Fading to Light

by Sarah Cole

  “I think so too.” I say.

  “So son, you’re serious about this young lady?” Dad asks levelling me with the seriousness of his tone.

  “I’ve never been more serious about anything in my life, you guys.” I say and my Dad nods.

  “I just know how you’ve been with girls in the past, son, and Charlotte is a very special young lady. She comes from a good family, she’s beautiful, smart, funny and kind and I don’t want to see her get hurt. I know you have a difficult time letting people get close.” He says seriously.

  “I understand Dad, and I would never do anything to hurt Charlie. She’s my… everything. I know how I’ve been, but since I’ve been with her, everything just makes sense again. She makes me happy, makes me want to live, not just exist. I know how special she is, and I’m going to show her every day for the rest of my life.”

  My Mom gasps and my sister is just sitting there with a shocked look on her face.

  I listen and can still here the shower running. “Can you guys keep a secret?” I whisper, giving my sister a look so she knows I’m talking to her.

  “Duh.” She says, as if she’s never had a problem keeping things to herself.

  “I’m going to ask her to marry me. I know it is soon, but I knew it from our very first conversation that I needed her in my life. And every single day that feeling grows exponentially. It’s like I can’t fucking breathe without her.” I say.

  “Oh honey, I think that’s fantastic. Screw what other people say. If you know, then you know. We can all see the love between you two.” My Mom says.

  “When?” my sister asks.

  “Well I haven’t met her family yet, but I’m supposed to spend Christmas with her family. I need to speak with her father obviously, but if everything goes well, I was hoping Christmas or New Years. I am having a ring made.”

  “Can I help?!” Cami nearly shouts.

  “Shut up, Cam! You’re so loud! I want everything to be a surprise, but yes. You can help.”

  “I’m really happy for you, kid.” My Dad says.

  “I’m finally going to get grandbabies!” my Mom sings, but that just sends a pain through my heart. I know that with the injuries that Charlie has sustained in the accident that it might be hard to have a family, but I’ll be damned if we don’t find a way. She wants children? I’m going to give them to her, and have a hell of a good time trying.

  Chapter 18

  Charlie:

  Sliding into bed and setting my phone alarm for the ass crack of dawn, I make a mental to do list and think about the day I’ve had. I realize my day pretty much started out at three in the morning, but I still can’t shut my brain off. I review everything that has happened today, and I still can’t get Tyler’s menacing behavior out of my head. Trying to distract myself, I put my glasses on and scroll through my social media feeds.

  I must have fallen asleep because I’m not sure how much time has passed when I feel the glasses slide off of my face and the phone taken from my hand. I still can’t pry my eyes open, but I feel the bed dip behind me and Andrew’s strong arm pull me to his body. He assumes I’m asleep even though I’m partially awake, but he starts whispering sweet promises in my ear that he thinks I will never hear; each one punctuated by feathery light kisses.

  “I love you.” Kiss.

  “You’re the most beautiful thing in my world.” Kiss.

  “I’m going to marry you.” Kiss.

  “I’m going to give you babies.” Kiss.

  “We’re going to be so happy.” Kiss.

  “I promise to love and appreciate you always.” Kiss.

  With every promise, and every kiss, I fall deeper into a warm, safe place, and I sleep.

  I peel my eyes open when the alarm on my phone goes off. It feels like someone poured sand in them. Lovely, I’ll probably have to end up wearing my nerd glasses all day. Before I slip out of bed, I take a minute just to look at the beautiful man lying beside me. I brush some of the hair aside that has fallen across his forehead and I wonder how I got lucky enough in this world to have him choose me. My hands slide down to trace the ink on his arms and his eyes flutter open, finding mine in the pale early morning light.

  “I love you.” I whisper planting kisses along his forearm.

  “I love you more.” He whispers back with a soft smile, his fingers tracing circles on my back.

  “I’ve got to go get started, and before you offer, no, I don’t need any help. Go back to sleep.” I say kissing his lips one last time.

  I decide to throw on some ripped skinny jeans and a long sleeved cashmere tee and pull my hair into a low pony tail. I don’t really care to put any makeup on just to cook, so I just brush my teeth and slide on my glasses and head out to the kitchen. I tie on an apron and get started.

  I really hope this goes as well as I have it planned in my mind, but it would just be my luck if it turned into a humongous disaster. I’m chopping a huge stack of vegetables for stuffing and various casseroles when I see Andrew’s Mom walking into the kitchen wearing jeans and a sweatshirt with house slippers, and I smile.

  “Good morning, Happy Thanksgiving!” I say.

  “Good morning sweetheart, Happy Turkey Day!” She says hugging my shoulders and planting a kiss on the side. Everything about Andrew’s family feels so familiar and comfortable, and I like that I can be myself completely.

  “What do you need help with?” she asks pushing up her sleeves to wash her hands.

  “Oh nothing right now. I’m just prepping, but may need an extra set of hands in a bit. You sit and have some coffee. There are muffins under that cloche, and there’s a fruit salad in the fridge.” I gesture towards where I set out the muffins we picked up from my favorite bakery.

  “This centerpiece is gorgeous Charlie. Did you do this?” Cami asks. It’s a pale gray green heirloom pumpkin that has been carved out to make the vase for the arrangement of white and pale pink garden roses, silver dollar eucalyptus leaves, black dahlias and succulents. Everything went off without a hitch, and dinner turned out perfectly. We are all just enjoying each other’s company now. Andrew has my feet in his lap, kneading out the ache from having been standing up all day in the kitchen.

  “Gosh, I wish, but no. There’s this tiny florist a few blocks from my apartment and they do the neatest arrangements. I just give them an idea on style and colors and they do their thing. Laney featured them on her blog, and they had a major uptick in business from that. So now they give us discounts.” I laugh.

  “I bet they would do amazing wedding flowers.” She says grinning at me with a slightly crazed look in her eyes.

  “Oh, yes! They do!” I nod enthusiastically.

  “When I’ve been in to pick up gifts and things for friends, they have had clients in with samples arranged, and they have the neatest ideas.” I say standing up to grab the pies as Cami and her mother share a smile.

  “Babe, sit. You’ve been up on your feet all day. I’ll go grab the dessert.” Andrew says pulling me back down as he stands.

  “Thanks. Don’t forget the ice cream and whipped cream!” I call after him. Seriously the best part of pie is the accompaniments.

  “Darlin’ you are a damn good cook.” Andrew’s Dad compliments.

  “Thank you so much.” I say flattered.

  “And I’m not just saying that either. Annie here is a great cook, but you might even give her a run for her money. Where’d you learn to cook like that? You even nailed down greens, and you’re not from the south!” he smacks his knee.

  “I’ve been in the kitchen with my Mom since I could pull up a chair, so I suppose it was bound to rub off. As for the greens, my Mom is from Kentucky and I grew up in the country. My grandparents have a hobby farm, so its bacon grease or bust.” I joke.

  “Damn straight!” he guffaws and Andrew’s Mom and sister roll their eyes in unison.

  Andrew:

  Damn, Charlie can cook. I seriously had to go change into sweatpants, because I ate s
o much I made myself uncomfortable. My family is absolutely in awe of her. I’ve had to reel my Mom and sister in a few times so they don’t overwhelm her. I’m used to their strong personalities, but poor Charlie definitely wasn’t. I shouldn’t be surprised though, that she just takes it all in stride and fits right in with them. I return to the dining room with a tray that I loaded up with pie, toppings and clean dishes.

  “That’s what I’m talkin’ about!” Cami says eyeballing the pie. “Gotta get all the shopping fuel I can. Magnificent Mile, get ready to meet Camille Montgomery!”

  “Oh!” my Mom exclaims. “Charlie honey, Cami and I usually do the whole Black Friday thing. Would you like to join us tomorrow?” She asks, and I am grateful that they want to include Charlie. Still, I can see the uncertainty in her eyes, and I know from the look on her face it has everything to do with Abby. I may not know details but I can read between the lines that it’s probably something they would do together typically.

  “Are you sure I wouldn’t be imposing on family time?” she asks looking between them.

  “Oh stop!” Cami says waving her off, fork in hand. “You are family, and I honestly won’t know who is there anyways. I’m going to be too busy beating some bitches down for discount bathrobes. It’s pretty much the one day a year when its publicly acceptable for refined women to go native and let their claws come out. I live for that shit.” She says with a mouthful of pie.

  My parents both shoot her admonishing looks, but I know they really don’t care. I’m sure they just don’t want Charlie to think they raised a crass child, but they’ll learn sooner or later that Charlie is a firecracker herself. She lights up the room, but she can pack a hell of a punch too.

  “If you’re sure, I’d love to go. But you guys will have to meet me at my apartment in the morning because I need to go home and get my mail and get new clothes.” She says taking a bite. I know she’s right, but I hate the fact that she won’t be in my bed tonight.

  “That’s not a problem honey. We’ll just get Andrew to drop us off in the morning before he heads to work. Charles has some clients up this way, so he actually set up meetings with them. It will be a girl’s day!” My Mom says, volunteering my services. I’m just glad my Dad will have something to keep him occupied. He doesn’t do lazy very well. He was off for a minor surgery a couple years ago and he drove my mother crazy around the house.

  “Ok, well I just realized I forgot something. I have a surprise for everyone!” Charlie practically squeals, popping up from her spot next to me.

  “I don’t really know what everyone had planned for Sunday, but I think you’re going to want to cancel.” She says. I have absolutely no idea what she has up her sleeve, but she’s so damn excited that she’s practically bouncing on her feet.

  “We’re all going to the Bears and Seahawks game!” She says excitedly as she runs to grab an envelope from her purse.

  “Hot Damn!” Dad says, smacking the table. Sometimes he goes full redneck despite his Ivy League education, and it makes me laugh. His favorite show is Duck Dynasty, much to my mother’s dismay.

  Charlie hands the envelope to me and my eyes nearly pop out of my head when I open it to find five, fifty-yard line tickets. They are just a few rows back from the bench. You’ll be able to smell the sweat… though, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing. Those must have cost her a pretty penny; I’ll have to be sure to give her money for these. She never fails to amaze me!

  “Holy shit, Charlie! These are amazing seats. How’d you manage that?” I ask pulling her down onto my lap.

  “I know people.” She winks, but doesn’t say anything else.

  “Are you a Bears fan?” my Mom asks her.

  She lets out an audible gasp.

  “Oh heck no!” she seems offended and I have to laugh because I realize I don’t know what team she roots for, only that she loves football and has a killer fantasy line up that she won’t let me tinker with. This girl is serious about her sports.

  “Green Bay all the way!” she says.

  “So you’re a cheese head, huh?” Dad asks.

  “You bet your ass I am.” She says jutting out her chin with her hands on her hips, shit she’s cute.

  “I know none of us are really super fans of either team, but come on. It’s NFL and its Soldier Field. It’s a must do!” she says.

  “This is going to be so much fun!” Cami says clapping her hands together, and I have to agree.

  Chapter 19

  Charlie:

  My alarm went off entirely too early. I had the worst time falling asleep without Andrew next to me in bed. I used to hate being touched or cuddling when I tried to sleep, but since I have been with him, I honestly can’t sleep any other way. Then I had woken up to yet another nightmare, and I feel like my nerves are shot.

  I knew these ladies were serious about their shopping, and believe me I am too, but five thirty…. Honestly. Knowing I am going to be on my feet all day again, I decide on a pair of leggings and a flat pair of over the knee boots, slouchy white tee, leather jacket and scarf. I’m finishing up with my hair when there’s a knocking at my door.

  I open the door to find Andrew and his Mom and sister smiling back at me and my heart warms. Annie and Cami have their hands full with coffees and a big bag from my favorite bakery. Andrew smiles his warm smile that I know he reserves just for me and engulfs me with his large frame. I breathe him in laundry, cedar and expensive cologne. My warmth. My love.

  “How’s my beautiful girl?” he asks after kissing my neck. It seriously does things to me when he kisses me there.

  “I’m good.” I say holding him just a little longer and squeezing a little tighter, feeling my nerves settle further. I know the nightmare had something to do with the letters I kept getting from the correctional facility. I only opened the first one and never responded to the visit request, but like clockwork, I keep receiving them. I knew if it was something important I would be contacted via my attorney, but still I can’t shake the unease that settles in my gut. I’m a forgiving person, but something like this is so hard for me to swallow. Lives were lost. To me that isn’t really a forgivable offense, especially when it boils down to stupidity and selfish actions.

  “Are you sure you are ready for a day with these two crazies?” he asks, nodding towards his Mom and sister who have made themselves at home studying my apartment.

  “We brought breakfast, Charlie!” Annie says cheerfully, holding up the paper bag in her hand.

  “And fuel!” Cami chimes in holding up the carrier of giant sized coffees.

  “I love you so much! Gimme!” I say holding out my hands for the cup and she passes it over.

  “Everything ok baby? Andrew whispers in my ear as he wraps his hands around my waist.

  I just nod in response and try to give him a reassuring smile. Sometimes it’s eerie how well he can read me, even when I’m trying to hide it. I can see that he isn’t one hundred percent convinced, but I’m thankful he let it go for now; no need to ruin his morning.

  “Your place is beautiful, honey!” Andrew’s Mom says as Cami nods in agreement.

  “Thank you very much. I love to decorate.”

  “Dang girl, how many instruments do you play?” Cami drawls in her southern belle accent, as she eyes my electronic drum set, piano and guitars.

  “Andy said you were very talented.” Annie says handing me a muffin.

  “Well I attribute that to my mother and grandmother, but I love music and have tried my hand at everything I could get my hands on. Now, I stick to guitar, drums and piano mostly.” I shrug, taking a bite of the pumpkin spice muffin. Heaven.

  “Andy and his brother, Graham used to play in a band in high school. They were so cute. They actually had a small local following.” Annie says with a slightly sad smile.

  “If you consider the entire female student body a following…” Cami snorts with laughter, choking on her muffin, and I join in. I can just picture a younger Andrew with a guitar st
rapped around him. I can definitely see the allure.

  At the mention of his brother, I can feel the atmosphere shift. When I look at Andrew, I can see the tightness that has taken over his face, hardening it and nearly turning him into a different person.

  “I have to head to work, but call me if you need anything. I have two surgeries scheduled, but I will call when I can.” He says abruptly, standing and grabbing his coffee off the island and giving me a quick, dry kiss on the lips. Before leaving, he turns and says pointedly at his Mom and sister, “Be good.”

  I cannot help but to feel like I’m missing out on something but I keep my mouth shut. I know something bad happened to his brother, but he clams up so tight that I’m beginning to wonder if he will ever let me in and tell me what happened. Believe me when I say that I understand that kind of pain, but isn’t that what people do who love each other? Share their pain and help soothe it? He was so quick to share my burden, and try to help me. All I want is to help him and shoulder some of the load.

  “Charlie, honey?” Annie asks, pulling me from my thoughts.

  “Oh, sorry. Did you say something?” I ask, and she smiles a soft, motherly smile.

  “I was just saying that it isn’t you.” she stands and takes my hands in hers.

  “I know my boy, and he will open up and tell you everything when he feels it’s the right time. You are bringing my baby back to me. He was so lost and just a shell of my happy carefree boy, but you are bringing him back. For ten years Charlie, he threw himself and everything he had into college, work, and then med school – never letting lose, never letting people in. He ended up working himself so hard that he graduated and finished his residency early. He’s had so much happen to him in his short life, and I just want him to be happy.” She says tears filling her eyes. “He loves you so much, Charlie. I know he can be stubborn and difficult sometimes, but please don’t give up on him. You are the best thing that has happened to him since that accident.” And with that she gives me a gentle squeeze and excuses herself to the bathroom.