Gina couldn’t bear the thought of it. Say Neil had changed his mind and wanted kids? She knew she couldn’t go through with it. She would never change her mind about wanting children. ‘We discussed it already,’ Gina said brusquely, ‘and we don’t want children. Can we talk about something else please?’ she asked, her eyes blinking in frustration.
‘Very well,’ Iris muttered, taking a sip of water and pausing for a moment. ‘You’re a loner,’ she stated matter of factly.
Gina gasped, astounded. ‘Excuse me?’ she said, her eyes opening wide.
‘You like to keep yourself to yourself,’ Iris replied, unfazed by Gina’s offended expression. ‘At work you don’t talk to anyone unless it’s about business. You don’t mix with anyone and ever make polite chit-chat. I get the feeling people are intimidated by you and you’re often rude. Is that fair to say?’
Gina gave a theatrical sigh. What was the point in trying to deny it? ‘Yes, I suppose that is fair. But, I’m professional and I don’t have time to chat and gossip like the secretaries do.’
‘When I look at you, Gina,’ Iris said gently, ‘I feel sad. I see a very lonely, young lady who puts work before everything else. It’s fantastic that you’re a lawyer, I like nothing more than to see hardworking women, but I strongly feel that one day you’ll look around you and have nothing left apart from your job.’
Gina’s eyes felt hot and she felt a familiar tingling sensation in her nose. Oh don’t you dare cry, she warned herself. Don’t you dare get upset over something so pathetic! She blinked quickly and wiped away a tear that had formed in her eye, feeling mortified.
‘I suppose I do feel lonely sometimes, yes,’ she revealed, flushed with embarrassment. ‘But I have to be partner at my firm. It’s what I’ve worked for. I don’t have time to have friends,’ she repeated.
‘So you’ll be a partner at the firm. Then what?’ Iris questioned. ‘Then will you be happy?’
‘I haven’t thought that far ahead,’ Gina sniffed. ‘But yes, then I’ll be happy and I can relax more,’ she said in the most convincing voice she could muster.
‘Dear, you and I both know that if you get to a more senior level you’ll be doing anything but relaxing,’ Iris said gently.
Gina knew this was true and sat in silence as her eyes stung, threatening more tears. What was wrong with her this evening? Gina hadn’t cried in a long while. Not since …
‘Please don’t be sad, dear,’ Iris interrupted her thoughts trying to comfort her. ‘Though it’s good to let our emotions out, you have nothing to be sad about. There isn’t anything you can’t change. You’re normally quite stoic aren’t you? I can tell. Was the last time you were sad when you fell out with your friend?’ Iris asked lightly.
Trust Iris to know everything, Gina thought, worried she’d get upset again talking about it. The last time Gina had cried was when she’d fallen out with Lara, her best friend. They hadn’t spoken since that day, over two years ago. It was so painful to think about that Gina normally blocked out the memory of their argument. She wouldn’t allow herself to think about it and whenever Lara was mentioned by someone, she changed the subject. Lara had been the best friend Gina could have ever asked for. They’d been friends since they were ten and had chosen to go to the same university. Lara had always been the fun one as well as kind and thoughtful; Gina had told her everything. A few years after they graduated, Lara had got married and shortly after given birth to her daughter, Francesca. So their nights out in bars and clubs turned into coffee mornings and nights in watching films, which Gina didn’t mind at all; she had honestly thought that nothing would ever ruin their friendship. When Neil had proposed, Lara was the first person that Gina told.
‘Congratulations!’ Lara had screeched down the phone. ‘I’m so happy for you both! When is the wedding? It’s going to be so much fun planning it together! I can’t wait!’
Gina had been even more excited. She’d been looking forward to her wedding since she’d been in her teens and wanted everything to be as magical as she’d imagined. They decided to have their wedding in Nice, the south of France, where her and Neil had their first holiday together. Gina loved Nice and thought they had much more chance getting sunny weather by having the wedding abroad. Despite being busy at work, Gina had loved planning her wedding. She was extremely organised and often referred to as a perfectionist, which were the perfect traits for someone organising their own wedding. They’d considered a wedding planner, but Gina had wanted to do it herself, along with the help of Lara. Lara really had been supportive in the lead up to the wedding and they’d had a great day out with Melanie choosing bridesmaids’ dresses. Gina had chosen a beautiful, beige, floaty maxi gown which suited both Lara and Melanie’s figures and was in keeping with the natural, whimsical theme. They had gone for a nice meal at The Gaucho afterwards, which had been Gina’s treat. Everything had been going perfectly and Gina was really looking forward to her big day, which she’d been planning for a year. Then one evening, Gina’s phone had rung and nothing could have prepared her for what she was about to hear. It had been Lara, and Gina instantly knew by her quiet, timid voice that something was up.
‘What’s wrong, Lara? You can tell me?’ Gina had asked, a feeling of dread washing over her.
There had been a pause and Gina had wondered if the phone had been cut off until she heard Lara’s long, gusty sigh.
‘I don’t know how to say this,’ Lara said, her voice cracking.
‘Go on,’ Gina encouraged her, feeling panicky yet trying to remain calm. What could be so bad?
‘It’s your wedding,’ she started, her voice shaky. There was another long pause. ‘I’m so sorry Gina, but I can’t come.’
Gina felt as though she’d been punched in the face. ‘But why?’ she whispered desperately, her head spinning. The wedding was a week away!
‘Gina I’m so sorry, but I just can’t afford it. We hadn’t booked our flights or hotel as we were hoping to get a last minute deal, but the prices are through the roof now. Then there’s the spending money. I’ve just had to pay for new tyres for my car and James and I are scrimping and scraping enough as it is. If there was any way I could afford it, I would, but things are so tight for us at the moment and James is even worried he’s going to be made redundant. We’ve thought about it and discussed it for the last few days and unfortunately, I just can’t see any way that we’ll be able to come. James even suggested me going alone, but he needs to go to work and we don’t have anyone to look after Francesca. I’d feel too guilty spending the money too as she needs new school shoes and has a school trip we need to pay for.’
‘But I thought you’d already booked your flight?’ Gina had said, exasperated. How could her best friend and chief bridesmaid be doing this to her a week before her wedding? Gina was fuming.
‘No, we didn’t end up booking them because James kept saying we’d get a good deal last minute. I feel awful.’
Gina swallowed hard, devastated. ‘There’s no way you can come?’ she asked, feeling disappointed and completely let down. How could she get married without her best friend being there? ‘There must be a way,’ she’d told her tetchily.
‘There’s not,’ Lara said sadly. ‘Any close hotels to your wedding venue are fully booked because we’ve left it so late and they’re way too expensive anyway. I’m so sorry. I’ll pay you for my bridesmaid dress of course.’
‘Well thank you very much,’ Gina had retorted, feeling enraged. ‘Sorry Lara, but I’m really annoyed. You’ve known about my wedding for the last year. You’ve had the last year to save for it. You’re my chief bridesmaid, letting me down a week before my wedding!’
‘I understand you’re angry …’
‘Do you?’ Gina interjected. ‘How can you do this to me?’ she said, her voice breaking with emotion.
‘I feel so terrible and you know I’d love more than anything to go, Gina …’
‘Save it,’ Gina said abruptly, ‘and seriously, don’t
bother to speak to me again.’
Gina had then hung up the phone and cried her eyes out. Lara had texted Gina a few times afterwards, but Gina was so hurt that she’d ignored them and now two years had flown by without them talking.
‘Life is too short for arguments,’ Iris said wisely, bringing Gina back to the present. ‘Like good men, good friends are also hard to find. Give her another chance,’ Iris said, drumming her fingers for a few moments and looking at Gina with an unreadable expression. She glanced at her watch. ‘That’s all for today I’m afraid,’ she said with a gracious smile. ‘I hope you’ve enjoyed your reading?’
Gina gave a brittle laugh. ‘I’ve thought about things tonight that I haven’t done in a long while. Thank you, Iris,’ she said sincerely, ‘you’ve really opened my eyes to certain things.’ She stood up and shook Iris’s warm hand as she gave her the piece of paper.
‘Do you have any questions you’d like to ask me?’
Gina was about to ask whether it was likely she was going to become partner anytime soon, but something stopped her. Was that really the most important thing in her life? ‘No,’ she answered thoughtfully. ‘No questions.’
Iris nodded. ‘There is a name that kept popping in my mind throughout the reading that I’ve put at the bottom of the page. It’s someone I believe will change your life forever,’ she told her, her eyes sparkling.
Gina nodded, wondering what name it was and eager to get in her car so she could look. ‘Thanks again, Iris. It was lovely to meet you.’
Gina felt as though a weight had been lifted off her shoulders as she left Iris’s house. She even gave Rolo a stroke who jumped up excitedly at her legs as she walked out. She didn’t know what had come over her. As she looked at the piece of paper when she sat in her car, she felt a bit disappointed. The name Rosie was written at the bottom; Gina didn’t know anyone called Rosie. Maybe Iris had made a mistake?
Gina sat in the driver’s seat for a moment thinking about Lara. She wondered what she was up to nowadays and how big Francesca had grown. She missed her dreadfully. Before she had a chance to change her mind, Gina took her phone out and texted her.
Hi Lara, it’s Gina. I know we haven’t spoken in a long time and I just wondered if you’d like to meet up for a coffee any time soon? Hope you’re well X
She sent it and then gasped in shock. Say Lara told her to get lost? Or what if she’d changed her number? Imagine if she no longer cared that they weren’t friends anymore? She probably had a new best friend by now, which is more than Gina could say for herself, unless she could count her job as her best friend.
Gina started the ignition and pulled away from Iris’s house. She wouldn’t look at her phone until she got home, she decided.
As Gina opened her front door, the smell of fish hit her, making her stomach go over. She really couldn’t handle fish tonight, but Neil had clearly made an effort with the dinner she noticed fondly. Neil greeted her with a big smile on his face and Gina hugged him close to her, squeezing him tightly and closing her eyes. As he backed away Gina pulled him tighter, kissing him hard on the lips.
‘I love you,’ she told him for the first time in ages.
Neil grinned looking amused. ‘I love you too. What’s got in to you tonight?’ He asked in surprise, making his way over to the oven and placing their plates on the table.
‘I just …’ Gina trailed off wondering what to say. ‘I don’t say it enough. Thank you for everything you do for me. You’re the best husband I could ask for. I’m a lucky woman,’ she told him, her eyes bright.
Neil gave a little laugh. ‘I’m not going to argue with you there.’ He paused. ‘No seriously, I’m the lucky one.’
Gina smiled. Just when she thought he couldn’t get any more perfect.
As Neil placed the dinner in front of her, Gina felt even more sick. ‘I think I’m going to vomit,’ she gasped, dashing to the toilet.
‘My cooking isn’t that bad, is it?’ Neil joked, calling out after her. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Yes,’ Gina said, feeling better. ‘I don’t think I can eat that fish though. I really fancy some marmite on toast,’ she said, closing the toilet door behind her. This was the second day she’d felt sick now. ‘Maybe I’m coming down with something.’
‘Or maybe,’ Neil said slowly, looking at her with a serious expression, ‘you’re pregnant?’
Gina’s jaw dropped and somehow she knew, as she stood staring at him in astonishment, that he was right.
Four Months Later
Lara cut a slice of warm Victoria sponge cake and passed it to Gina.
‘Thanks,’ Gina replied with a friendly smile, licking her lips.
‘You’re so lucky you have the excuse of eating for two!’ Lara said as she gave a light-hearted laugh.
‘You would think I was eating for ten the way I carry on!’ Gina giggled. She was ecstatic that they were friends again. After Gina had sent the text, they’d met up a few days later and now they were friends again, it felt as though nothing had ever come between them. Gina had transformed a great deal since finding out she was pregnant though; it may have been an accident, but as soon as it was confirmed and she saw her baby’s heart beating on the monitor, something inside her changed. This was her baby and she felt an overwhelming need to protect him or her and give them all the love they needed. She couldn’t wait to be a mum and hold the baby in her arms. Neil was over the moon too, and it had brought them closer together. Gina was beginning to feel like the old her. She visited her parents more, who were also overjoyed that they were going to be grandparents and even her sister had begged to babysit when Gina needed someone.
‘So what will you do about work?’ Lara asked Gina in between a mouthful of cake. ‘Go back after you’ve had the baby or take time off?’
Gina had thought about this just recently. Having a baby had changed her views on everything. She didn’t want to be working long hours and missing her baby growing up. Work wasn’t the most important thing in her life anymore; Neil and the baby were. She didn’t want to be a stressed mum, too tired to play games and help with homework. Gina wanted to be there for her child whenever they needed her.
‘I’m not going to go back,’ Gina said easily.
‘Oh right,’ Lara replied. ‘What, so you’ll just join another law firm?’
Gina shook her head. ‘I’m thinking of quitting altogether. I just want a nice part-time job so I could look after my family.’
Lara’s mouth hung open in shock. ‘Wow, Gina, good for you. I never thought I’d hear you say that.’ She thought for a moment. ‘My friend owns a florist not too far from here. He’s always looking for part-time staff. I could ask him if you like? I know it’s not what you’re used to, but you might like it.’
The hairs on the back of Gina’s neck stood up as Iris’s words resounded in Gina’s head.
I have a strong sense of flowers surrounding you.
‘Definitely ask him for me,’ Gina nodded with a secret smile.
‘Ask who for what?’ Neil asked as he entered the kitchen where they were sitting. He pecked Gina lightly on her forehead. ‘Hi Lara,’ he smiled, as she in turn smiled back.
‘Stop being so nosy,’ Gina told him playfully with a little laugh.
‘So have you thought of any baby names?’ Lara asked them.
‘I quite like Jonathan for a boy,’ Neil replied, switching the kettle on. ‘But you’re not too keen, are you Gina?’
Gina wrinkled her nose. ‘It’s okay, nothing special. I prefer the other one. What was it we said? Oh yes, Henry.’
‘Nice,’ Lara beamed. ‘And what about if it’s a girl?’
Gina sat there deep in thought.
‘I would love to name her after my great-aunt,’ Neil explained. ‘I was really close to her growing up. She was such a sweet lady and an excellent singer,’ he continued.
Gina’s ears pricked up. ‘Rosie?’ She asked in a daze.
‘Yes,’ Neil replied with a frown.
‘Have I told you about her already? What do you think? Do you like it?’
A huge smile spread across Gina’s face. ‘I think Rosie is perfect.’
I named my short story The Psychic as it wasn’t too long ago that I visited one myself, just for fun. I’m quite fascinated in the spirit world and always watch the psychic, Sally Morgan’s, programme or America’s John Edward, and though I’m not one hundred per cent convinced, I think it’s nice to believe our loved ones are looking down on us. The main character in the story is Gina, a sceptical, thirty-two year old lawyer who does nothing but work, which she believes is making her happy. Gina is always striving to be successful and the best she can possibly be, and it’s only when she gets a surprise gift to see a psychic from a work colleague that she realises how much she has actually changed. Does she really like the person she has become? Is her job the most important thing in her life? I think that today lots of people prioritise their careers, which is fine, but I also think it’s important to switch mobiles and emails off and spend time with loved ones without any interference (though I’m guilty myself of reading work emails before going to sleep!). I really like the saying that you should work to live, not live to work; I think this is very true and something that Gina has forgotten along the way. The psychic makes her question her life, which makes her feel uneasy as she looks back into her past and sees things from a different angle. Without giving too much of the storyline away, I’ll leave it there! I really hope you enjoy it.
Please feel free to let me know what you think, or just say hi via my Twitter @lauraziepe or on my Facebook page http://www.facebook.com/#!/EssexGirlsBooks. I’d love to hear from you!
Just to let you know (if you really like my short story!) my novel, Essex Girls, is available to buy now and here is a short extract to let you get a feel for it.
Read on for an exclusive extract of Laura Ziepe’s novel, Essex Girls:
CHAPTER ONE
The Perfect Escape Page 20