David Hare Plays 2

by David Hare

  Isobel Dad’s house?

  Isobel stands astonished as Katherine now searches for vases in the cupboard. Irwin returns, wallet in hand.

  Irwin It was seventy pounds. It’s cleaned me out. Do you want to write me a cheque?

  Katherine Don’t worry. I’ll do it tomorrow.

  Isobel When did you sell it?

  Katherine Today. To a sucker in computers. Just think, I’ll never have to go back.

  Irwin frowns and goes back to his work.

  I’m going to get a flat in London with the money. I saw a place just round the corner from here. Only nicer. I just passed it with Max.

  Isobel Max?

  Katherine You know, the publisher.

  Isobel Of course I know Max.

  Katherine The man I went to see. And – listen – he says he will consider giving us exclusivity. We can do all his covers for an eighteen-month trial period. An exclusive contract.

  Irwin Really? (He looks at her doubtfully.)

  Katherine Well, ring him. That’s what he said. Mind you, it was fucking hard work. I had to take him to dinner. I was crossing and uncrossing my legs. I thought I’d have to make the ultimate sacrifice on behalf of the company. (She has moved across with a jar of flowers to where Irwin is working.) What’s this? The Encyclopaedia of Murder?

  Irwin Yes.

  Katherine No, that isn’t right. There should be an exit wound. And that’s not the effect. (She puts the flowers down.) Look, give me a pencil. There’s one here.

  Irwin grabs his drawing from the board before she can write on it.

  Irwin Leave that.

  Katherine Why?

  Irwin Just leave it.

  Katherine I’ll show you. Look, another piece of paper. A bullet goes through like this. Do you see?

  Irwin goes to the other side of the room, very deliberately. Isobel is still standing in disbelief.

  Isobel You sold the house?

  Katherine Yes.

  Irwin now holds up a book, his voice raised.

  Irwin I actually bought a book. I went to the library this morning, I may say before you were awake, you were snoring on the floor …

  Katherine Point taken.

  Irwin It’s called Criminal Pathology. (He points to it.)

  Isobel Irwin, hold on.

  Irwin It has a series of extremely lurid photographs. Which I have copied with photographic accuracy.

  Katherine Yes, can I say something I’ve been longing to say? I think that may be the trouble with your work. Its very accuracy. I’ve got a different idea of art. I think the artist should add something. He should add an extra layer. That’s what you’re not quite doing in some of your stuff.

  She shakes her head slightly. Irwin is watching her, saying nothing.

  You’re very bound, you’re very earthbound by all this accuracy business.

  Isobel attempts to intervene.

  Isobel Please, both of you, can we hold off on this?

  Irwin Now look, hold on, just a moment, you said this picture wasn’t accurate?

  Katherine That’s right.

  Irwin Then you said I was too restricted by accuracy.

  Katherine That’s right also. It’s incredible. You’re losing both ways. (She smiles at the irony of it.) The funny thing is, Max was saying at dinner …

  Irwin Were you two talking about my work?

  Katherine … he wanted to give us a contract because he was so convinced I could bring something out in you. Maybe something you didn’t even know was there.

  Irwin Well, I’m sure that’s true.

  Isobel speaks with sudden emphasis.

  Isobel She’s sold the house.

  Irwin What?

  Isobel Our father’s house. She didn’t ask us.

  There is a pause. Katherine seems offended for a moment. Then goes to get more flowers.

  Katherine (casually) What’s wrong? I rang Marion. She said the whole deal was fine.

  Irwin looks across at Isobel, his earlier point proved.

  I wanted to check I was asking enough money. So I knew Marion was the right person to ask.

  Irwin Did Marion call you?

  Isobel shakes her head, her voice now very small.

  Isobel Marion hates the house.

  Katherine Certainly she said she was never going to use it. I said I could never face going back. (She smiles sweetly at Isobel.) That only left you. (She stops now, serious.) I have no money, Isobel. It’s as simple as that. Robert and I spent everything he earned. He had no investments, he didn’t approve of them. He thought they were wrong. So do I. It’s immoral, all that disgusting trading in shares. He just bought books. I loved that in him. His other-worldliness. The way he just didn’t give a damn about money. But now of course we’ve got to pay for that other-worldliness. The bill’s come in. We’ve got to pay duties. (She looks sadly down.) And I knew you wouldn’t want me to starve.

  Isobel No.

  Isobel looks at her. Katherine looks back, the two of them staring at one another. Then Katherine suddenly cheers up.

  Katherine I’ll make some cocoa. Then I’ll come back and tell you everything that happened at dinner.

  She goes out. Irwin waits, tactfully, for Isobel to speak.

  Irwin Isobel.

  Isobel I know. Don’t say anything. (She shakes her head.) What are they doing? I wish someone would tell me what’s going on. (She looks a moment to where Katherine has gone.) For a start it’s only three weeks ago. Are we not allowed to mourn? Just … a decent period of mourning? Can’t we have that? Can’t we sit quietly? Why on earth is everyone running around? (She looks to Irwin.) I watch my family now, it’s like they have to be doing, it doesn’t matter what. Run around, sell this, change that. The day he died, I was sitting in his room, just trying for a moment of stillness. In came Marion. (She shakes her head.) Can’t we have a moment of grief?

  Irwin looks at her, as he has for the past moments, and now, tactfully, moves over to her.

  Irwin Isobel, they’re cutting loose. Now you’ve got to.

  Isobel What do you mean?

  Irwin They’re saying the whole thing is over. Your father’s dead. There is no family. You’re the only person who’s still hung up on it. Don’t you see? (He kneels beside her, his tone gentle.) You have to let go.

  Isobel But what does that mean?

  Irwin looks her in the eye.

  Irwin Sack Katherine.

  Isobel Irwin, I can’t.

  Irwin You must. It’s a farce, what she’s doing. What she just said about Max.

  Isobel I know. Don’t. (She shudders in horror.)

  Irwin The idea that Max …

  Isobel Oh, don’t.

  Irwin … this lovely old man would sit at dinner while Katherine made a play for him. It’s appalling. Katherine leaning over the table in that awful dress. Her bosom hanging out. I mean it’s actually funny. It’ll make us a laughing-stock. And for what? (He pauses a moment.) Because you have some misplaced sense of duty to your father.

  Isobel turns and looks down at him.

  Isobel, you owe her nothing. Get rid of her now.

  Isobel looks at him a moment, then shakes her head.

  Isobel There was something there for Robert. I can’t just abandon her. Think, there was this middle-aged man. Very idealistic. Living a life of ideas. ‘Yes, I know,’ he said, ‘Katherine’s impossible. But without her I’d have had a much less interesting life.’ (She smiles.) ‘I’m timid,’ he said. ‘My big fault is, I live in my shell. She gets me out of it. She’s confrontational.’ He loved that. He said that living with Katherine was like being on manoeuvres with a great army. You had no idea where you’d wake up the next day. Once he woke up at four. She was in the kitchen with a drinking friend. She had a gun in her hand, and was yelling, ‘Go on, do it! Do it! I want you to! If you love me, shoot me in the leg!’ He loved that story. He didn’t mind what people called her awfulness. Along came this girl who was prepared to say what she thought, especial
ly to all those people he didn’t dare be rude to himself. That’s what he loved. She dared to say what he was only thinking. She wasn’t dependent on anyone’s opinion. (She smiles.) You know what it was? He thought she was free.

  Irwin is bewildered, assertive.

  Irwin But she isn’t.

  Isobel Of course not.

  Irwin She’s chronically dependent. Mostly on other people’s good will. What you’re describing is what more usually is called bad behaviour. And it’s always at somebody else’s expense.

  Isobel looks at him a moment.

  Isobel Mmm.

  Irwin All you’re saying is, she found a sucker.

  Isobel It made him happy.

  Irwin That’s not the point. It won’t make you happy. Will it?

  Isobel pauses again.

  Isobel No.

  Irwin Then that’s it. You have no choice.

  She looks at him. Then reaches and puts her hand on his cheek.

  Isobel I don’t want to do it. Not tonight. I want to bury my head in the sand.

  Irwin You can’t do that.

  Isobel Why not?

  She smiles. He kisses the back of her hand. At once she kisses him. He puts his arms round her, the feeling warm between them.

  I like it. I’ve got great plumage.

  Irwin I’ve seen your plumage.

  He smiles. Katherine calls from the other room.

  Katherine (off) Isobel! Isobel!

  Irwin But you must do something now.

  Katherine returns with a huge vase of flowers beautifully arranged. She is already talking. Irwin gets up and tactfully takes them from her.

  Katherine Did I tell you …

  Irwin I’ll take those from you.

  Katherine Marion said she wants to make an investment in the firm?

  Isobel In us?

  Katherine Yes.

  Isobel How extraordinary! She’s never said that before.

  Katherine No. Well, she feels now I’m here, the whole thing’s a much better bet.

  Isobel frowns.

  Isobel But why? I can’t see we need it.

  Katherine If we’re expanding, I mean like if Max comes through, you’re going to need extra artists. We’re going to have to pay them.

  Isobel Where would we put them?

  Katherine waves her hand, confidently.

  Katherine Oh, we’d get a bigger place. In the centre of town. If we expand now, get some capital investment, we could be making money like hay. (She laughs.) Everyone else is.

  Isobel I’m not sure.

  Katherine I admit, it all depends on me. I’ve got to keep Max’s cock hot in my pocket. But you shouldn’t worry. Tonight I made a pretty good start.

  Isobel looks quickly to Irwin, who is standing watching.

  Isobel Look, I’m sorry, Katherine … (She stops, unable to go on.)

  Katherine What?

  Isobel Max is my friend. I’m also very close to his wife. Who’s called Julia. Max gave us our very first job. It’s just incredibly offensive when you talk of him as if he were a prostitute’s trick. (She pauses again.) You make me sound priggish. But it’s a difference of style.

  Katherine looks at her. She nods a little, suddenly quietened, sincere.

  Katherine This isn’t going to work. I felt it. I really did my best.

  Isobel I know.

  Katherine I put such effort into this.

  Isobel I know you did, Katherine. I’m not attacking you. I’m just saying we go about things different ways.

  Katherine smiles at a memory.

  Katherine Yes, it’s something Robert said. He said, ‘You must always remember Isobel is very narrow. She has no vision.’ That’s right.

  Irwin stirs uneasily.

  Irwin I’m sure he didn’t say that.

  Katherine It’s all right. I won’t tell you any more of what he really thought. I promise you, I’m going to leave quietly. My shouting days are over. It’s up to you to say. I’m not totally insensitive. Do you want me to leave?

  Isobel looks in agony to Irwin for help.

  Isobel Look, it’s just I have lost Gordon …

  Katherine We’re not talking about Gordon. I’m asking you.

  Isobel stands unable to answer. Then suddenly Irwin intervenes.

  Irwin The answer is yes.

  Isobel No.

  Irwin Isobel just doesn’t want to say it.

  Isobel Irwin, please.

  He holds up a hand. Stops. Looks steadily at Katherine.

  Irwin We’ve just been talking. She’s just too nice to say. I’ll say it for her. She’s been taken advantage of. She’s desperate you should go.

  There’s a pause.

  Look …

  Katherine That’s fine. Well, that’s very clear. Thank you, Irwin. If you let me sleep here, I’ll go in the morning. I’ll say goodbye then.

  She turns and goes out, silently. Isobel does not move. Irwin waits.

  Irwin Well, there we are. Can we go to bed now? Isobel?

  Isobel turns and looks at him blankly.

  Come on.

  Isobel Don’t be ridiculous. No.

  Irwin turns and goes to the desk, silently. He picks up the drawing and screws it into a ball. He throws it down into the wastepaper basket.

  What’s that?

  Irwin No, she’s right about the drawing. I’ll start again. My work is tenth-rate. (There is a pause.) Please. Let’s go to bed.

  Isobel turns and looks at him.

  Isobel I can’t do this. She’s got to stay.

  Isobel goes out after her. Irwin turns towards us, his face darkening.

  Then the sound of women’s laughter as the scene is replaced by Marion coming on in a pearl-grey suit, followed by Rhonda, a dark girl in her early twenties, with a great shock of long black hair, extremely lively and attractive, but with rather an academic disdain. They come from the garden into the living room of Robert’s house, which is in the process of being stripped out. There is a bare wooden floor, no curtains, an odd selection of abandoned chairs, which are mixed up with the open packing cases which are scattered round the room. But the library is still complete: walls of books from floor to ceiling. At the back a high, long line of windows gives out on to the lawn. It’s early afternoon. The women are in great spirits.

  SCENE FOUR

  Robert’s living room.

  Marion Well, I must say I really enjoyed that. I can’t remember when I had such a good time. I am actually good at it. I do actually enjoy a good political session.

  Rhonda Oh yes, absolutely. I thought you were absolutely superb.

  Marion Did you think so?

  Marion stands, reliving the encounter. Rhonda flops down in a chair.

  I don’t like Greens. They’re so self-righteous.

  Katherine comes into the room from the hall. She is wearing a sweater and black trousers. She is carrying a book.

  Hello, Katherine.

  Katherine How are you?

  She sits down to read her book in this half-empty room. Marion goes on as if she has been asked a question.

  Marion I had to see a delegation. Those awful Greens. Green people. About radiation levels from nuclear power stations. A subject, I may say, about which I know a great deal more than they do.

  Rhonda That was clear.

  Marion They’re always going on as if their case is moral. That’s what annoys me. Ours is moral too. People need power. Nuclear power is a cheap and effective way to provide it. It gives a lot of ordinary, decent people a considerably improved standard of living.

  Isobel appears in the doorway.

  I think that’s pretty moral as well.

  She turns and sees Isobel, frowning. She has in her hands piles of old books for the packing cases across the room.

  Isobel.

  Isobel Who were those people?

  Marion Greens. I said I’d meet them. I wanted to impress on them I had a country background. So I had the idea of showing them this house.
>
  She smiles. Rhonda smiles too.

  Isobel Where do they come from?

  Marion London.

  Rhonda Yes. It was brilliant. We said, ‘You can meet the Minister. Of course. The Minister’s happy to meet you. But wouldn’t it be more appropriate to meet in the countryside?’

  Isobel I see.

  Rhonda It meant they had to drive down.

  Marion I was going to be here anyway.

  She shrugs. The two of them are grinning.

  Rhonda You know her parting shot?

  Isobel I don’t.

  Marion It’s just I hate exaggeration. That and self-righteousness. Those two things. I said, ‘Come back and see me when you’re glowing in the dark.’

  Rhonda Brilliant.

  Marion I’d invited a journalist. His pencil went crazy. It’s so easy. It’s like throwing fish to seals. I was giving him the headline for his story. ‘Minister Says Come Back When You Glow.’

  Rhonda laughs again.

  Isobel Isn’t that a little bit risky?

  Marion Why?

  Isobel I mean, I don’t know, isn’t it a little bit extreme?

  Marion It’s a little bit extreme. That’s why it’s brilliant. That’s the whole art of publicity for a politician. You roll back the boundary just that little bit. A year ago you couldn’t have said it. But now – let’s face it – everyone hates Greens. (She sits down contentedly.) They’re bored. It’s a seventies problem.

  Rhonda That’s right.

  Marion points at Rhonda from across the room.

  Marion I despise their briefing. I’m so much better briefed. You know, they had absolutely no understanding of the method of accounting for plutonium rods. I cottoned on to that. Something that man with the blue shoes said very early on. It was a very small slip. But I got it. (She smiles at Rhonda.) From that moment on, they were dead.

  Rhonda Very good.

  Marion You know, they were expecting an idiot. That’s the first mistake. Because you’re a Conservative. And a member of the Government. They expect you to be stupid.

  Rhonda That gives you an advantage.

  Marion Yes, that’s right. (She turns and cuts the air decisively with her hand.) You blast them right out of the water. Hey, at this moment I could take them all on. The gloves are off. That’s what’s great. That’s what’s exciting. It’s a new age. Fight to the death.

  Irwin has come in. He is wearing gumboots which in a moment he will sit down to take off. The sound of distant gunfire.