by K. J. Lewis
“I already know the answer,” I say.
“There’s no way you know that answer, Elise,” Ryan retorts.
“The night at our retreat, when Gabby stayed with me, I ran to the cabin to get something she needed.”
“You mean the night she had sex with Owen against the tree?” Emily asks.
“She’s thirteen, Elise. You told her about Gabby having sex?”
“Hush. I’m living vicariously through them.”
“She’s thirteen going on twenty,” I remind him.
“I should have never introduced you two. You’re a bad influence on each other.”
“Leave us alone, Ryan. I won’t get to experience this for myself. Elise is just helping me live. Go on, Elise.” Her comment sends a wave of sadness through both of us that Ryan and I ignore. He winks at me and I continue.
“Anyways, I came by the cabin that night…” I pause to see if he remembers what night I’m talking about.
“How about you don’t finish this story, and I won’t tell Gabby that I know she had sex with Owen against a tree.”
“Deal.” We pinky promise. Our hands fall to a rest on top of Emily’s.
“Do you love her?” Emily asks Ryan.
“Okay, so I’ve kissed her.” Ryan feigns frustration.
“See, you have to ask bigger questions for him to avoid so you can get the answer your looking for,” Emily tells me.
We spend the next hour laughing and talking about things that have nothing to do with Emily’s condition. Emily and Ryan eventually fall asleep.
I slide out of bed and make my way downstairs. The house is quiet. Most everyone is home or at the hotel. It’s almost four and I know the men will be here soon to start the farm chores. The girls did a good job of putting some of the food away. I rearrange the fridge to hold more of the containers left on the counter.
By the time the sun is coming over the ridge, I have breakfast ready and the screen door has opened and closed about a dozen times. People are back. I let one of the church ladies take over breakfast so that I can run to the motel to shower and change.
Theo is sitting in a rocking chair in front of his hotel room when I pull up.
“Ross coming?” I ask.
“He will when it’s time. He’s covering for another doctor, so he didn’t feel like he could take more than a couple of days.” He stands, wrapping me in an embrace. “You look good, sweetheart. Time away agrees with you.”
“Thanks.” I hug him back. “I need to get a room. I want to shower. What time are you all headed over?”
“They’re all finishing breakfast in the diner. We should be leaving in about twenty minutes.”
“I need more time than that. I’ll meet you guys at the house. The men were there to start the chores around the farm when I left, so I think the only thing needed is to keep people fed and be there for Ryan.”
“How’s Emily?”
“As expected. When I get there, I’ll wrap up the service arrangements. I don’t want them to have to worry with it.”
“Okay. Shower. Maybe sleep an hour or two, if you can. I know you didn’t get much last night. Take my room.”
The room is open. There’s something quaint and refreshing about being in a clean, bare-bones motel. I leave my muddy boots outside the door. The bed is unmade and I have to talk myself out of climbing into it. Dropping my clothes as I go, I walk the short steps to the shower and let the water run over me. The emotions I’ve held at bay since I got here are overwhelming. I knew that Ryan needed someone to place his anger on, but it’s been hard to not be here for him. Hard knowing if I was making the right call. Hard knowing there was a chance he would never forgive me. Hard knowing this will be the last of my story with Emily. It’s just a matter of time now, and the thought of losing her is more than I can handle.
The curtain slides open and Reid turns and pulls me to his chest. His arms encase me. The dam that I’ve had neatly holding everything into place breaks. Reid tightens his hold as the sobs escape me.
“This isn’t something you can fix, Dove,” Reid whispers into my hair. And in one statement, he has drilled to the core of what I am feeling. Helpless. This truly is not something I can fix.
“I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t know if I’ve lost my love for fixing things for people, or if it just filled a part of me that doesn’t need filled anymore because I have you to fill it with.”
“Whatever it is, Dove, we’ll figure it out. Together. You can’t run when it gets tough.”
“I didn’t run,” I say with sudden irritation.
“You were AWOL for two weeks, and I didn’t know where you were.”
“I didn’t run, Reid. I wasn’t AWOL. I left. There’s a difference.”
I can see the stubbornness setting in his brow.
“Elise, I had no idea where you were.”
“You left me, Reid. You were upset that I slept with Theo and ended it. Without a conversation. Without working through it. Then I tried again and you made assumptions about Knox. I tried a third time when I attempted to tell you about Brooks Anniston and you wouldn’t listen. You don’t trust me, Reid. It’s clear to me. Why isn’t it clear to you?”
He bites his lip, contemplating something. I can feel his erection against my stomach.
“I wasn’t with Amber in LA. It was a coincidence that we were on the same flight.”
“I know.”
“You know?”
“Yes, Reid. I know. I told you, I hate drama. And I know you. I know your character. I know you wouldn’t tell me you love me one day and sleep with someone else the next.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I accept your apology.” I kiss his lips.
“You aren’t going to make me grovel.”
“No. These last couple of weeks haven’t been about making you grovel. They’ve been about me. Deciding what I want. Who I want.”
“I love you, Dove.”
“I love you, too.”
“We should get out. The water is starting to get cold.”
I lean up on my toes to kiss his chin but he pulls back, cutting his eyes down to me.
“Elise.”
“Reid?”
“Don’t you have an apology to make?”
“No.”
“No?”
“Did I stutter?”
Everything happens so fast that I can’t process what order they happen in. All I know is the water is off, and we’re in the bedroom at the foot of the bed.
“You don’t think you owe me an apology?”
“Nope.” My face is the picture of defiance.
He grabs a towel and places it on the end of the bed before motioning me to sit. He takes a step back and crosses his arms.
“I found out yesterday where you were staying.”
“I know. Emme told me. You don’t think she would tell you without giving me a heads up, do you?”
“Emme told me to give you space and to send you an email. Graham told me to go get you.”
“That sounds like Graham,” I smile.
“You might want to reconsider the smile when I tell you what he said before that. He suggested I should remind you who’s in charge.” He begins to pace back and forth. His erect cock sways slightly with the movement. “I’ve thought about this a lot, actually, since boarding the plane yesterday. And I think he makes a very valid point, Elise. When we started this, did I or did I not tell you that I run this?” He stops pacing and gestures between us.
“You did.” I lean back on my hands and watch him.
“Why are you smiling?”
“You’re cute.”
“I’m serious, Elise. I never thought I was into spanking outside of sex, but I’m having second thoughts.” He lifts me and lays me across his lap in one motion. “If you and I are going to be married, you need to understand that you don’t leave. Ever. Do you understand?” He smacks my ass.
“Married?”
Another
smack. “Of course we’re going to marry. You’re the love of my life.”
“Did you plan on asking me?”
Another smack. “Are you going to say what I want to hear?”
“What do you want to hear, Reid? That you’re in charge or that I will marry you?”
Another smack.
“I don’t know what your intention is, but that’s just making me hotter. Can I have a few more?” I giggle with the sole intention of getting a rise out of him, and I don’t mean just his blood pressure.
“Satan suck a dick, you are the most frustrating woman I know,” he growls, throwing me through the air. I land with my back on the bed. Reid lays on top of me, his weight holding me to the bed. His lips find mine and he kisses the giggle out of me. When he stops for air, the intensity of his gaze crashes into me.
“Elise, I really am sorry. I do trust you. I promise to do my best to balance my need to protect you and your need to do your job well.”
“So, I’m not fired?”
“No, you’re not fired.”
“What if I quit?”
His raises my hands above my head. His eyes sparkle, and he runs his nose down mine before placing a light kiss to my lips.
“Are you ever going to make this easy?” he chuckles. “I promise I’ll fuck up, but I promise I will always love you and I will never leave you. Marry me, Dove,” he says sinking into me.
“Yes.”
“What the fuck is that?” Gabby expels in a sleep deprived growl, attempting to turn off an alarm that is not even in the room. “Is there a fucking rooster in here?”
“The only animal in here is OctoElise.” Fran answers.
“How can she sleep through that?”
“I never thought I could hate a cock.” I say gravelly, letting Gabby know I’m not sleeping through the siren ringing in my head.
“Elise, you have your hand on my boob.”
“She had her foot inside the back of my underwear earlier.” Fran says rolling on her back.
“My feet were hot. And?”
“And your ass is like a butterball. It cooled them off.”
“How small is this bed?” Gabby asks.
“How much did we drink last night?” I ask in total disbelief of how I am feeling. I know better.
“Enough that the three of you had to be carried home.” The male voice has the three of us lifting our heads to find Reid laying on the chaise lounge in the corner of the room at the farmhouse.
“Oh my god. It’s coming back to me now. Did we re-enact all the best singing movies?”
“Yes.” A smirk rises on Reid’s lips at Fran’s question, but he still has his eyes closed. “It started going off the rails by the time you all got to Wayne’s World Bohmeian Rhapsody scene.”
“Total classic.” Fran rolls towards me snuggling into my side.
“Did I take my top off?” Gabby asks.
“Yep.” Reid doesn’t give her a reprieve.
“You had a camisole on underneath.” I reassure her.
“There better not be video.” Fran warns.
“I can hack into it if there is.” Gabby reassures as there’s a light knock at the door.
“Breakfast is ready.” Ryan whispers entering wearing dark shades. He jumps a foot in the air when his mom speaks loudly over his shoulder.
“Good Morning Sunshines.” Janice enters. “Everyone up.”
“Chores to do.” Ryan Sr. booms from the hallway and our groans and discontent makes them smile more.
“Where are the others?” Fran whispers standing and having to sit back on the edge of the bed before Ryan comes to help her to her feet.
“Why are you screaming?” Gabby throws a pillow over her head and hides.
“Gabriella Jane. Up.” Janice stands in the room until we are all standing and giving her our best ‘Yes Ma’am.’
“Why didn’t she make Reid stand?” Gabby asks pulling on her pants and falling on her ass.
“Parents like me.” Again, he doesn’t open his eyes to respond.
“My parents don’t.” I mean mug him.
“They like me better than you.” He pulls more covers over him and attempts to drift off.
“We should have gone back to the hotel with Theo and Ross.”
“They were short rooms. Pipe busted.” Gabby pulls on a beanie and we both throw on extra layers. “It’s colder than a donkey’s ass out there.”
“All I know is, you don’t work, you don’t eat. And I’m not sharing my food. I don’t care if we are engaged to be married.” I run a finger over my 3-carat cushion cut diamond set in a diamond band. Simple but beautiful.
“I gave you a company, you would think you could give me a piece of bacon.”
“Oh my god. Please don’t get her started again.” Gabby moans grabbing her scarf and heading out the door.
“You didn’t give me shit. I started my company with my own money and my own reputation.”
“But I didn’t make you follow through on your non-compete clause.”
“Because there wasn’t one.”
He slides to the end of the lounger and grabs my thighs pulling me into him. His head rests against my pelvis as he runs his hands up my legs.
“You still smell like the sex we had before we went to the bar.”
“Nasty. I need a shower.” I run my hands through his brown curls. I love his hair.
“I think it’s hot. Kept me hard all night. Knowing you were covered in me.” He says trailing light kisses across the skin he’s exposed above my waistband. “Especially when that guy started to dance with you.”
“I don’t think it works like you think it does. No way…”
“Trust me. Men know.”
“Cause you pee on things to mark them? Not sure I understand the thinking.”
“You don’t need to. I understand it. That’s all that matters.” His mouth starts to climb higher, pulling my shirt up, revealing my sans covered breast. I pull away to protests.
“We gotta go. I want to eat, so we gotta put in the work. Life on a farm.”
“Why I live in the city.” He begrudges standing.
It’s been a little more than a month since we were here for Emily’s funeral. Ryan took a leave of absence and stayed here with his parents until he felt like they were in an okay enough place for him to leave. He’ll be headed back to the Chicago office next week. From there he and Reid are working out where he will be logistically. Chicago or Manhattan.
Theo and Ross arrive to help with chores, looking no worse for the wear. Feeding the animals works off the hangovers we’re sporting and by the time we are done we are more than ready for the breakfast Janice has prepared.
We squeeze the ten of us around a table meant for eight. Everything is fresh and I swear there isn’t a restaurant in New York that could hold a candle to our breakfast this morning.
“So, what’s the schedule?” Janice asks passing the freshly squeezed OJ.
“We fly out tonight around dinner time. We’ll drop the Chicago group off then fly to New York.” I answer. “Then I’m headed to D.C. tomorrow.”
“Don’t feel like you have to stay here for us.” She passes the eggs.
“There’s snow in Chicago. They aren’t expecting the airports to open until later this afternoon.” Reid takes more bacon. “If we wait until dinner we’re less likely to have delays and be forced to take these jokers to the city with us.”
“Well then, I’ll make sure lunch is ready around noon.” Janice says.
“Ooh. Is there any of the potato salad left from yesterday? Can we have that today too?” Blake asks.
“Of course,” Janice winks at him. “We’ve really loved the noise in the house the last couple of days.”
“We’ll be back in the summer.” Gabby says breaking the silence that fell as we all reflect on why the house is quieter now.
“I want to meet with everyone for a couple of hours while we’re all together.” I say.
; “Do I need to remind you this isn’t your team anymore?” Ryan says with a mouth full of biscuit. “I know this because they are now my team. You are just a consultant.”
“Ryan.” I give him the evil eye. “Don’t make me embarrass you in front of your parents.”
“Boss, I recall you said you could control her.”
I raise a brow to Reid at Ryan’s comment.
“Elise. It’s Ryan’s team now. You consult when needed.”
“Fine.” I reply sourly, eating more bacon.
No one says anything for a beat waiting for more of a fight and I think they are a little surprised when it doesn’t come.
“Elise?” A large smile spreads across Ryan’s face as he says my name. “Since you’re a consultant and I’ve been gone for a while, I was wondering if you could meet with the team today for me. You know, go over a few things.” His eyes finally reach mine, filled with mirth and a hint of mischief, and I know then he’s going to be ok. I throw a blueberry. “It’ll cost you the last of your bacon.”
Janice has lunch ready by the time everyone is showered, changed and at the table to meet. I take a minute to really reflect on the role each of these people have played in my life. For the last few years they have been every part of what I do. With me every step of the way.
I watch Fran and Ryan steal looks when they think no one else is watching. Both have been constants for me. Even. Steady. Gabby and Blake are alternating telling a story from the bar, making Janice and Ryan Sr. laugh. These two are loyal to the core. If I were to kill someone these are the friends that show up with a shovel and body bag. No questions asked and a bottle of red to drink afterwards. Both willing to step outside the lines if need be to get the job done. Both will be working directly with Reid in New York.
Theo and Ross as planned will stay in Chicago until the time is right for Ross to leave. Ross taught Reid and me both a great deal of what it means to trust the person you are in a relationship with. Theo. What can I say? He’s my Theo. Reid wraps his arms around me and places a soft kiss to my temple, pulling his mouth to my ear.
“I promise to always be your person and make sure you are loved.”
“It’s just a lot of change.”
“Yep. Exciting isn’t it.” He challenges me and pulls away just enough to get a read on my expression. He’s right. It should be exciting. It is exciting. I realize then that slowly over the last few months he has been helping me transition without me even realizing it.