2 Shorts, a Novella and a Haiku Walk Into a Bar

by Mia Soto

  ***

  "So why are you in Trig anyway? You're a Freshman right?" She's putting lip gloss on those soft, pillowy lips. I wonder what it tastes like. Like bubble gum. Like soft, delicious, bubble gum. Stop. Stop now. Not now. Not now. Down boy. Get your thoughts under control. Alright swing your pack around the front. It won't look weird. We're standing here anyway. I'll get it under control by the time she's done. Wait she's asking me a question.

  "It looks really good on you." She asked about her gloss right? Girls ask about those things.

  She laughs that laugh again. "Huh? I asked where your locker is?"

  "Oh." Shit now I'm blushing. At least that other matter is under control.

  "C'mon." She's tugging on my wrist again. I could grab her hand right now. It wouldn't be weird. Grab it, Nelson. Grab it. Alright, next time. It's too early to hold hands anyway. We've only known each other for a few hours. She drops my wrist and I guess I missed my chance. She gives me a smile. Is it shy? Really? She's shy. Alright smartness. Tell me how to handle this. I don't know. All I know is how to make A's. Individual thought and self-determination isn't really part of modern childhood learning anymore.

  I should have made her wait at the end of the hall. I don't think I can open my locker without half of it falling out. Shit. She's so pretty. Maybe I can get her to move to the other side so she can't see.

  "So, uhh, do me a favor and stand over there."

  She has the cutest looks. Cool she's moving. "Why?"

  "Well, some things might fall." She laughs again. I'm going to need some private bathroom time if this doesn't stop.

  "Ok." I love how she flips her hair and cocks her head. Does she practice that in the mirror like I practice my head nods? Latch is stuck again. Damn. Gentle tug. Ok, not so gentle tug. It swings with force right into her face. Then the avalanche commences.

  "Oww." Look at that scrunched up face. Even the way she rubs her nose is adorable.

  "Sorry, it sticks sometimes." Pile it up fast. Don't let her see some of those drawings. "N-no that's ok. I can get this."

  "I don't mind." She smells so good. So good. She giggles. I hate when girls giggle. Except her. She has permission to giggle whenever she wants. What's she holding? Shit. "Meredith, huh?"

  "Not really." I couldn't mumble any lower. At least she lets go when I snatch. "Sorry, I-I don't want to lose that. It's important. The notes and all." Why is she trying to read it sideways? Oh 'cause I'm holding it that way.

  "It doesn't look important."

  "Ummm, yeah, so." Let me find those notes. This moment probably needs to end. She's touching my hand again. Her skin is so soft and smooth. Not clammy like Lucy Morehead's. I don't know why I asked her to homecoming. Because they made me go and I needed a date.

  "It's ok. She's really pretty." Not really. Not since I met you. I don't even know what I saw in her now.

  "Yeah, umm, yeah, I-I guess. So, s-so are y-"

  "Hey Nelson." Barlow! Not now.

  "Hey." Did that nod come out as cool as I think it did? Practice is paying off. "How'd it go?"

  "Hey." Barlow nods at her. Ask her name, dude. "Terrible." Come on, Barlow, ask her name. Give him the stare. "What's wrong with your eyes?" Shit he's such a cluewad.

  "Nothing. Something in it." I pretend to rub my eye. He's doesn't even care she's over here in purgatory. He's so weird. I hold up my notebook. "Here it is." Her fingers are so soft. I don't know how we just brushed hands but I can die a happy man now.

  "Anyway, looks like I'm done."

  Hang on Barlow. I need to wrap up with Venus. "So, uhh, take your time."

  “I'll make copies and drop it off later." That's a great smile. Not too much teeth.

  "Yeah, well, no hurry."

  "K." How does she know the perfect time to cock that head? I don't know. She even walks perfectly.

  "Can we talk about me now, loverboy?"

  "It doesn't look like you mind the view either." These papers are going to fly out next time I open. Do I have everything? Don't want to have to come back again. Slam it hard so it closes. Shit. Use your shoulder. Nice. Wonder what those papers are sticking out? Hope it's nothing I need.

  "Yeah, it's not bad." Barlow looks like he finally found his libido.

  "Well, find someone else."

  "Why?'

  "Cause."

  "'Cause you think you have dibs? Like you have a chance."

  "Shut up. Why didn't you ask her name?"

  "Why?"

  "Because I don't know it."

  "I think I heard someone say Elizabeth."

  "Elizabeth." Great name. But I don't think that's her name. "Anyway, what happened with Smith?"

  "She gave us a pop quiz to see if we'd done the extra work she’d assigned."

  "Yikes." This bag weighs a ton. I need to clean it out tonight.

  "Yeah well. If we fail we're out."

  "Yikes." Man it will suck if Barlow is gone. Really suck.

  "Yeah. My parents are going to freak." He doesn't seem optimistic.

  "Maybe you can argue your way out of this. It seems like bull anyway. Smith doesn't have that kind of authority."

  "Burke was the one who made the announcement."

  "Ohhh, shit." That's bad. I probably should have said something else. But that's bad.

  "I have to go to his office after this class. He's going to bring us in one by one to talk to us."

  "Ugh." I wonder what class she has right now. I'm stuck in loserville for the rest of the day. I wonder if she's taking physics. If so, I'll get to see her first period tomorrow. Shit, Chin sits next to me. I wonder if he'll move. "See you by the lockers."

  "Yeah."