “So,” Sam interrupts, “before Ben, there was Harmony Tanner.” It takes my mind a minute to pick up where we left off before.

  “Angel,” I say. “She must have been so young.” I’m still unable to accept it.

  “She was five. I found her sitting cross-legged right outside the door to Major Calm. She had found the place on her own.” Sam grins at the memory.

  “She was just sitting there, waiting for someone to greet her. When I first saw her, she looked up at me and smiled. She said ‘Hi Sam, it’s a pleasure to meet you.’”

  I try to imagine what it would be like to hear that coming from a five year old. All I can think of is the petulant Millie we’d met a few moments ago.

  “Angel must be really special.”

  “She really is,” Ember agrees.

  “So I’m pretty sure I understand her ability. What else is there to know about Angel?”

  “Not a whole lot, really,” Sam says. “We hardly know anything about her. We don’t even know where she lives though we’re pretty sure it’s somewhere in America.”

  “Really? How come?”

  “She’s just a kid. I can imagine she wants to live her life top-side as free from Chaos as she can,” Ember says.

  I think about it and it makes sense to me. I can’t imagine what it must be like for her being so young. I don’t blame her for wanting to enjoy her childhood. Besides, I doubt her parents would be thrilled to find out their nine-year-old daughter is secretly fighting demon Shades every night.

  “Mikhail came before Angel,” Sam says. As I think of the quiet Russian, a dozen questions come to mind.

  “That’s right,” Ember says. “He’s been in Chaos almost as long as you, Sam.” Sam nods.

  It’s quiet for a while as I wait for them to continue. The mood feels different, and they both seem reluctant to go on.

  “Actually,” Ember continues, “Angel, Mikhail, and Faye all came within a month of each other.”

  “Wow. Is that unusual?” I ask.

  “Yes, very,” Ember says somberly. Sam is staring hard at a scratch in the tabletop. He seems to be far away in thought, maybe remembering something. “About seven years ago, there was a terrible accident in Chaos,” she looks at Sam with sorrow in her eyes. The silence is deadening as I wait for her to go on.

  “One of the sealers made a mistake on the wardings that guard Major Calm. Lesser Shades found the weak spot, and thinking it was a way into Earth Realm, swarmed through.” She’s speaking so quietly now I have to strain to hear her. “The Walkers were caught completely off guard. Almost everyone was awake top-side, leaving their bodies in Chaos completely defenseless. It was a massacre.”

  I stare in horror at Ember. I can’t even imagine how awful that must have been. I think of how terrified I was at the thought of losing Mel the other day. To lose multiple Walkers? It was unthinkable.

  “Six Walkers died that day. In the month that followed there was a surge of new Walkers. I guess the ‘powers-that-be’ recognized the need and issued more calls.”

  I watch Sam’s face as he stares off into space, reliving whatever horror that day held. There’s sadness there. I wish I could comfort him. Underneath the pain in his eyes, I can see strength—and a righteous anger that must come from having lived through such an event. I fight tears back for the loss of those Walkers. I never knew them but I know that we are all connected in a way. We sit in silence for a while. I can’t think of any words to say that wouldn’t sound frivolous and inadequate.

  After a short time Sam clears his throat. “Mikhail Kozlow is Russian. He’s twenty-two.” Though he still seems subdued, the moment of sadness has mostly passed.

  Eager to move the conversation along, I ask, “What’s his story?” Ember and Sam do that thing again where they exchange a silent conversation with a single look. They still seem reluctant to talk about Mikhail. Confused, I ask, “What is it?”

  “Um,” Ember starts awkwardly, “Mikhail is just … different.”

  “Yeah, he seems kind of shy,” I say. They both avoid eye contact with me. “What? Is it more than that?”

  “It’s difficult to explain Mikhail,” Sam says quietly. “He keeps to himself, so no one really knows him.”

  This doesn’t make sense. He’s a Realmwalker like the rest of us. Doesn’t that make him family? “Has anyone tried to get to know him?”

  “Of course,” Ember explains. “But it’s like talking to a brick wall. He shuts down … or disappears.”

  “Maybe he doesn’t have any people skills,” I try.

  “I don’t know.” Ember shakes her head. “He doesn’t even try. Plus, he puts out a really strange vibe.”

  “What do you mean? He didn’t seem strange to me,” I say in his defense. “Besides, he can’t be that bad if he’s a Walker, right?”

  “Well,” Sam says grudgingly, “there HAVE been Walkers in the past who’ve gone sour. Being a Walker doesn’t imply sainthood. We have the agency to choose right from wrong like everyone else.”

  “I actually think it’s harder for us to be good, given all of our capabilities,” Ember muses. The thought of a Walker gone rogue is a frightening thought indeed. I picture Mikhail in my mind, appearing out of the shadows with his deadly arched blades flashing lightning quick.

  “No,” I say, unable to accept that image. “I just don’t see it. I mean, he saved my life.”r />
  Sam concedes my point. “He is a great warrior.”

  “When he doesn’t go MIA on us,” Ember mutters under her breath.

  “What?” Unsure I heard her clearly.

  Sam sighs heavily. “He’s been known to go AWOL in the middle of battle before. When asked about it, he clams up. That doesn’t exactly inspire faith in him for the rest of us.”

  I’m a little surprised at Sam’s willingness to express doubt in a fellow Walker. He refuses to speak ill of Frenchie, who is an obvious tyrant and pain in the butt, but he shares his uncertainty about Mikhail openly. This makes me want to defend him even more.

  “But he hasn’t done anything outright bad, though, has he? I mean …” I try to think of a way to defend him. “What about his aura, Ember? Can’t you tell if he’s good or bad?”

  “That’s just it!” Ember slaps the table. “When I try to see his aura, there’s nothing there! It’s like he doesn’t have one.” She says this as if it confirms her point that he can’t be trusted.

  “Have you asked him about it?”

  She shakes her head. “Nah. Honestly, I try to avoid him. He gives me the heebie-jeebies.” She shivers. “Even his powers are creepy.”

  “What are they?”

  “We aren’t exactly sure,” Sam says with a furrowed brow. He looks frustrated. “We know he can travel through shadows.”

  I remember him pulling me into the shadows and holding me tightly against him as we fell through darkness. It was a startling few moments but nothing about it felt evil. It actually seems like a really cool ability.

  “Angel senses he can do more than what he has shown us,” Ember says. “That’s another reason we don’t really trust him. Being secretive like that, it’s not right. Makes you wonder what else he is hiding.”

  Sam sighs. “We really should let you form your own opinion of him.”

  “I will,” I say adamantly. I’m surprised at the defiance in my voice. I don’t like that every Walker seems to have made up their mind about Mikhail. It doesn’t seem right to gang up on one of our own. I make a promise to myself to do everything I can to reach out to Mikhail. I won’t give up on him. He’s one of us. He was called to Chaos for a purpose, and he belongs there as much as everyone else.