Immortal Light: Wide Awake

by John D. Sperry

  Frustration was taking its toll as tears of anger fell to the sand. Lucy could feel herself begin to fade away as she lay there. The feeling was one of absolute despair and failure. She knew in that moment that she was going to die. If not by means of some outside force, then by way of her inability to carry on, to even want to live.

  It was in those last moments that she thought of her family; her father and his outwardly firm manner. While he was stern, she knew that deep down he was a man just trying to do his job as a parent and was probably scared to death every day that he was screwing something up. Her mother came to her mind. Lucy wondered if she had even said I love you to her before leaving the house to go to Kat’s that night. And then she thought of Benjamin. The moment they had shared on the dance floor. How, beyond any doubt, she had learned the truth about everything, and the thought made her sad. All she wanted was to be in Benjamin’s arms one last time, to feel him next to her and know that it was actually him, that he was real inside and outside any haven.

  She began to sob and felt more life leave her body. She decided to let go, it didn’t feel right hanging on when there was so little to hang to. She cried into the sand and rested her face on her arm, lacking any kind of strength to hold it up. She thought of Benjamin as she closed her eyes for the last time, but it wasn’t long that she waited in the darkness when she felt firm hands grab her by the shoulders. There wasn’t even enough strength to open her eyes and she hoped that the hands belonged to the one person she wanted to see before dying. Looking up into the bright sky, she could smell his characteristic scent before she even saw his face and more tears rolled down her cheeks.

  “Lucy, I’m here.” His voice was calm and tender as he rolled her over onto his lap and cradled her head.

  She felt him brush the hair from her face as she lay limply in his arms with tears that she couldn’t wipe away obstructing her last view of Benjamin.

  Absolutely pathetic, were the only words she could think to describe herself when, out of nowhere, she felt a spark of hope begin to rekindle deep down inside of her. It started at her core and began to spread outward. Benjamin was pumping life back into her; she felt it like a battery being recharged. She felt strong again and was able to move her limbs. Hope was replaced by joy at the thought that perhaps she wasn’t in the last moments of her life.

  Slowly reaching up she wiped the tears from her face and saw Benjamin’s face over her. His eyes were closed and his face was one of absolute concentration. As she felt that she might be able to stand, or at least sit up, she reached up and touched his unblemished cheek and he opened his eyes.

  For a long moment the two of them just absorbed each other’s presence. Lucy wanted to say so many things to him. She wanted him to know, even if he didn’t reciprocate the sentiment, that she loved him. She wanted him to know that there would never be a moment when she wouldn’t love him. She never wanted that moment, being cradled in his arms, to end. And as much as she wanted him to love her back, she was content knowing that everything they had shared in the past was real.

  “How do you feel?” were the next words to break the silence.

  Lucy smiled at the sound of his voice. “I feel much better now.”

  “Good.” He breathed deeply and exhaled slowly, as if expelling all worry and concern.

  “Were you worried about me?” Lucy asked slowly with a teasing grin, fatigue beginning to flee her body.

  Benjamin held her close and tight. He closed his eyes and let out another sigh of relief. “You have no idea.”

  The two sat there, basking in the warmth of the sun and each other’s embrace. The surf came in and moved out rhythmically as Lucy regained her strength. She knew it was Benjamin that was giving life back to her, and she wondered what the effects were on him. Was he actually surrendering his own light? It’s like giving blood, he once told her. Finding the strength, she sat up and faced him. He let go of her and she gripped his hands in hers. She felt stronger.

  “What does that do to you?”

  Benjamin looked at her and cocked his head slightly. “What does what do to me?” he said, looking almost painfully exhausted.

  “Saving me like that. What does it do to you?”

  Lucy understood that whatever was happening to her before, Benjamin had stopped it. The despair, the depression, and the loss of all hope had been on the brink of literally killing her, and he stopped all of it by giving his light to her.

  Benjamin looked pensive for a moment then gripped Lucy’s fingers. “It doesn’t do anything that you don’t deserve.”

  Feeling worthy of such a gift was beyond anything Lucy could ever imagine and though she was grateful for it, she wasn’t done asking questions.

  “That’s what you did for the deer wasn’t it? The night of my wreck, I did kill it, and you saved it?”

  Benjamin answered with a simple “Yes.”

  “And when the bird came back to life for me, I did the same thing, didn’t I?”

  “Yes.”

  “And the moth.”

  “Yes”

  “And with …” She couldn’t say the words, because if that were true, she knew exactly what it did to a person to give them light.

  “And with Mark?” Benjamin asked out loud, as if knowing how difficult the words were to say.

  Lucy just looked at him affirmatively.

  “Yes, Lucy, with Mark as well.”

  Thinking back, she recalled the moments she spent with Mark in her arms in Benjamin’s haven. She remembered the feeling of life being drained from her as she instantly realized she had been giving her own light to him. It also explained why she was so exhausted when she woke up in the totaled vehicle.

  Lucy sat, feeling unworthy of more than just the great gifts she’d been given; she felt unworthy of the power she wielded.

  “Why do we have this … ability, or power, or whatever it is? Why can’t other people use it?”

  “It’s definitely a power that we have. We have it for different reasons. I have it because of my lineage. It’s literally in my blood. You have it because you have been chosen for a sacred obligation.”

  He meant her job as a guardian, but she still didn’t know what that meant, or even how she was supposed to guard anyone when she couldn’t even take care of herself.

  “But who chooses? Who gets to decide?”

  He hesitated to answer for a moment. “I guess nature decides. There is a lot that I don’t fully understand about it, even after two-thousand years, so all I can say is that nature decides, but it is up to us to accept it.”

  Lucy looked confused. “What do you mean it’s up to me?”

  “You do have a choice in all of this, Lucy. It wouldn’t be fair to you if you weren’t given the option to choose.”

  “But, what if I don’t want it?”

  “Then it will fall to someone else. Nature is pretty easy that way.”

  Lucy was silent as she contemplated this new information. It had never occurred to her that she might have a choice. Looking around she wanted to get up and walk along the beach. Desire and action were two very different things, having just been through what she had been through. Rising to her feet, she stumbled backward, and Benjamin immediately caught her before she fell back to the sand.

  She slowly started to walk along the beach, keeping the waves to her left. A sand dollar stuck out and she picked it up. Turning to face the ocean she hurtled it into the air and it flew well beyond her ability to throw, having caught the wind perfectly.

  “What happened to me out there that it had such an effect on me in here?”

  “That person who grabbed you was trying to steal your light.”

  “Why? Why did he want me?” Lucy responded in a subdued tone.

  “He thinks you have knowledge inside you.”

  He stopped for a moment. Lucy could sense that he was distressed, but she had to know, so she just waited.

  “He thought you were the queen and he was hoping you had vita
l information about how to bring the city back. So he tried to extract it from you.” Benjamin breathed deeply. “In doing so, he took you pretty close to the brink. If we hadn’t stopped him when we did, he might have killed you.”

  Benjamin looked at her, the truth of that possibility written all over his face. Lucy swallowed hard, feeling the gravity of the situation she had been in.

  “That’s one of the reasons I needed to tell you everything tonight.”

  Lucy stopped and turned to face Benjamin.

  “What do you mean? You came to the dance to tell me that my life was in danger because somebody thought I was someone else? You didn’t think it was important to quit the charade more than five minutes before I was going to be killed?” There was heat rising in her voice.

  “Peter and Jack tracked a group of reapers to the coast yesterday as far north as Florence. They stayed mostly to the woods, looking for something.”

  Lucy listened, her arms folded and eyes narrowed.

  “We thought that as they made their way south they were looking for us, but to be on the safe side, I felt Kat’s invitation to the dance was a great excuse to be near you in case it was you they wanted.”

  Lucy was getting more upset with Benjamin, not because he chose that moment to reveal everything, but because he hadn’t done it sooner.

  “So, what you’re saying is they were actually coming for me. I was who they wanted?” Her tone emanated anger and frustration.

  Benjamin looked her in the eyes, not wanting her to feel that he was trying to protect her emotions. “Yes, they were actually looking for you.”

  “But I’m not the queen!” She yelled at him.

  There was a long pregnant silence. Lucy realized that her fear was leading her to blame Benjamin and his brothers for the attack. But, she knew logically there was nothing they could have known, and certainly nothing they could have done differently.

  “So, what do we do now?”

  Lucy reached to her waist and pulled out her sword and examined it. Recalling her moment on that same beach when she had defeated the reaper, she felt strong and powerful again. She wanted to fight back.

  “Those reapers, can they be killed or destroyed?”

  “They can be destroyed and, depending on how old they are, they can be destroyed quite easily, but we need to prepare you out there.” Benjamin walked up to Lucy. “Out there you don’t have a sword, you don’t know how to use your light, and we need to teach you that. Reapers aren’t who you should be focusing on right now. We need to get you to understand how all this works.”

  Lucy returned her sword to her scabbard. “Okay, then, let’s get started.” She began walking back to her fallen tree.

  “This could get you killed, Lucy. Is that what you want?”

  Lucy could sense fear and concern in his tone. A chill of fear rippled up her spine at the thought of dying, and she stopped walking.

  “I have to do something,” she said in a more subdued tone.

  “But, you need to learn so much before we can even think about that.” He reflected her mood perfectly and came up close behind her.

  “What if I can’t learn it all before they come back?”

  Benjamin placed his hands on her shoulders. “You will, I promise. I’ll make sure of that.”

  Lucy felt the weight of what was coming and she tried to summon the courage she needed to face it, but at that moment she felt tired. All she wanted to do was go home, and before she knew it, they were sitting in the dark backseat of the black sedan.

  Chapter 17

  In the backseat of the Camaro, Lucy sat comfortably wrapped in Benjamin’s arms. Kat was in the passenger seat, snuggled up in Jack’s black coat, asleep against the window.

  “It’s weird that no one came outside at the dance while all of that was going on,” Lucy muttered to disrupt the flow of her own thoughts.

  “Peter took care of that,” Jack replied from the front seat.

  Lucy bent her neck to look up at Benjamin.

  “He has special gifts that he inherited from our father. He can manipulate light around him in order to sort of ‘encourage’ people to do things.” Jack could be heard sniggering in the front seat as Benjamin spoke.

  Lucy sat up, looking incredulously between the brothers. “You mean he has mind control powers?” Her mouth hung open at the thought.

  Benjamin jumped in immediately to clarify, “No, not mind control. See, we don’t take away someone’s ability to choose. That’s what they do. What Peter can do is …” He was stumped as to how to finish the sentence when Jack chimed in.

  “If he sends enough vibes of a certain thought, it can help to change someone’s mind without actually forcing them into it.”

  “Make sense?” Benjamin asked.

  Lucy thought for a moment. “Yeah, I guess it makes sense. It’s like a subliminal suggestion; he just threw don’t come outside vibes at the gym, and no one came out?”

  Before Benjamin could respond Jack hollered, “Exactly!” from the front.

  “That’s pretty cool actually. Can you guys do that?”

  Benjamin laughed. “No, having one of us with mind persuasion is enough with us all living together now.”

  “Didn’t you always live together?”

  “Are you kidding me? Peter can’t live with anybody,” howled Jack again.

  “Then why are you all together now?”

  The conversation suddenly died as Jack made eye contact with Benjamin.

  “We think we’re all together now,” Benjamin hesitated and looked at his brother again, “because of you.”

  “Oh,” Lucy said, beginning to understand the bigger picture.

  “If you are the guardian, then that means we can go home very soon,” Benjamin said softly.

  Lucy squared herself to Benjamin. “You mean the city I saw in your haven?”

  “Yes.”

  Jack was subtly shaking his head, but Lucy took no notice of it. “How will we know who the Queen is, then? I mean, aren’t there signs or anything that we should be looking for? What happened with the last guardian?”

  “The last guardian, and every previous guardian for ten thousand years has been,” Benjamin looked again up to Jack, “a sister of the Queen.”

  Lucy sat in silence. Everyone in the car knew that Lucy didn’t have a sister. The Higgins had only one child because Laura was unable to have any more children. Her delivery of Lucy almost killed her.

  “As you can see, we’re sort of treading on new ground.”

  Lucy relaxed back into Benjamin’s arms. With so much new information to chew on, she was suddenly exhausted.

  ***

  In the school parking lot, people were milling around outside, seemingly oblivious to what had taken place there less than an hour before. In the darkness, no one could see the black stains where reapers had smoldered.

  Jack pulled the Camaro around to where Lucy’s car sat. Kat lay absolutely still in a peaceful sleep, so Jack gently carried her over to the passenger side of the Cavalier, reclined the seat, and set her down softly. Lucy sat down as well, and Benjamin placed himself in the doorway.

  “Oh, no,” Lucy whined.

  “What’s the matter?”

  Holding up her cell phone she said, “My dad called—oh my gosh—37 times. What is wrong with that man?” Lucy pressed down on the button to see the exact time of each call. “It was like every two minutes. The last one was ten minutes ago.”

  In exasperation, she listened to the first few messages and her heart stopped. She inhaled sharply, sticking her hand to her lips. Benjamin became immediately alert.

  From the other car, Jack called out, “Ben, check your phone—right now.”

  Benjamin pulled out his phone and read a text message from Peter.

  PETER: Reapers hit library;

  on my way to Higgins’

  “Benjamin, the library!” Lucy cried from her car.

  “I know. Peter’s on his way to your parents�
�� house. I want you to get to Kat’s house and stay there; we’ll follow. Don’t get out of that car until we signal you. Go!”

  Lucy slammed the door and sped out of the lot, her mind racing with questions. Dance attendees all stared as the two cars tore away from the school.

  The jerking motion of the first turn jolted Kat awake. “Lucy, what’s going on?”

  “Those things attacked the library. Mrs. Breen is in the hospital and Kenny’s missing.”

  “Oh my gosh, when?”

  “It must have happened right after I left at five. Mrs. Breen told me to leave so I could help you get ready. I just left her there.” Lucy’s voice was panicky and full of guilt.

  “What did they want?” Before the words were out, it hit her. “They were looking for you?”

  Lucy shot a quick look of affirmation at her friend.

  “What are we going to do?”

  “Jack and Benjamin are behind us, and Peter is going to my house, but they want me to go to your house for some reason.”

  As Lucy pulled into the driveway, she saw that it was empty. She looked to Kat for an explanation.

  “They’re out with friends. Should we stay here, then?”

  “They said to wait for a signal.”

  Benjamin jumped out of the Camaro as it pulled in behind the Cavalier.

  Sword in hand, he walked around the right side of the house while Jack faded into the shadows around the left. Kat and Lucy watched them, hearts pounding. Both men disappeared for a few moments, and the silence around the Cavalier became deafening. All Lucy could hear was the blood pounding in her ears and Kat’s labored breathing. The heat of their collective breath began to fog up the windows, so Lucy cranked up the heater and defroster. The hum of the fan was a welcome sound compared to the cold, dark silence.

  It was a good couple of minutes before either Jack or Benjamin was seen coming back around the house. Benjamin, still in his suit pants, shirt, and tie, came first, his sword held firmly in front of him. Jack followed immediately behind. Benjamin approached the driver door of the Cavalier and Jack the passenger.