Almost Easy (Sinister Ascent Book 1)

by Brittany Clark

  “That isn’t going to happen,”

  “Why the hell not?”

  “Out of the thousands of reasons flying through my head, I will give you the top three. One, and this is the biggest, you’re a married man. Two I’m dating Blaze right now and he is too good to be cheated on, and three I don’t trust you,”

  “Okay, now let me dispute all of those. One I won’t be married for long, I’m thinking about divorce, two Blaze knew from the moment he got with you that you weren’t his. If he has a problem with you coming back to me, than he is out of his mind, and three why the hell don’t you trust me?”

  “Zane, you have always been a great friend. I fell in love with you because you’re the greatest, most giving person I know, I love everything about you, right down to your personality,”

  I smiled wide and pulled off to the side of the road so that I could grab her. This time Chloe shrank away from me, giving me a clear do not touch signal. I lost some of my smile at that moment. But it didn’t all go away, in the past whenever she talked about her love for me it would make me uncomfortable. Hearing it now had a feeling of pure joy shooting through me. I felt as if I could walk on water because of her.

  “Let me finish Zane. Even loving you that much wasn’t enough. Hell the more I loved you, the more you seemed to want to hurt me. So no I don’t trust you. All you ever wanted was my body and you would say and do anything to get it. Just like you did in the past. Then once your satisfied you would take off. I mean fuck Zane, sometimes you climbed off of me and straight into your pants,”

  I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath. I was torn up with guilt and pain on the inside. I knew that I hurt her, but she had never really talked to me about it. The pain was in her voice and I could see that she was once again fighting back tears.

  “I’m sorry Chloe, I didn’t know what I was doing. I needed to be with you and you are right, I would do anything I could to get you into bed. The reason for that was because I needed you like I needed to breathe. I didn’t want to think about what that meant. So after I had you I had to get out of there,”

  “Right so you would use my body for your own selfish needs and left me crying and alone. Every time Zane it felt like you ripped my heart out,”

  “God, Chloe, please stop,”

  “Can’t handle hearing it? Imagine feeling it,”

  “I am feeling it now. I know what I did to you. Seeing you with Blaze is destroying me,”

  “It doesn’t matter now Zee. You’re just fucking jealous and once again you will say anything to get your way. It won’t work this time. I’m happy, and I won’t let you ruin that,”

  “You love me Chloe,”

  “For all the good that has done me. What do you want? Do you want me to say those words to you now? If I did would you run off like a shot like all the times before?”

  “What the hell does that mean?” I questioned even though I already knew.

  “Every time I told you I loved you before, you couldn’t wait to get away from me. It usually resulted in you dating another girl for a few weeks. But this time you married one,”

  All of those hopes that I had that she didn’t realize what I had been doing flew right out the window. This was very bad for me. It meant that I now had an even bigger hurdle to overcome. However I didn’t have much time, Blaze was moving in and taking my place.

  “I did do that. I won’t deny it. But it wasn’t because I wanted to hurt you, or try to kill the love you had for me,”

  “I don’t care anymore. I don’t want to hear it. Both of us are no longer single, and what we shared is in the past where in needs to stay. I want to live in the future, and I can’t do that if you don’t let everything else go,”

  “I will never let it go Chloe. You need to understand that. What we had, what we still have, will never be forgotten by me. As for letting you go? You can just forget about it. You’re mine and always will be,”

  “If I was yours, you wouldn’t be married to another woman,”

  “Chloe that isn’t what..”

  “Oh no wait, you would still be married, because you think I’m yours but you have never been mine,”

  “Damn it, Chloe, stop turning everything around. Why are you making this so damn hard for me? In the past you would forgive me in an instant,”

  “I don’t need to forgive anything Zee. We’re friends, and I love you to death. But we will never be more again. I’m not trying to make it hard on you. I just need you to understand that nothing you say now will end up with us in bed,”

  “Even if I tell you that I want to be yours now? That I want nothing more than to belong to you and only you?”

  Chloe closed her eyes on me, shutting me off from the pain she was feeling, “It’s too late,” She whispered, “I need you to take me home now,”

  “Chloe,”

  “Please Zane, just take me home,”

  I felt like punching something, but instead I let out a growl. There was no use in continuing this conversation today. I had already hurt her enough in this short car ride. Against my better judgement, I put the car in drive and headed towards her house. The ride was taken in silence which was good because it gave me time to think it all through.

  She was not making this easy on me. For the first time in our turbulent relationship she was fighting against me. Which was the absolute worst time she could have ever done this. Now more than ever I needed and wanted her, and she wasn’t falling into my arms like she normally did. She might fight against me baring her claws, all she wanted to but my mind was made up. One way or another she was going to be with me again. My marriage would be dealt with and Blaze would have to back the fuck away or face the consequences.

  I heard Chloe let out a sigh of relief when I pulled into her driveway. The noise killed me, but I decided to act like I didn’t hear it. So she thought that she was safe now that the day was over? I would let her go on thinking that for a little bit longer. Though there was one last thing I was going to tell her before letting her go. Chloe pushed open her car door sliding out. As she was about to shut the door, I leaned over the passenger side and looked her dead in the eyes, letting the words flow out easily.

  “It will never be too late when it comes to us Chloe,”

  I sent her a killer smile before backing up and driving away. I didn’t give her a chance to respond. Now she had something else to think about, and I hoped it would keep her up all night. Because that in turn would eventually wear her down.

  11

  CHLOE

  Last night had sucked. I had tossed and turned all night replaying over and over those last words that Zane had said to me before he left. I needed advice, which was why I was standing outside Blaze’s house knocking on his door in a tattooing motion that was rather annoying. Finally Blaze pulled the door open rubbing his eyes, making me feel guilty for waking him up. Blaze let out a huge yawn then sent me a dopey smile that earned a chuckle from me. I was so distressed five seconds before, but he looked so damn cute at the moment that I was instantly in a better mood. Just like that I wanted to be in his arms. Blaze was still half asleep so I took him by surprise when I bolted into his arms. Succeeding in knocking us both down, landing with my ass in his lap. Blaze laughed wrapping me in his arms, as I snuggled in burying my face into his neck.

  “Well good morning to you Chloe,” Blaze said scooting back to kick the door shut.

  “I’m sorry for waking you up. I didn’t realize how early it was,”

  “Uh oh. What’s bugging you Chloe?”

  “Zane, lately,”

  “Not lately. Zane has been a thorn in your side for a damn decade. What’s going on now?”

  I let out a huge sigh and started to untangle myself from Blaze. He took the hint and got to his feet, then proceeded to follow me into the living room. Once there I began to pace as Blaze took a seat, letting me have the lead. He sat there silently waiting for me to speak. I loved how he knew what I needed. Which was silence, until I ha
d my wits in order enough to speak.

  “He told me he wants to be together,” I finally blurted causing Blaze’s eyes to widen,

  “He did? Holy shit, I knew this would get him to crack. I just didn’t know it would happen this soon,”

  “No, you don’t get it. He said he wants me to be his, and for him to be mine. But it isn’t like that. He only said it because he doesn’t want you to have me. Which he also told me,”

  “Wait, start at the beginning and walk me through it,”

  “We were shopping for a dress when he burst into the dressing room like a caveman. Then he cornered me and proceeded to inform me that he was the only man that gets to touch me, and that you wouldn’t get the chance to touch what was his. Among a bunch of other shit he said. But the gist of it all was he is jealous and doesn’t want me to be with someone else. I don’t think it has anything to do with him having feelings for me,”

  “There has to be some sort of feelings for him to be jealous,” Blaze tried to reason.

  “Not the kind I would want. Look it is this simple, I have waited twelve years for Zane to tell me the things he told me yesterday. It’s just too little too late right now. I love him with everything I have in me, but he’s married. I can’t do that, I would end up hating myself, and eventually him,”

  “What if he gets divorced Chloe?”

  “That would change a lot of things. But I’m not sure it would be enough,”

  “Meaning?”

  “He didn’t want me Blaze. He pushed me away and said some very hurtful things to me. Then he married another woman. He wouldn’t have been able to do that if he had any type of feelings for me. Plus I’m not sure I’m over those things he said to me. I know that what he’s doing now is being done out of jealousy. He doesn’t want me. Not really, he just likes the idea that he’s the only guy I’ve slept with. Also he really doesn’t want you to be my second,”

  “Okay, so what if we pretend that we’ve already had sex?” He asked earning a wide eyed stare from me.

  “What?”

  “Look, you think that he wants to keep us from having sex. If we pretend like we’re already sleeping together, he would have no reason to say those things to you. Unless he really cares about you, and wants nothing else but you,”

  “That’s taking this a little too far don’t you think?”

  “No, hear me out,” We’ve been fake going out for nearly two months now. It isn’t going to seem real for much longer if we don’t move forward. In the end this will lead to Zane either showing that he really wants you even if you slept with me, or it will make him back off and that will help you to finally move on,”

  “I guess that makes sense,”

  “Plus we might get there someday and this way there won’t be as much pressure on both of us. With everyone thinking that we’re already having sex you won’t feel like you’re betraying him because if we get there he will have already gotten used to the idea that we have been having sex,”

  “Are you sure Blaze? Sometimes I don’t understand why you’re doing this for me.”

  “I like you Chloe, and I hated seeing you so sad. Plus Zane pretended for so long that he didn’t have feelings for you that I wanted to give him a wakeup call, I’ve told you all this before. Can you just trust me?”

  I looked Blaze in the eye and stared deep. My mind was overflowing with all of this new information that I had received in such a short time. In the long run, one thing was very clear to me; I still didn’t want to hurt Zane. However I wanted to protect myself from him. If this was just Zane being jealous and not wanting me to sleep with another man. Then I needed to know. I was tired of playing these damn games with him, and once and for all I would know the damn truth. In the end it wasn’t that hard of a decision for me to make.

  “What’s one more lie?” I mumbled finally walking over and taking a seat.

  “Thata girl,”

  Blaze smiled at me showing me that sexy as hell dimple, then he reached over and grabbed me. I laughed but went willingly into his arms, and ultimately into his lap. Blaze snuggled me in his arms and rested his chin on the top of my head.

  “Are you sure that this is all a smart idea?”

  “Having cold feet already?”

  “No, I just don’t want either of us to get hurt,”

  “I’m not going to hurt you Chloe, and I’ve already told you I have feelings for someone else so there isn’t a fear of me getting hurt. The only one who might get hurt is Zane, and although I don’t want that to be the end result, I’m not going to regret any of this if that happens,”

  “When he finds out that this was all a lie, he is going to be so pissed,”

  “Probably, but he will get over it. Or we never have to tell him it was fake. If he mans the fuck up and wins you back, all you ever have to tell him is that you never felt for me what you felt for him. Like you said before. What’s one more lie in the grand scheme of things?”

  I rolled my eyes and let out a laugh as I leaned in and pressed my lips to his. Blaze smiled into the kiss and wrapped his arms around me tighter. My tongue darted out to lick over his lower lip and he opened for me letting our tongues meet and dance together. He let the kiss drag on a little longer, until he was passed turned on. I could feel his erection under my ass and I wiggled my hips pushing into him deeper. He moaned and the sound turned me on. I wasn’t sure that I was ready to let things go further just yet.

  Like always Blaze sensed this and pulled away from me. His forehead rested against mine as we both tried to catch our breath. “When we’re together like this it doesn’t seem fake,” I whispered once it registered that we were alone and what we had just done wasn’t a show that we were putting on.

  “I know it doesn’t. But I know that you aren’t ready for this to happen yet,”

  “How do you know that?”

  “When Zane finds out that we’ve had sex he will probably go bat shit crazy. If that happens he might insult you badly. If it isn’t true the insults won’t hurt you as bad. They will still hurt, but you and I will know the truth. Then when he calms down more and he gets used to the idea you will be ready,”

  I wanted to argue with him, but I knew that he was right. So instead I nodded and rested my face in the crook of his neck. It was moment’s like these ones that I wished Zane had treated me like this. I would have given anything I had to have Zane treat me half as good as Blaze had. I feared that Zane was going to start trying, and now it was too late.

  “Blaze?”

  “Hhhmm?”

  “Why the hell are you single?”

  “You already know the answer to that Chloe,”

  “I know that you lost Brittany. I just don’t know what happened. You said you hurt her, and I just want to know more about it. You’re helping me so much, and I think I could help you,”

  “I haven’t told anyone this before,”

  “You can tell me. Shit look at all you’re doing for me right now,”

  “I know that when I’m ready to talk about it, it will be you that I will tell,”

  “Just not right now?”

  “No, not right now,” He looked so damn sad, but I knew when to stop prying.

  “Okay, I will wait until you’re ready to talk about it. Just know that I will be here for you when you’re ready. And I really think that I can help you,”

  “Now, can I ask you something?”

  “Shoot,”

  “Do you uh, I mean have you,”

  “Spit it out Blaze,”

  “Do you still see Brittany? I mean I know that you guys were friends. I don’t even know if you lost your damn friendship when she and I broke up. Fuck, I hope not. At that point she had already lost so damn much. And the two of you were so damn close. I don’t want to know that I stole something else from her,”

  I chewed my lower lip and thought about the best way to answer him. “This is going to be hard to hear.” His face fell and the devastation on his face made me want to cry
.

  “You guys lost your friendship didn’t you? Now she has no one,”

  “No, we didn’t. We see each other all the time. She’s doing really well,”

  “Really? Shit that’s good to know,”

  “Yeah, her books are being published and sold before they hit the shelves,”

  “I know. I’ve read everything she has written,”

  “She ended up getting everything she wanted,” I said lowering my eyes so that he couldn’t see the truth. But this was Blaze I was dealing with. He could sniff out a lie like a damn hound dog.

  “What are you not telling me?”

  “Blaze…”

  “Chloe, I need to know. I haven’t asked anyone about her in years, and I think about her all the time. Please tell me,”

  “She still asks about you. Every time I see her she asks if you’re okay. Whenever you win an award she throws a party and cheers for you and the band, even when it looks like she wants to cry. Especially when you show up at the award ceremony with another woman. She also doesn’t date. She went out a few times, then just gave up. It’s because she’s still in love with you,”

  His eyes closed as his eyes filled. There is no way in hell that this man was going to cry over this. I had never seen Blaze cry, he was more ‘use your fists’ before show your emotions. Whatever happened between the two of them must have been bad.

  “Does she know about what we’re doing?”

  “Yeah, I went to her for advice,”

  “What did she tell you to do?”

  “She told me that you’re usually right and if you thought this was a good idea I should do it,”

  “She was okay with us dating?”

  “Well she knew that it would be fake. I have to be honest with you about something Blaze,”

  “What’s that?”

  “I don’t know what happened between the two of you. I won’t ask, I can wait until you’re ready. But whatever did happen killed something inside of her,”