Built for Pleasure

by Sarah J. Brooks

  “Yeah, she really got to me,” I admitted.

  * * *

  Buddy was back a couple of hours later. He wasted no time. “She’s been out of town, apparently went to see her parents. She’s back but doesn’t want to see you. I don’t know why—don’t know what happened, but that’s it. Sorry, Colt.” I could see the trepidation on his face as he unloaded the information. He was probably nervous that I’d go off on him again.

  “Nothing more?”

  “Nope,” he shook his head.

  “Okay. I’m taking the rest of the day off. Look after things, will you?” I didn’t wait for a response but swept past him on my way out. I had my own ways of finding her—I’d already proven that.

  * * *

  “You.”

  The young woman at the reception desk looked up at me and practically fell off her stool. I didn’t know her name. “Me?”

  “Your name, please?”

  “I’m Monica Stewart, Mr. Stillman.” Her pretty face was furrowed with what almost looked like fear.

  “Monica, come with me.” I motioned and strode toward the exit that led to the garage. I turned around and she was sitting there with her mouth hanging open. “Are you coming?”

  “Uh, yes, right behind you,” she said, grabbing her purse from her drawer and stumbled to catch up. I held the door open for her and pointed to my car which was in my personal spot next to the door.

  Unlocking it, I opened the door and motioned for her to get inside. She stood there, undecided and nervous. “It’s okay. I need a young woman to go shopping for me and you look like you’ll fit the bill.”

  I guess it was the magic word “shopping” but she instantly seemed more interested and cooperated by climbing in. On the ride over to Blaze, I expected what I wanted her to do.

  “You are going to be like a secret shopper, but instead of checking out clothes, I want you to look for a certain young woman. Her name is Gwen and she’s a tallish blonde but her most unusual feature is her huge turquoise eyes.”

  “Okay, but what do I say when I find her?”

  “Oh, no, don’t talk to her. Not unless you can’t help it, and don’t tell her I sent you. Here,” I reached into my pocket and pulled out a gold card. “Buy yourself some clothes, I don’t care what, but the reason you’re there is to look for her, pay attention to how she’s behaving and whether she looks happy. Can you do that?”

  “Well, sure. That’s not work at all.”

  I handed her the card. “Remember, this is not about shopping, this is about connecting with her state of mind.”

  “Got it,” she snapped the card from my hand as we pulled up to the curb and she got out.

  “I’ll be across the street in that parking garage, bottom floor. Come find me. I’ll be watching.”

  She nodded and almost tripped in her haste to get into the store. I hoped she could contain herself enough to get the information I wanted.

  An hour later, she came back, trailing through the parking garage with armloads of bags and a salesgirl trailing her with a luggage dolly piled with boxes strapped together. I got out of the car and loaded these in the trunk, avoiding a direct look at the salesgirl. I tipped her a hundred-dollar bill which she tucked it into her bra and then swung her hips broadly as she retreated.

  We climbed into the car and I left the garage by the back exit. “So?”

  Monica shifted in her seat, so she was facing me. “First, thank you for the clothes,” she said, pulling the card out of her blouse and laying it on the console between us. “I know who you were looking for. She was there. Tall and leggy? Busty?”

  I nodded. “That’s her.”

  “She seemed quiet, but she was working side by side with a very tall African woman with to-die-for cheekbones. I think I heard her called Metallica.”

  “Okay, but what about Gwen?”

  “She was really focused on what the Metallica woman was telling her. I got the idea that she was in training for something, like maybe a promotion. I tried to shop close by. I heard Metallica ask her if she intended to make Blaze her career or was she more interested in marriage and a family over the long term.”

  Monica paused. I had to ask. “What did she say.”

  She drew a breath, I think she knew I wasn’t going to like the answer. “She said she never wanted to be married.”

  * * *

  I dropped my car off back at the office and went to a bar not far from where Gwen worked. I knew what time she’d be off, and I’d be waiting. I ordered a double whiskey and settled back in a dark booth at the far side of the room from the door where I could watch. I was starting on my third when I looked down at my phone and saw it was close to her quitting time. I threw a hundred on the table and walked out into the sunlight, squinting a little and off tilt until I could adjust my eyes. Then I saw her; she was standing next to a very tall African woman. That was obviously the one that Monica had referenced. I hung back, watching, while the women chatted briefly on the sidewalk. Eventually, the Metallica lady turned and left and then Gwen turned in the opposite direction. She never heard me come up behind her until I grabbed her arm gently and she jumped.

  “What?” flew from her mouth in surprise.

  “Gwen, I have to talk to you.”

  “Well, I don’t have to talk to you,” she said cruelly, pulling her arm away from me. She tried to turn and walk away but I wouldn’t let her go. I caught up next to her and spoke as we headed toward her car.

  “Gwen, please, stop.” I tried to put my arms around her, but she pushed me away. I pulled her hard against my chest and trapped her, my hand holding the crown of her head. “Shhhh… now hold on here. I’m not your enemy. Hey, now stop a minute—you owe me that much.”

  “I owe you?” She was flushed and angry, but she did stop fighting me. The huge turquoise eyes looked up at me and welled up with tears. “What do you want from me?”

  “Hey,” I lowered my voice again, “let’s just go across the street and have some wine and talk. What do you say?”

  She shook her head. “No, I have to get home.”

  “You’ve got time. What’s the rush?”

  “I have to go, that’s all,” she said and pushed back, heading to a car parked at the curb. I assumed it was hers. She fiddled with the lock and then threw her things inside in frustration as I stood on the sidewalk, watching. I could see her jamming the key into the ignition, but the car didn’t start. I heard the give-away click-click that suggested her battery was dead.

  Walking around to the driver’s window, I tapped, and she cranked down the window. At least no power windows, I thought and then felt bad. “Gwen, come on out of there. I’ll drive you home and send a wrecker to pick up your car. I’ll get it sorted out for you and have it brought to your place when it’s fixed. C’mon now.”

  I opened her door and she sat there, chewing her lip in deliberation.

  "You really don't have a lot of other choices, you know," I told her. "I thought you said you were in a hurry?"

  "She looked up at me. "I am, okay, okay. Drop me off at my apartment building, please?"

  "No problem, come with me," I held up my hand and she slid out of the car and stood up, smoothing her skirt. The sight of her legs took my breath away, but I had to control myself if I was going to get to the bottom of whatever was bothering her. "I'm parked just down the street."

  She nodded and followed me, holding my hand as I had offered. She was that kind of a woman. There were times when she was like a little girl and times when she was a willful, strong-minded and stubborn woman who would never allow herself to be taken advantage of. That revelation gave me pause for thought. I deposited her in my car and walked around to the driver’s side. I slid in and looked over, her skirt had slid up her thighs and it was all I could do to not reach over and touch her. I remembered what she felt like and how she smelled. She was all sweetness and innocence. I reined myself in and revved the engine, pulling out into traffic. "Want to give me direc
tions?"

  She looked at me sidelong. "You're kidding, right? You've known where I live from the very beginning. You wouldn’t let a little thing like that escape your attention."

  "No, I suppose I wouldn't.” I let the subterfuge pass and wondered when she’d caught on to me. She was a very bright woman and that was part of the reason she held such an attraction for me.

  “You can just let me out at the corner," Glenn said as she motioned to the upcoming street.

  "No, you don't. We have some unsettled business between us. I think at the very least, you owe me an explanation of why you ran out on me. I didn't expect anything from you if you remember you came into my room."

  "Do we have to go over all that now?" I could tell the topic upset her and I had to know why. It was that nagging feeling that somebody was lying to me, and that always raised the specter that I was about to be stabbed in the back. I couldn't tolerate that feeling.

  "So, what is it you want from me?" she asked with exasperation. Her huge eyes were watching my face, as though trying to see something there that would answer her question. "We aren’t alike, you know. Nothing alike. We come from different backgrounds and we have different goals. You have your responsibilities and I have mine. None of those are in common."

  "Gwen, listen to me. This isn't a casual flirtation if that's what you were thinking."

  "Of course, that's what I'm thinking. Men like you do not associate with women like me."

  "You keep saying that. What is it about you that makes you so afraid?"

  "Okay, you want to know? Fine. I'll show you. Then you'll understand. And when you see, you’ll leave me alone forever. I won't be insulted, I won't be hurt, I already prepared myself for that outcome. Park this car and come with me." Her voice was adamant and emotional. I had no idea what it was she was hiding, but I knew I was about to find out.

  Chapter 10

  Gwen

  I’d done everything that I could to discourage Colt Stillman from becoming a part of my life. I didn't have the luxury of letting him toy with my affections. I knew a hundred girls who would've taken one look at him or at his bank account, and jumped in the seat next to him, ready to take the ride no matter where it ended as he dumped them. I was different. I had a child, had responsibilities. I had a career in the making and these were the only things that would keep Carrie and me from living on the streets, probably Bitsy as well. I had to protect us all. I could not afford the risk that was called Colt Stillman.

  Nevertheless, there I was, taking him to the door of my apartment building. He stood back at the bottom of the steps as I unlocked the outer door and opened it. He reached over my head and held the door open as I went through and started up the stairs. "Come along. You may as well see it at its beautiful best," I said sarcastically. We trudged past Mrs. Heathrow's apartment. She was collecting her newspaper and waved to me briefly. I just smiled and kept going upstairs. I didn't have time for introductions and she'd never see him again, so it didn't matter.

  The second floor led to the third and that's where Bitsy and I lived with Carrie. The sound of my key in the door alerted Bitsy that I was home. I opened the door, pushed it open, and swept my arm wide to invite Colt in. Bitsy was standing in the little kitchenette, her hair still tousled from the day. She was getting ready for work and the sight of Colt in our tiny apartment took her by surprise, to say the least. Walking behind me, he came in and stood to one side. I took the opportunity to shut the door and slide off my coat, but he beat me to it. He took my coat and laid it over the back of a chair, removing his own and rubbing his hands together.

  "Well, Bitsy, we meet again. It seems I've arrived at an inopportune time. I apologize for that, but it couldn't be helped. Gwenn's car wouldn't start, and I brought her home."

  Bitsy was puzzled. "You just happened by when her car wouldn't start?"

  That was when it hit me. I turned around slowly, my mouth gaping in amazement. "You. You did it, didn't you?"

  He didn't bother to deny it, I had to give him that. "I'm a very determined man when I want something, Gwen. If it means disarming your car for a couple of hours, so be it. It's worth it even if you are mad at me because I'm here now and that's where I want to be."

  Bitsy shook her head. "Oh, no, this is where I exit. She grabbed her coat, her purse, and a hairbrush in her hand as she left the apartment. Then it was just Colt, Carrie, and me.

  Carrie pulled herself to a stand in the playpen. Drool running from the corner of her mouth signaled the incoming tooth that kept her fussy.

  "Well, who have we here?"

  "That's Carrie," I said solemnly, framing my next sentence.

  Colt walked over to the playpen, bent low and picked Carrie up, putting her on his shoulder. "What a pretty little thing you are. And you look so lonely in that playpen. If I weren’t so heavy, I’d climb in there with you and then we could both play together." He smiled at her and she reached up to pinch the dimple in his cheek. He was much larger than any man she'd seen before, and I was surprised she wasn't afraid. They say children know who to trust, and maybe it was that instinct that made her smile in his company.

  "You know, I think she kind of likes me."

  "Don't get ahead of yourself. She's like that with everyone." At that exact moment, Carrie burst out in a squall.

  "It would seem that she's not like that with everyone, now wouldn't it?" His expression was sardonic and infuriating.

  I didn't know what to say, so I sputtered the first thing that came to mind. "That's Bitsy’s daughter, you know. They're staying here with me and we share watching the child. Bitsy has to work at night and of course, daycare is hard to come by. It works for both of us." I walked to the kitchen at, opened the cupboard and pulled two cups out, setting the kettle on the stove to make hot water for tea. "I suppose you will drink a cup with me?"

  "Of course. He walked around the coffee table and sat down on the sofa, patting Carrie on the back to calm her. I went toward them, and Carrie’s arms instantly reached out to me. "Mama, Mama," she attempted to say. It was her first words and she been practicing them for the past week.

  "Oh, Carrie, honey. You know I'm not your mommy." I took Carrie from him and added, "She gets confused, you know? She has Bitsy during the day and me at night. It's no wonder she doesn't know her mother is."

  Cole nodded, his face passive. "Do you sleep here on the sofa?"

  "Oh, no, I sleep in the bedroom with Carrie." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew I'd been trapped. He knew very well that Carrie was mine, but he wasn't calling me a liar. There was something about him that kept tugging at my heart. I wanted to think he was such a bully, a demon and a thoughtless man who was just after sex, and yet, time after time, he was proving me wrong. I couldn't put him in the same column as Paul. There were few comparisons between the two. This was confusing, and I didn't know what to say. The entire atmosphere felt awkward to me.

  I flushed and handed Carrie back to him as the teakettle began to whistle. Colt looked quite comfortable, playing with Carrie. I soon appeared with two cups of hot tea, put Carrie in her playpen and sat on the sofa next to him.

  "So, now, is this it? Your daughter? Is that what you are afraid of people finding out?"

  I was frustrated, caught in my lie and feeling questioned at the same time. "Well, of course! Wouldn't you be?"

  He shook his head. "Not necessarily, Gwen. You're assuming that I don't have the capacity to care about you if you have a child. Don't you think that's a little judgmental?"

  He had a point. "I have to protect her. She's all I have. I'm all she has. It’s not just you, there are the people I work for, too. But, I must admit, it’s mostly you."

  "I understand that I really do. But I don't suppose it ever occurred to you that I would never come between you and your child. You and your daughter are a package deal and if I'm pursuing you, that means she's part of you. Do you understand?"

  I nodded and sipped my cup. It was hot, and the liquid
felt good going down. I knew Carrie was going to begin crying for her bottle at any moment and I hoped she would squall loudly so he would leave. I was uncomfortable in the tiny space that I called home and that wasn't right. I wish I hadn’t made the tea. It suggested that I wanted him to stay and I really didn't.

  Chapter 11

  Coulter

  I'd suspected for some time that the child was behind Gwen's reluctance to have anything to do with me. I'd known about the baby. Bitsy had confessed to Buddy, and he had relayed the news to me. I had known with every instinct that she would be a wonderful mother. Even so, she had seemed so single and available. I supposed it was the close relationship between Bitsy and her that allowed them to coordinate so well. They were both able to live lives as young women, even though there was a child involved. I liked children. I hoped to have some of my own someday.

  The baby began to cry, and Gwen put her cup down on the coffee table. "Excuse me, I have to make her bottle and put her down to sleep." I knew she expected me to recognize my cue to leave, but I didn't want to. I'd gone through too much with her to leave now. It was a tender, almost family moment and I wanted to stay, I wanted to be a part of it. So, I watched as she prepared the bottle and carried it along with Carrie into the bedroom. I could hear her humming a lullaby as she changed the baby's clothing. I got up and stood in the doorway, watching her. She kissed the baby fondly on both cheeks and cuddled her against her face before putting the bottle into her mouth and laying her down in the crib. She gently tucked covers up around her and added a little green elephant that waited at the foot of the crib. I studied the crib and then the bed where Gwen slept at night. It was a tiny room and the bed was no bigger than a twin. I wondered how she slept in it, given that she was tall, but I knew that having her daughter close by was more important than her own comfort. Once the baby was happily sucking at the bottle, Gwen turned, and putting a finger to her mouth to silence me, she came toward me and motioned me out the doorway. She pulled the door shut behind herself and looked at me as if to say, are you leaving now?